Common Terms Used When Discussing Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID)/Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD)

The Core: The original birth personality.

Personalities: The fragmented pieces of a child's psyche that holds trauma.

Hysterical Neurosis/Multiple Personality Disorder: The presence of two or more separate and distinct personalities who take turns using the body.

Common terms pertaining to Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID)/Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD)Other terms used for personalities: Alter egos, alter states, selves, parts (a subjective term).

Executive: When a personality (alter ego) has control of the body.

Host personality: Another term for the personality that has control of the body.

Dissociate: Webster's definition - to break the connection between or to disunite.

Switch: To switch from one personality to another.

Who's out? A common question used to determine which personality is executive or host.

Co-conscious(ness): (The Core) A state of being aware of what the other personalities are doing and saying.

Hysterical Conversion Symptoms/body memories: Physical phenomenon such as pain, smells, tastes, etc.; re-experienced again.

Re-live: A total memory recall (includes visual, emotional, physical and all other senses).

Dx: Internet Slang referring to the term 'Diagnosed'. When were you Dxed?=When were you diagnosed?



next:   Dissociative Identity Disorder/ Multiple Personality Disorder FAQ (frequently asked questions)

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, December 31). Common Terms Used When Discussing Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID)/Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD), HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, October 7 from https://www.healthyplace.com/abuse/wermany/terms-used-when-discussing-dissociative-identity-disorder-did-multiple-personality-disorder-mpd

Last Updated: September 24, 2015

Frequently Asked Questions and Answers

WHO RUNS THIS PLACE?

Currently SagePlace is primarily a one- woman show run by Tammie Fowles with technical assistance and support provided by Andy Rancourt and Kevin Fowles.

WHAT IS THE BIRTHQUAKE WORKBOOK AND HOW DO I USE IT?

The BirthQuake workbook provides members of the SagePlace community a tool to work on issues related to change, growth, healing and transformation. By responding to the questions contained in each workbook section, members can share their experience and wisdom, ask for feedback, and both receive and provide support. The Questions can be answered individually or you can just post your overall response to the group of questions. If you would like to explore the questions in the order they were written, then start with (1) The Quake then move to (2) The Haunted (3) Discovering Meaning (4) Embracing the Spirit (5) Nature as Nurturer (6) The Body-Mind Dance (7) Calling Forth The Source and (8) The Journey. To learn about obtaining the workbook and participating in a BirthQuake workshop via the internet email Tammie

HOW MUCH DOES IT COST TO PARTICIPATE IN AN INTERNET BIRTHQUAKE WORKSHOP?

The cost of participation in an internet BirthQuake workshop is based on donations. We ask that you donate what you feel comfortable donating from $1.00 to what ever you wish.. Proceeds from the workshop are directly applied to costs related to maintaining this website and providing assistance to non-profit organizations devoted to service.

HOW ELSE CAN I PARTICIPATE AT SAGEPLACE?

By emailing us your own thoughts, experiences, favorite books and quotes regarding personal and or global healing and transformation that we can share with others in the guest room, by participating in scheduled chats, and joining the BirthQuake and SagePlace mailing list.


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HOW CAN I SUPPORT SAGEPLACE?

Although it does require considerable time and money to operate and maintain SagePlace and we would like offer further services while at the same time making this site self-supporting through sponsorships appropriate, advertising, and donations, what we are tremendously greatly for are visitors efforts to engage in personal and global healing as well as their written submissions of their own experiences and wisdom.

next:BirthQuake: Journey to Wholeness

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, December 31). Frequently Asked Questions and Answers, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, October 7 from https://www.healthyplace.com/alternative-mental-health/sageplace/frequently-asked-questions-and-answers

Last Updated: July 21, 2014

Is My Adopted Baby Doomed by Her Mother's Drug Use?

Stanton,

I adopted a lovely baby; she is now four years old. Although at first I noticed she seemed somewhat slow to develop (crawling, rolling over, speaking), it is now clear that she has real developmental problems. I know some things about her birth mother, and these suggest that this mother used drugs. I am afraid I have adopted a crack baby! (I realize that meth amphetamines are frequently the culprit now, rather than crack.) If this is true, I fear that I face a lifetime of problems with my beautiful child.

