Snow Day!

Here in NJ we got tons of snow! Schools were being cancelled last night. I thought that choir practice was going to be cancelled as well but I'm really glad that it wasn't because it was definitely worth going to. The alto's aren't soo hot right now because they haven't been learning their parts for the songs like they're supposed to. Oh well, not really my problem. The Sop 2's are holding their own and that's all I can ask for!

Since it's a snow day, everybody is home. Now, I personally need my alone time so, this bugs the shit out of me. It's noon time now and I've made it through two hours of people being home-lol. My brother isn't that bad; I can handle him. Mom is trying to sleep on the couch which honestly gets under my skin because it's the middle of the afternoon, WHY are you sleeping??! Whenever I slept in the middle of the day, she always used to yell at me, saying it was the depression getting the best of me and how I shouldn't avoid things and blah blah blah. Well, practice what you preach mother! BUT, she doesn't. My therapist knows it too. Actually, she has seen it. That, however, is another blog entry. Once I'm home alone and can think and can trust that people aren't watching what I'm typing (bc our computer is in the living room/main area of the house), then I'll do like an intro entry and go more indepth about myself. Last but not least, there's my father, who I really don't favor. He tries to talk to me like I care, comments like I want to know, and complains like nothing is his fault. I can't take it. Take responsibility for your own damn actions. Hell, just go back to work and STAY there! He gets under my skin but I'm trying my best not to let that get to me, at least not today.

My evaluation for Princeton House is Thursday at 3pm. We'll see what they say and if I qualify for a program. It'll be interesting to see what they say because most people can't see past my high functioning level. They don't understand how I can get up in the morning and go to work and school and do well while I could be cutting and depressed, even suicidal at times, and dissociating. However, that is what I do. I function very highly. Why?-because that's what I've always done. If I wasn't high functioning then people would suspect something was wrong and I don't want that; I want to hide it. SO, I do what's acceptable to society--I put myself into work and school 100% that way, nobody thinks anything of it. The people who know me know that this is what I do and are aware of it. I have gotten better though. The only problem is what to say when people ask me, "How are you?" This too is for another blog entry but long story short, I never know how to answer them. Are people asking to be polite or asking because they really want to know? In my opinion, I'd rather people not ask if they don't really want the truth.

Well, this is it for now. I hope that I use this site often and don't forget about it like facebook and myspace-lol.