Secret Discovering Exercises

Part 7: Secret Discovering Exercises

Exercises to root out your inner secrets and out of control behaviors. A major step to stop overeating.In following these exercises, you will create a book which will become a map, guide and vital resource for your triumphant journey. As you proceed on this new healing path you will gradually see your secrets unfold and become known by you in many surprising and relieving ways. You will begin to recognize how overeating and other out of control behaviors shield you from self-knowledge.

Soon you will be stronger and more free to choose new and more positive actions. You will begin to experience more health and joy in your life. You will not only recognize opportunities, but have more courage to act on them. You will bring more quality to your life than you have ever known.

First:
Establish a trustworthy support system so you have one or more friendly witnesses who are aware of your efforts.
Support could be:
sympathetic friend on a similar journey
trusted friend or friends
members of a psychotherapy group
12 step companions
12 step sponsor
other trustworthy and reliable person who is capable of tolerating your strong feelings without getting pulled into them.
your psychotherapist
(As close and as sympathetic some family members might be, it is usually best to have support for this process be someone who is not a relative.)
There will be times when you feel more than you think you can bear. You will need a trustworthy companion.
At first, one kind friend may be enough. Eventually, if you seriously engage yourself in these exercises, you may need more regular and reliable support than one friend can give. That's normal.
 
Second:
Remember and list experiences that soothe and inspire you. Your list might include:
reading
listening to music
playing with a pet
drawing
model building
working cross word puzzles
warm baths or showers
walking
running
gardening
dancing
dance classes
playing sports
lifting weights
exercise classes
board games
conversation
watching movies
writing
bicycling
painting
working with clay
swimming
Whenever you find yourself having an enjoyable experience where you are happy or just more comfortable being you, describe that experience on paper and add it to your list. You are building your awareness of genuine support, health and joy resources. You will this specific and written list as you proceed through the Action Steps on your Triumphant Journey.
 
Third:
Be kind and appreciative of yourself. Acknowledge yourself as part of your support system.
Every morning read aloud several affirmations [1] and [2] to the walls, the garden, the furniture and the mirror. This will help you build a kind appreciation for yourself. When you discover a thought that is meaningful and helpful to you, add it to the affirmations list. Create your own affirmations making sure they are each in a positive form.

Fourth:
Let yourself know how much of your life has been consumed with protecting your secrets. Often guarding and hiding inner secrets becomes the basic organizing principle which governs all your actions.
Think about what you have been absolutely certain about what you can and cannot do.
Examples to get you started thinking about this are:
What kinds of things are okay for you to talk about?
What kinds of things must you or dare you not talk about?
What kind of people can you be with?
Who must you not be with or dare not be with?
What can ask of yourself or others?
What must you not dare to ask of yourself or others?
What kind of treatment or environment or life style must you accept, like it or not?
What kind of treatment, environment or life style do you barely allow yourself to dream of? Are there ways of living that other people can have but never you? Is it forbidden, for some reason, for you to try to bring that way of living into your life?
Getting acquainted with the power and influence of your belief system takes time, patience and courage. When you start to question these beliefs you begin to challenge the power of your inner secrets.
Some limits you impose on yourself are free choices. For example, you may choose to take a boring part time job because it gives you time to be with your baby or take a class or work on a project that is important to you yet brings in no income. That's a free choice.
But if you take a boring part-time job because you believe that you can't ask for more or expect more then you may well be under the influence of inner secrets you don't know about.
Hidden inner secrets can't let you know about your own strength. If you have knowledge and strength, you might challenge the system which holds you down. And overeating holds you down.
Fifth:
Remember to breathe and allow yourself to be surprised.
Breathe evenly and surely. Watch you breath and allow oxygen to nourish your body and mind.
As you breathe, allow yourself to be surprised. When you are surprised, allow yourself to breathe. Remember to exhale fully.
When you are surprised, you are discovering something. Your surprise is a major signal that you are uncovering inner secrets. In time those nameless secrets will be understood, named and resolved. With every surprise and resolution of secrets comes more understanding and freedom.
Sixth:
Elaborate on these exercises to make them your own.
You can add to your book:
thoughts
memories
conversations of the day
daydreams
night dreams
You might include a phrase, comment, affirmation, prayer, or quote that touches your heart or your imagination.
These are personal strands of awareness that touch your genuine self. As you gather these strands, your desire to live healthy and strong will weave them into a healing, teaching, strengthening support system that will help make you whole.
Overeating is such a puny substitute for the strength and beauty you can create within yourself.
You can have self-confidence based on true personal strength and wisdom.
Seventh:
At least once every three weeks, read your book aloud. You will be sharing truth and freedom with yourself.
These are seven preparatory steps for your taking specific action. What follows is the Action Plan, the method you will use to be free of overeating.
The Action Plan is the heart of your Triumphant Journey.

Action Steps

Step One:
Make a regular appointment with yourself to travel on your Triumphant Journey. Give yourself a day, at least once a week, and a time. Give yourself a minimum of a half hour. Keep your appointment.

Step Two:
Obtain a 3 ring loose leaf notebook for 8 ½" by 11" sheets.
Print out the seven preparations of Secret discovering Exercises. Use a three hole punch to fit those pages in the beginning of your book.
Print out the Action Steps listed below and insert the pages in your notebook.
Write or print out each of the 20 secret discovering questions on a separate page. Insert each page with a question on it in your book. Place at least two blank sheets of paper after each question page. (Some questions may relate to you more than others. For now, keep them all in your book.)
Print out the Exercises to Stop Overeating and put them in your notebook.

Step Three
Any time your find yourself in an overeating situation, move as quickly as you can to these exercises and find what is helpful for you.
When you begin to discover additional situations and helpful exercises on your own, write them down in this section. It's amazing how brilliant we can be in the moment, and how quickly we can forget our own discoveries. Write down your new found strengths and understandings so you can recover them when you need them.
Use a divider to separate the sections in your notebook so you can find specific areas easily.

Step Four:
Select a safe and private place for this book.
Step Five:
Read the seven introduction points again.
Step Six:
Choose one of the secret discovering questions. Decide using your own criteria. For example, you may select a question because:
  • It touches you the most.
  • It intrigues you the most.
  • It causes you a degree of emotion you feel you can tolerate.
  • You feel it's the safest place to begin.
Remember, this process will take time. You do what you can do now. Tomorrow your now will be different from your now of today. You will feel differently and choose based on what you feel then. Now just choose based on what you feel now. You can't make a mistake. This is your personal journey.
 
Step Seven:
1.Sit quietly. Breathe naturally and watch your breath. Gradually breathe more deeply and free your mind.
2.Review the question you've selected as you breathe evenly.
3.Pay attention to what occurs to you.
4.Write the thoughts and feelings which occur to you on the blank pages following the question.
  • You may write unconnected words.
  • You may write partial or complete sentences.
  • You may draw pictures or make shapes.

Whatever occurs to you is of value.

Step Eight:
Pause and breathe evenly.
Pay attention to your body.
How are you sitting?
How are you holding your head, jaw, legs?
Pay attention to how you physically feel in your
  • eyes
  • head
  • neck
  • arms
  • hands
  • chest
  • back
  • stomach
  • hips
  • groin
  • legs
  • feet
Don't judge. Just pay attention to what is happening and write it down.
Step Nine
Let yourself experiences images which may flash before your mind's eye.
  • They might be memories, fantasies, wishes or dreads.
  • They might seem inconsequential or irrelevant.
  • You might hear sounds in your imagination with no pictures.
  • Or you might remember smells.
  • Don't judge them. Just accept them and write them down.
Step Ten:
As you proceed, you may feel physical sensations, strong emotions or both. Stay with them and write them down.

Step Eleven:
Notice what you want to do to end this exercise. Postpone ending the exercise for from one to ten minutes. The minutes you spend in the exercise after you want to stop will provide you with more information. It's not necessary to push beyond ten minutes. You are stretching your tolerance in this exercise. You are also being kind, patient and accepting of yourself. Postponing from one to ten minutes will give you the strengthening and confidence building experience you need. More is not required.
As you postpone you build your own strength and endurance so you can bear more information. That's where your freedom is. Write down this experience too.
Step Twelve:
When you decide you have had enough, write that you have decided to stop. Also write what you intend to do in the next minute. Be honest. Then put your book in the safe place you created.

Next Appointment with Yourself

In each appointment with yourself, go through these exercises the same way, beginning with reading the introductory preparatory exercises. With each appointment with yourself you may choose the same or a different question. You will find that you avoid some and return to others. You are choosing what is right for you at the time.

Understanding Your Triumphant Journey Process

By beginning to go through these exercises, even for a moment, you are slowing down your escape behavior. You are journeying toward what has been dark inside you. This is your gentle but firm search through your protective system. You are on your way to the truth, innocence and solidity of your identity.

By moving slowly and without judgment through these carefully planned and respectful processes, you will begin to hear and understand your own well guarded secrets. Your protective system will present obstacles. You will be extraordinarily creative in the range of obstacles you present to yourself. It is a challenge to meet them. It can also be a very reinforcing time as you appreciate your own powers of unconscious creativity. Once your secrets are resolved you will be able to use your creativity for much more positive purposes.

When you know these obstacles are unnecessary defenses your protective system is putting up, you can more firmly stay present and on task. Here are a few example of self-created obstacles. Learn to recognize them for what they are.

1. You will get anxious, bored, irritated or distracted.
2. You will forget to do the exercises.
3. You will only be able to do them for a few minutes.
4. You will not image or experience a brief and little image.
5. You will say to yourself, "This is nonsense." "This isn't getting me anywhere." "I can't do this right." "I want _______(fill in your favorite binge food)."

These are the actions and the voice of your old self-protective system. Remember, you developed this system when you were a young, frightened and powerless child. Living by such rules now that you are more mature and have more personal resources is a tremendous waste of your life energy.

It takes time to let go of a system that has worked well for you for so long. After all, that part of you was designed to save your life. Maybe it actually did help to save your life or your sanity.

If you meet these obstacles with the patience and kindness they deserve, gradually you will begin to hear your true voice, a voice hidden for years by overeating and other barriers.

Over time, you will discover and develop more strength and courage. You will greet yourself as an undivided person capable of positive action and profound joy.

This will take time. You will cry. You will get mad. You will protest. Use your support systems. Be gentle with yourself. Stick with it. These are the guideposts for your triumphant journey.

end of part 7

next: Part Eight: Using Affirmations to Stop Overeating
~ all triumphant journey articles
~ eating disorders library
~ all articles on eating disorders

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, November 21). Secret Discovering Exercises, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, October 4 from https://www.healthyplace.com/eating-disorders/articles/secret-discovering-exercises

Last Updated: April 18, 2016

Time of Decision

Part 4: Time of Decision

Inner secrets, hidden emotions can result in episodes of overeating or a return to overeating. More on how to cope.Once episodes of overeating diminish and hidden feelings become apparent, the second phase of your journey begins.

