Healing river.....

This one needs to be short because I have an appt. in an hour. I'm going to meet with Paula to start sessions regarding my past sexual abuse. I anticipate this being very rough! I've tried to write in journals and talk to a few people in the past and have gotten to the point of near mental disability. I was forced to, again, repress the information and abort the mission to resolve. I'm confident that I'll be OK this time. Paula will be there and I have 24 hour access to help and support through the family center. I was refered to Paula through the director. She is very good, so I'm told.

Ted and I aren't speaking. I just want to stay here in my apt. away from him right now. I think I'll mention that to Paula. I know it's not the best thing but it is the easiest right now; for both of us!!

I spent a few hours on the river yesterday and it felt good. I used to go there when I was a kid to get away from my Dad and the confinements of depression. The sound of the water rushing by and the roar of the water spilling over the dam is comforting. It drowns out the world. There were people all around me but I couldn't hear them for the water. The moisture in the air makes me feel cleansed, inside and out. The movement of the water and the wind lends a sense of healing. It is truly nature's therapy!! You oughta try it.

~Meli