The last thing I thought would be part of my healing process in addiction recovery was humor. I was in a dark place, consumed by guilt, shame, and a constant sense of failure. The idea of laughing seemed absurd, almost inappropriate, given the weight of my situation. But as I dug deeper, I discovered that humor in addiction recovery wasn't just a distraction—it was a crucial tool in my path to healing.
Initially, I approached recovery with the seriousness it demanded. Therapy sessions were intense, and every day felt like a battle. But there was a constant undercurrent of tension that I could not shake. That's when I started learning about the power of humor in addiction recovery and mental health.
Humor in Addiction Recovery Changed My Perspective
I always heard that laughter was the best medicine, but I never truly understood what that meant until I began incorporating humor into my addiction recovery. I learned that laughter triggers the release of endorphins—those feel-good hormones that naturally reduce stress and elevate mood. When I felt overwhelmed, a good laugh could shift my mindset completely, allowing me to see things more positively.
Humor also provided a physical release. The act of laughing relaxed my body, easing the tension building up from the constant stress of wanting to gamble and the challenges of recovery. It was like a reset button, helping me start fresh with a clearer mind and a lighter heart.
Using Humor in Addiction Recovery as a Coping Mechanism
One of the most powerful ways I used humor in addiction recovery was when diffusing difficult moments. Recovery is hard, and there are times when emotions run high. When you feel the urge to gamble creeping back in, you can try to find something funny in the situation.
Humor also helps reframe setbacks. In recovery, relapses happen, and they can feel like the end of the world. But rather than spiraling into despair, you can find humor in your mistakes. When I slipped up, I'd tell myself, "Well, I guess I'm not perfect after all—what a shocker!"
It helped me see setbacks as part of the process rather than failures.
Balancing Humor in Addiction Recovery with Serious Work
Of course, it's important to recognize that humor in addiction recovery has its limits. It helps if you learn when and how to use humor. It should never be a way to avoid your issues but rather a tool to help you cope with them as you face the recovery journey.
Learning how to balance humor in addiction recovery with other therapeutic methods is also important. I continued with my counseling sessions, worked on building healthier habits, and stayed committed to my recovery goals. Humor is a complement to these efforts, not a replacement.
Embracing the Healing Power of Humor in Addiction Recovery
If you're on a recovery journey, I encourage you to embrace humor in whatever form it takes. It might not solve all your problems, but it can make the road a little less daunting. After all, sometimes the best way to heal is to laugh—at ourselves, the situation, and the absurdity of life itself.
Check out this video below for more tips on embracing humor in addiction recovery:
I have an issue with anxiety and clutter. I'm sitting in my clean bedroom and breathing in how wonderful it feels to have everything put away and organized. I am asking myself, why did we let it get so bad? Why did it take me so long to get things cleaned up? The answer: my anxiety, combined with my husband's attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), got in the way. When not under control, anxiety and clutter can form a cycle in our home.
The Start of the Cycle of Anxiety and Clutter
When it comes to my husband's ADHD, if he can't see an item, it is like that item doesn't exist. This leads him to leave out items he frequently uses or doesn't want to misplace. While helpful for him, this often creates clutter in our home. Clutter makes me feel anxious. My anxiety is triggered because I'm not always sure what to do with his things, and I don't want to be the cause of him losing them. I can do pretty well at maintaining the house's cleanliness generally, but if my anxiety builds, so does the mess.
The clutter isn't all caused by my husband, either. We have two kiddos that contribute to it, and if I am being honest, myself, too. Sometimes, it's hard to feel motivated to take the extra time to put things away fully when I can drop them in my bedroom and deal with them later. I hope we can find solutions because our home feels much better when clean.
Helping My Husband and Children Break the Cycle of Clutter and Anxiety
We are finding a balance, but don't have any set answers because this will always be evolving. We have purchased organizational tools to help with clutter, like charging stands for video game controllers, cases for the games, totes for this and that, and toolboxes for my husband's tools. These things can condense his items and give them a home. Some of these solutions help him still see his items but keep them contained in a smaller space. This can combat his tendency to forget about his things, and it also helps me know exactly where to find them if he can't.