You feel proud and excited as you establish a healthy and reasonable eating pattern. Your good feelings, based on controlling what you eat, reinforce hope that you can create a better life for yourself. In time this more balanced way of eating and living will become familiar.

In this phase of your journey, as newly formed eating habits begin to become routine, you will begin to feel vulnerable and unsure.

This is a critical time. The emotionally flooding thrill of early success will pale as you feel previously hidden emotions. You may feel tempted to return to overeating to soothe yourself.

The temptation to return to overeating signals your next opportunity. Your feeling of exposure and vulnerability springs from being near secrets you have from yourself. Your anxieties suggest that you run away by eating. Your journey to health points forward into the challenge of meeting your fears. This is a time of decision.

Let's take a closer look at inner secrets, those secrets inside that even you don't know.

Necessity of Inner Secrets

If you overeat or binge, you may in your past have experienced something you could not bear to feel or know. Overeating puts a great, numbing shield between you and your awareness of yourself. It is part of an effective system many people develop in order to not fully know their history.

That history may involve events that happened to you, events you witnessed, events you heard about. That history may involve bewildering and powerful emotional experiences you had in the past but did not have the strength or maturity to understand or tolerate. Overeating protects you from knowledge about yourself.

No one can end an effective protective system unless they know they do not need that protection any longer. If the threatening sense of danger you have is a secret from yourself, you have no way to evaluate your safety. Without knowledge of your inner life, you can't know when you are out of danger so you will continue to use your protective system, overeating.

Once you know your secrets, you begin to learn that you are able to live with the knowledge. You can strengthen yourself through practice and understanding to live your life with more appreciation for the experiences you have survived. Then you will have no need for the methods which keep you numb and oblivious. There lies triumph and freedom.

Are you curious about your inner secrets?

Curiosity

Are you curious about your inner secrets? Curiosity is the beginning of freedom. Curiosity can mobilize your strength and courage. It can propel you on your triumphant journey.

Responsible diet books or physical exercise programs provide tools and guidance to help you achieve more physical health, strength, flexibility and stamina. They do not address the powerful issues that challenge or block your entry to a more healthful psychological and emotional path.

To reach the more healthful path that can lead to triumph and freedom you need your curiosity.

Curiosity asks, "Why must I live this way?" Then, as you become more alert and aware, you will seek your answer in a new and deeper way.

This is the search, find and understand section of your journey. Your secrets are treasures which, when discovered, understood and emotionally processed, will help free you from your overeating life style.

How Secrets Relate to Overeating and Binge Behavior

For our discussion there are two kinds of secrets: the ones you know about and the ones you don't know about.

Secrets overeaters know about and try to keep hidden from others cover a wide range of eating behaviors. Some secrets include:

  • gorging on bread, pasta, pastry, ice cream, frozen yogurt, especially alone at night.
  • getting caught in the sweet/salt trap eating peanuts and chips with cookies and candy.
  • Sitting in front of the TV, eating and 'checking out' for hours.
  • Eating for comfort while driving the car.

Overeaters often calm social jitters by eating privately before they eat a meal with other people. This also helps overeaters to hide their true eating habits. It's easy to say no publicly to second helpings and chocolate cake when you have eaten sweets before the meal. Plus, you know you can gorge yourself when you get home.

Overeaters often try to convince others to join them in "innocent treats," pretending their eating splurge is an occasional lark and not part of a regular pattern.

Keeping secrets from others often involves lying. Lying strips you of your self-esteem and fills you with permanent guilt. The guilt feels permanent because the lies seem so necessary. Without the lies, your secrets would become known. Public disclosure of your secrets seems to you like it would be a personal catastrophe.


The Darker Side of Secrets -- Moving to the Unknown

Secrets go beyond food behavior. Overeaters often try to give themselves a sense of power, thrills or feelings of superiority. They may buy things beyond their resources. They may have secret sexual relationships. They may flee a relationship if they suspect the person sees through their eating pretenses or is aware of their buying or sexual binges.

If any of these secrets apply to you, then you know about the darker side of secret keeping. You get scared. You cry or shake in the dark. You occasionally isolate yourself until you feel there is not a soul who cares about you. You feel helpless and angry regularly.

You make private, wild promises about changing, but can't. You binge on food or other activities until you feel drugged. You may be hung over for days.

You won't tell anyone about this secret personal hell you're living. You make complaints of being ill. You may accept or expect caretaking and feel profoundly sad when it is not enough.

Now we are entering the vast areas of secrets you do not know about yourself. Here are major signals that you are entering a secret territory within yourself. You yell, cry, plead or become stone silent with someone while feeling self-righteous.

This may be a familiar and recurring scene, yet you may not wish to know how you contribute to create it. You may not wish to know how your troubled-eating practices and binge behaviors cause many problems in your life.

You can succeed in not knowing. You have for a long time.

To explore how you create some of your troubles would bring you uncomfortably close to your unknown inner secrets.

What are these secrets? What is the darkness from which they arise? Letting your curiosity come forth will help you tolerate your feelings as you explore the possible roots of your inner secrets.

Part 4: Roots of Inner Secrets

Secrets from yourself are usually based on inescapable stress situations in childhood. They often involve blatant physical, sexual and emotional abuse. However, roots of secrets can be found elsewhere as well.

Some examples are:

* To change homes, schools, friends and neighborhoods regularly or in a traumatic way.
* To face death or serious illness of crucial people in your life.
* War
* Riots
* Earthquakes
* Fire
* Refugee flight and resettlement

Too much unpredictable behavior and schedule changes can cause intolerable stress to a child. Sometimes the child discovers that food stops or at least dims the pain of that stress.

Part 4: More Subtle Causes of Inner Secrets

When a child's identity, worth in body, mind, soul and imagination, are disregarded or trampled, the bewildering emotional pain is too much for most children to bear. Because they are children, they have no criteria for behavior, no comparison, no frame of reference. They believe that this is the way the world is. And, of course, this is the way their world is. They will accept as true and valid the destructive messages pouring into them and struggle to find a way to survive their pain.

Some methods of destroying a child's worth are:

  • To belittle a child's thinking.
  • To disparage a child's natural desires and behaviors.
  • To neglect or isolate a child.
  • To break promises.
  • To tell fantasies as if they were true.
  • To tease unrelentingly.
  • To not believe a child who says friends, teachers, neighbors or strangers are harassing her or him.
  • To punish a child for telling his or her experience and/or telling the child his or her experience did not happen.

Today sensational, exaggerated language is often used in advertising, news and conversation to make an emotional point.

In the context of an assaulted child's experience, the roots of inner secrets are genuinely intolerable. Intolerable means truly unendurable. The child cannot stay alive and sane and experience what is intolerable.

When stress, pain, horror, confusion, bewilderment and fear are both intolerable and inescapable there are usually two choices. The situation must end or the child must die or go insane.

The creative child finds a third choice. The child who will survive blocks awareness. Intolerable information becomes a well-guarded secret.

The secret is guarded until the child is strong enough, mature enough, has enough support and information, to retrieve his lost experience and live a more full life.

If you are an overeater, the darkness and compulsive behaviors around your inner secrets are the devices that have saved your life. It takes a lot of trust and courage to know that you can survive without them. When you rally your trust and courage to begin to explore your own darkness you embark on the next phase of your triumphant journey.

end of part 4

next: Part Five: The Creation of an Overeater -- Mary's Story
~ all triumphant journey articles
~ eating disorders library
~ all articles on eating disorders

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, November 21). Time of Decision, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, October 4 from https://www.healthyplace.com/eating-disorders/articles/time-of-decision

Last Updated: April 18, 2016

Problems in Relationships

Problems in Relationships

"Personal unhappiness is the greatest contributor to relationship problems."

"You don't love me like I love you"

Problems can creep in when we start to have thoughts of "do I love him more than he loves me?" We start examining all the things we do for our lover. All the ways we express our love and how much time and energy we're putting into the relationship. Then we try to figure out if our lover is giving an equal amount back. If we perceive a discrepancy in that balance sheet, we start to back away from the relationship. We don't want to love more than they love. We become fearful that if we love them more than they love us, we might be played for a foo

Useful Questions:

  • Focus on how you feel when YOU are loving. Does loving someone feel good regardless if it's returned? Is your loving someone conditional on them loving you back? If so, why?
  • Do you feel loved when your partner isn't around? If not, why not? Do you accept yourself, appreciate your qualities?
  • Are you doing things for your lover that you really don't want to do, but feel you need to, to keep their love? Are you doing things for them, expecting something in return? What are you expecting? And have you told them what that is?
  • Have you talked to your partner about what things cause you to feel loved? (Don't get caught up in "if they loved me, they'd know", cause they don't.)

"We don't have anything in common anymore."

You love each other and that's why you got together in the first place, but you don't really seem to have much in common anymore. You're into philosophy and art. They're into sports. You like books and going for walks, and she always wants to go sailing. But you tell yourself that marriage is a sacrifice. A give and take. You've been told you should put aside your own interests to make the relationship work. You have to compromise, right? But when you give up what you love for the sake of the relationship, you end up resenting the person and conclude you don't have anything in common.

If you had these differences when you fell in love, chances are it's not about having nothing in common, but not having the connection and intimacy you once had.

Useful Questions:

  • Has the amount of one-on-one time changed since you first met?
  • Do you still share everything with your partner like you use to?
  • What would happen if you did what you wanted, and they did what they wanted?
  • How much time do you have to spend with your lover to feel you have a successful relationship? How did you arrive at that amount? What would it mean if you had separate interests?
  • Do you see yourself and your partner as two separate people who choose to be together or do you feel some type of obligation?
  • Do you believe "Love means to sacrifice."? If so, why?

"We can't talk about that."

Every time you approach certain subjects, it turns into an argument. In the back of your mind, you decide to avoid that topic in the future because you don't want to fight. You don't want the conflict. You believe fighting means the relationship is on rocky ground or is threatening to the relationship. You want to stay together, but believe if you fight, you might separate. So you become afraid to talk about one or two subjects. Over time, that list of "don't touch that one" becomes more and more numerous. And as the list of avoided topics grows, it starts to feel like you can't talk with each other anymore. You feel distant and detached. You start wondering how much longer you can live like this. The silence grows.

