Once a person has experience with a person with bipolar disorder, they may assume that they will always have a similar experience with others who have bipolar disorder. In other words, a person may paint everyone with bipolar disorder with the same brush. If the first person with bipolar disorder they have experience with is very intelligent or creative — they may think all people with bipolar are. On the other hand, if their experience with a person with bipolar disorder was very negative, they may assume that all their future experiences will go the same way. Generalizations of any group don't help us, however.

Generalizing Experiences with a Person with Bipolar Disorder Is Normal

Treating every item of the same type in the same way is a shorthand for the brain. If we learn that triangles have three sides and then see a three-sided shape, we call it a triangle and treat it as such. When we're talking about shapes, that works just fine. When we're talking about people, though, it gets more complicated. However, our brains still look to take those same shortcuts. It's how we process the myriad of complex stimuli that surround us every day. So, generalizing experiences with a person with bipolar disorder makes sense in that regard.

Generalizing Experiences with a Person with Bipolar Disorder Is Not Helpful

Unfortunately, generalizing your experiences with a person with bipolar disorder is not helpful, as while we are part of a group, we are also individuals. We may fit the diagnosis of an illness, but there are an infinite number of variables that define a human — not just one. We all have hopes, fears, dreams, likes, and dislikes that make us unique. None of those things are necessarily dictated by the illness. When you generalize one experience with a person with bipolar disorder onto all of us, you do us and you a disservice. By generalizing, you aren't learning about who we are or having a genuine interaction. You are projecting history onto the present.

Unfortunately, this often causes harm. I hear from people all the time who think that people with bipolar disorder are incredibly destructive and toxic because of one experience in their past. This tars and feathers all people with bipolar disorder because of what one person did.

How to Not Generalize Your Experience with a Person with Bipolar Disorder

As I said, people are more complicated than shapes. We know this, but applying this knowledge means overriding our brain's basic desire to generalize and categorize. We have to use wisdom and insight to overcome this simple way of thinking.

Essentially, it comes down to remembering that people are complex individuals. You can place them into illness groups if you like, but you can't judge a person based on that group. For example, not everyone with cancer is the same. Not everyone with diabetes is the same. Not everyone with bipolar disorder is the same, either. Bipolar disorder may influence who a person is, but it doesn't define it. Some of us are incredibly brilliant; some of us aren't. Some of us are artists, while some of us can't draw stick figures. And some of us are awful people, but that doesn't mean we all are.

While I will admit that a particularly great or particularly terrible experience can (rightly) influence your feelings in the future, it's important to recognize our history's influence and not project it onto other people — regardless of the group they may be in.

Living with borderline personality disorder (BPD) often means grappling with borderline PD mood swings that can swiftly turn my world upside down. When these BPD mood swings hit, thoughts become tangled in cognitive distortions, and black-and-white thinking takes hold, making it difficult to see shades of gray or to check the validity of my assumptions. In other words, BPD mood swings are a rapid descent into a world where worst-case scenarios feel like certainties.

Borderline PD Mood Swings: Lost in Translation

Explaining my BPD mood swings to loved ones who don't share the same condition can be a daunting task. The speed at which emotions shift can feel impossible to convey. This has left me feeling isolated and misunderstood. Borderline PD mood swings are what I imagine it's like to be thrust into an alternate reality where familiar landscapes suddenly seem foreign and unsettling.

Even moments of joy can quickly sour with the slightest perceived criticism or misstep from a loved one. A seemingly harmless comment can trigger a shame spiral, plunging me into a whirlwind of self-doubt and emotional turmoil.

Perhaps the most challenging aspect of living with BPD mood swings is the normalization of these intense emotional fluctuations. What may seem chaotic to others is simply the default setting for those with BPD. Navigating everyday life, particularly interpersonal relationships, becomes a constant struggle against the tide of shifting emotions and distorted perceptions. I find myself wishing my loved ones could experience a day in my body so I didn't have to explain my moods in plain and trite phrases. Simply saying I feel sad doesn't cover the amount of pain I'm in during a BPD mood swing.

Borderline PD Mood Swings: Craving Love, Repelling Comfort

Underlying these BPD mood swings is often a deep-seated yearning for love and validation stemming from unmet needs in childhood. However, when faced with expressions of care and concern from others, individuals with BPD mood swings may find themselves recoiling, their instinctual response being to withdraw rather than embrace the comfort offered.

