Often we receive questions at our website from distressed women who wonder what is happening to their husbands or partners or co-workers and how they can help.

• It is important to recognize the signs of depression because most men will not see it in themselves since their most basic psychological defense is denial.
• It is important to realize that most men seek help only when pressured to do so by significant people in their life.
• It is important to realize than men can be helped through a variety of approaches including
  • exercise
  • diet
  • getting in touch with their spirituality
  • individual and group psychotherapy
  • medications
  • teaching men to recreate the social supports they have lost or never had
  • teaching men to love and accept themselves for whom they are

Antidepressant Medications for Men

There are a number of very helpful antidepressant medications now available. No one medication is perfect and it is very important to choose and monitor therapy carefully.

SSRIs (Prozac, , Lexapro, Paxil, Luvox)-- are considered the drugs of choice since they eliminate virtually all the side effects of the tricyclic antidepressants but they are not perfect. Each medication has a slightly different profile of side effects. So it may be necessary to try several different preparations to get the optimal response.

One of the most common side effects of Prozac and Zoloft is sexual dysfunction. Reported incidence of impotence can be as high as 30%. Obviously these medications would be a very poor choice for a male in mid-life crisis who is obsessing about inadequate sexual performance. Another disadvantage is that these agents are expensive. Caution should be used mixing these agents with weight reduction pills, agents used in smoking cessation (Zyban--buproprion), tryptophan and St. John's Wort marketed in health food stores, and other serotonin-like agents.

Tricyclic Antidepressants -- Elavil, imipramine, trazadone, doxepin, nortriptyline etc. These are generic and cheap but have a lot of side effects including sedation, dry mouth, and urinary retention.

Other antidepressant drugs include Wellbutrin (buproprion), Effexor, and Cymbalta. These effect the brain through other biochemical pathways.

Antidepressants and Sexual Dysfunction

Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) and serotonin and norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs - Cymbalta and Effexor) have been associated with a higher rate of sexual dysfunction (in some studies, as high as 40% of the people taking them.). In plain language, when discussing these medications, "sexual dysfunction" can mean lack of interest in sex, problems achieving and maintaining an erection and ejaculatory difficulties.

According to a 2001 University of Virginia study, specific antidepressants which were associated with significantly lower rates of sexual side-effects (7-22%) were Wellbutrin (bupropion) and Serzone (nefazodone).

next: Male Menopause: Men and Depression
~ depression library articles
~ all articles on depression

Recently, I have come to the realization that most of my co-dependent behavior was based on egotism. Somehow, I bought into the false concept that I was at the center of the universe. I believed the lives of other people needed to be centered around me.

Depending on the role of the people in my life, their whole person had to be focused on my feelings, my wishes, my expectations, my pleasure, and my pain. They were my rescuer, my sex object, my mind-reader, my care-taker, my ego-stroker, my source of affirmation and meaning, my "whatever-I-needed-at-the-moment."

If they weren't entirely focused on me, they didn't really love me.

Whew! No wonder no one wanted to be around me!

My false beliefs (i.e., survival mechanisms) were born out of a loved-starved, scarcity mentality. I had no self-esteem other than what others gave me. I had no self-love other than what others provided. I was a needy, wounded animal—savagely biting whoever tried to help me.

Sometimes I still wonder why God ever led me to recovery. It was certainly by grace. God loved me more than I loved myself. God willed to extend grace and mercy and compassion to me—at the point when I lost all faith and trust in life, people, and every other addictive thing I'd substituted for a true relationship with God and with myself.

Through the miracle of recovery and the Twelve Steps, God is showing me how to love myself, esteem myself, and be a unique, whole human being—I am learning to focus my heart on giving, rather than getting.

More and more, I find myself centered in God's will, totally surrendered to the serenity available to me for the asking. I am surrendered to accepting life, today, as it unfolds. I am able to let go of control, expectations, obsessions, and doing.

I am grateful for recovery. I am grateful for learning how to let go of my ego, for the opportunity to gain humility, and for the ability to focus on the process of being, rather than doing.

I am grateful I no longer need to merely survive. I am learning to live joyously, as God wills for me to live.

next: Serenity Prayer

Help yourself gain the knowledge and skills you need to overcome anxiety disorders. Three nationally recognized experts- Reid Wilson, Ph.D., Edna Foa, Ph.D. and Captain T. W. Cummings- have created the following easy-to-follow, self-help guides for sufferers of panic attacks and their phobias, obsessive-compulsive disorder and the fear of flying.

Don't Panic: Taking Control of Anxiety Attacks (revised edition)

383 in-depth pages of effective advice and self-help skills for those suffering from incapacitating panic symptoms. Patients gain control of their anxiety by learning the most up-to-date cognitive-behavioral techniques for panic disorder, agoraphobia, social phobia, simple phobia and the fear of flying (Reid Wilson, Ph.D.).