Useful Questions:

  • Examine your beliefs about love and arguing. Are you afraid of being hurt in relationships? Does disagreeing with someone always mean hurt feelings? If so, why? How could you do it differently?
  • Do you limit yourself in some way when with your lover? Why? What might happen if you let them see and hear all of you?
  • Is honesty in your love relationship ever a "wrong" move?
    Why do you believe that?
  • Talk to your partner about your concerns while keeping the focus on your feelings and not their behavior. (Helpful hint: Be watchful of terms like "you always, you never, you make me feel." Try this instead: "When you [the behavior], I find myself felling [your feelings]...")
  • Learn to be more accepting of your partner by becoming more accepting of yourself.

Problems in Relationships

"It would be easier to start over with someone else."

Some time has passed in the relationship and you've both built up lies. Some big ones but mostly small ones. They're not blatant lies, but mostly unspoken thoughts and feelings. The intentions behind the lies were to protect yourself and your partner from pain. But now, your problems seem overwhelming and you can't talk openly and honestly about them because you've already established a certain pattern of communication. It seems it would be considerably easier to just start fresh with a new partner. One where you could be yourself without fear.

Useful Questions:

  • Is honesty in your love relationship ever a "wrong" move?
    Why do you believe that? (Read more about how honesty affects relationships)
  • Get clear on what you've lied about to your partner. What would happen if you shared what you learned? What is the worst that would happen? Are you capable of handling that? Why or why not?.
  • Figure out what you're afraid would happen if you were honest with them about those issues.
  • Talk to your partner about your concerns of being TOTALLY honest. Keep the focus on YOUR feelings and not their behavior.
  • Muster up the courage to tell them what you've lied about. Repeat to yourself, "No matter what happens, I will be okay."

"If you loved me you would....."

Unspoken and unacknowledged expectations take a large toll in relationships. In having expectations, you're expecting your partner to be a certain way in order to believe they love and care about you. If you don't get what you expect, you conclude all kinds of negative things about the relationship that may not be true.

Useful Questions:

  • Do your expectations have to be fulfilled for you to be happy? If so, why?
  • Do you expect your partner to conform to your wants? What does it mean when they don't?
  • Do you have preset rules in your love relationships? If so, what are they and why?
  • Do you find yourself often saying "he should" or "she should"?
  • Do you have any "If you loved me you would...[fill in the blank]'s"? If so, what are they?
  • Can you think of a time you didn't do what someone wanted you to do? Did you love them, even though you didn't do what they wanted? Could it be the same with your partner?
  • Do you use another's words and actions as "evidence or proof" that they love you?. If your partner does that thing or activity you want, then do they love you? If they don't, is that a sign they don't love you or care? If yes, why?
  • Understand everyone has different wants, desires, and beliefs about what it means to be loving.
  • Be Honest
  • Examine what expectations you DO have, then openly discuss them with your partner. Find out what theirs are.

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, November 21). Problems in Relationships, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, October 4 from https://www.healthyplace.com/relationships/creating-relationships/problems-in-relationships

Last Updated: June 7, 2019

Relationships Require Attention

Relationships Require Attention - Every Day and Every Minute! All there is, is relationships! Relationships are about how we relate; with ourselves; with people; with our love partner; with the predicaments we find ourselves in; with our boss; with everything!

How we do that, can inspire a lifetime of love and passion or a lifetime of regret for not having lived life to its fullest in our relationships . Great relationships with others begin with having a great relationship with ourselves. This must be foremost in our minds, every day and every minute.

Relationships Require AttentionIt begins with you. Make yourself better than you ever thought you could be and you will find the relationship you have with your love partner getting better. This works especially well when two people are focusing on working on themselves; together. Then, the relationship you have with the one you love can only grow and prosper.

Only selfish people think only of themselves. When you really love yourself you cannot help but want to give some of your love away. Other people have a need to be loved. So do you. People are like that.

Like attracts like. What you become you attract. Want a great love partner? Become a great love partner! Work on this one. Sharing love with someone else must only and always begin with you. Learn to relate to yourself better. What make you tick? What makes your relationships tick? Answer these questions truthfully and you may discover yourself and a better relationship.

Relationships, when we pay attention to them, are a request for us to be our personal best. Relationships, especially with someone we love and love to pay attention to, begin us on a personal quest, not only for answers but for questions. You are on the threshold of adventure. . . a journey of self-discovery. You may begin to understand why successful love relationships are something to which we must give our undivided attention.

Put yourself first! Never give yourself away in a relationship to the point that you put others before yourself.

Decide what is acceptable and what is unacceptable to you; to your relationship with others and to your relationship with your love partner.


continue story below

Be yourself. Remember, like attracts like. Be someone who attracts the kind of people you really love to be with! Be the best you can be. Always. Every day and every minute. Plan on good stuff happening in your life and the life you have with the one you're with and watch what happens!

There are some people we don't get along with very well. You know, the ones who, if they would only change, you would really love to be with. Well, the bad news is. . . they are you! It's true. What you see in others, whether you like it or not, whether it is good or bad, is a reflection of something in you that needs attention and perhaps healing in yourself.

What you perceive in others you only strengthen that same characteristic in yourself. The next time this happens, stop, take a breath, step back and notice that this is when you are being the old you and not being the best you can be.

Do you know how to change that? It simple! Do something different. Change your thinking, then change your behavior and you change your life. Change your 'not so great' relationship behavior and you change your relationships. Almost always for the better.

I say, "almost," because your love partner and you, both have choice about whether you will change; for the good; for the worse or just maintain. When you really love someone, you feel a need to move forward, to bigger and better things. . . together.

When you know what it is that you have to do to make your life and your relationships better, and you don't do it, just know that there can be no good reason for not doing it. I dare you to make people try to believe that you have a good reason, without having them look at you funny. That funny look may mean they think you are full of it.

When you change your attitude about another person, a situation or whatever it is, you give power to the other person or situation to change. It's giving freedom. You can only grant this freedom if you have it to give away. Then, they have choice about whether they change, or not, and you may also have some new choices to consider. Those choices can always lead you to something better when you decide that is what you want for your relationship.

Just because you know this doesn't mean anything. Something can never really mean anything until you do something with it. We must do something - whatever it takes - to make our relationships the relationships we love being in. We must always carefully consider what action to take.

Every choice has a consequence; some we call good, some we call not so good. Action without thought is only thoughtless action. Relationships are individual projects first and mutually beneficial projects second and they take our constant attention; every day and every minute.

Knowing this does not mean your relationships will always be great either. You have choice. The dilemma is this: there are two people. That means there are two choices. Not to say anything about the multitude of choices that each of you have. Each love partner is only and always responsible for their own choice.

It is when we forget this that the problem begins. We expect our love partner to make the best choices and when they are not our choices, we get disappointed and most people call that a problem.

The fact that all there is, is relationships, should, every day and every minute, find us being the best we can be. Relationships is the one thing that everyone can relate to. It is often the last thing we work on until the mountain is so high we can both hardly climb it. I have a question. If we know this, for what good reason don't we work most on what counts the most; the relationships we have with with ourself and others?

We use reasons to explain away why we don't want to do something; reasons why we don't want to change. If we know that doing something different might help the situation, not doing something different is called "stupid." The best reason why has never solved the problem. Often reasons why are understandable, however what is not understandable is why we feel the need to have our lives dominated by reasons why we didn't do something different instead of results.

When we make the decision to go for results in our love relationships, that's the real moment we make a decision to grow and prosper, both personally and professionally. We turn our back on childishness. The decision to allow growth to occur is when we become clear that results are more important than reasons why we don't have them. And. . . when we really love ourselves and the one we're with, why would we not want to always focus on results in our relationships?

Explore ways of being that empower your relationship. . . explore and discover them together. . . every day and every minute.

next: 10 Ways to Simplify Your Life

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, November 20). Relationships Require Attention, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, October 4 from https://www.healthyplace.com/relationships/celebrate-love/relationships-require-attention

Last Updated: May 13, 2015

Facet # 6 - Metaphysical

"What I have found is that in many instances even though the levels that I can see, that I am conscious of, are mostly dysfunctional - arising out of the false beliefs and fears of the disease of Codependence - on deeper levels there are right on reasons for behaviors for which I was judging myself.

As one simple example . . . when I started to learn about Codependence, I used to really beat myself up because I found that I was still looking for her, even though I had learned about some of the dysfunctional levels of that longing.

I had learned that as long as I thought that I needed someone else to make me happy and whole I was setting myself up to be a victim.   I had learned that I was not a frog who needed a princess to kiss me in order to turn into a prince - that I am a prince already, and just need to learn to accept   that state of Grace, that princeness.

I had come to understand that those levels of my longing were dysfunctional and Codependent - and I judged and shamed myself because I could not let go of the longing for her.

But as my awakening progressed I realized that there were right on reasons for that longing, for that endless aching need that I felt.

One of those right on levels was that the longing was a message concerning   my very real need to attain some balance between the masculine and feminine energy within me - which begets dysfunctional behavior when it is projected, focused, outward as I had been taught to do in childhood.

And on a much deeper level I came to understand that I am - and have been, ever since polarization - looking for my twin soul."

Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls

From my earliest memories in this lifetime I had experienced her occasional presence in my dreams.   I have never been able to retain a clear visual image of her upon awakening, but the echo of the memory of how it felt to be with her has been with me   always.   I very rarely brought it to conscious awareness, or spent time thinking about her, but the sensation of her haunted me.   I would catch myself looking for her as I walked down a street or shopped in a store - anywhere and everywhere.   The looking was seldom a conscious process - it was almost as if some part of my deepest being was always watching, always waiting.


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When I began my recovery process, my healing, it had been necessary for me to become conscious of the dysfunctional attitudes I had learned about relationships in childhood.   That was when I became aware that on some levels my looking for her was about the princess and frog syndrome.   That is, the false belief that I needed a princess to love me before I could be whole.   It was society's reversed perspective on life that had led me to believe that someone outside of myself was necessary to full-fill me.   That attitude is dysfunctional because it is a set-up.   As long as I was giving other people the power to make me whole, I was doomed to be a victim.

Once I started to erase the old tapes about needing some her to make me okay, I started to awaken to the Truth that Spiritually I am a prince.   I started to realize that only through healing my wounded soul could I become conscious of my wholeness.   When I committed myself to Spiritual purpose and growth, and let go of the false belief that I needed some one else to fix me, then I realized that only in health and wholeness could I Truly give myself in a relationship.   Only by learning to access Love for myself could I share that Love with another person.