When a friend notices a change in my mood and extends support, instead of embracing it as an act of kindness, I often find myself overwhelmed with shame and discomfort. The vulnerability of having my emotions observed and acknowledged triggers a defensive reaction within me. I'm working to unlearn my instinctive urge to evade questions like, "Are you ok?" and to perceive these moments as gestures of care.

Living with BPD mood swings is like surfing through a storm on a leaky raft: you're constantly balancing between sinking and riding the waves. It's a journey marked by peaks and valleys, breakthroughs and setbacks. Recognizing my life as it is now has been crucial. The people in my life genuinely want to understand and support me, which is a stark contrast to the emotionally neglectful environment I grew up in. While navigating these complexities can be challenging and sometimes painful, I'm giving myself credit for not only riding the waves but settling into these waters and staying on the path to healing.

Learning how to silence your inner critic after trauma can feel impossible. Personally, I developed a harsh (and loud) inner critic during early childhood following a trauma that made me question my worth. As I grew up, I found it "safer" to try to be the perfect kid, teen, young adult, and now woman, thinking maybe it would make me more worthy of love and good treatment. However, this has only ever perpetuated more self-loathing and vicious cycles.

Throughout my battle with posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), I have found self-criticism to be my most pressing struggle. Today, I am actively finding ways to silence my inner critic and better love myself — flaws, mistakes, and all. 

Posttraumatic Stress Disorder and the Inner Critic After Trauma

After developing PTSD in childhood, I quickly fell victim to my harsh inner critic. In my eyes, I could do nothing right. I was vile. I was a bad person. I was a burden. I was ugly, weird, dramatic, and a million other negative adjectives. But most of all, I was unloveable. At least, that's what my inner critic would tell me.

It wasn't until adulthood that I realized my inner critic was a result of trauma. While I'm sure we all have a somewhat judgmental voice inside our heads, mine was extra loud and extra mean, according to many of my therapists. Because I'd endured such a complex and confusing trauma in childhood, I internalized the event and began telling myself that I was the problem — in every situation. It was easier to blame myself because then I would at least have some control over the situation. I could fix myself, which meant I could avoid conflict, pain, or additional trauma — right? Little did I know, my inner critic after trauma wasn't trying to hurt me. 

How to Silence Your Inner Critic After Trauma

Learning to silence your inner critic after trauma won't happen overnight. However, if you can befriend your inner critic rather than trying to fight or disprove it, you might notice more efficient progress.

I believe your inner critic is really trying to keep you safe. I've found that when you can better understand that part of you, you can learn to lessen its intensity and channel its intentions in a healthier way. For example, I've discovered that my inner critic is only trying to keep me safe and loveable. However, it often achieves the opposite and keeps me in unhealthy cycles with individuals who don't have my best interests at heart.

When I can acknowledge my inner critic's true desires, I can address those negative thoughts from a more rational, grounded, and loving place. I don't need to make that internalized voice disappear; I just need to ensure I'm not feeding it. I can allow it to speak or scream or toss insults, but I don't need to agree — and I certainly don't need to fight back. I can remind myself that this part of me is only trying to help; it's just misguided. Then, I can replace those negative thoughts with more helpful, affirming ones that will actually help me grow.

To learn more about silencing your inner critic after trauma, watch the video below:

It feels like I write an article on this topic at least once a year—but as someone who has dealt with sexual assault and a lifetime of body image pressures, I will return to the keyboard once again as society continues to devalue women's (anyone who identifies as such) bodies. So, why am I talking about it this time? The answer is simple: Because it's hard to escape the stark reminders that women's bodies are often not seen as culturally valuable or worth protecting. The devaluing of women's bodies infuriatingly continues.

The News Is Proof Society Continues to Devalue Women's Bodies

A few days ago, millions of women across the United States woke up to the headline that a New York Appeals Court tossed out the 2020 rape conviction of Harvey Weinstein.¹ I could not believe it when I first saw all the posts on my Instagram timeline—I had to stare at them for a couple of minutes to be sure I was reading correctly. Then, I noticed a familiar tension in my chest and nausea in my stomach. Weinstein's original conviction was called into question and subsequently overturned. It's just one more example of how society continues to devalue women's bodies while enabling the powerful abusers who harm and objectify them.