How likely is it that she is a crack baby? Are the same problems as for crack babies evident in the babies of mothers who used methamphetamines? Lastly, what can I do about it?

Marianne


Dear Marianne,

addiction-articles-123-healthyplaceI have written extensively about the crack baby myth - that use of crack during pregnancy has permanent effects that mar the baby for life. Although research has never supported such an idea, this myth persists - and is propagated by the media. I periodically update this information.

Finally, in February 2004, a blue-ribbon panel of medical and other researchers released a public letter decrying the continuing use of the term: "we are writing to request that the terms 'crack baby' and 'crack addicted baby' be dropped from usage. These terms and similarly stigmatizing terms, such as 'ice babies' and 'meth babies,' lack scientific validity and should not be used."

The researchers continued: "Throughout almost 20 years of research, none of us has identified a recognizable condition, syndrome or disorder that should be termed 'crack baby.' Some of our published research finds subtle effects of prenatal cocaine exposure in selected developmental domains, while other of our research publications do not."

In another interesting declaration, the group warned equally against using the term "crack-addicted" baby: "Addiction is a technical term that refers to compulsive behavior that continues in spite of adverse consequences. By definition, babies cannot be 'addicted' to crack or anything else."

Children identified with problems stemming from crack us, as I have said repeatedly, are generally suffering from impoverished and other negative environments after birth. Remedial program - but programs that are designed for every child show good benefits for children identified as coming from mothers who used crack heavily.

Moreover, thinking of and labeling your child as a crack baby can itself be harmful. Based on another study of babies of drug-using mothers, the chief investigator, Deborah Frank, of Boston University's School of Medicine, noted, "This stereotype does as much harm, if not more, to children as the actual physiological impact of prenatal exposure. The negative expectations of these children are in itself very harmful."

Among the dangers of the myth of crack babies, the panel on such children noted, was that child abusers frequently claimed that foster children in their care showed signs of damage (including starvation) because they were actually crack babies, when in fact the children were currently being abused!

According to Frank (who was one of the panel members), children of heavy crack users who received supportive interventions showed better progress than comparable babies whose mothers had not used drugs!

So, the path is clear for you - seek appropriate assistance in addressing your child's deficiencies. There is nothing - at least as far as her birth mother's drug use - that will prevent her from forging ahead with proper help.

References:

Frank, D., et al. (2002). Level of Prenatal Cocaine Exposure and Scores on the Bayley Scales of Infant Development: Modifying Effects of Caregiver, Early Intervention, and Birth Weight. Pediatrics, 110, 1143-1152

Lewis, D. et al. (February 25, 2004). Top Medical Doctors and Scientists Urge Major Media Outlets to Stop Perpetuating "Crack Baby" Myth. Press Release, Brown University.

next: Is My Masturbation Ruining My Marriage, Even Though We Have an Excellent Sex Life?
~ all Stanton Peele articles
~ addictions library articles
~ all addictions articles

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, December 31). Is My Adopted Baby Doomed by Her Mother's Drug Use?, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, October 7 from https://www.healthyplace.com/addictions/articles/is-my-adopted-baby-doomed-by-her-mothers-drug-use

Last Updated: June 28, 2016

Test for Spouses/Partners of Internet Addicts

How do you know if your partner may be addicted to the Internet? Impairment to real life relationships appears to the be the number one problem caused by Internet Addiction. Internet Addicts gradually spend less time with real people in their lives in exchange for solitary time in front of a computer. Partners first rationalize the Internet-obsessed user's behavior as "a phase" in hopes that the attraction will soon dissipate. However, when addictive behavior continues, arguments about the increased volume of time and energy spent online soon ensue, but such complaints are often deflected as part of the denial exhibited by Internet Addicts. Internet Addicts become angry and resentful at others who question or try to take away their time from using the Internet. For example, "I don't have a problem," or "I am having fun, leave me alone," might be an Internet addict's response. These behaviors create distrust that over time hurt the quality of once stable relationships. The following Internet addiction test will help you determine if you may be dealing with Internet addiction in your home. Remember when answering, only consider time your partner uses the Internet for non-academic or non-job related tasks.