ISBN # 0-06-095160-5, HarperPerennial...$15.00

Don't Panic: The Self-Help Kit The Homework Guide to Conquering Your Fears

How to overcome panic attacks. The Kit is completely self-explanatory and walks the patient through every phase of the recovery process, using detailed instructions, step-by-step guides, over thirty separate self-help techniques and eight audio-tape programs. (Reid Wilson, Ph.D.) ISBN # 0-9630683-2-6, Pathway Systems.. $79.95 (with the book $89.95)

Stop Obsessing! How to Overcome Your Obsessions and Compulsions
"Unusually clear, exceptionally precise, and immensely practical." -Albert Ellis, Ph.D.

A comprehensive self-help book for sufferers of obsessive-compulsive disorder, based on research-proven clinical strategies, It details the nature of the disorder then lays out the specific steps needed, on a day-to-day basis, to control anxiety-producing obsessions and repetitive, burdensome compulsions. Edna Foa, Ph.D. & Reid Wilson, Ph.D.).
ISBN # 0-553-35350-0, Bantam...$13.95 (revised edition)

Stop Obsessing! Audio-Tape Series

A three-tape self-help supplement to Stop Obsessing! Practical steps toward mastering obsessions and compulsions. Tapes 1 & 2: Common Features, The Four Challenges, What to Do During Obsessing, How to Handle Compulsions; Tape 3: Side A-Practicing the Breathing Skills, Side B-Generalized Relaxation and Imagery.(Edna Foa, Ph.D. & Reid Wilson, Ph.D.). ISBN # 0-9630683-1-8, Patway Systems...$24.95

Facing Panic: Self Help for People with Panic Attacks

A straightforward eighty-page booklet offering seven self-help steps for recovery from panic attacks. (Reid Wilson, Ph.D.).

ISBN # 0-935943-00-5, Anxiety Disorders Association of America...$15.00

Achieving Comfortable Flight: Taking the Anxiety Out of Airline Travel

A breakthrough program for people who suffer from fear of flying. Time-tested methods used in the nationally acclaimed American Airlines' Achieving Flight seminars, features on the Oprah Winfrey Show. The ACF series offers two 60-page booklets, four accompanying audio-tapes, and handy reference cards designed to increase the patient's confidence while reducing stress and conquering fears (Reid Wilson, Ph.D. & Captain T.W. Cummings). ISBN # 0-9630683-0-X, Pathway Systems. $59.95

Sections of the books and tapes above were used in building this site.

Call this toll-free number for a free brochure on these Self-help resources available from Pathway Systems and Anxieties.com 800-394-2299 (toll: 919-942-0700)

next: Anticonvulsants for Treatment of Panic Attacks
~ back to Anxieties Site homepage
~ anxiety-panic library articles
~ all anxiety disorders articles

Following are some meditations on the Serenity Prayer.

How this prayer has changed my life! God has shown me that He is willing to grant me the petition stated in this prayer. I don't demand the gift of serenity, but neither must I beg for it. I simply ask God to grant me serenity.

God is the source of lasting serenity. God provides His serenity abundantly for the asking. My task is to find the true serenity that God alone grants. No other power or thing or person has the measure or the quality of serenity God is willing to provide.

God allows me to partake of all His serenity—an endless, infinite supply.

Why is God willing to so bless me with this level of serenity? Simply because God wills to give me serenity. God wills serenity for my life. I am so grateful God will grant me serenity. I am more than grateful.

Serenity is essential for acceptance; acceptance is essential for serenity. God is asking me to accept and I am asking God for the power to accept. Acceptance begins with God and ends with God. God is the cause of my acceptance and God's serenity is the result. Through serenity and acceptance, I move in unison with God's plan for me. I move in harmony with God's will for me.

God's will and my will become one through acceptance. God's will for me is serenity—a peace that goes beyond comprehension. I touch that peace; I become peace; I am God's peace through God-enabled acceptance.

What are the things I cannot change? I must rely on God's wisdom to make the determination. It is not within me to decide for myself what I cannot change—but neither is it ever solely up to me to discover those things. God grants wisdom to those who seek His will. His will is for me to be wise with His wisdom. I have no innate wisdom to discern the things that God grants me to know. Again, I must ask. Wisdom is God's gift to the seeker of wisdom. Wisdom is God's gift to those who are courageous enough to admit a power higher than self and ask that power for the gift of a higher wisdom.

Abundant wisdom is God's gift to those who seek a wisdom higher than their own—a wisdom to see all things within their proper context—what can be changed; what cannot be changed. Such wisdom can only come from a Higher Power. Such wisdom can only be granted. Such wisdom can only be sought.