When circumstances like this re-emerge in the public discourse, it's easy to feel overwhelmed. The trauma I have worked so tenaciously to heal from creeps right back into the forefront of my mind. I want to contain and control this body, which has felt so unsafe at times that I've been reluctant to embrace it as mine. But there is another vantage point to consider.

Society Devalues Women's Bodies—This Can Be a Call to Action

No matter how often the news cycle—and normal lived experiences—proves that society continues to devalue women's bodies, the story does not have to end there. Crucial work must still be done; every ounce of sustained, collective effort can help change the status quo. If I choose to believe in a future that empowers all human beings to thrive, I cannot become hopeless, resigned, or cynical. So, instead, I cling to the words that Rowena Chiu, a prominent #MeToo activist who was assaulted by Weinstein in 1998, recently shared on Instagram: 

"Today's breaking news has by turns been angering, defeating, devastating, frustrating, [and] infuriating...whilst simultaneously, a call to action! It is clear the legal system is in need of reform. Culturally and societally, it remains almost impossibly harrowing for women to speak up. Even if one is willing to take that horrific leap into the unknown, only a handful of cases ever see the inside of a courtroom. Then, to have the testimonies of these brave and courageous few thrown back at us in an overturning of the verdict feels like a gut punch, a slap in the face, and a tearing open of an old wound all at once. Those handful stood for us all. They stood for those of us who could not speak or would not speak...But rather than dwelling in the despair of defeat, I take this as a sign that we are at the beginning of a very long fight, where there will be many steps back, but ultimately, the arc of the moral universe will bend—inexorably—towards justice."²

A Message of Love as Society Continues to Devalue Women's Bodies

Please watch this video to remind yourself that all bodies are valuable. (Editor's Note: This video is limited to people over 18 due to Youtube's policy concerning eating disorders.)

If you were impacted by the news about Harvey Weinstein earlier this week, please be gentle and compassionate toward yourself. Nothing can take away the intrinsic value of your own unique, incomparable, miraculous body. I hope that you'll treat it with kindness because all human bodies are worthy of such. I am sending you love as we process this societal blow together.

Sources

1. Sisak, M. R., & Collins, D. (2024, April 25). Harvey Weinstein’s rape conviction from landmark #MeToo trial overturned. AP News. https://apnews.com/article/weinstein-metoo-appeal-ed29faeec862abf0c071e8bd3574c4a3
2. Chiu, R. [@chiu_rowena]. (2024, April 25). Instagram. https://www.instagram.com/p/C6OMQu_rDjA/

Playing the piano affects my schizoaffective disorder in a very positive way. Let me tell you how my piano playing soothes my schizoaffective disorder.

My Schizoaffective Disorder Is Soothed By Piano Playing

Right now, this schizoaffective is playing four songs on the piano—“Across the Universe” and “Here Comes the Sun” by the Beatles, "River" by Joni Mitchell, and a song I made up that I call “Quickbeam.” (I’m not yet confident enough to say I “composed” it.)

Playing the piano helps my schizoaffective disorder because I’m not just doing something to pass the time, although it is excellent for that–I’m learning a skill. And learning new skills is good for your brain.

I want to share with you how I got my new piano. My little brother, John (he’s 36), got it for me for Christmas. It was a total surprise. It was probably the most generous gift I’ve ever received.

Playing the piano is definitely in my toolbox for soothing my schizoaffective disorder and my anxiety. When I’m stressed out—and if you follow this blog, you know that anxiety covers much of my constant state of being—making music calms me down. It gives me something to focus on, and it makes me forget myself. Last but not least, it’s fun.

How Playing the Piano Versus Listening to Music Affects My Schizoaffective Disorder

Listening to music has always meant so much to me, to the point that I have go-to albums for de-stressing, like Scarlet’s Walk by Tori Amos and Saltbreakers by Laura Veirs. I’ve always intensely admired people with the ability to create good music. But the reason my brother got me the piano is that, when I was a tween, I took piano lessons and, he claims, I was so good it influenced him to study music at the University of Iowa and then move out to California to be near our brother, Billy, and teach piano. He also plays the drums in a band.

I respect pianists like John, Tori Amos, Regina Spektor, and Vanessa Carlton so much more now that I’m playing the piano myself again. I used to judge other famous pianists for not measuring up to Tori Amos and that even included Paul McCartney and John Lennon. Well, they may not be as good as Tori, but I’m leagues away from playing anywhere as well as they all are. So, I guess the lesson becomes, before you judge other people for what they do, try doing it yourself.

