Rolfing Structural Integration

Learn about Rolfing, deep tissue massage for relieving stress and improving mobility. May be helpful for chronic fatigue syndrome too.

Learn about Rolfing, deep tissue massage for relieving stress and improving mobility. May be helpful for chronic fatigue syndrome too.

Before engaging in any complementary medical technique, you should be aware that many of these techniques have not been evaluated in scientific studies. Often, only limited information is available about their safety and effectiveness. Each state and each discipline has its own rules about whether practitioners are required to be professionally licensed. If you plan to visit a practitioner, it is recommended that you choose one who is licensed by a recognized national organization and who abides by the organization's standards. It is always best to speak with your primary health care provider before starting any new therapeutic technique.

Background

After receiving her Ph.D. in biological chemistry from Columbia University, New York, in 1920, Dr. Ida P. Rolf developed Rolfing® structural integration. She established the Guild for Structural Integration in the 1960s and the Rolf Institute of Structural Integration in Boulder, Colo., in 1971.

Rolfing® structural integration involves deep tissue massage aimed at relieving stress and improving mobility, posture, balance, muscle function and efficiency, energy and overall well being. Practitioners apply slow-moving pressure with their knuckles, thumbs, fingers, elbows and knees to the muscles, tissue around the muscles and other soft tissue. Rolfing® structural integration concentrates on opposing muscle groups, such as the biceps and triceps in the upper arms.

Certified Rolfing® practitioners are certified by the Rolf Institute to deliver structural integration services. Training may take one to two years to complete (731 to 806 hours). Principles and techniques are based on the work of Dr. Rolf. Rolfing® structural integration has also been referred to as somatic ontology.


 


Theory

Rolfing® structural integration is based on the belief that the tissues surrounding muscles become stiff and thickened with age, leading to musculoskeletal dysfunction and misalignment of the body. By working the muscles and muscle tissue, practitioners aim to improve these problems. Practitioners assert that people who undergo this therapy will become more comfortable with their movements and more aware of their body in space, and they will experience improved alignment.

Evidence

Scientists have studied Rolfing® structural integration for the following uses:

Low back pain
There is a report of a young adult with chronic low back pain and pelvic asymmetry who improved with Rolfing® structural integration. This is not enough information to form a firm conclusion about the effectiveness of Rolfing® structural integration for back pain.

Cerebral palsy
A small study in cerebral palsy patients receiving Rolfing® structural integration reports slight benefits in movement. This is not enough information to form a clear conclusion about effectiveness.

Chronic fatigue syndrome
A small study evaluated the effects of Rolfing® structural integration on cardiovascular endurance in people with chronic fatigue syndrome. Patients showed improvement in symptoms. A large, well-designed study is necessary to confirm these preliminary results and make a conclusion.


Unproven Uses

Rolfing® structural integration has been suggested for many uses, based on tradition or on scientific theories. However, these uses have not been thoroughly studied in humans, and there is limited scientific evidence about safety or effectiveness. Some of these suggested uses are for conditions that are potentially life-threatening. Consult with a health care provider before using Rolfing® structural integration for any use.

Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis
Anxiety
Balance
B-cell cancers
Carpal tunnel syndrome
Energy boosting
Enhanced absorption of insulin injections
Headache
Hyperthyroidism
Improved appearance
Improved athletic performance
Improved mobility
Internal strains
Lumbar lordosis
Meningioma
Muscular pain in craniocervicomandibular syndrome
Neck pain
Osteoarthritis
Parkinson's disease
Poor posture
Soft tissue disorders
Spinal problems
Stress
Whiplash

Potential Dangers

Rolfing® structural integration is generally believed to be safe in most people. Because Rolfing® structural integration involves deep manipulation of tissues, some people should avoid this technique, including people with broken bones, severe osteoporosis, disease of the spine or vertebral disks, skin damage or wounds, bleeding disorders, or blood clots in areas being manipulated. People taking blood thinners such as warfarin (Coumadin) should also avoid Rolfing® structural integration. People with joint diseases such as rheumatoid arthritis, ankylosing spondylitis or aortic aneurisms should speak with their health care provider if considering Rolfing® structural integration.