Please answer the following questions using this scale:

1 = Not Applicable or Rarely.
2 = Occasionally.
3 = Frequently.
4 = Often.
5 = Always.

1. How often does your partner desire or demand his or her privacy when on-line?

1 = Rarely
2 = Occasionally
3 = Frequently
4 = Often
5 = Always

2. How often does your partner neglect household chores to spend more time online?

1 = Rarely
2 = Occasionally
3 = Frequently
4 = Often
5 = Always

3. How often does your partner prefer to spend time online rather than with the rest of your family?

1 = Rarely
2 = Occasionally
3 = Frequently
4 = Often
5 = Always

4. How often does your partner form new relationships with fellow online users?

1 = Rarely
2 = Occasionally
3 = Frequently
4 = Often
5 = Always

5. How often do you complain about the amount of time your partner spends on-line?

1 = Rarely
2 = Occasionally
3 = Frequently
4 = Often
5 = Always

6. How often does your partner's work or employment suffer because of the amount of time he or she spends online?

1 = Rarely
2 = Occasionally
3 = Frequently
4 = Often
5 = Always




7. How often does your partner check his or her e-mail before doing something else?

1 = Rarely
2 = Occasionally
3 = Frequently
4 = Often
5 = Always

8. How often does your partner seem withdrawn from others since being online?

1 = Rarely
2 = Occasionally
3 = Frequently
4 = Often
5 = Always

9. How often does your partner become defensive or secretive when asked what he or she does online?

1 = Rarely
2 = Occasionally
3 = Frequently
4 = Often
5 = Always

10. How often does your partner try to sneak on-line against your wishes?

1 = Rarely
2 = Occasionally
3 = Frequently
4 = Often
5 = Always

11. How often does your partner ignore spending romantic evenings with you since discovering the online world?

1 = Rarely
2 = Occasionally
3 = Frequently
4 = Often
5 = Always

12. How often does your partner receive strange phone calls from new "online" friends?

1 = Rarely
2 = Occasionally
3 = Frequently
4 = Often
5 = Always

13. How often does your partner snap, yell, or act annoyed if bothered while online?

1 = Rarely
2 = Occasionally
3 = Frequently
4 = Often
5 = Always

14. How often does your partner come to bed late because he or she stays up late online?

1 = Rarely
2 = Occasionally
3 = Frequently
4 = Often
5 = Always

15. How often does your partner seem preoccupied with being back on-line when off-line?

1 = Rarely
2 = Occasionally
3 = Frequently
4 = Often
5 = Always




16. How often does your partner lie or try to hide how long he or she spends online?

1 = Rarely
2 = Occasionally
3 = Frequently
4 = Often
5 = Always

17. How often does your partner choose to spend time online than doing once enjoyed hobbies and/or outside interests?

1 = Rarely
2 = Occasionally
3 = Frequently
4 = Often
5 = Always

18. How often does your partner prefer to spend time online rather than making-love?

1 = Rarely
2 = Occasionally
3 = Frequently
4 = Often
5 = Always

19. How often does your partner choose to spend more time online than going out with friends?

1 = Rarely
2 = Occasionally
3 = Frequently
4 = Often
5 = Always

20. How often does your partner feel depressed, moody, or nervous when off-line which seems to goes away once back online?

1 = Rarely
2 = Occasionally
3 = Frequently
4 = Often
5 = Always

Your Score:

After you've answered all the questions, add the numbers you selected for each response to obtain a final score. The higher the score, the greater the level of your partner's Internet addiction. Here's a general scale to help measure the score:

20 - 49 points: Your partner is an average on-line user. He or she may surf the Web a bit too long at times, but seems to have control of their usage.