I’m not looking to be a professional pianist—I’m already a professional writer. Honestly, I’m not even looking to be a good pianist, although, not to brag, I’m not bad. It’s music therapy for me. Piano playing affects my schizoaffective disorder positively, and for now, that’s enough.

In my video, I talk specifically about how creativity positively affects my schizoaffective disorder, and I even play the piano a little bit.

I've noticed that slowing down helps my anxiety. When I am extremely busy, the pressures of having a demanding schedule and multiple deadlines begin to weigh on me and contribute to my anxiety. The busier my schedule gets, the more I feel anxious daily. Unfortunately, this becomes evident as I start having a hard time sleeping, concentrating, and focusing on day-to-day responsibilities. In these situations, I need to help my anxiety by slowing down.

When this happens, I know it is time to reevaluate my current situation. I've found that the most effective coping techniques that I've used for my anxiety always start with self-awareness and insight. If I don't take the time to assess my current circumstances, then I don't know what can be the most helpful for me. So, I take a step back and reflect on my situation.

During times like these, I know that my anxiety is not so much the result of having taken on too much as it is the result of feeling that there is a lack of structure and control. And so, to regain a sense of control and keep from feeling as though my situation is chaotic, I take some time to slow down.

How Slowing Down Helps My Anxiety

By slowing down to help my anxiety, I mean that instead of trying to multitask and complete too many things all at the same time, I organize and structure my day and focus on only one thing at a time. If I try to multitask, this becomes overwhelming and stressful, especially because it feels like my attention is being pulled in too many directions.

Beyond organizing my day to focus on one task at a time, I also try to prioritize the things I need to accomplish. For example, if I have a looming deadline on a project, this doesn't necessarily mean I need to work on it right away. If I allow myself to spend a lot of time thinking about it, I will feel more stressed, regardless of when that deadline is. The racing thoughts and worries can then become overwhelming and interfere with my daily functioning.

So, instead, I take an honest look at the things I need to work on and decide what is the most urgent. For those tasks, I will make them a priority and then focus my attention fully when I am working on them. Beyond that, to help keep my racing thoughts at bay, I make it a point to allow my thoughts to center only on the task at hand. This has taken quite a bit of practice, but the more I do this, the more I have found my tendency to ruminate decreases.

Lastly, it is tremendously helpful to have a structured schedule in which my responsibilities are organized and given a designated time. No matter how small or large the task is, it gets a spot on my schedule, and this helps me regain a sense of control that then lessens my anxious thoughts.

Take a look at the video below, in which I talk about what is helpful for me concerning slowing down to help my anxiety. Have you found this helpful for your anxiety? If so, share your thoughts in the comments below.

Depression has affected my self-esteem lately, making me feel like nothing I do is ever good enough. These days, I often have this question at the top of my mind: Should I just stop trying and give up? Sometimes, I feel I should keep going anyway; at other times, I am convinced I need a break. Tired of this conflict, I decided to write about it. Here's what I realized about thinking nothing I do is good enough.

Why Am I Feeling As if Nothing I Do Is Good Enough? 

Despite my best efforts, things haven't been going my way since the beginning of this year. Virtually everything is falling apart -- whether it's my physical health or work life. Initially, I attributed my setbacks to a bad phase. However, one can only blame luck and circumstances to a certain extent. After some time, I began to blame myself. Once the blame set in, frustration came along, and finally, depression showed up (and hasn't left). Depression often affects my self-esteem, so for the past two weeks, I have been feeling as if nothing I do is ever good enough. 

How I Plan to Deal with the Feeling That Nothing I Do Is Good Enough

Feeling like nothing I do is good enough is incredibly disheartening and isn't something I would wish on my worst enemy. As I write this post, I can see that I am tired of trying and need a break to recover from the issues I have been actively dealing with since January 2024. Therefore, I have decided to stop pushing myself to keep moving forward and take a break to focus on self-care instead. My decision may seem cowardly because society has conditioned us to keep going no matter how tired and broken we are. But as my therapist says, prioritizing wellbeing is one of the most courageous things a person can do, especially when feeling like nothing I do is good enough.