I must accept the fact that there are things I can not change and do not have the wisdom to change. The request for wisdom is merely to know the difference between what I can change and can not change. What I can not change is left in God's capable hands. What I can change, God leaves in my hands, provided I am seeking His will and His wisdom. God's will is for me to change what I can, by first asking Him to change me.

The Serenity Prayer is really a prayer asking God to change me into someone who is serene, accepting, courageous, and wise. God's will is for me to ask Him to change me into that type of person. One of the things I can change is my attitude and posture toward God.

God's will is for me to allow Him to change me into the person He knows I can be. The process begins the moment I ask. The moment I pray. I ask in the full faith and confidence that God will grant me the request. The process of my change and my serenity begins as soon as I ask. As soon as I begin moving toward God, He moves to grant my request.

God's serenity is a well of sweet, miraculous, living water. Now that I've tasted it, I want more. More serenity is mine for the asking. The more I request, the more God gives. God's well of serenity is never empty. God's well is bottomless. How deep I drink is determined solely by my courage and my desire. No matter how deep I go, there are deeper, richer, depths to God's serenity. The level of my God-given serenity, acceptance, wisdom, and courage are as deep as my desire.

Therefore, as with all prayers, I must be careful with the Serenity Prayer. God, grant me the courage to accept the profound levels of serenity You are willing to show me. Respect for God's power to answer this prayer is necessary.

Just how far God takes me into the paradise of serenity is up to me. God never pushes me further than I am ready to go, but God is willing to lead me as far as I am willing to follow.

God, grant me the courage to follow You wherever You would lead and the serenity to accept what You are willing to show me when You lead me there.

The path to serenity is never-ending; yet the destination is always just a step and a prayer away.

next: Attitude

Chapter 93 of the book Self-Help Stuff That Works

by Adam Khan:

I USED TO THINK IT WAS healthy to express anger and unhealthy to hold it in, so I said what was on my mind when I was angry. Of course, I hurt people's feelings -unnecessarily.

Anger can be a dangerous and destructive emotion. Although you can't eliminate the emotion from your life, the way you respond to it can make it less dangerous and more constructive.

Research has shown that expressing anger only makes you angrier. But that doesn't mean we should avoid saying anything about what makes us angry. It's just that we should avoid saying it while we're angry. It doesn't do much good anyway: The person listening to you only sees and hears your anger and puts up her defenses right away. Nothing gets through. And she gets a very bad impression of you.

But you need to say something. So follow these two rules and you'll do yourself and other people a big favor:

1. Make it your personal policy not to say much or decide anything while you're angry. Leave it alone, go on about your business, and the intensity will subside. Then think about what you need to do or say or decide. If you've calmed down and decided to talk to someone but find you can't seem to say it without getting angry again, write it in a letter.
2. Say what you want, not what you don't want. Say your complaints in the form of requests. Instead of "You never do such and such," say "Would you please do such and such?" It's easier to hear. It's more likely to cause the effect you want. Say clearly what you want and why you want it.

USUALLY YOU'RE ANGRY because you want someone to change - to do something different than what they're doing. That's perfectly legitimate. What you want is to have an impact on the other, which, according to the research, is what will really and truly clear up your anger. Not venting, but not remaining silent either.

Those two steps will help you effectively cause change in other people while reducing the amount of anger you experience over time. Even when you make a request and someone says no, you'll feel better. At least now they know what you want. You've said it. It's off your chest.

This is a good way to increase others' respect for you while also making things go the way you want more often. Turn complaints into requests and make those requests when you are calm.

Don't say much when you're angry. When you complain, say what you want, not what you don't want.

I am not naive enough to think that... you will never fight again in front of your children. [If it happens, research shows that you should try to] go out of your way to resolve the fight...in front of your child.

Martin Seligman

Three simple techniques for improving your reading speed.
Speedy Reading

How to enjoy your work more, ultimately get paid more, and feel more secure on the job.
Thousand-Watt Bulb

Make your boss a great person to work for.
The Samurai Effect

The classic method of solving problems.
The Shortest Distance

Here's a way to make your work more enjoyable.
Play the Game

One way to be promoted at work and succeed on the job may seem entirely unrelated to your actual tasks or purpose at work.
Vocabulary Raises

This is a simple technique to allow you to get more done without relying on time-management or willpower.
Forbidden Fruits

next: How to Find a Lifemate

If you suspect your college aged child of substance abuse and addiction, for example, mood swings, withdrawal, lack of initiative, energy and interest, few friends, dislikes nearly everything, bad grades, hates school, doesn't want to be around her family (says she can't be herself), admits to trying most drugs, smokes, drinks alcohol and coffee in large quantities, dresses like a tough boy in contrast to her high school days when she excelled in everything, was highly respected, cared about her appearance, got great grades, won many awards, enjoyed her family and friends, had a positive attitude. What can I do as a caring, distraught mother? She is a product of a divorced home. I don't know what to do.