50 - 79 points: Your partner seems to be experiencing occasional to frequent problems because of the Internet. You should consider the full impact of the Internet on your partner's life and on your relationship.

80 - 100 points: Scores in this range indicate that Internet usage may be causing significant problems in your partner's life and your relationship. You should evaluate how the Internet has impacted your relationship and address these problems now.

Underlying such addictive on-line behavior can be a cyberaffair that is about to come between you and your spouse. To learn more about how to deal with cyberaffairs, please read our exclusive new booklet, Infidelity Online: An Effective Guide to Rebuild your Relationship after a Cyberaffair. And if your partner has scored too high for your comfort, please refer to:

Caught in the Net - to read about being a Cyberwidow and Co-dependency related to Internet addiction.

Our Virtual Clinic - for immediate consultation on how to help your situation.



next:  Bidding Till You're Broke
~ all center for online addiction articles
~ all articles on addictions

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, December 31). Test for Spouses/Partners of Internet Addicts, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, October 7 from https://www.healthyplace.com/addictions/center-for-internet-addiction-recovery/test-for-spouses-partners-of-internet-addicts

Last Updated: June 24, 2016

Medications for Treating Alcoholism

There are various medications that can be used to help alcoholics stop drinking and deal with the symptoms of alcohol withdrawal and the craving for alcohol.

Often, people want to know, "Isn't there a pill that can fix the addiction to alcohol?" Unfortunately, there is not a pill that can cure the addiction, but there are medications that can perhaps make it easier to effectively participate in the treatment for alcoholism.

The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has approved only three drugs in the past 55 years to treat alcoholism. Each of these drugs acts differently in the body to interrupt the addiction process. They are , ReVia, and Campral.

Antabuse

For those with an alcohol problem, the oldest medication thought to "cure" the disease is Antabuse (disulfiram). Wyeth-Ayerst Laboratories Division first marketed Antabuse in 1948. This drug causes many unpleasant effects when the individual consumes alcohol, even in small amounts. The effects can range from facial flushing, headache and mild nausea to severe vomiting and increased blood pressure and heart rate.

The expectation is that as a person associates these negative symptoms with drinking, the individual will be less likely to want to drink another time. Usually, the threat of becoming ill after a drink of alcohol will deter most motivated people. However, the effectiveness of the drug depends mostly on the individual's motivation for remaining abstinent.

Drawbacks to Antabuse

While will build up in the person's system those who choose to resume drinking will simply stop taking the medication for a few days prior to consuming alcohol.

Another problem is that people have reported experiencing very mild reactions with the use of mouthwash that has a percentage of alcohol in it, foods with vinegar like salad dressings and ketchup, and certain colognes and aftershave. Your doctor should talk to you about what is best to avoid and what to experiment with in terms of over-the-counter products and medicines.

Antabuse should not be prescribed for people with cirrhosis or other chronic medical conditions, including heart disease or diabetes. Let your doctor make this decision. This drug should also not be prescribed for people over 60 years of age. Severe reactions to Antabuse have included heart attacks, and some cases have even resulted in death.

ReVia

There are various medications that can be used to help alcoholics stop drinking and deal with the symptoms of alcohol withdrawal and the craving for alcohol.The FDA approved the use of ReVia (naltrexone) in December 1994 for the treatment of alcoholism. It was initially marketed by DuPont Merck Pharmaceutical company for treating narcotic dependency. ReVia blocks the parts of the brain that experience pleasure from drug/alcohol use.

Studies began to show that when used to assist with treating alcoholism, the drug helped to decrease alcohol relapse and craving when it was used over a period of three to six months. The success of the drug, however, is likely dependent on a person's simultaneous involvement in a structured treatment program that can educate them on addiction, recovery, and relapse prevention behaviors.

The studies on ReVia and alcoholism treatment all occurred in settings that combined psychotherapy and psycho-education with the medication. Therefore, the FDA approved ReVia for alcoholism only as an adjunct to traditional supportive therapy. According to the FDA, "This drug is non-addictive but can cause liver toxicity if prescribed at doses higher than recommended.

