Am I Doing Enough? Should I Do More?

Today I watched an episode of Entourage. It was the last episode of the seventh season where the main character loses complete control of himself due to his new found lifestyle, a destructive one at that. And like many other films or TV shows, when something dark resonates with me, I fall into a depression. In this particular case, I know that the sense of no control is a deep seated fear of mine. Feeling jailed in the thought of powerlessness, lack of purpose, lack of direction, and despair scares me to the point of paralysis, figuratively speaking. I can't, or at least extremely struggle, with living life. Something so simple and mundane, like running simple errands, changes from tiny hurdles to a trek over mountain ranges. That episode hit a nerve, maybe more than one, brought fears I've been pushing back to the surface. If this depression is the cause of that, I need to be more proactive in how I approach my life and what I'm doing to improve my 'mental management'. Or maybe I'm being too hard on myself. I don't know. I just can't stay down like this for too long or I'll make dumb decisions that f**k things up for me....again.