If you or someone you know is struggling with similar feelings, know this: you are not alone. Life is far from easy, and it's only human to get overwhelmed sometimes. Overwhelm can cause depression, and depression can lead to feelings of inadequacy. It's okay to pause and take a break, and it's crucial to show yourself the same compassion you would offer to a friend in need. Most importantly, remember that you are worthy -- irrespective of your achievements and failures.

By accepting my need for rest and acknowledging that I do not need to do anything to prove my worth, I'm taking proactive steps to build my self-esteem and stop thinking that nothing I do is good enough. And I hope, for your sake, you will follow suit. Because as cheesy as it may sound, trying is good enough. 

Managing finances when you have a mental illness can be complicated. The dreaded "your account is overdrawn" bank email and I were well acquainted while my mental health declined. I felt a heavy sense of guilt when it came to my finances. My reluctance to face my situation and the shame I felt asking for help created a snowball of dread. Mental illness can make managing finances more difficult, but it isn't a hopeless situation, and it shouldn't be a source of shame.

My Finances While Mentally Ill

I was scared of opening bills, checking account balances, and digging into how I spent money. My financial status was unpleasant at best.

For example, mail used to be my enemy. I would leave piles of unopened mail sitting for weeks. It didn't seem like a big deal until I went three months without paying a school loan. Not only did I have to pay three months at once, plus late fees, but my credit took a significant hit.

I routinely missed deadlines, overspent, and maxed out my credit card. I didn't understand finances, and I felt I wasn't smart enough to. I spent money on things that I thought would make me feel better. Maybe that was an expensive coffee or a round of drinks. I felt I had fallen so far behind that I didn't have the energy to care anymore.

My finances while mentally ill were a big problem.

How Mental Illness Impacts Personal Finances

Some people with mental illness struggle with low energy, while others may struggle with the ability to maintain attention. Both can impact the motivation to build a budget, check on account balances, pay bills, or even keep consistent, paying work.

Mental illness can also manifest in one's spending. That may be "retail therapy" in an attempt to cope. Or the money could be funding an addiction as an escape, causing harm to one's mental health and bank account.

On top of emotional stressors and fear, there are extra expenses that come with mental illness. There's the price of medication, doctor visits, specialists, therapy, and even hospital or rehabilitation stays. Mental illness has definitely impacted my finances. Looking back on my journey, I've easily spent over $10,000 on mental health assistance.

Managing Finances with a Mental Illness

When managing mental illness, it can feel like there is so much happening that it's easier to ignore the problem, but that only creates bigger problems.

There are a few things I did to take control of my finances with a mental illness. First, I had to get over my fear. I was embarrassed that I didn't understand how to create a budget, how credit works, interest rates, or debt payment strategies. After joining online groups and being more vocal with my community, I quickly realized I wasn't alone.

I got educated. By listening to podcasts, reading articles, and watching videos, I became less intimidated and more empowered. There are free resources like managing debt webinars and budget templates online. Having these tools made starting a strategy less energy-draining and scary.

I set everything to automatic. Now, I don't have to face the dreaded mail pile or remember a deadline. I also have part of my paycheck automatically put into savings, so I won't be tempted to spend that money unwisely.

Finances can be a stressful and guilt-inducing subject, especially for those with mental illness. Some strategies make managing finances more doable, but it's not easy. There's no shame in asking for help or learning the basics. Some factors can be controlled, and many cannot be, so grace and patience are essential on this journey to stability.

For me, self-esteem and Earth Day are connected. As someone who has experienced the ups and downs of a mental health condition, I understand the ongoing struggle to find ways to boost self-esteem and cultivate a sense of purpose. Amidst this journey, I stumbled upon a source of solace and empowerment that I did not anticipate when I was younger: Earth Day practices and sustainable living. Earth Day occurs on April 22 and is an annual celebration that reminds us of the importance of our only habitat. Earth Day can be used to cultivate improved self-esteem. 

In a world often fraught with stress and uncertainty, Earth Day serves as a poignant reminder of the interconnectedness between us and the natural world. For me, embracing sustainable living principles has become more than just an environmental endeavor; rather, it has become a profound source of gratitude and self-worth. 