Dear C:

Thank you for writing me.

Let me primarily begin by saying that it is not helpful to see your daughter's problems as being due to drugs. (Nor is simply having a broken home the cause of the problems you describe.) The question is, why is your daughter letting go of what seem to be the good things in her life (whether or not she is replacing them with legal and/or illicit drugs)? Perhaps she didn't value these things initially, and felt that she was merely enacting what you thought was best for her (this is indicated by her statement that she "can't be herself" around her family).

In the same way, you cannot impose a solution on her, which may be more of what drove her away from you in the first place.

Here are some suggestions:

1. Read some articles on my web site that describe what addiction and substance abuse are about. They are responses to problems more than they are the cause of the problems.
2. What can you do to help your daughter find genuine expression of her interests and values? Can you ask her if she would rather be in another school or career track or course of study? I do agree that it sounds as though she is not happy with her current situation. But you must accept whatever signs she gives you about what she would rather do without imposing your expectations and values on her.
3. It seems that, in part, your daughter may have developed different values from you, including her attitudes towards drugs and alcohol and her sexuality. If you can accept as legitimate different forms of expression, you will have an easier time conveying the essential message that your daughter should not hurt herself or others through drug use or lack of care about leading her life, making friends, doing well at school, etc.
4. Obviously, the difficult part is discriminating between acceptable rebellion from your values and self-destructive behavior. This is a tricky course to navigate. You might benefit from discussing this with a friend or friends you respect, perhaps even getting them involved in the conversation with your daughter. Can you identify anyone in your family or among your acquaintances whom your daughter respects for this purpose (perhaps a young adult relative who has passed through some of this can serve as a role model)?
5. The point is not to get so wrapped up in the surface issues that you don't deal with the underlying ones. At the same time, underlying issues tend to develop over a long period of time and they involve your own personality as well as your daughter's. These basic issues therefore take some care and collaboration to overcome.

next: My Husband Is Continuously Losing Jobs And Has No Desire To Do Anything But Sit And Drink
~ all Stanton Peele articles
~ addictions library articles
~ all addictions articles

As Children proceed through the elementary grades, some class and home assignments will gradually begin to involve creative writing-first sentences, then paragraphs, and finally short essays. It is possible that these assignments will be difficult for some children, and there is a good reason for this. Comparatively little creative writing is required of youngsters in the primary grades. Mostly they we asked simply to read and fill in the blanks. Then suddenly this neglected skill becomes a very important component of assignments in the upper elementary grades.

Creative writing assignments require a lot of time, not only from the student but from the teacher as well, who must grade for content, grammar, spelling, and punctuation. No teacher enjoys returning a composition filled with red marks. Consequently, most teachers would welcome help from parents even if it only involves increasing the student's output. (If it can also increase the quality of the youngster's writing, so much the better!) Therefore, if it is all right with your child and if he seems to be having a problem with composition, you may want to consider getting in touch with his teacher to learn what she will be requiring in terms of creative writing assignments and how you might best help.

Somehow the child's cooperation win have to be secured, for writing tends to be tedious for some youngsters and cannot be accomplished- without a positive attitude. This can best be done by (1) defining the goal ("We're going to work together to help you learn how to better express your thoughts in writing."); (2) scheduling only one or two writing sessions per week, preferably at a time when the youngster is not already exhausted or burned out with other assignments; (3) keeping the sessions to a reasonable length, thereby preventing frustration brought on by fatigue.

Of course, it is possible that maintaining a regular schedule for creative writing will not be necessary, and a blanket offer that help is available if needed is all that is required. You may want to request that the teacher send all compositions home so that you can see if the child is keeping on top of this important aspect of the curriculum.

Materials

A "first-aid" kit of writing materials will circumvent many a crisis. Be sure that there is always a supply of notebook paper, pencils, and ballpoint pens on hand (in case these essentials have been left at school). A paperback edition of a good dictionary written at the child's reading level is also a necessity, and eventually a thesaurus will become a valuable tool for creative writing assignments.

Letter Writing

Letter writing seems a chore for many people, and yet a certain amount of correspondence is a necessity in everyone's life, and the sooner the child becomes aware of this social obligation, the better. Almost by definition, thank-you notes are generally short and their content follows a prescribed format. However, merely "thank you for your gift" seems insufficient. The recipient needs to identify the gift and graciously explain why it will give him pleasure. ("Thank you for the pretty sweater. It will go perfectly with my favorite shirt.") A note of caution: thank-you notes should be written within 48 hours of the receipt of a gift, for somehow the longer this is put off, the more difficult the task will be. Try to set a deadline without seeming to nag-something like, "Set aside a few minutes tonight to write Aunt Jane a thank-you note so that I can drop it off at the Post Office in the morning when I run errands."