To help my children learn how to clean the house, I have a small whiteboard on which I write a daily chore for them to complete after school. Having them voice positive feelings about completing the chore and how good the home looks afterward helps them take pride in their efforts and want to do more.
Helping Myself Break the Cycle of Anxiety and Clutter
To overcome my anxiety and get busy tackling the clutter, I pick a simple task or easy spot to start with, put on some music, and get busy cleaning. Once I finish a simple task, I feel more capable of tackling a harder one. Before I know it, what seemed so daunting has been chipped away one task at a time, and I am sitting and enjoying a clean room.
For a recent personal example of how managing my anxiety and clutter changed my kids' lives for the better, watch this video.
Since this is an evolving circumstance in our home, our solutions might change in the future. In the meantime, I'll stick with what we've been trying because, slowly but surely, it is starting to make a difference.
As we come together as a family to break the cycle of clutter and anxiety in our home, tell me, what solutions for clutter have been helpful for you?
Unfortunately, many people who have been in a verbally abusive relationship will continue to have verbal abuse triggers later in their lives. Sometimes, these situations create stress and bring back the same feelings of vulnerability for the individual who experienced the verbal abuse. Even if the present relationship is not abusive, it can be hard to adapt and move on from verbal abuse when triggers happen.
I know first-hand how damaging it can be when I let verbal abuse triggers affect my current relationships. There were times when my current partner had to remind me that he was not an abuser and did not and would not treat me the same as my past abuser did. Sometimes, I misread my spouse's intentions by letting my brain regress and tell me these verbal abuse triggers would damage my current relationship. It's a difficult road to heal from verbal abuse, but one that is necessary for my mental health and the success of my relationships with others.
Triggers from Past Verbal Abuse that Affect My Life Today
Because everyone's verbal abuse journey is unique, some triggers may affect individuals while others may not. It's important to know which ones you're sensitive to and learn how to manage your reactions when they happen. It took me years to understand and accept verbal abuse triggers and how they are affecting my life today.
Some noticeable past triggers that I navigate even in my life today include:
Raised or angry voices
Being dismissed by someone
Lack of communication
Rude or insulting comments towards me
Movies or television shows that depict abusive situations
Of course, not all of these situations will have me regressing back to a time when I was in a verbally abusive relationship. However, I must be aware of how they can affect me now so I won't react improperly when they happen. Naturally, I do make mistakes and may sometimes overreact to situations that aren't verbally abusive. I'm still healing and try to use those instances to remind myself how to handle daily verbal abuse triggers correctly.
Ways I help manage my triggers from my verbally abusive past include:
Asking individuals to lower their voices during a heated conversation
Expressing my thoughts and views to someone who is being dismissive of me
Insisting on open, healthy communication to avoid any misunderstandings
Letting individuals know their comments are not helpful or a healthy way to communicate
Avoiding watching movies or television shows that focus on abusive relationships
Thankfully, I work with some terrific professional therapists who help guide me on my healing journey. I'm getting better at identifying verbal abuse triggers that affect my life now and how to handle them. I may always have to watch out for these situations, but each day, I improve my chances of not letting them interfere with my current relationships.
"Why do I get the birthday blues?" is a question that bothered me for years. Only recently did I learn that I am not the only one who feels sad on their birthday. While plenty of people look forward to celebrating their birthdays -- as they should -- there are enough folks who can only throw a pity party. Here's why I feel the birthday blues.
Understanding the Birthday Blues
Birthdays often come with the expectation of joy and celebration, but for some of us, they bring up feelings of sadness, anxiety, or dread. This emotional response, also called "birthday depression," is more common than you might think. After speaking with friends and online strangers, I realized that some common themes cause the birthday blues.
Here are some reasons why you might feel sad on your date of birth:
Self-reflection -- As milestones, birthdays encourage us to reflect on our lives. If you feel you haven't achieved what you expected or were "supposed to achieve" by a certain age, this reflection can trigger feelings of inadequacy. As a result, your birthday can feel like a reminder of unfulfilled goals.