Drawbacks to ReVia

ReVia is not recommended for people with active hepatitis and other liver diseases (www.fda.gov)." Side effects include nausea, headache, dizziness, fatigue, and sometimes vomiting and insomnia. This is a daily medication to be taken orally; however, a long-acting injection is being developed.

Campral

Campral (acamprosate) is the newest drug approved by the FDA to assist with alcohol abstinence. It was approved in July 2004 for marketing and distribution by Forest Pharmaceuticals, Inc. Though the exact workings of the drug are not understood, it is believed that Campral can restore imbalanced brain chemicals to a normal balance, thereby reducing cravings and thus relapses.

Campral is prescribed once someone has made the decision to remain abstinent and he/she is currently alcohol-free. The medication is most effective when combined with a structured treatment program that can teach relapse prevention skills, or provides social support, such as community self-help groups.

Drawbacks to Campral

Campral has been used in Europe for over 10 years and has been shown to be useful for individuals with mild to moderate liver problems. Side effects have been reported as diarrhea, fatigue, nausea, gas, and itching. The most common side effect, diarrhea, usually resolves with time.

In all cases, a primary care physician or psychiatrist can prescribe and monitor the medications. Also, in all cases the recommendation is to use medication as a part of a comprehensive plan for treating addiction. The person with an alcohol problem should be willing to participate in some sort of supportive treatment program, ranging from community self-help groups like Alcoholics Anonymous / Narcotics Anonymous, Rational Recovery, etc, to a structured treatment program involving a combination of group and individual therapy and education. Recovering from addiction involves a lifestyle change. The medications can only assist in making the changes easier by reducing cravings and/or drinking behaviors so that you can focus on recovery.

About the author: Ms. Laura Buck, LCSW, CAC, is a clinical social worker currently in private practice at Paoletta Psychological Services in Mercer, PA. Ms. Buck has worked as a clinicial social worker with addictions and mental health for the past five years.

next: Attitudes That Can Lead to a Drug or Alcohol Relapse
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APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, December 31). Medications for Treating Alcoholism, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, October 7 from https://www.healthyplace.com/addictions/articles/medications-for-treating-alcoholism

Last Updated: June 28, 2016

Put the Toilet Seat DOWN!

For Men Only

The most hotly contested battlefield in the gender wars may not necessarily be in the bedroom. It may be the bathroom. The seat-up vs. seat-down debate rages on and some interpret this as a sign of male insensitivity and overall cloddishness.

Although it doesn't rate up there with the unisex restroom in the Ally McBeal television show, the signage for the toilets at one Phoenix, Arizona advertising-public relations firm is an eye-catcher.

Instead of the plain old "Men" and "Women" on the politically correct male and female door signs, the restrooms entries at Cramer-Krasselt are adorned with tasteful, nearly look-alike 3-inch square photos of a toilet. There is one difference -- one has the seat up and the other has the seat down.

The Considerate Seat™

Put the Toilet Seat DOWN!Is someone trying to tell us something?

Come on, guys! Maybe it's time to be a little more considerate. Like paying attention to the little things.

As a professional speaker, I lead seminars on personal relationships. In our discussions of "paying attention to the little things," taking the garbage out, leaving the toilet seat up and rolling the toilet paper the wrong way (among other things) seem to almost always creep into the conversation.

Although we may laugh at such trivial things, the truth is, it is important to our partners to do the little things consistently. It shows them we value and respect them.

Inventor, Tim Seniuk has the perfect solution to the "leaving the toilet seat up" problem. He has invented a toilet seat that goes down automatically after about two minutes. This $37 investment could save your marriage!

You will never again have to worry about experiencing the "porcelain splash" in the middle of the night! ;-)


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Indifference is like water to a fire. The flame of love grows dim with indifference to your partner's needs. By far the most common and important way in which you can exercise your attention to your partner is by listening. Listening is an act of love.

Women can often tell a man's interest in them by the length of his attention span. It's one thing to pay attention and quite another to acknowledge her request and then remember to do it more than once without having to be reminded. She is not your mother.