Find out who those individuals are in your child's life that are important. Your child may balk at writing a letter to Aunt Jane, but trip over himself to write a letter to a favorite coach or previous teacher. (And, yes, pull some strings. Let that person know that a return letter would be mighty important and that some praise and interest shown your child would go a long, long way.)

The youngster can be encouraged to write other kinds of letters as well-a fan letter to a favorite rock star, a contest letter (25 words or less--good mental discipline), a letter of request ("Will you send me a free copy of the poster that was advertised in?").

A number of children's magazines promote pen pals with children in our own country and in other countries. Your children's librarian may be helpful in locating these.

Unblocking a Block

Often, the basis of the problem is quickly identified when the child groans, "I've got to write a composition for school tomorrow, and I don't know WHAT to write about!" It's a common complaint and deserves sympathy and some specifics by the parent-not to provide a topic but to trigger the youngster's imagination and creative abilities.

Try asking questions. For example, "Can you think of anything interesting that happened to you on the camping trip?" or "Is there a favorite person (or place or film, et cetera) in your life you'd like to write about?" or "Is there a famous person you'd like to be? Why? The important point to note here is that all of the above questions relate directly to the child himself, who is probably going through the very normal developmental stage of egocentricity. To most youngsters, they are the most fascinating subject in the world at this time of their young lives. This, too, will pass, but while it exists, we can capitalize on it.

Suggest that the child thumb through a well-illustrated magazine or book in his search for an idea. Newspapers are another good source-what better topic than to write about one's favorite comic strip? However, if the illustrations are accompanied by a printed text, die youngster should be cautioned against copying from the text as opposed to merely using it for background information.

The family picture album may touch off some fond memories that will make a colorful composition. Help die young writer to notice details in photographs-"Wasn't that the day it poured right in the middle of our picnic?" "Look! There you are getting on the bus for your first year at camp."

Try fantasy. For example, "What three things would you like to have with you if you were marooned on a desert island?" or "If you had to exist in a strange city for three days with no job, no friends, and no money, what would you do?" or, who would you choose as famous parents-or sisters-or brothers?"

General Tips

Try to encourage the young writer to see a picture in his mind of what he plans to write about. Let him close his eyes and describe the picture to you. Ask questions about it. His verbal description will help him organize his thoughts to be transferred onto paper.

Play word games. For example, if the word "red" occurs in his writing, ask him how many other words he can think of that describe the color red.

Remind him of the tried and true journalistic technique of including who, what, when, where, and how in the sentence. Example: "On Tuesday Susan and I took a bus to the Strand Theater to see our favorite movie."

Contact the teacher and secure her permission to "proofread" a first draft of the written work and make suggestions and minor corrections before a final copy is written. In doing so, think praise, not criticism. Example: "You did a great job. I particularly liked your descriptions. Here are two words whose spelling you might check. You must make sure that the teacher clearly understands that you are not doing the child's work but are simply standing by in a one-to-one capacity to improve the finished product.

The key word is "organization." Never allow the youngster to jump haphazardly into writing a "finished" assignment. Help him identify what is to be written, define the territory, work out a sequence, list key words and ideas--and then, and only then, start the assignment. Because some youngsters have great deficits in organization, they need gentle guidance for shaping their assignments.

If your work in creative writing is going well in terms of the youngster's attitude and productivity, and. possibly, improvement has been noted, you might want to consider getting the youngster's permission to approach the teacher to see if some added written assignments might be turned in for extra credit. Don't be surprised or dismayed if your child doesn't think this is the best idea you've ever had!

next: Helping Your Child with Handwriting
~ back to ADD Focus homepage
~ adhd library articles
~ all add/adhd articles

This page provides information for parents about the basics of reading instruction. The page explains why children and teens may have difficulty learning to read. The page also offers positive solutions for helping children and teens become good readers or even how to get a child started learning to read.

Another way to help your child is by subscribing to magazines of interest to children or teens.

Poor Reading Affects Many Children

A recent survey showed that 44% of the 4th Grade children nation wide are not able to read at or above the basic, or partial mastery, level on the 1994 National Assessment of Education Progress test. The extent of the problem ranged from 27% in Maine to 62% in Louisiana. In California 59% of the students are reading BELOW the minimum established proficiency level for reading.

Children with poor reading skills often:

• Receive poor grades
• Are easily frustrated
• Have difficulty completing assignments
• Have low self-esteem
• Have behavior problems
• Have more physical illnesses due to stress
• Don't like school
• Grow up to be shy in front of groups
• Fail to develop to their full potential

Reading Is The Key To Learning

The ability to read is essential to being able to learn any subject taught in school. In our high tech society, proficiency in reading is a must to compete favorably in today's job market. The information age is upon us. You can expect greater demands to be made upon reading ability.