The pressure to feel happy -- Society dictates that birthdays must be joyous. This pressure to feel happy can get overwhelming, especially if you struggle with mental health issues like depression and anxiety. The contrast between how you are feeling and how you are supposed to feel can deepen your birthday blues.
Loneliness -- Your special day can cause loneliness if you feel disconnected from the people around you or if it reminds you of people no longer in your life.
Aging and mortality -- The reminder that yet another year has passed can trigger anxiety about growing older or invoke a primal fear of dying.
Childhood memories -- Birthdays tend to stir up bad memories. If your childhood celebrations were tainted with negative experiences, these memories may resurface and cause distress.
How to Cope with the Birthday Blues
No matter why you feel sad on your birthday, know that it's okay not to be okay. You don't have to force happiness or pretend everything is fine. Instead, allow yourself to feel whatever comes up. This is what I do, and honestly, accepting my truth helps me get through the day.
Another way I cope with the birthday blues is by reframing how I approach my birthday. Instead of focusing on grand celebrations or the compulsion to be happy, I focus on spending my day in a way that I find meaningful. This usually involves spending time with people who matter to me and doing things I enjoy. If I am having a particularly difficult time, I pretend as if it's just a regular day and try to schedule an appointment with my therapist.
My birthday is around the corner, and I can feel the birthday blues sneaking up on me. All I want to say to anyone who experiences sadness on their special day is that your feelings are valid, and this, too, shall pass.
Having a structured and strategic morning routine helps me cope with anxiety and anxious thoughts. Starting the day on a positive, calming note sets the tone for the rest of the day. I incorporate specific practices into my morning routine to feel less stressed and happier. Here's how my morning routine helps my anxiety.
My Morning Routine to Fight Anxious Thoughts
Below are tasks I complete as part of my morning to cope with anxiety.
Early intention-setting -- I make sure to get up a bit early so I have some time for myself before starting work. I like to take a few minutes to set my intentions or goals for the day. Sometimes I do this in my head, other times I write it down in my digital journal right after waking up. This aspect of my morning routine to improve anxiety helps me stay organized and sets a positive and productive tone for the rest of the day.
Morning exercise -- Once I've thrown on my workout clothes, I like doing gentle morning exercises like Pilates or yoga to wake up my body and get my blood flowing. It helps me feel energized, less anxious, and ready to start the day. Plus, there's something about getting a little workout in early that makes me feel like I've already accomplished something.
Breathing techniques -- When I wake up feeling especially anxious or have a packed schedule ahead, I prioritize a few moments for breathing exercises to center my mind and dispel any negativity. Following guided meditations online or practicing the box breathing technique helps alleviate any anxious thoughts. Not only does this practice lower my heart rate, but it also leaves me feeling more grounded and prepared to tackle whatever comes my way.
Nourishing breakfast -- I always make a nutritious breakfast to fuel my mind and body. It's the meal I focus on the most because I want to feel my best and avoid anything that might make me feel sluggish and stressed throughout the day. I incorporate a lot of fruits and protein in my meal to keep me energized and satisfied until lunchtime. A balanced meal supports my overall mood and energy, making me less anxious.
A to-do list -- Before starting work, I find it helpful to jot down a to-do list or map out a plan for the day. There's something incredibly satisfying about checking off tasks as I go along; It feels like little victories that increase my confidence and motivate me to keep going. By having this structured approach, I find that I'm better able to manage my workload and reduce any overwhelming feelings that could lead to anxiety.
What does your morning routine look like, and how does your morning routine help you manage your anxiety or start your day on a positive note? I'd love to hear about it in the comments below.
Healing borderline personality disorder (BPD) seemed like a vague concept. I used to romanticize healing, to think of it as this linear journey where each step forward meant fewer breakdowns and more sunshine. But in my experience, living with BPD feels like the mind is a treacherous landscape, and talk therapy just isn't enough. It's one thing to talk about wanting to be free of your triggers and to imagine yourself as some serene, enlightened version of yourself. But it's a whole different thing to feel that weight lift off you in real time. While difficult, healing borderline personality disorder is possible.
