Checking in with myself...

I'm functioning.

I have learned how to check in with myself to see how I'm doing.

I know how to stay out of emotional mind.

I know how to determine when I am in emotional mind and how to get out of it, but more importantly, how not to make things worse for myself.

 My only problem left is the triggers.  Things that make me feel bad because they remind me of how I screwed up my chance at marrying a wonderful man whom I'm still in love with.  I'm still dealing with that loss though I can now finally accept it.  Sort of. It doesn't feel as bad as it did before but it is still able to bring me to tears at the drop of a hat.

I also noticed that by ever pursuing my ex I don't have to deal with my loneliness.  I also don't have to deal with this protective wall I've built around myself to keep me far away from men.  Men who only want one thing from me and who will only use me and hurt me.  By staying focused on one unattainable man, I don't have to face my love life.  Or lack of one.