As parents, it's up to us to make sure that our children can read, write, spell and pronounce words correctly.

Learning to read should be as easy as learning to talk

Just watch how a preschooler will pretend to read a story you have just read for them. They are learning by imitation. Actually that is how children learn many things. Take speech for an example. Young children learn to talk by imitating the sounds made by their parents. They then learn how the sounds go together to make words.

When you helped your child learn to talk you both had fun. You probably made up games to stimulate them to talk. They interacted with you and that made the learning process enjoyable. You both smiled and laughed when they learned to say new words or phrases.

Reading and writing are simply talking on paper. Why shouldn't learning to read be just as much fun as learning to talk? Here are some tips for encouraging your child to enjoy reading:

• Read to your child. No matter what age your child happens to be, he will benefit from listening to you read aloud.
• Discuss the books you read to your child.
• Be a good reading "model" by letting your child see you read.
• Introduce your child to books that discuss his hobby, interests, or new experiences.
• Buy books as presents for your child and he'll learn to value books.
• Make sure your child has a library card.
• Use the Reading Check Up Guide to evaluate your child's reading development.
• Encourage Your Child To Read - Subscribe to Magazines of Interest To Children/Teens

Why Johnny Can't Read

The main reasons for reading problems are:

• Ineffective reading instruction
• Auditory perception difficulties
• Visual perception difficulties
• Language processing difficulties

Over 180 research studies to date have proven that phonics is the BEST WAY to teach reading to all students. They also have shown that phonics is the ONLY WAY to teach reading to students with learning disabilities.

Unfortunately, 80% of our nations schools do not use an intensified phonics approach for reading instruction. They either use the whole word (see & say) approach or a cursory use of phonics along with the whole word method.

While most people can learn to read using the whole word approach, it is not the best way to learn. It teaches through memorization of word pictures and guessing. Unlike Chinese or Japanese which are picture languages, the English language is a phonetic language. With the exception of the United States which dropped phonics in the 1930's, all other countries that have a phonetic language, teach reading through phonics.

There are only 44 sounds while there are about 1 million words in English. These facts readily explain why having to memorize 44 sounds as opposed to memorizing hundreds of thousands of words is the most efficient way to learn to read.

A few children have auditory discrimination problems. This may have been the result of having chronic ear infections when they were young. Others may be born with this learning disability. Correction involves educational exercises to train the brain in discrimination and to over teach the formation of the sounds used in speaking and reading. The pregame phase of the Phonics Game is a very effective tool for improving sound discrimination abilities needed for reading.

Another small group of children have visual perception problems. They may actually reverse letters or words. They have difficulty matching the word image on the page with a previously stored image in their brain. Exercises that train the brain to "see" more accurately may help but instruction with phonics is the best approach to overcome this problem.

Language development problems can contribute to poor reading and listening comprehension along with difficulty in verbal and written expression. Learning appropriate word attack skills through phonics along with special help in receptive and/or expressive language skills improves this type of learning disability.

The Phonics Game Is The Best Solution For All Four Problem Areas

The Phonics Game provides the intensified phonics approach to reading that is best for all children and adults. The game format makes learning fun while stimulating full brain activation during the learning activities. The logical sequence of neurolinguistic instructional components leads to rapid learning. Most children are reading confidently after only 18 hours of instruction.

The pre-game phase of the program uses the same procedures used by speech therapists to teach the formation and discrimination of the 44 phonics sounds. Once the sounds are mastered, the card games teach all one needs to be able to be reading easily, efficiently and with enjoyment.

The visual matching process used in playing the card games, trains the brain to "see" the individual sounds correctly. This provides an excellent technique for compensating for visual reversals.

An additional tape for teaching spelling skills along with the additional Comprehension Game benefit all children but are especially helpful for children with language problems.

The Phonics Game is an incredible learning tool. In a matter of hours, your children will be reading and spelling better than you ever imagined. Fun, yes! But The Phonics Game is also a complete, systematic, and explicit phonics teaching program for people of all ages! The package Includes: 3 Video Tapes, Play Book, 7 Audio Tapes, 6 Double Deck Card Games, Sound Code Chart, Mirror, Reading Selections, Stickers, Pad & Pen, Game Plan Calendar.

The card games cover all the rules of phonics and when to use them. In no time, your children will be sounding out words easily and fluently. In as little as 18 hours your child can be reading at or above grade level. Young children like it because it's a fun game. Older children and teenagers like it because it makes school easier! Excellent for children and teens with ADD or Learning Disabilities including Dyslexia.

Parents call it a MIRACLE!