Being attentive to your love partner's needs, regardless of what importance you may place on them, will support things going well in and out of the bedroom. Think about it.It is unreasonable, and a breach of trust, to deny your lover's report of her feelings. When she expresses a need, it's your responsibility to do what you can to fulfill that need. Partners who love each other make this a priority.

Make a list of things you know that pleases your partner and remember do them consistently. Where is it written that a man should have only one job and a woman two? Housework is not just the woman's job!

If you feel that it is solely her responsibility to go about cleaning the house, paying the bills, taking care of the children, feeding the pets, emptying the trash, washing the clothes, vacuuming the carpet, getting the groceries, planning and cooking your dinner, all with great gusto, you are dead wrong!

For a relationship to work, BOTH partners must give 100% all the time! It's never easy and it's possible. Taking care of what needs to be taken care of is a SHARED responsibility. Relationship enrichment can only occur when both partners work together.

Reach agreement about taking out the garbage, which way the toilet paper should roll; in or out and putting the toilet seat down after you have completed your bathroom task and all the other helpful things you can do. Have them be random acts of thoughtfulness.

By the way, here's a frivolous fact: According to a 1999 survey by the Scott Paper Company, more than sixty percent prefer that their toilet paper roll over the top, twenty nine percent from the bottom. Eleven percent don't care. We thought you should know.

Intentionally add a little pizzazz to your love relationship. Do it in playful ways. Exercise your sense of humor. It enlivens your spirit, breeds happiness and causes you and the one you love to experience fully the love you feel for one another.

Leave a note on the toilet seat (after you've put it down) that says, "I put the seat down because I love you, not because I should," and add a smiley face. Do things that make each other smile. Smiles and knowing nods from your lover create a sense of unity that adds longevity to your relationship.

Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes. So, maybe it's time to make the best use of your time to show your partner that you are sensitive to the little things.

And one more thing. If you leave sprinkles on the seat. . . wipe them off! ;-)


I encourage the men in my seminars to use their bathroom experience as an opportunity to ponder the thought that. . .

"Foreplay begins with putting the toilet seat down without being asked!"Put the Toilet Seat DOWN!

Some final advice to women - Lest you unwittingly place your bottom directly on the porcelain, "Look before you sit!" Perhaps some of these days us guys will comprehend the complexity and significance of this relationship problem.

 The Troublesome Toilet Seat - The toilet seat dilemma taken to an extreme! Funny stuff.

The Bathroom Diaries - This well-organized directory identifies the best and worst public pit stops across the globe.

The Happiest Potties on Earth - Where would that be? Disneyland, of course! More than you need to know about the Disneyland potties.

 - A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the toilets. A police spokesperson was quoted as saying, "We have absolutely nothing to go on."

 


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next: Goodbye, Cavett!

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, December 31). Put the Toilet Seat DOWN!, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, October 7 from https://www.healthyplace.com/relationships/celebrate-love/put-the-toilet-seat-down

Last Updated: May 22, 2015

Combined Behavioral and Nicotine Replacement Therapy for Nicotine Addiction

Therapy and nicotine replacement help smokers quit.

Therapy and nicotine replacement help smokers quit.Combined behavioral and nicotine replacement therapy for nicotine addiction consists of two main components:

  • The transdermal nicotine patch or nicotine gum reduces symptoms of withdrawal, producing better initial abstinence.
  • The behavioral component concurrently provides support and reinforcement of coping skills, yielding better long-term outcomes.

Through behavioral skills training, patients learn to avoid high-risk situations for smoking relapse early on and later to plan strategies to cope with such situations. Patients practice skills in treatment, social, and work settings. They learn other coping techniques, such as cigarette refusal skills, assertiveness, and time management. The combined treatment is based on the rationale that behavioral and pharmacological treatments operate by different yet complementary mechanisms that produce potentially additive effects.