It was after I accepted that I was the only person who could fix me, that I became aware of a deeper level from which the looking for her impulse originated.   I started to understand how humans have attempted to apply Spiritual Truths to physical existence, and how confused we had become because of this reversed thinking.   That was when I realized that, although the levels of thinking that I had to find her to be whole were dysfunctional, there was a deeper level where the impulse came out of Truth.   That Truth was that my soul was looking for it's other half.   The polarization of the lower mind, and subsequent reversal of the Earths energy field of consciousness, had caused my twin soul and I to be torn apart sixty-six thousand years ago.   I came to realize that an important part of the evolutionary process was the awakening of my soul to wholeness so that my twin soul and I could be reunited.   And that our reunion was not necessary for becoming whole - but rather that becoming conscious of wholeness, of Oneness within, was necessary for that reunion to take place.

The Dance of the Wounded Souls Trilogy   Book 1 - "In the beginning . . . "

Everything is cause and effect. Everything comes from somewhere.   The dysfunctional, codependent, twisted, distorted perspective of Romantic Relationships ultimately goes back to a longing for our twin soul.   We all have a twin soul.   We each also have several soul mates.   It is not bad or wrong to long for them. It is dysfunctional for us to expect them to show up in this lifetime - and if they do show up to expect that that means everything will go smoothly.   We have a lot of Karma to settle - there is work to do to make any Romantic Relationship work for us.

next: Facet # 7 - Reasons to take the Risk

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, November 20). Facet # 6 - Metaphysical, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, October 4 from https://www.healthyplace.com/relationships/joy2meu/facet-6-metaphysical

Last Updated: August 7, 2014

Is What I'm Feeling Infatuation or Love?

Red Flag Thoughts:
"You are my life. I can't live without you."

Is What I'm Feeling Infatuation or Love?There are some feelings we have when infatuated that we don't have when we're feeling love. Some of the "symptoms" of infatuation are; feelings of panic, uncertainty, overpowering lust, feverish excitement, impatience, and/or jealously.

When infatuated, we are thrilled, but not happy, wanting to trust, yet suspicious. There are lingering, nagging doubts about our "partner in infatuation" and their love for us. We're miserable when they're away, almost like we're not complete unless we're with them. It's a rush and it's intense. It's difficult to concentrate. And most infatuation relationships have a high degree of sexual charge around them. Somehow being with them is not complete unless in ends in some type of sexual encounter.

Do any of these "symptoms" resemble feelings of love? Hardly. So why do we become infatuated? Where does it come from? Perhaps it's biological.

When infatuated we experience a surge of dopamine that rushes through the brain causing us to feel good. Norepinephrine flows through the brain stimulating production of adrenaline (pounding heart). Phenylethalimine (found in chocolate) creates a feeling of bliss. Irrational romantic sentiments may be caused by oxytocin, a primary sexual arousal hormone that signals orgasm and feelings of emotional attachment. Together these chemicals sometimes override the brain activity that governs logic.

The body can build up tolerances to these chemicals so it takes more of the substance to get that special feeling of infatuation. People who jump from relationship to relationship may be craving the intoxicating effects of these substances and may be "infatuation junkies".

When the chemical flood dries up, the relationship either moves into a loving romantic one or there is disillusionment, and the relationship ends.

 


continue story below


next: Different Types of Relationships

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, November 20). Is What I'm Feeling Infatuation or Love?, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, October 4 from https://www.healthyplace.com/relationships/creating-relationships/is-what-im-feeling-infatuation-or-love

Last Updated: June 25, 2015

Alternative Treatments for Mental Health Conditions Table of Contents

Detailed information on herbal treatments, natural remedies, vitamins and supplements and other alternative treatments for psychiatric disorders.

Detailed information on herbal treatments, natural remedies, vitamins and supplements and other alternative treatments for psychiatric disorders.

  1. Treatments for Specific Disorders
  2. Herbal Treatments
  3. Supplemente and Vitamines
  4. Other Alternative Treatments

1.- Treatment for Specific Disorders

2.- Herbal Treatments, Natural Remedies


 


3.- Supplements and Vitamins

4.- Other Alternative Treatments

next: Recovering Your Mental Health: A Self-Help Guide

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, November 20). Alternative Treatments for Mental Health Conditions Table of Contents, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, October 4 from https://www.healthyplace.com/alternative-mental-health/main/alternative-treatments-for-mental-health-conditions

Last Updated: July 8, 2016

Vitamin B6

Detailed information on vitamin B6, uses of vitamin B6, signs and symptoms of vitamin B6 deficiency, and vitamin B6 supplements.

Detailed information on vitamin B6, uses of vitamin B6, signs and symptoms of vitamin B6 deficiency, and vitamin B6 supplements.

Dietary Supplement Fact Sheet: Vitamin B6

Table of Contents

Vitamin B6: What is it?

Vitamin B6 is a water-soluble vitamin that exists in three major chemical forms: pyridoxine, pyridoxal, and pyridoxamine [1,2]. It performs a wide variety of functions in your body and is essential for your good health. For example, vitamin B6 is needed for more than 100 enzymes involved in protein metabolism. It is also essential for red blood cell metabolism. The nervous and immune systems need vitamin B6 to function efficiently, [3-6] and it is also needed for the conversion of tryptophan (an amino acid) to niacin (a vitamin) [1,7].

Hemoglobin within red blood cells carries oxygen to tissues. Your body needs vitamin B6 to make hemoglobin. Vitamin B6 also helps increase the amount of oxygen carried by hemoglobin. A vitamin B6 deficiency can result in a form of anemia [1] that is similar to iron deficiency anemia.


 


An immune response is a broad term that describes a variety of biochemical changes that occur in an effort to fight off infections. Calories, protein, vitamins, and minerals are important to your immune defenses because they promote the growth of white blood cells that directly fight infections. Vitamin B6, through its involvement in protein metabolism and cellular growth, is important to the immune system. It helps maintain the health of lymphoid organs (thymus, spleen, and lymph nodes) that make your white blood cells. Animal studies show that a vitamin B6 deficiency can decrease your antibody production and suppress your immune response [1,5].

Vitamin B6 also helps maintain your blood glucose (sugar) within a normal range. When caloric intake is low your body needs vitamin B6 to help convert stored carbohydrate or other nutrients to glucose to maintain normal blood sugar levels. While a shortage of vitamin B6 will limit these functions, supplements of this vitamin do not enhance them in well-nourished individuals [1,8-10].

What foods provide vitamin B6?

Vitamin B6 is found in a wide variety of foods including fortified cereals, beans, meat, poultry, fish, and some fruits and vegetables [1,11]. The table of selected food sources of vitamin B6 suggests many dietary sources of B6.

What is the Recommended Dietary Allowance for vitamin B6 for adults?

The Recommended Dietary Allowance (RDA) is the average daily dietary intake level that is sufficient to meet the nutrient requirements of nearly all (97 to 98 percent) healthy individuals in each life-stage and gender group [12].

The 1998 RDAs for vitamin B6 [12] for adults, in milligrams, are:

References

Life-StageMenWomenPregnancyLactation
Ages 19-50 1.3 mg 1.3 mg    
Ages 51+ 1.7 mg 1.5 mg    
All Ages     1.9 mg 2.0 mg
Results of two national surveys, the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey (NHANES III 1988-94) [12,13] and the Continuing Survey of Food Intakes by Individuals (1994-96 CSFII) [12], indicated that diets of most Americans meet current intake recommendations for vitamin B6 [12].

When can a vitamin B6 deficiency occur?

Clinical signs of vitamin B6 deficiency are rarely seen in the United States. Many older Americans, however, have low blood levels of vitamin B6, which may suggest a marginal or sub-optimal vitamin B6 nutritional status. Vitamin B6 deficiency can occur in individuals with poor quality diets that are deficient in many nutrients. Symptoms occur during later stages of deficiency, when intake has been very low for an extended time. Signs of vitamin B6 deficiency include dermatitis (skin inflammation), glossitis (a sore tongue), depression, confusion, and convulsions [1,12]. Vitamin B6 deficiency also can cause anemia [1,12,14]. Some of these symptoms can also result from a variety of medical conditions other than vitamin B6 deficiency. It is important to have a physician evaluate these symptoms so that appropriate medical care can be given.

Who may need extra vitamin B6 to prevent a deficiency?
Individuals with a poor quality diet or an inadequate B6 intake for an extended period may benefit from taking a vitamin B6 supplement if they are unable to increase their dietary intake of vitamin B6 [1,15]. Alcoholics and older adults are more likely to have inadequate vitamin B6 intakes than other segments of the population because they may have limited variety in their diet. Alcohol also promotes the destruction and loss of vitamin B6 from the body.

Asthmatic children treated with the medicine theophylline may need to take a vitamin B6 supplement [16]. Theophylline decreases body stores of vitamin B6 [17], and theophylline-induced seizures have been linked to low body stores of the vitamin. A physician should be consulted about the need for a vitamin B6 supplement when theophylline is prescribed.


 


What are some current issues and controversies about vitamin B6?

Vitamin B6 and the nervous system
Vitamin B6 is needed for the synthesis of neurotransmitters such as serotonin and dopamine [1]. These neurotransmitters are required for normal nerve cell communication. Researchers have been investigating the relationship between vitamin B6 status and a wide variety of neurologic conditions such as seizures, chronic pain, depression, headache, and Parkinson's disease [18].

Lower levels of serotonin have been found in individuals suffering from depression and migraine headaches. So far, however, vitamin B6 supplements have not proved effective for relieving these symptoms. One study found that a sugar pill was just as likely as vitamin B6 to relieve headaches and depression associated with low dose oral contraceptives [19].

Alcohol abuse can result in neuropathy, abnormal nerve sensations in the arms and legs [20]. A poor dietary intake contributes to this neuropathy and dietary supplements that include vitamin B6 may prevent or decrease its incidence [18].

Vitamin B6 and carpal tunnel syndrome
Vitamin B6 was first recommended for carpal tunnel syndrome almost 30 years ago [21]. Several popular books still recommend taking 100 to 200 milligrams (mg) of vitamin B6 daily to treat carpal tunnel syndrome, even though scientific studies do not indicate it is effective. Anyone taking large doses of vitamin B6 supplements for carpal tunnel syndrome needs to be aware that the Institute of Medicine recently established an upper tolerable limit of 100 mg per day for adults [12]. There are documented cases in the literature of neuropathy caused by excessive vitamin B6 taken for treatment of carpal tunnel syndrome [22].

Vitamin B6 and premenstrual syndrome
Vitamin B6 has become a popular remedy for treating the discomforts associated with premenstrual syndrome (PMS). Unfortunately, clinical trials have failed to support any significant benefit [23]. One recent study indicated that a sugar pill was as likely to relieve symptoms of PMS as vitamin B6 [24]. In addition, vitamin B6 toxicity has been seen in increasing numbers of women taking vitamin B6 supplements for PMS. One review indicated that neuropathy was present in 23 of 58 women taking daily vitamin B6 supplements for PMS whose blood levels of B6 were above normal [25]. There is no convincing scientific evidence to support recommending vitamin B6 supplements for PMS.