"The Phonics Game is fantastic! The same girl who struggled to read, or should I say memorize, now reads at her grade level. My daughter feels so much better about herself. This game really works!" - Alice Thompson

"What an unbelievable great idea. An educational product cleverly disguised as fun. My child never gets tired of playing The Phonics Game, and the learning will last a lifetime!" - Nancy Kashergen

"Our son, Oliver, will need outstanding skills in life. the Phonics Game helps us encourage and motivate him to learn right at home...and he loves it." - Ivan Chung.

Junior Phonics has children reading as early as three years old.

Prepare your child to enter preschool, kindergarten, or first grade ahead of the rest of the class! Give your children a head start in school with Junior Phonics. Studies and common sense show that children who develop early reading skills are often more successful in school and beyond! Plus they feel great about themselves! A delightful puppet character named "Ed" leads your child on a lively learning excursion through three entertaining videos that teach everything needed to be a superior reader. A colorful board game, cards, charts, reward stickers and more motivate your children to learn as they play.

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OCD Related Poetry

• I'm Not Really Sure
• Where
• Waste Some More Time
• Inside
• OCD
• Counting the Hours
• Free!

I'M NOT REALLY SURE

Right, you know you can do this so don't be scared,
carefully, one by one, let's go down these stairs,
don't stamp your feet, you'll disturb the dust,
It will blow into your face, In a contaminated gust!

Mind those walls, did I go too near?
Am I too close, or am I well clear?
I think my hair, brushed past the curtain,
but then I'm not really sure.....I mean, I'm not certain.

I must convince myself and make myself sure,
I really DON'T WANT to wash it anymore!
well I'm down all the stairs, and in the front room,
avoid that table... and that other chair,
Phew! I'm exhausted, but at least I've got there,

I'll just wash my hands, and of course my arm,
I feel a little anxious, but I must stay calm!
okay, I'm washed, clean, and sitting in my spot,
so, what's on TV?...as usual, not a lot!

Sani

WHERE?

Where do I find enough inner strength,
To cope with the months up ahead,
As I face up to the fears, that I've had for years,
and let Doctors sort out my head?

Where can I find enough confidence,
to look at them straight in the face,
as I let them inside, and nervously reveal,
the weirdness in my life that takes place?

Where do I look for motivation,
to make me believe that it's worth,
All the pain, and hidden frustration,
of coping with life on this earth?

Where do I find the support
to encourage me on in my strife,
so at last I believe, that I can achieve,
some normality back in my life?

Sani.

WASTE SOME MORE TIME

Lost, lonely, feeling scared,
Separate lives, nothing shared,
Hidden thoughts, silent hope,
No longer wait, no longer cope.

Caught in the middle, nothing to win,
Unable to finish, too scared to begin
Drifting, sad, tearful eyes
letting go, releasing ties

Self - expression, selfishness,
No point caring more...No point caring less!
Deep into sleep, sleep to escape
from doing what's needed,
the steps you should take

So, you waste some time, and leave me behind,
Waste more time, it's too hard on your mind,
Waste some more time, time after time,
Waste some more time.....time you can't find.

Sani.

INSIDE

I look outside my window now,
and watch life passing by,
staring silent with saddened thought,
I quietly begin to cry

As from deep within, the pain that escapes
cry's relieved, to be outside
I wipe my tears and retreat once more,
back inside my fears, to hide

Sani.

OCD

O for Obsession, again and again
C for Compulsion - causing me pain
D for Disorder as wires are unspun

O is Once more as a rituals redone
C - through Confusion as thoughts are unclear
D is for Dreams, stolen by fear

O is for Out there, somewhere out there
C is for Ceasing, stop if you dare!
D is the Doubting, not really sure

O is for Over, and over once more
C is for Counting - how many times
D - I must Do it, the decision's not mine

O is so Often, hands are all sore
C is for Clean, 1, 2, 3, maybe 4
D is for DON'T, don't do it again

Oh - Out of control, so more of the same!

Sani

COUNTING THE HOURS

Silent thoughts, thinking deep
too tired to read, too restless to sleep
Counting the hours, one by one
this day ending, tomorrow begun

Time moving slow, taking it's time
time running down - to the end of the line
Night turns to day, darkness to light
Black moves away; Sun's rise glows bright

Tiredness drags, pulling me in
as Engines rev up and Birds start to sing
Eyes close up tight, thoughts turn to dreams
then curtains are pulled, and bright sunlight beams

Sani

FREE!

Free thought, free fall
free to be, and to taste it all
Open fields, opened mind
"Worry thoughts" left behind

Free to breath gulps of air,
free to walk, without much care
Outstretched arms, touching walls
touching floors with Tennis balls!

Open doors, unlocked space
take my hand and away we'll race
don't look back, just come with me
leave it all behind, together we're FREE!

Sani

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The U.S. Department of Agriculture Food Guide Pyramid of daily dietary recommendations divides food into six groups. Recommendations are for children ages 3 and older.