References:

Fiore, M.C.; Kenford, S.L.; Jorenby, D.E.; Wetter, D.W.; Smith, S.S.; and Baker, T.B. Two studies of the clinical effectiveness of the nicotine patch with different counseling treatments. Chest 105: 524-533, 1994.

Hughes, J.R. Combined psychological and nicotine gum treatment for smoking: a critical review. Journal of Substance Abuse 3: 337-350, 1991.

American Psychiatric Association: Practice Guideline for the Treatment of Patients with Nicotine Dependence. American Psychiatric Association, 1996.

Source: National Institute of Drug Abuse, "Principles of Drug Addiction Treatment: A Research Based Guide."

next: Community Reinforcement Approach (CRA) Plus Vouchers
~ all articles on Principles of Drug Addiction Treatment
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APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, December 31). Combined Behavioral and Nicotine Replacement Therapy for Nicotine Addiction, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, October 7 from https://www.healthyplace.com/addictions/articles/therapy-and-nicotine-replacement-helps-smokers-quit

Last Updated: April 26, 2019

Copyright Notice and Disclaimer

Copyright Notice:

All pages which go to make up the World Wide Web site, The Center for On-Line Addiction, electronically published articles and databases are copyrighted by The Center for On-Line Addiction (COLA). All rights are reserved and reproduction of any COLA pages, in any form, is strictly prohibited, without prior, written permission from the publisher. Permission is granted to copy pages, links, and other materials that go to make up COLA for private, personal use only. All other requests should be made via our standard feedback mechanism. Original authors of all original materials retain copyright of their own works. Such materials may be removed upon request to the Webmaster, and such requests will be fulfilled by COLA immediately.

Disclaimer:

The Center for On-Line Addiction strives for the highest quality in resources and accuracy of information, however, no warranties, expressed or implied, are made. COLA specifically disclaims any warranty of merchantability or warranty for fitness for a particular purpose. Additionally, COLA will not be liable for any direct, consequential or other damages resulting from the negligence of COLA or its agents. While COLA welcomes and encourages the contribution of other authors, COLA does not take responsibility for the content or accuracy of information that is contributed. While COLA welcomes links and written contributions from authors, those contributing such information are individually responsible for the content and accuracy of such information. Use of COLA constitutes understanding and acceptance of these provisions.

On-line consultation is not intended to replace face-to-face therapy. While this site has been initiated to assist those who are or may be Internet addicted, it is not intended to serve as a replacement for professional medical advice. COLA specifically disclaims any and all liability arising directly or indirectly from the use or application of any information contained in this site. Where appropriate, a health care professional should be consulted regarding your situation. It is important to note that the Internet is not a completely secure environment. All communication is completely confidential and all data provided will not be released in a manner that is connected with any identifying information. It is customary to use clinical data in publications or presentations only if all identifying information is removed or altered. Use of COLA constitutes understanding and acceptance of these provisions.



next: What is Cybersexual Addiction?
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APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, December 31). Copyright Notice and Disclaimer, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, October 7 from https://www.healthyplace.com/addictions/center-for-internet-addiction-recovery/copyright

Last Updated: June 24, 2016

A Parent's Job as a Role Model

How important is a parent to a child? Your behavior sets the example for your child. You are your child's greatest role model.

A certain educator was once asked at what point should a parent begin to prepare for child-raising.

"How old are you?" the educator inquired.

"Twenty-three."

"You should begin twenty-three years ago."

What is the message? The single most important thing a parent can do to educate a child is to provide the child with a good role model. A parent has to work a whole lifetime becoming the type of person that he wants his child to become.

The most important people in the world in the child's eyes are his parents. They are his first and most important teachers. The behavior of a child's parents leaves a permanent impression on the child's subconscious mind. Why is this so? The reason is that the most reliable source of priorities and values in a child's eyes is his parents. Children have an innate trust in their parents. They feel that everything their parents say and do is the true and proper way to behave.

We all wish our children would do what we say and not what we do. However, this is not how the mind of a child works. The intellect of a child is undeveloped. As a result, children function on an emotional level, absorbing more from what they see and hear around them than from what they are taught.