Vitamin B6 and interactions with medications
There are many drugs that interfere with the metabolism of vitamin B6. Isoniazid, which is used to treat tuberculosis, and L-DOPA, which is used to treat a variety of neurologic problems such as Parkinson's disease, alter the activity of vitamin B6. There is disagreement about the need for routine vitamin B6 supplementation when taking isoniazid [26,27]. Acute isoniazid toxicity can result in coma and seizures that are reversed by vitamin B6, but in a group of children receiving isoniazid, no cases of neurological or neuropsychiatric problems were observed regardless of whether or not they took a vitamin B6 supplement. Some doctors recommend taking a supplement that provides 100% of the RDA for B6 when isoniazid is prescribed, which is usually enough to prevent symptoms of vitamin B6 deficiency. It is important to consult with a physician about the need for a vitamin B6 supplement when taking isoniazid.

References


What is the relationship between vitamin B6, homocysteine, and heart disease?

A deficiency of vitamin B6, folic acid, or vitamin B12 may increase your level of homocysteine, an amino acid normally found in your blood [28]. There is evidence that an elevated homocysteine level is an independent risk factor for heart disease and stroke [29-37]. The evidence suggests that high levels of homocysteine may damage coronary arteries or make it easier for blood clotting cells called platelets to clump together and form a clot. However, there is currently no evidence available to suggest that lowering homocysteine level with vitamins will reduce your risk of heart disease. Clinical intervention trials are needed to determine whether supplementation with vitamin B6, folic acid, or vitamin B12 can help protect you against developing coronary heart disease.

What is the health risk of too much vitamin B6?

Too much vitamin B6 can result in nerve damage to the arms and legs. This neuropathy is usually related to high intake of vitamin B6 from supplements, [28] and is reversible when supplementation is stopped. According to the Institute of Medicine, "Several reports show sensory neuropathy at doses lower than 500 mg per day" [12]. As previously mentioned, the Food and Nutrition Board of the Institute of Medicine has established an upper tolerable intake level (UL) for vitamin B6 of 100 mg per day for all adults [12]. "As intake increases above the UL, the risk of adverse effects increases [12]."


 


Selected Food Sources of vitamin B6

As the 2000 Dietary Guidelines for Americans states, "Different foods contain different nutrients and other healthful substances. No single food can supply all the nutrients in the amounts you need" [38]. As the following table indicates, vitamin B6 is found in a wide variety of foods. Foods such as fortified breakfast cereals, fish including salmon and tuna fish, meats such as pork and chicken, bananas, beans and peanut butter, and many vegetables will contribute to your vitamin B6 intake. If you want more information about building a healthful diet, refer to the Dietary Guidelines for Americans and the Food Guide Pyramid.

Table of Food Sources of Vitamin B6 [11]

FoodMilligrams (mg) per serving% DV*
Ready-to-eat cereal, 100% fortified, ¾ c 2.00 100
Potato, Baked, flesh and skin, 1 medium 0.70 35
Banana, raw, 1 medium 0.68 34
Garbanzo beans, canned, ½ c 0.57 30
Chicken breast, meat only, cooked, ½ breast 0.52 25
Ready-to-eat cereal, 25% fortified, ¾ c 0.50 25
Oatmeal, instant, fortified, 1 packet 0.42 20
Pork loin, lean only, cooked, 3 oz 0.42 20
Roast beef, eye of round, lean only, cooked, 3 oz 0.32 15
Trout, rainbow, cooked, 3 oz 0.29 15
Sunflower seeds, kernels, dry roasted, 1 oz 0.23 10
Spinach, frozen, cooked, ½ c 0.14 8
Tomato juice, canned, 6 oz 0.20 10
Avocado, raw, sliced, ½ cup 0.20 10
Salmon, Sockeye, cooked, 3 oz 0.19 10
Tuna, canned in water, drained solids, 3 oz 0.18 10
Wheat bran, crude or unprocessed, ¼ c 0.18 10
Peanut butter, smooth, 2 Tbs. 0.15 8
Walnuts, English/Persian, 1 oz 0.15 8
Soybeans, green, boiled, drained, ½ c 0.05 2
Lima beans, frozen, cooked, drained, ½ c 0.10 6
* DV = Daily Value. DVs are reference numbers based on the Recommended Dietary Allowance (RDA). They were developed to help consumers determine if a food contains a lot or a little of a specific nutrient. The DV for vitamin B6 is 2.0 milligrams (mg). The percent DV (%DV) listed on the nutrition facts panel of food labels tells you what percentage of the DV is provided in one serving. Percent DVs are based on a 2,000 calorie diet. Your Daily Values may be higher or lower depending on your calorie needs. Foods that provide lower percentages of the DV also contribute to a healthful diet.

Source: Office of Dietary Supplements, National Institutes of Health

References

back to: Alternative Medicine Home ~ Alternative Medicine Treatments


References

    1. Leklem JE. Vitamin B6. In: Shils ME, Olson JA, Shike M, Ross AC, ed. Modern Nutrition in Health and Disease. 9th ed. Baltimore: Williams and Wilkins, 1999: 413-421.
    2. Bender DA. Vitamin B6 requirements and recommendations. Eur J Clin Nutr 1989 ;43:289-309. [PubMed abstract]
    3. Gerster H. The importance of vitamin B6 for development of the infant. Human medical and animal experiment studies. Z Ernahrungswiss 1996; 35:309-17. [PubMed abstract]
    4. Bender DA. Novel functions of vitamin B6. Proc Nutr Soc 1994; 53:625-30. [PubMed abstract]
    5. Chandra R and Sudhakaran L. Regulation of immune responses by Vitamin B6. NY Acad Sci 1990; 585:404-423. [PubMed abstract]
    6. Trakatellis A, Dimitriadou A, Trakatelli M. Pyridoxine deficiency: New approaches in immunosuppression and chemotherapy. Postgrad Med J 1997; 73:617-22. [PubMed abstract]
    7. Shibata K, Mushiage M, Kondo T, Hayakawa T, Tsuge H. Effects of vitamin B6 deficiency on the conversion ratio of tryptophan to niacin. Biosci Biotechnol Biochem 1995; 59:2060-3. [PubMed abstract]
    8. Leyland DM and Beynon RJ. The expression of glycogen phosphorylase in normal and dystrophic muscle. Biochem J 1991; 278:113-7. [PubMed abstract]
    9. Oka T, Komori N, Kuwahata M, Suzuki I, Okada M, Natori Y. Effect of vitamin B6 deficiency on the expression of glycogen phosphorylase mRNA in rat liver and skeletal muscle. Experientia 1994; 50:127-9. [PubMed abstract]
    10. Okada M, Ishikawa K, Watanabe K. Effect of vitamin B6 deficiency on glycogen metabolism in the skeletal muscle, heart, and liver of rats. J Nutr Sci Vitaminol (Tokyo) 1991; 37:349-57. [PubMed abstract]

 


  1. U.S. Department of Agriculture, Agricultural Research Service,1999. USDA Nutrient Database for Standard Reference, Release 13. Nutrient Data Lab Home Page, http://www.nal.usda.gov/fnic/foodcomp
  2. Institute of Medicine. Food and Nutrition Board. Dietary Reference Intakes: Thiamin, riboflavin, niacin, vitamin B6, folate, vitamin B12, pantothenic acid, biotin, and choline. National Academy Press. Washington, DC, 1998.
  3. Alaimo K, McDowell M, Briefel R, Bischof A, Caughman C, Loria C, and Johnson C. Dietary intake of vitamins, minerals, and fiber of persons ages 2 months and over in the United States: Third National Health and Nutrition Examination survey, Phase 1, 1988-91. Hyattsville, MD: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services; Center for Disease Control and Prevention; National Center for Health Statistics, 1994:1-28.
  4. Combs G. The Vitamins: Fundamental aspects in nutrition and health. San Diego, California: Academic Press, Inc., 1992; 311-328.
  5. Lumeng L, Li TK. Vitamin B6 metabolism in chronic alcohol abuse. Pyridoxal phosphate levels in plasma and the effects of acetaldehyde on pyridoxal phosphate synthesis and degradation in human erythrocytes. J Clin Invest 1974; 53:693-704. [PubMed abstract]
  6. Weir MR, Keniston RC, Enriquez JI, McNamee GA. Depression of vitamin B6 levels due to theophylline. Ann Allergy 1990; 65:59-62. [PubMed abstract]
  7. Shimizu T, Maeda S, Mochizuki H, Tokuyama K, Morikawa A. Theophylline attenuates circulating vitamin B6 levels in children with asthma. Pharmacology 1994; 49:392-7. [PubMed abstract]
  8. Bernstein AL. Vitamin B6 in clinical neurology. Ann N Y Acad Sci 1990;585:250-60. [PubMed abstract]
  9. Villegas-Salas E, Ponce de Leon R, Juarez-Perez MA, Grubb GS. Effect of vitamin B6 on the side effects of a low-dose combined oral contraceptive. Contraception 1997; 55:245-8. [PubMed abstract]
  10. Vinik AI. Diabetic neuropathy: pathogenesis and therapy. Am J Med 1999; 107:17S-26S. [PubMed abstract]
  11. Copeland DA and Stoukides CA. Pyridoxine in carpal tunnel syndrome. Ann Pharmacother 1994; 28:1042-4. [PubMed abstract]
  12. Foca FJ. Motor and sensory neuropathy secondary to excessive pyridoxine ingestion. Arch Phys Med Rehabil 1985; 66:634-6. [PubMed abstract]
  13. Johnson SR. Premenstrual syndrome therapy. Clin Obstet Gynecol 1998; 41:405-21. [PubMed abstract]
  14. Diegoli MS, da Fonseca AM, Diegoli CA, Pinotti JA. A double-blind trial of four medications to treat severe premenstrual syndrome. Int J Gynaecol Obstet 1998; 62:63-7. [PubMed abstract]
  15. Dalton K. Pyridoxine overdose in premenstrual syndrome. Lancet 1985; 1, May 18:1168. [PubMed abstract]
  16. Brown A, Mallet M, Fiser D, Arnold WC. Acute isoniazid intoxication: Reversal of CNS symptoms with large doses of pyridoxine. Pediatr Pharmacol 1984; 4:199-202. [PubMed abstract]
  17. Brent J, Vo N, Kulig K, Rumack BH. Reversal of prolonged isoniazid-induced coma by pyridoxine. Arch Intern Med 1990; 150:1751-1753 [PubMed abstract]
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  19. Rimm EB, Willett WC, Hu FB, Sampson L, Colditz GA, Manson JE, Hennekens C, Stampfer MJ. Folate and vitamin B6 from diet and supplements in relation to risk of coronary heart disease among women. J Am Med Assoc 1998; 279:359-64. [PubMed abstract]
  20. Refsum H, Ueland PM, Nygard O, Vollset SE. Homocysteine and cardiovascular disease. Annu Rev Med 1998; 49:31-62. [PubMed abstract]
  21. 31 Boers GH. Hyperhomocysteinaemia: A newly recognized risk factor for vascular disease. Neth J Med 1994; 45:34-41. [PubMed abstract]
  22. Selhub J, Jacques PF, Wilson PF, Rush D, Rosenberg IH. Vitamin status and intake as primary determinants of homocysteinemia in an elderly population. J Am Med Assoc 1993; 270:2693-2698. [PubMed abstract]
  23. Malinow MR. Plasma homocyst(e)ine and arterial occlusive diseases: A mini-review. Clin Chem 1995; 41:173-6. [PubMed abstract]
  24. Flynn MA, Herbert V, Nolph GB, Krause G. Atherogenesis and the homocysteine-folate-cobalamin triad: Do we need standardized analyses? J Am Coll Nutr 1997; 16:258-67. [PubMed abstract]
  25. Fortin LJ, Genest J, Jr. Measurement of homocyst(e)ine in the prediction of arteriosclerosis. Clin Biochem 1995; 28:155-62. [PubMed abstract]
  26. Siri PW, Verhoef P, Kok FJ. Vitamins B6, B12, and folate: Association with plasma total homocysteine and risk of coronary atherosclerosis. J Am Coll Nutr 1998; 17:435-41. [PubMed abstract]
  27. Ubbink JB, van der Merwe A, Delport R, Allen RH, Stabler SP, Riezler R, Vermaak WJ. The effect of a subnormal vitamin B-6 status on homocysteine metabolism. J Clin Invest 1996; 98:177-84. [PubMed abstract]
  28. Dietary Guidelines Advisory Committee, Agricultural Research Service, United States Department of Agriculture (USDA). Report of the Dietary Guidelines Advisory Committee on the Dietary Guidelines for Americans, 2000. http://www.ars.usda.gov/is/pr/2000/000218.b.htm