Healing Borderline PD: Go Beyond Talk Therapy
Somatic healing and trauma-based therapy can be revelations for those of us who are fixed on healing borderline personality disorder. In my opinion, the body holds memories and traumas embedded deep in our tissues, echoing through us like ghostly whispers. Traditional therapy can sometimes feel like a battle of wills against these echoes, a fight to reframe and rationalize. In my experience, somatic healing is about feeling those whispers in your bones and learning to let them go. It's about turning inward, tuning into the physical sensations that accompany our triggers, and gently coaxing them into the light.
From my understanding, somatic therapy is a holistic approach that focuses on the connection between mind and body. It recognizes that trauma isn't just stored in our memories but in our very tissues. It helps release the pent-up energy and stress held in our bodies through body awareness, movement, and therapeutic touch.
I am currently healing my borderline PD with trauma-based therapy. My sessions address the deep psychological wounds by creating a safe space to process traumatic events and rewire my responses to them. Sessions involve techniques like eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) and exposure therapy, which work to diminish the emotional charge of my traumatic memories.
Healing Borderline PD: The Process
During one EMDR session, I focused on a particularly painful memory. I could feel the familiar rush of panic, the tightening in my chest, and the sick twist in my stomach. Instead of spiraling, I stayed with the feeling. I breathed into it, let it expand and crest, and then, astonishingly, it began to ebb. With the guidance of my EMDR therapist, I was able to feel the anxiety, worry, and fear neutralize in my body before it turned into something else.
After several sessions working on this memory, something had shifted. The anxiety, the worry, and the relentless fear that had always seemed to define me were suddenly muted. They were still there, of course, lurking in the background, but they no longer held the same power. I felt a tenderness towards myself that I'd previously only reserved for others. For the first time, I was able to look at myself and feel a kind of warmth, a genuine affection. It was like discovering a forgotten room in a house you've lived in all your life, a room filled with light and possibility.
Healing Borderline PD Becomes My Reality
Healing borderline personality disorder through somatic and trauma-based therapy doesn't erase the trauma or the triggers. It doesn't promise a life free from pain. But it offers a different kind of freedom, one that comes from within. It's the freedom to inhabit your body and to feel your feelings without being overwhelmed by them. It's the freedom to be present and to experience the full spectrum of your emotions without fear. And for someone with borderline personality disorder, that kind of freedom is nothing short of miraculous.
Managing binge eating disorder (BED) at work was one of the most challenging aspects of my life. The stress and the easy access to food created a perfect storm for my binge-eating episodes. I often found myself turning to food as a way to deal with the pressure, leading to cycles of overeating followed by intense feelings of guilt. Here's how I learned to manage binge eating disorder at work.
How I Learned to Manage Binge Eating Disorder at Work
Recognize the Triggers
The first step in handling my binge eating disorder at work was to recognize the triggers. Stress was a significant factor, but so were boredom, fatigue, and even certain social situations like office gatherings or meetings with snacks. I began to notice that I was more likely to binge after a stressful meeting or when I felt overwhelmed by my workload. This awareness was crucial in helping me develop strategies to manage these triggers.
Create a Structural Eating Schedule
One of the most effective strategies I implemented to deal with binge eating disorder at work was creating a structured eating schedule. I used to skip meals or eat sporadically, which often led to bingeing later in the day. I started bringing balanced meals and healthy snacks to work, ensuring I ate at regular intervals. This routine helped keep my hunger levels in check and reduced the likelihood of reaching for unhealthy options when stress levels spiked.
Use Stair Climbing as a Healthy Distraction
During my lunch breaks, I made it a habit to use the stairs as a way to manage my binge eating disorder at work. Instead of heading straight to the break room, where snacks might tempt me, I would take a few minutes to walk up and down the stairs. This simple activity not only helped me to stay active but also provided a healthy distraction from food. It gave me a sense of accomplishment and reduced stress, making it easier to stick to my eating plan and avoid the urge to binge.