At the top of the pyramid are foods you should eat only sparingly. As the pyramid gets wider toward the bottom, the suggested number of servings increases. As you go up, it does not mean the foods are more important or somehow better. Being higher on the pyramid simply means you should eat fewer servings of that type of food each day.

The recommended amount of daily servings reflects adult-size servings. For example, a serving size for a 3-year-old might be a quarter or half of a serving for an adult. Check the USDA Web site for more information about age-appropriate servings. Also, keep in mind that daily serving recommendations are guidelines, and on some days you may eat more or less of a certain food group.

Different foods within the lower five food groups have varying combinations of nutrients, so be sure to choose food combinations that utilize more than one group.

Bread, Cereal, Rice, and Pasta

The Bread, Cereal, Rice, and Pasta group is at the base of the pyramid because these foods should provide the majority of the energy a person needs each day.

These foods are high in complex carbohydrates, which are the body's favorite fuel. After carbohydrates are digested, energy in the form of glucose is circulated in the blood. The liver and muscles also store glucose for later use during physical activity.

This food group also provides other important nutrients such as vitamin B-complex (folate), which helps your child's body form DNA/RNA and red blood cells and aids the body in using proteins. Whole grains add necessary bulk to the digestive tract to aid in elimination of wastes.

6-11 servings daily 1 serving =

1 slice of bread 1/2 cup cooked rice or pasta 1 ounce cold cereal 1/2 bagel 1/2 English muffin

Vegetables

Vegetables provide many of the vitamins and minerals kids need for good health. Because vegetables contain many different vitamins and minerals, it is important to have a variety of them in your child's diet. Vegetables also provide fiber to aid in elimination of body wastes.

Be sure to scrub vegetables before cooking. Ideally, vegetables should be steamed, microwaved, or eaten raw. Occasional stir-frying is acceptable. Boiling vegetables is OK, but some of the vitamins and minerals will be lost to the cooking water.

3-5 servings daily 1 serving =

1/2 cup chopped vegetables (raw or cooked) 1 cup raw leafy vegetables

Fruit

Fruits are especially good sources of important vitamins like A and C. This food group also adds minerals such as potassium and fiber for proper elimination of wastes from the body.

Be sure to scrub fruits before eating. It is best to eat fruits raw. Avoid peeling or slicing fruits until just before use.

2-4 servings daily 1 serving =

1 medium-sized piece of fruit 1/2 cup cooked or canned fruit 1/2 cup fruit juice

Milk, Yogurt, and Cheese

This food group is an important source of vitamin A, vitamin D, calcium, and protein.

Vitamin A is important for healthy eyes, skin, and hair. Vitamin D helps your child's body absorb calcium and use it for healthy bones and teeth, along with muscle and nerve functions.

Protein in the body is made from the building blocks called amino acids. Protein's main functions are to repair and maintain body tissues, produce hemoglobin to carry oxygen to the cells, and produce antibodies and enzymes. Some of the amino acids in protein are produced by the body; others must be obtained in the diet. Excess protein is converted to fat in the body and stored.

2-3 servings daily 1 serving =

1 cup milk 1 cup yogurt 1 1/2 to 2 ounces cheese

Meat, Poultry, Fish, Beans, Eggs, and Nuts

Protein, an important part of your child's diet, can be found in this food group.

Foods in this group also provide vitamin B-complex, which helps your child's body form DNA/RNA and red blood cells and aids the body in using proteins. And iron helps build strong bones and teeth and support muscle and nerve functions.

2-3 servings daily 1 serving =

2 to 3 ounces lean meat, poultry, or fish 1 egg, 2 Tbs. peanut butter, or 1/2 cup cooked dried beans counts as 1 ounce of lean meat

Fats, Oils, and Sweets

Fats and oils are essential nutrients to maintain body function but should be used sparingly. Fats help the body absorb vitamins A, D, E, K, and beta-carotene. They help slow sugar's release into the bloodstream and are important for the formation of cell membranes.

Aim for fat intake of 30% or less of total daily food intake. Saturated fats (butter, beef fat) should be limited to 10% or less of the fat total. Unsaturated fats (safflower and corn oil) and monounsaturated fats (olive and peanut oil) are healthier choices. That means that a child who needs 2,000 calories a day can safely have about 60 grams of fat each day in combination with a varied diet.

Fats shouldn't be restricted in children under age 2. The developing brain and other organs of the young child need a certain amount of fat for proper development. Many people don't realize that breast milk, nature's favorite infant formula, is 50% fat.

Sugars, which are simple carbohydrates, are easy to digest and are quickly absorbed into the bloodstream where they provide quick energy. Sugars provide some nutritive value, but they should be eaten sparingly because they are often consumed as excess calories and lead to weight gain.

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