Disclaimer

Reasonable care has been taken in preparing this document and the information provided herein is believed to be accurate. However, this information is not intended to constitute an "authoritative statement" under Food and Drug Administration rules and regulations.

General Safety Advisory

Health professionals and consumers need credible information to make thoughtful decisions about eating a healthful diet and using vitamin and mineral supplements. To help guide those decisions, registered dietitians at the NIH Clinical Center developed a series of Fact Sheets in conjunction with ODS. These Fact Sheets provide responsible information about the role of vitamins and minerals in health and disease. Each Fact Sheet in this series received extensive review by recognized experts from the academic and research communities.

The information is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice. It is important to seek the advice of a physician about any medical condition or symptom. It is also important to seek the advice of a physician, registered dietitian, pharmacist, or other qualified health professional about the appropriateness of taking dietary supplements and their potential interactions with medications.

back to: Alternative Medicine Home ~ Alternative Medicine Treatments

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, November 20). Vitamin B6, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, October 4 from https://www.healthyplace.com/alternative-mental-health/treatments/vitamin-b6

Last Updated: July 8, 2016

Valerian Root

Detailed information on valerian root to treat insomnia and sleep disorders. Learn more about herbal dietary supplement Valerian.

Detailed information on valerian root to treat insomnia and sleep disorders, including side-effects of valerian.

Questions and Answers About Valerian for Insomnia and Other Sleep Disorders

Table of Contents

Key points

This fact sheet provides an overview of the use of valerian for insomnia and other sleep disorders and contains the following key information:

  • Valerian is an herb sold as a dietary supplement in the United States.

  • Valerian is a common ingredient in products promoted as mild sedatives and sleep aids for nervous tension and insomnia.

  • Evidence from clinical studies of the efficacy of valerian in treating sleep disorders such as insomnia is inconclusive.

  • Constituents of valerian have been shown to have sedative effects in animals, but there is no scientific agreement on valerian's mechanisms of action.

  • Although few adverse events have been reported, long-term safety data are not available.


 


What is valerian?

Valerian (Valeriana officinalis), a member of the Valerianaceae family, is a perennial plant native to Europe and Asia and naturalized in North America [1]. It has a distinctive odor that many find unpleasant [2,3]. Other names include setwall (English), Valerianae radix (Latin), Baldrianwurzel (German), and phu (Greek). The genus Valerian includes over 250 species, but V. officinalis is the species most often used in the United States and Europe and is the only species discussed in this fact sheet [3,4].

What are common valerian preparations?

Preparations of valerian marketed as dietary supplements are made from its roots, rhizomes (underground stems), and stolons (horizontal stems). Dried roots are prepared as teas or tinctures, and dried plant materials and extracts are put into capsules or incorporated into tablets [5].

There is no scientific agreement as to the active constituents of valerian, and its activity may result from interactions among multiple constituents rather than any one compound or class of compounds [6]. The content of volatile oils, including valerenic acids; the less volatile sesquiterpenes; or the valepotriates (esters of short-chain fatty acids) is sometimes used to standardize valerian extracts. As with most herbal preparations, many other compounds are also present.

Valerian is sometimes combined with other botanicals [5]. Because this fact sheet focuses on valerian as a single ingredient, only clinical studies evaluating valerian as a single agent are included.

What are the historical uses of valerian?

Valerian has been used as a medicinal herb since at least the time of ancient Greece and Rome. Its therapeutic uses were described by Hippocrates, and in the 2nd century, Galen prescribed valerian for insomnia [5,7]. In the 16th century, it was used to treat nervousness, trembling, headaches, and heart palpitations [8]. In the mid-19th century, valerian was considered a stimulant that caused some of the same complaints it is thought to treat and was generally held in low esteem as a medicinal herb [2]. During World War II, it was used in England to relieve the stress of air raids [9].

In addition to sleep disorders, valerian has been used for gastrointestinal spasms and distress, epileptic seizures, and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. However, scientific evidence is not sufficient to support the use of valerian for these conditions [10].

References


What clinical studies have been done on valerian and sleep disorders?

In a systematic review of the scientific literature, nine randomized, placebo-controlled, double-blind clinical trials of valerian and sleep disorders were identified and evaluated for evidence of efficacy of valerian as a treatment for insomnia [11]. Reviewers rated the studies with a standard scoring system to quantify the likelihood of bias inherent in the study design [12]. Although all nine trials had flaws, three earned the highest rating (5 on a scale of 1 to 5) and are described below. Unlike the six lower-rated studies, these three studies described the randomization procedure and blinding method that were used and reported rates of participant withdrawal.

The first study used a repeated-measures design; 128 volunteers were given 400 mg of an aqueous extract of valerian, a commercial preparation containing 60 mg valerian and 30 mg hops, and a placebo [13]. Participants took each one of the three preparations three times in random order on nine nonconsecutive nights and filled out a questionnaire the morning after each treatment. Compared with the placebo, the valerian extract resulted in a statistically significant subjective improvement in time required to fall asleep (more or less difficult than usual), sleep quality (better or worse than usual), and number of nighttime awakenings (more or less than usual). This result was more pronounced in a subgroup of 61 participants who identified themselves as poor sleepers on a questionnaire administered at the beginning of the study. The commercial preparation did not produce a statistically significant improvement in these three measures. The clinical significance of the use of valerian for insomnia cannot be determined from the results of this study because having insomnia was not a requirement for participation. In addition, the study had a participant withdrawal rate of 22.9%, which may have influenced the results.


 


In the second study, eight volunteers with mild insomnia (usually had problems falling asleep) were evaluated for the effect of valerian on sleep latency (defined as the first 5-minute period without movement) [14]. Results were based on nighttime motion measured by activity meters worn on the wrist and on responses to questionnaires about sleep quality, latency, depth, and morning sleepiness filled out the morning after each treatment. The test samples were 450 or 900 mg of an aqueous valerian extract and a placebo. Each volunteer was randomly assigned to receive one test sample each night, Monday through Thursday, for 3 weeks for a total of 12 nights of evaluation. The 450-mg test sample of valerian extract reduced average sleep latency from about 16 to 9 minutes, which is similar to the activity of prescription benzodiazepine medication (used as a sedative or tranquilizer). No statistically significant shortening of sleep latency was seen with the 900-mg test sample. Evaluation of the questionnaires showed a statistically significant improvement in subjectively measured sleep. On a 9-point scale, participants rated sleep latency as 4.3 after the 450-mg test sample and 4.9 after the placebo. The 900-mg test sample increased the sleep improvement but participants noted an increase in sleepiness the next morning. Although statistically significant, this 7-minute reduction in sleep latency and the improvement in subjective sleep rating are probably not clinically significant. The small sample size makes it difficult to generalize the results to a broader population.

The third study examined longer-term effects in 121 participants with documented nonorganic insomnia [15]. Participants received either 600 mg of a standardized commercial preparation of dried valerian root (LI 156, Sedonium®*) or placebo for 28 days. Several assessment tools were used to evaluate the effectiveness and tolerance of the interventions, including questionnaires on therapeutic effect (given on days 14 and 28), change in sleep patterns (given on day 28), and changes in sleep quality and well-being (given on days 0, 14, and 28). After 28 days, the group receiving the valerian extract showed a decrease in insomnia symptoms on all the assessment tools compared with the placebo group. The differences in improvement between valerian and placebo increased between the assessments done on days 14 and 28.

(*The mention of a specific brand name is not an endorsement of the product.)

The reviewers concluded that these nine studies are not sufficient for determining the effectiveness of valerian to treat sleep disorders [11]. For example, none of the studies checked the success of the blinding, none calculated the sample size necessary for seeing a statistical effect, only one partially controlled prebedtime variables [15], and only one validated outcome measures [13].

Two other randomized, controlled trials published after the systematic review described above [11] are presented below.

In a randomized, double-blind study, 75 participants with documented nonorganic insomnia were randomly assigned to receive 600 mg of a standardized commercial valerian extract (LI 156) or 10 mg oxazepam (a benzodiazepine medication) for 28 days [16]. Assessment tools used to evaluate the effectiveness and tolerance of the interventions included validated sleep, mood scale, and anxiety questionnaires as well as sleep rating by a physician (on days 0, 14, and 28). Treatment result was determined via a 4-step rating scale at the end of the study (day 28). Both groups had the same improvement in sleep quality but the valerian group reported fewer side effects than did the oxazepam group. However, this study was designed to show superiority, if any, of valerian over oxazepam and its results cannot be used to show equivalence.