Parents Have a Huge Influence on Child

What is the take-home message? The main thing for you to realize is that you have far more influence on your child than you probably realize. Your child is going to pattern himself after you. That is how nature set it up. Your job as a parent is to be the best role model that you can be. True, it is hard, but that is the way it is (read some Parenting Quotes for inspiration.).

The following is a story I heard recently that brings out the extent to which your child learns from your actions.

A certain kindergarten teacher once warned a group of parents to be careful about how they behave in front of their children. "By the way, your children play in school," she said. "I know which of you treat each other respectfully. I know which of you use foul language at home. I know everything about how you behave in your home by the way your child plays, talks, and behaves."

Remember, you might think that everything that goes on in your home behind closed doors is hidden from the world, but it is not. Your child sees everything. Your child is going to take your behavior and broadcast it to the world. Make sure that what he is transmitting is something that you want the world to see.

Anthony Kane, MD is a physician, an international lecturer, and director of special education. He is the author of a book, numerous articles, and a number of online courses dealing with ADHD, ODD, parenting issues, and education.

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, December 31). A Parent's Job as a Role Model, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, October 7 from https://www.healthyplace.com/parenting/parenting-skills/parents-job-as-a-role-model

Last Updated: September 12, 2019

The Shortest Distance

Chapter 80 of the book Self-Help Stuff That Works

by Adam Khan

WHEN IT COMES TO SOLVING problems, using a formal procedure works better than letting your mind wander, so I have one for you. It involves four steps, and you do them in order. These steps are ancient. You could almost say this is the method to solve a problem. Anything else is less efficient and less effective. When you look them over you may think this is all very obvious and you can easily see why this method will work. But the important thing is using it. When you are confronting a problem, use this method:

1. Clarify the problem. Attempt to write down what the problem is, specifically. Writing it down is better than doing it in your head. Use a lot of paper on this one; it's an important process. Write something down, then try to improve on it. Keep working until you have a clear, simple statement of the problem.

2. List the causes. What has caused this problem? Usually a problem has more than one cause. List them all.

3. Create possible solutions. This is where you can use your imagination. During this stage, first come up with all the ideas you can think of. Then kick back and relax. Use your imagination. Let your mind ponder the problem in its own way, as if you were daydreaming about possible solutions. Look at it from different perspectives. How would an old sea captain look at this problem? How would Gandhi look at this problem? You don't know how those people would actually look at the problem. But you can use your imagination and that will get you out of your habitual point of view. Let your mind wander, but keep bringing it back to the problem. Don't work at it. Do it in a way that is playful and fun. And stop every once in a while and jot down some ideas.

4. Select your favorite solution and try it. You have a collection of possible solutions, and reading through them probably sparked some more ideas. Write them all down. Then look over your ideas and choose what you think is the finest solution among them. Now put it into action.




YOUR SOLUTION won't always work. No big deal if it doesn't - you have others to try. Take this step-by-step approach and you'll gain traction and equilibrium and a feeling of control - something that really helps when you've got a problem to deal with.

Problems are an important part of life, and it's always in your best interest to improve your ability to create good solutions. Mastering this formal procedure will help. It may be the shortest distance between a problem and a satisfying solution.

To solve a problem:
Define the problem, list the causes, think up possible solutions, and pick the best one.

Here's a way to make your work more enjoyable.
Play the Game

One way to be promoted at work and succeed on the job may seem entirely unrelated to your actual tasks or purpose at work.
Vocabulary Raises

This is a simple technique to allow you to get more done without relying on time-management or willpower.
Forbidden Fruits

Here is a way to turn your daily life into a fulfilling, peace-inducing meditation.
Life is a Meditation

A good principle of human relations is don't brag, but if you internalize this too thoroughly, it can make you feel that your efforts are futile.
Taking Credit

next: American Reading Ceremony

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, December 31). The Shortest Distance, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, October 7 from https://www.healthyplace.com/self-help/self-help-stuff-that-works/shortest-distance

Last Updated: March 31, 2016