Set Boundaries Around Food
Setting boundaries around food was another important step in managing my binge eating disorder at work. I stopped keeping snacks at my desk and avoided the office kitchen during times when I knew I was vulnerable to bingeing. I also communicated my needs to trusted colleagues, letting them know I was improving my relationship with food. Their support made it easier to stick to my goals and avoid situations that might trigger a binge.
Seek Support
Lastly, seeking support was essential. I reached out to a therapist who specialized in eating disorders, and we worked together to develop coping strategies tailored to my work environment. This professional guidance, combined with the support of understanding colleagues, made a significant difference in my ability to manage binge eating disorder at work.
For more about how I manage binge eating disorder at work, watch this:
You Can Handle Binge Eating Disorder at Work
Handling binge eating disorder in the workplace was challenging, but with the right strategies, I learned to manage it effectively. By recognizing my triggers, creating a structured eating schedule, managing stress without food, setting boundaries around food, and seeking support, I was able to regain control over my eating habits and improve my overall wellbeing. If you're struggling with binge eating disorder at work, know that you're not alone, and there are strategies and support available to help you navigate this journey.
I have schizoaffective disorder, and I’m hearing voices again for the first time in a long time. Due to medication, I didn’t hear them for what seemed like ages. But now they’re back. Here’s what it’s like to be hearing voices again with schizoaffective disorder.
Hearing Voices Again with Schizoaffective Disorder
I didn’t hear voices because of the increase in my mood stabilizer. When I got double knee replacement surgery last year, though, I started hearing schizoaffective voices again. This was because of the narcotic painkiller I needed. When I went off the painkiller, the voices were gone.
I’m not on a narcotic painkiller now, but for the past few days, I’ve had trouble with voices reappearing. It could be because I’m going off an as-needed anxiety medication. It could be because my mood stabilizer dosage needs to be adjusted. I don’t know. I will be talking with my psychiatric nurse practitioner about this.
Hearing Voices Again Isn't As Bad As It Used to Be
It’s important to note here that my recent voices, including the voices from the painkiller, are not anywhere near as bad as those I heard a few years ago. They’re not as disruptive or aggressive. They’re there, and I hear them, but they don’t change my mental state like they used to. I’m not in an otherworldly fog with voices shouting at me. They sound more like someone has the TV on in the other room. That’s it.
The old voices I heard due to schizoaffective disorder were loud, shouting insults at me. They were also very disorienting. I had to stop whatever I was doing and go home. If I was already home, I had to stop whatever I was doing and watch a soothing movie, like Tori Amos: Live from the Artists Den, a film about an intimate concert the pianist and singer/songwriter Tori Amos gave. I used to bring the movie on vacation in case I heard voices again.
But now, the schizoaffective voices I hear are just annoying. I’m more concerned about what it means that I’m hearing them than I am about the voices themselves. Am I stressed out? Do I need to get my mood stabilizer levels checked?
My voices these days are pretty chill, and I’m pretty chill about my voices. A good example of what usually happens with these new voices is that my husband, Tom, and I will be lying in bed playing with our phones, and I’ll ask him if he’s watching a video. He’ll say no, and I’ll think that I must be hearing voices again. But it’s not that big of a deal.
My therapist said to keep an eye on it for now, and if it’s still a problem in a week, I’ll contact my psychiatric nurse practitioner. But I haven’t heard them in two days, so maybe they’re going away. As I said, it’s not that big of a deal, and it sounds worse than it is.
Therapy has changed my life. I wanted to go to therapy for years, but I only got access when I reached my breaking point in 2017. While I wish I had sought help sooner, I'm grateful I finally did because, honestly, therapy changed my life in unexpected ways. Whether you are on the fence about it or have decided it's not for you, read on to know just how impactful seeing a therapist can be.
How Therapy Started Changing My Life
When I first walked into a therapist's office, I wasn't sure if anyone could help me; I felt I was that far gone. However, as I began to speak, the mere act of talking about what was bothering me--my traumatic divorce--was cathartic. It was refreshing to be in a space where I could express myself without fear of judgment. Still, my early sessions were tough.