References


In a randomized, double-blind, placebo-controlled crossover study, researchers evaluated sleep parameters with polysomnographic techniques that monitored sleep stages, sleep latency, and total sleep time to objectively measure sleep quality and stages [17]. Questionnaires were used for subjective measurement of sleep parameters. Sixteen participants with medically documented nonorganic insomnia were randomly assigned to receive either a single dose and a 14-day administration of 600 mg of a standardized commercial preparation of valerian (LI 156) or placebo. Valerian had no effect on any of the 15 objective or subjective measurements except for a decrease in slow-wave sleep onset (13.5 minutes) compared with placebo (21.3 minutes). During slow-wave sleep, arousability, skeletal muscle tone, heart rate, blood pressure, and respiratory frequency decreased. Increased time spent in slow-wave sleep may decrease insomnia symptoms. However, because all but 1 of the 15 endpoints showed no difference between placebo and valerian, the possibility that the single endpoint showing a difference was the result of chance must be considered. The valerian group reported fewer adverse events than did the placebo group.

Although the results of some studies suggest that valerian may be useful for insomnia and other sleep disorders, results of other studies do not. Interpretation of these studies is complicated by the fact the studies had small sample sizes, used different amounts and sources of valerian, measured different outcomes, or did not consider potential bias resulting from high participant withdrawal rates. Overall, the evidence from these trials for the sleep-promoting effects of valerian is inconclusive.

How does valerian work?

Many chemical constituents of valerian have been identified, but it is not known which may be responsible for its sleep-promoting effects in animals and in in vitro studies. It is likely that there is no single active compound and that valerian's effects result from multiple constituents acting independently or synergistically [18,reviewed in 19].


 


Two categories of constituents have been proposed as the major source of valerian's sedative effects. The first category comprises the major constituents of its volatile oil including valerenic acid and its derivatives, which have demonstrated sedative properties in animal models [6,20]. However, valerian extracts with very little of these components also have sedative properties, making it probable that other components are responsible for these effects or that multiple constituents contribute to them [21]. The second category comprises the iridoids, which include the valepotriates. Valepotriates and their derivatives are active as sedatives in vivo but are unstable and break down during storage or in an aqueous environment, making their activity difficult to assess [6,20,22].

A possible mechanism by which a valerian extract may cause sedation is by increasing the amount of gamma aminobutyric acid (GABA, an inhibitory neurotransmitter) available in the synaptic cleft. Results from an in vitro study using synaptosomes suggest that a valerian extract may cause GABA release from and block GABA reuptake into brain nerve endings [23]. In addition, valerenic acid inhibits an enzyme that destroys GABA [reviewed in 24]. Valerian extracts contain GABA in quantities sufficient to cause a sedative effect, but whether GABA can cross the blood-brain barrier to contribute to valerian's sedative effects is not known. Glutamine is present in aqueous but not in alcohol extracts and may cross the blood-brain barrier and be converted to GABA [25]. Levels of these constituents vary significantly among plants depending on when the plants are harvested, resulting in marked variability in the amounts found in valerian preparations [26].

What is the regulatory status of valerian in the United States?

In the United States, valerian is sold as a dietary supplement, and dietary supplements are regulated as foods, not drugs. Therefore, premarket evaluation and approval by the Food and Drug Administration are not required unless claims are made for specific disease prevention or treatment. Because dietary supplements are not always tested for manufacturing consistency, the composition may vary considerably between manufacturing lots.

Can valerian be harmful?

Few adverse events attributable to valerian have been reported for clinical study participants. Headaches, dizziness, pruritus, and gastrointestinal disturbances are the most common effects reported in clinical trials but similar effects were also reported for the placebo [14-17]. In one study an increase in sleepiness was noted the morning after 900 mg of valerian was taken [14]. Investigators from another study concluded that 600 mg of valerian (LI 156) did not have a clinically significant effect on reaction time, alertness, and concentration the morning after ingestion [27]. Several case reports described adverse effects, but in one case where suicide was attempted with a massive overdose it is not possible to clearly attribute the symptoms to valerian [28-31].

Valepotriates, which are a component of valerian but are not necessarily present in commercial preparations, had cytotoxic activity in vitro but were not carcinogenic in animal studies [32-35].

References


Who should not take valerian?

Women who are pregnant or nursing should not take valerian without medical advice because the possible risks to the fetus or infant have not been evaluated [36]. Children under age 3 years should not take valerian because the possible risks to children of this age have not been evaluated [36]. Individuals taking valerian should be aware of the theoretical possibility of additive sedative effects from alcohol or sedative drugs, such as barbiturates and benzodiazepines [10,37,38].

Does valerian interact with any drugs or affect laboratory tests?

Although valerian has not been reported to interact with any drugs or to influence laboratory tests, this has not been rigorously studied [5,10,36].

What are some additional sources of scientific information on valerian?

Medical libraries are a source of information about medicinal herbs. Other sources include Web-based resources such as PubMed available at http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?holding=nih.

For general information on botanicals and their use as dietary supplements, please see Background Information About Botanical Dietary Supplements (http://ods.od.nih.gov/factsheets/botanicalbackground.asp) and General Background Information About Dietary Supplements (http://ods.od.nih.gov/factsheets/dietarysupplements.asp), from the Office of Dietary Supplements (ODS).

Disclaimer

The mention of a specific brand name is not an endorsement of the product. Reasonable care has been taken in preparing this fact sheet and the information provided herein is believed to be accurate. However, this information is not intended to constitute an "authoritative statement" under Food and Drug Administration rules and regulations.


 


General Safety Advisory

The information in this document does not replace medical advice. Before taking an herb or a botanical, consult a doctor or other health care provider-especially if you have a disease or medical condition, take any medications, are pregnant or nursing, or are planning to have an operation. Before treating a child with an herb or a botanical, consult with a doctor or other health care provider. Like drugs, herbal or botanical preparations have chemical and biological activity. They may have side effects. They may interact with certain medications. These interactions can cause problems and can even be dangerous. If you have any unexpected reactions to an herbal or a botanical preparation, inform your doctor or other health care provider.

Source: Office of Dietary Supplements - National Institutes of Health

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References

  1. Wichtl M, ed.: Valerianae radix. In: Bisset NG, trans-ed. Herbal Drugs and Phytopharmaceuticals: A Handbook for Practice on a Scientific Basis. Boca Raton, FL: CRC Press, 1994: 513-516.
  2. Pereira J: Valeriana officinalis: common valerian. In: Carson J, ed. The Elements of Materia Medica and Therapeutics. 3rd ed. Philadelphia: Blanchard and Lea, 1854: 609-616.
  3. Schulz V, Hansel R, Tyler VE: Valerian. In: Rational Phytotherapy. 3rd ed. Berlin: Springer, 1998: 73-81.
  4. Davidson JRT, Connor KM: Valerian. In: Herbs for the Mind: Depression, Stress, Memory Loss, and Insomnia. New York: Guilford Press, 2000: 214-233.
  5. Blumenthal M, Goldberg A, Brinckmann J, eds.: Valerian root. In: Herbal Medicine: Expanded Commission E Monographs. Newton, MA: Integrative Medicine Communications, 2000: 394-400.
  6. Hendriks H, Bos R, Allersma DP, Malingre M, Koster AS: Pharmacological screening of valerenal and some other components of essential oil of Valeriana officinalis. Planta Medica 42: 62-68, 1981 [PubMed abstract]
  7. Turner W: Of Valerianae. In: Chapman GTL, McCombie F, Wesencraft A, eds. A New Herbal, Parts II and III. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1995: 464-466, 499-500, 764-765. [Republication of parts II and III of A New Herbal, by William Turner, originally published in 1562 and 1568, respectively.]
  8. Culpeper N: Garden valerian. In: Culpeper's Complete Herbal. New York: W. Foulsham, 1994: 295-297. [Republication of The English Physitian, by Nicholas Culpeper, originally published in 1652.]
  9. Grieve M: Valerian. In: A Modern Herbal. New York: Hafner Press, 1974: 824-830.
  10. Jellin JM, Gregory P, Batz F, et al.: Valerian In: Pharmacist's Letter/Prescriber's Letter Natural Medicines Comprehensive Database. 3rd ed. Stockton, CA: Therapeutic Research Faculty, 2000: 1052-1054.
  11. Stevinson C, Ernst E: Valerian for insomnia: a systematic review of randomized clinical trials. Sleep Medicine 1: 91-99, 2000. [PubMed abstract]
  12. Jadad AR, Moore RA, Carroll D, et al.: Assessing the quality of reports of randomized clinical trials: is blinding necessary? Controlled Clinical Trials 17: 1-12, 1996. [PubMed abstract]
  13. Leathwood PD, Chauffard F, Heck E, Munoz-Box R: Aqueous extract of valerian root (Valeriana officinalis L.) improves sleep quality in man. Pharmacology, Biochemistry and Behavior 17: 65-71, 1982. [PubMed abstract]
  14. Leathwood PD, Chauffard F: Aqueous extract of valerian reduces latency to fall asleep in man. Planta Medica 2: 144-148, 1985. [PubMed abstract]
  15. Vorback EU, Gortelmeyer R, Bruning J: Treatment of insomnia: effectiveness and tolerance of a valerian extract [in German]. Psychopharmakotherapie 3: 109-115, 1996.
  16. Dorn M: Valerian versus oxazepam: efficacy and tolerability in nonorganic and nonpsychiatric insomniacs: a randomized, double-blind, clinical comparative study [in German]. Forschende Komplementärmedizin und Klassische Naturheilkunde 7: 79-84, 2000. [PubMed abstract]
  17. Donath F, Quispe S, Diefenbach K, Maurer A, Fietze I, Roots I: Critical evaluation of the effect of valerian extract on sleep structure and sleep quality. Pharmacopsychiatry 33: 47-53, 2000. [PubMed abstract]
  18. Russo EB: Valerian. In: Handbook of Psychotropic Herbs: A Scientific Analysis of Herbal Remedies in Psychiatric Conditions. Binghamton, NY: Haworth Press, 2001: 95-106.
  19. Houghton PJ: The scientific basis for the reputed activity of valerian. Journal of Pharmacy and Pharmacology 51: 505-512, 1999.
  20. Hendriks H, Bos R, Woerdenbag HJ, Koster AS. Central nervous depressant activity of valerenic acid in the mouse. Planta Medica 1: 28-31, 1985. [PubMed abstract]
  21. Krieglstein VJ, Grusla D. Central depressing components in Valerian: Valeportriates, valeric acid, valerone, and essential oil are inactive, however [in German]. Deutsche Apotheker Zeitung 128:2041-2046, 1988.
  22. Bos R, Woerdenbag HJ, Hendriks H, et al.: Analytical aspects of phytotherapeutic valerian preparations. Phytochemical Analysis 7: 143-151, 1996.
  23. Santos MS, Ferreira F, Cunha AP, Carvalho AP, Macedo T: An aqueous extract of valerian influences the transport of GABA in synaptosomes. Planta Medica 60: 278-279, 1994. [PubMed abstract]
  24. Morazzoni P, Bombardelli E: Valeriana officinalis: traditional use and recent evaluation of activity. Fitoterapia 66: 99-112, 1995.
  25. Cavadas C, Araujo I, Cotrim MD, et al.: In vitro study on the interaction of Valeriana officinalis L. extracts and their amino acids on GABAA receptor in rat brain. Arzneimittel-Forschung Drug Research 45: 753-755, 1995. [PubMed abstract]
  26. Bos R, Woerdenbag HJ, van Putten FMS, Hendriks H, Scheffer JJC: Seasonal variation of the essential oil, valerenic acid and derivatives, and valepotriates in Valeriana officinalis roots and rhizomes, and the selection of plants suitable for phytomedicines. Planta Medica 64:143-147, 1998. [PubMed abstract]
  27. Kuhlmann J, Berger W, Podzuweit H, Schmidt U: The influence of valerian treatment on "reaction time, alertness and concentration" in volunteers. Pharmacopsychiatry 32: 235-241, 1999. [PubMed abstract]
  28. MacGregor FB, Abernethy VE, Dahabra S, Cobden I, Hayes PC: Hepatotoxicity of herbal remedies. British Medical Journal 299: 1156-1157, 1989. [PubMed abstract]
  29. Mullins ME, Horowitz BZ: The case of the salad shooters: intravenous injection of wild lettuce extract. Veterinary and Human Toxicology 40: 290-291, 1998. [PubMed abstract]
  30. Garges HP, Varia I, Doraiswamy PM: Cardiac complications and delirium associated with valerian root withdrawal. Journal of the American Medical Association 280: 1566-1567, 1998. [PubMed abstract]
  31. Willey LB, Mady SP, Cobaugh DJ, Wax PM: Valerian overdose: a case report. Veterinary and Human Toxicology 37: 364-365, 1995. [PubMed abstract]
  32. Bounthanh, C, Bergmann C, Beck JP, Haag-Berrurier M, Anton R. Valepotriates, a new class of cytotoxic and antitumor agents. Planta Medica 41: 21-28, 1981. [PubMed abstract]
  33. Bounthanh, C, Richert L, Beck JP, Haag-Berrurier M, Anton R: The action of valepotriates on the synthesis of DNA and proteins of cultured hepatoma cells. Journal of Medicinal Plant Research 49: 138-142, 1983. [PubMed abstract]
  34. Tufik S, Fuhita K, Seabra ML, Lobo LL: Effects of a prolonged administration of valepotriates in rats on the mothers and their offspring. Journal of Ethnopharmacology 41: 39-44, 1996. [PubMed abstract]
  35. Bos R, Hendriks H, Scheffer JJC, Woerdenbag HJ: Cytotoxic potential of valerian constituents and valerian tinctures. Phytomedicine 5: 219-225, 1998.
  36. European Scientific Cooperative on Phytotherapy: Valerianae radix: valerian root. In: Monographs on the Medicinal Uses of Plant Drugs. Exeter, UK: ESCOP, 1997: 1-10.
  37. Rotblatt M, Ziment I. Valerian (Valeriana officinalis). In: Evidence-Based Herbal Medicine. Philadelphia: Hanley & Belfus, Inc., 2002: 355-359.
  38. Givens M, Cupp MJ: Valerian. In: Cupps MJ, ed. Toxicology and Clinical Pharmacology of Herbal Products. Totowa, NJ: Humana Press, 2000: 53-66.