Shifting Perspective Is an Earth Day Principle That Boosts Self-Esteem

One of the most transformative aspects of adopting sustainable habits is the shift in perspective it fosters. Rather than viewing myself solely as a consumer, I now see myself as a steward of the Earth, entrusted with the responsibility to protect and preserve it for future generations. This shift from a mindset of consumption to one of conservation has been instrumental in shaping my sense of self-worth. Knowing that my actions, no matter how small, contribute to the greater good of the planet fills me with a sense of purpose and fulfillment that transcends any temporary setbacks or challenges that I may face. 

Moreover, practicing gratitude for the Earth has had a profound impact on my mental wellbeing. Taking the time to appreciate the beauty of nature, from the gentle rustle of leaves in the wind to the vibrant hues of a sunset, has become a daily ritual that grounds me and instills a sense of peace. Through this practice, I have learned to find joy in the simple pleasures of life and to cultivate a deep sense of gratitude for the abundance that surrounds me. This shift in perspective around Earth Day has helped my self-esteem.

Connecting with the Greater Purpose of Earth Day Improves Self-Esteem

Additionally, sustainable living has provided me with a tangible way to take control of my own destiny. In a world where so much feels beyond our grasp, making conscious choices to reduce waste, conserve resources, and tread lightly on the Earth empowers me to enact positive change in my own life and in the world around me. Each eco-friendly decision I make, from choosing reusable products to minimizing my carbon footprint, serves as a testament to my ability to effect change, no matter how small. 

Earth Day practices and sustainable living offer a transformative pathway to cultivating gratitude and self-worth, especially for those of us navigating mental health challenges. By embracing our role as stewards of the Earth, practicing gratitude for the natural world, and taking proactive steps to live more sustainably, we can find empowerment, purpose, and fulfillment amidst life's challenges. As we celebrate Earth Day and beyond, let us remember the profound impact that our individual actions can have on the world, as well as our own wellbeing and self-esteem. 

I should be able to fix my own depression -- or at least that's what the world keeps telling me. We have a lot of euphemisms for it: pulling yourself up by your bootstraps, walking it off, turning that frown upside down, and so on. And the Internet is full of New Age gurus (and lay people) claiming to know the secret of how to do it -- just buy my book and wave your depression goodbye. But if everyone says it's possible, why can't I fix my own depression?

Why Do People Tell Me I Can Fix My Own Depression?

There is big money in telling people they can fix their own depressions. You can use that idea to sell books, tinctures, videos, courses, herbs, and a million other things. There are "enterprising" people everywhere who will take advantage of this notion.

Not only that, but if a person has been through something they consider to be depression and have gotten through it, they really want to tell you about it. They fixed their own depression, so you can fix your own depression, too.

This is a cacophony of misinformation and disinformation.

And all of this pressure tends to make people think they can fix their own depression, and if they can't, then something is wrong with them.

What Is the Depression You Can Fix Yourself?

Let's take a look at what is and what isn't depression.

Having a few blue days, temporary sadness due to a life event like a death or divorce, or sadness that doesn't affect your daily, ongoing life -- these things are not clinical depression. They are sadness. They are part of the human experience. They are unpleasant but not destructive. They do not make you suicidal. A person may need time to deal with one of these things. A person may even need help to deal with these things (grief counseling, for example, is common), but they are not a medical condition.*

People experiencing these things might say they're "so depressed," but what they really mean is that they're so sad, upset, overwhelmed, or another descriptor.

Depression, on the other hand, is a mental illness. It has ongoing symptoms that range from appetite and sleep changes and feelings of guilt to suicidality. It impairs daily functioning. It affects jobs and relationships. It can actually cost a person their life. It is a medical condition.

Just from that description, you can see that due to their severity levels, depression and sadness are in different worlds. 

Nonetheless, society often doesn't make this distinction. Everything seems to be categorized as depression, and we are sold the notion that we can fix our own depression.

Is Something Wrong with Me If I Can't Fix My Own Depression?

In short no, nothing is wrong with you. People who have real, clinical, major depression are dealing with a medical illness. Medical illnesses require actual treatment. You get that treatment from a professional. You can't fix a mental illness yourself any more than you can fix another type of illness like cancer.

I understand why anyone, myself included, would feel like they should be able to fix their own depression. That idea is everywhere. But it just isn't reasonable.

So, give yourself a break. There is nothing wrong with you for needing help. Doctors trained for years for just such an occurrence. If you can't fix your own depression, that means one thing: it means you're normal.

* Note that what starts as a life event can lead to clinical depression. Duration and severity differ in these cases.