Until then, only my diary knew the intricate details of what went on in my mind. Suddenly, I had to talk about my innermost thoughts and feelings to someone I didn't know personally. I still remember how difficult it was to voice my struggles with chronic depression, especially how it sometimes led to suicidal ideation. Through gentle questioning, I was pushed to confront feelings I had buried for years, feelings that inevitably came up when I narrated upsetting past events.
It sometimes felt unnecessary, but I didn't know then that I had to undergo these processes to get to the core of who I was so therapy could change my life. Somewhere in my short-lived marriage, I had lost my sense of self and turned into someone I didn't like. Therapy helped me recover, strengthen, and own my true identity.
Therapy Changed My Life in More Ways Than One
Apart from reclaiming my sense of self, therapy also changed my life by teaching me the importance of self-compassion. I had spent years being my worst critic, often berating myself for not being good enough. My therapist helped me see how damaging this self-talk was and guided me toward a kinder relationship with myself. Thanks to her, I have finally learned how to treat myself with the same compassion I would offer a loved one.
It also gave me tools that I continue to use daily. For example, I can now set healthy boundaries with others and myself. I have become more aware of my triggers and have developed strategies to manage them before they cause problems in my personal and professional life. Indeed, as challenging as it can be, good therapy provides many benefits.
Even though I initially sought therapy to get through a crisis, I continue to go because it's become an essential part of my self-care routine. I believe the therapeutic space isn't just for coping with tough times. Instead, it's a space you can visit anytime to reflect, heal, and become a better version of yourself. Therapy changed my life in more ways than one, and I will always be glad that I trusted the process.
I think focusing on expression can improve self-esteem. This year, I am attending the Burning Man festival for the first time, and I can already feel the impact it's having on my self-esteem. Self-esteem is something I have struggled with in my life, often feeling like I am not fully myself, not truly seen, and unable to express who I am deep inside. But the decision to participate in Burning Man is changing that narrative. The festival, known for its radical self-expression and communal ethos, is offering me a unique opportunity to explore and express my authentic self in ways that I never thought possible.
Authentic Expression Improving Self-Esteem
As I prepare for the journey to the Nevada desert, I have been reflecting on what it means to express myself authentically. Too often, I have felt constrained by societal expectations and my own insecurities, which has led to a lower sense of self-worth. However, Burning Man's environment is radically different. Here, the emphasis is on creativity, freedom, and acceptance. The idea of creating art, wearing whatever I want, and engaging with others in a community that celebrates individuality is empowering. I'm discovering that by embracing who I am and expressing it without fear, my self-esteem is gradually improving. It's the authentic expression that's improving my self-esteem.
At Burning Man, everything is art. This includes the massive sculptures dotting the playa and the costumes people wear. This art isn't just about aesthetics; it's about conveying a piece of oneself to the world. For the first time, I'm allowing myself to experiment with my appearance and creativity without the usual worries about judgment. I'm planning to present my prose as the art that it is. This process of creation and sharing is helping me to see my value more clearly, as I'm learning that my contributions and my voice matter in this world. This newfound confidence is a direct boost to my self-esteem through self-expression.
Radical Inclusion Helps Authentic Expression and Self-Esteem
One of the most powerful aspects of Burning Man is the principle of "radical inclusion," which has already begun to shift my perspective on community and connection. Here, everyone is welcome, and the idea that I can be myself, unfiltered and unmasked, without fear of rejection is a revelation. In everyday life, I often feel like I have to hide parts of myself to fit in, but Burning Man offers a space where I can be wholly authentic. This acceptance is not only raising my self-esteem but also teaching me to be more accepting of myself in all environments.
As the festival approaches, I am excited but also introspective about what this experience will mean for me in the long run. Burning Man isn't just a one-time event; it's a catalyst for personal growth. By using this forum of authentic expression, I'm not only improving my self-esteem through expression during the festival but also building a foundation of confidence that I can carry forward into the rest of my life. I'm learning that when I express myself fully and authentically, my self-esteem naturally flourishes, and I begin to see the world as a place where I truly belong.
In today's video, I explore various forums for authentic expression that improves self-esteem.