Disclaimer

The mention of a specific brand name is not an endorsement of the product. Reasonable care has been taken in preparing this fact sheet and the information provided herein is believed to be accurate. However, this information is not intended to constitute an "authoritative statement" under Food and Drug Administration rules and regulations.

General Safety Advisory

The information in this document does not replace medical advice. Before taking an herb or a botanical, consult a doctor or other health care provider-especially if you have a disease or medical condition, take any medications, are pregnant or nursing, or are planning to have an operation. Before treating a child with an herb or a botanical, consult with a doctor or other health care provider. Like drugs, herbal or botanical preparations have chemical and biological activity. They may have side effects. They may interact with certain medications. These interactions can cause problems and can even be dangerous. If you have any unexpected reactions to an herbal or a botanical preparation, inform your doctor or other health care provider.

 


 


back to: Alternative Medicine Home ~ Alternative Medicine Treatments

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, November 20). Valerian Root, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, October 4 from https://www.healthyplace.com/alternative-mental-health/treatments/valerian-root

Last Updated: July 8, 2016

Never Intentionally Say Hurtful Words to Your Partner

If I Had Only Known

If I had only known it would be our last walk in the rain,
I'd keep you out for hours in the storm.
I would hold your hand like a lifeline to my heart,
and underneath the sun we'd be warm.
If I had only known it was our last walk in the rain.

If I had only known I'd never hear your voice again,
I'd memorize each thing you ever said.
And on those lonely nights, I could think of them once more,
And keep your words alive inside my head,
If I had only known, I'd never hear your voice again.

~Lyrics © by Jana Stanfield

What if you knew this would be the last day you would spend with your partner; the last time you would ever talk to them? Would you say the following?

  • "You just don't care about the house. I'm the only one who does. You 'never' do anything to help!"
  • "What a klutz."
  • "It's no wonder you got a divorce. I'd like to talk to your ex!"
  • "Go to hell!"
  • "How could you do that after all I've we've been through?"
  • "(Bleep) you!"
  • "You disgust me; just shut up."
  • "What a slob!"
  • "I wish I'd never married you!"
  • "I have to do everything around here!"
  • "You are absolutely good for nothing"
  • "That dress makes your butt look fat!"
  • "You are just plain clumsy! I could make a long list of the stupid things you've done!"
  • "That does it! Why don't we just get a divorce? We can't ever seem to get along!"
  • Would you say these words to your child if you knew it was the last time you would speak to them?
  • "You'll never amount to anything."
  • "You're going to be locked up someday."
  • "You're the reason your mother and I are getting a divorce."
  • "Your brother would never do that. You must have done it."
  • "You only got a 97 on your exam? What happened to the other three points?"

Ever catch yourself saying, "I wish I hadn't said that!"? Thoughtless words spoken by a stranger do not have nearly the impact as the same words spoken by someone you trust; someone you love - a partner.

Thoughtless words once spoken cut like a knife. Reckless words pierce like a sword. They leave long-lasting scars. They contain injurious subtleties. They are often intended to cause guilt trips.

Do not overlook the impact of your words on your partner. Insults take many forms and they all hurt. Hurtful words are seldom forgotten.

Thoughtless words such as these generally spawn disagreement which often causes arguments that derail the relationship and shift the subject from the one casting stones.

Some justify their words by saying, "I'm just being honest" or "I'm just telling you how I really feel" or "Well, that's just who I am" or "I'm telling you the truth!"

What they are really saying is, "I just don't care enough to want to make the effort to control my outbursts." They generally blame their partner for their tirades.

Many hurtful words come from lips that were aided by a dependence on alcohol.

Mindless name-calling is destructive. The meanness behind unkind words is uncalled for and serves no worthwhile purpose.

Don't be careless with your words. Speaking before thinking is a harmful habit. Better healing words than hurtful words. Better compromises than brandings. Thoughtless words do not lift people up, they drag people down.

Why do partners put each other down? Why do they criticize and condemn someone they say they love? Why do people criticize their partners to their faces and also behind their back? Why do they feel so justified to do that?

Name-calling is based on poor self-esteem and wanting to use power to put others down. It has a spiral effect of further lowering the self-esteem of both the name-caller and the partner being abused. Surely they must feel weak, vulnerable, and unloved, and surely they seek to find that strength, power, and acceptance through the games they play with their partner.

Living with a verbal abuser keeps you off-balance. They can be extremely pleasant one minute and bitingly vicious the next. The most calculating verbal abusers may be friendly and charming to most of the people who know them and hateful, disrespectful and hurl degrading insults to the one they say they love only in private.

You will find the receiver of thoughtless words suffering in silence, while inside, their heart becomes bruised from the verbal abuse. They feel hurt and attacked. Anger, depression, resentment, disgust and low self-esteem can be products of verbal abuse.

For partners with a poor self-image, cruel words can send them to the edge. Cruel words become chronic stressors when your partner hears them regularly.

If your partner is verbally abusive, just remember: There is never a good reason to stay in an abusive relationship. Never!

If you are guilty of saying hurtful words, the next time everyday pressures build up to where you feel like lashing out, try something else:

  • Put your hands over your mouth. Count to 10, or better, 20.
  • Stop in your tracks. Press your lips together and breathe deeply.
  • Phone a friend or a relationship coach.
  • Bite your tongue.
  • Take a leisurely walk and think about how to better handle the situation.
  • Splash cold water on your face.
  • Close your eyes and imagine you're hearing what your partner hears.
  • Promise yourself to simply to be more thoughtful before speaking.

Toothpaste once squeezed, cannot be put back into the tube. Feathers scattered in the wind cannot be collected. You cannot un-ring a bell. Hurtful words once spoken, cannot be taken back.

By the way, saying "I'm sorry" is okay as long as the behavior stops. Too many "I'm sorrys" is like crying, "Wolf!"

Speak unto others as you would have them speak unto you. Think twice before you say something that may hurt someone else!

Make an effort to make sure the last words to your partner each morning and each night are loving, positive, and encouraging.

When was the last time you told your partner, "I love you"?

Tomorrow is never a promise for anyone! What if today were your only chance to say, "I love you?"

Additional resources:

Read, "Weigh Your Words." - It is a wise love partner who is aware of the potential damage loose words can cause. Words spoken in anger inflict wounds that often take a long time to heal. Think first. . . then speak!

Read, "Domestic Violence Sucks!" - Physical and emotionally abusive behavior is sick! If you are in an abusive relationship, this article is a must-read. Includes helpful info and links for support for abuse victims.

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, November 20). Never Intentionally Say Hurtful Words to Your Partner, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, October 4 from https://www.healthyplace.com/relationships/celebrate-love/never-intentionally-say-hurtful-words-to-your-partner

Last Updated: February 28, 2023