People who have had procedures or diseases affecting the abdomen should speak with their health care provider before starting Rolfing® structural integration. There is a report that deep tissue massage moved a ureteral stent out of its proper position.


 


Pregnant women should avoid Rolfing® structural integration.

Some certified Rolfing® practitioners discourage structural integration services in people with psychosis or bipolar disorder and suggest that therapy may cause the release of suppressed memories of severe emotional anguish, although there is no known scientific basis for these precautions. It has also been suggested that Rolfing® structural integration be used cautiously in women who are menstruating and in people with severe diseases of the kidneys, liver or intestines, although there is no scientific information in these areas.

Rolfing® structural integration should not be used as the sole therapeutic approach to disease, and it should not delay the time it takes to speak with a health care provider about a potentially severe condition.

Summary

Rolfing® structural integration has been suggested for many conditions. There is little well-designed scientific research of this technique, and it is not known if Rolfing® structural integration is safe or effective for the treatment of any disease. People with fractures or spine disease, those at risk of bleeding, those with blood clots and pregnant women should avoid Rolfing® structural integration.

The information in this monograph was prepared by the professional staff at Natural Standard, based on thorough systematic review of scientific evidence. The material was reviewed by the Faculty of the Harvard Medical School with final editing approved by Natural Standard.


Resources

  1. Natural Standard: An organization that produces scientifically based reviews of complementary and alternative medicine (CAM) topics
  2. National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine (NCCAM): A division of the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services dedicated to research

Selected Scientific Studies: Rolfing® Structural Integration

Natural Standard reviewed more than 45 articles to prepare the professional monograph from which this version was created.

Some of the available studies are listed below:

    1. Bernau-Eigen M. Rolfing: a somatic approach to the integration of human structures. Nurse Pract Forum 1998;9(4):235-242.
    2. Cameron DF, Hushen JJ, Colina L, et al. Formation and structure of transplantable tissue constructs generated in simulated microgravity from sertoli cells and neuron precursors. Cell Transplant 2004;13(7-8):755-763.
    3. Cottingham JT, Maitland J. A three-paradigm treatment model using soft tissue mobilization and guided movement-awareness techniques for a patient with chronic low back pain: a case study. J Orthoped Sports Phys Ther 1997;26(3):155-167.
    4. Cottingham JT, Porges SW, Lyon T. Effects of soft tissue mobilization (Rolfing pelvic lift) on parasympathetic tone in two age groups. Phys Ther 1988;68(3):352-356.
    5. Cottingham JT, Porges SW, Richmond K. Shifts in pelvic inclination angle and parasympathetic tone produced by Rolfing soft tissue manipulation. Phys Ther 1988;68(9):1364-1370.
    6. Deutsch JE, Derr LL, Judd P, et al. Treatment of chronic pain through the use of structural integration (rolfing). Orthopaedic Phys Ther Clin North America 2000;9(3):411-425.

 


  1. Froment Y. Therapeutic renewal. Rolfing or structural integration. Krankenpfl Soins Infirm 1984; 77(6); 68-69.
  2. Goffard JC, Jin L, Mircescu H, et al. Gene expression profile in thyroid of transgenic mice overexpressing the adenosine receptor 2a. Mol Endocrinol 2004;18(1):194-213.
  3. James HG, Robertson KB, Powers N. Biomechanical structuring for figure skaters. Preliminary pilot study report presented to the USFSA Research Committee, 1988; pp. 1-22.
  4. Jones TA. Rolfing. Phys Med Rehabil Clin N Am 2004;15(4):799-809.
  5. Kerr HD. Ureteral stent displacement associated with deep massage. WMJ 1997;96(12):57-58.
  6. Perry J, Jones MH, Thomas L. Functional evaluation of Rolfing in cerebral palsy. Dev Med Child Neurol 1981;23(6):717-729.
  7. Rolf IP. Structural Integration. J Institute Compar Study History Philos Sciences 1963;1(1):3-19.
  8. Rolf IP. Structural integration: a contribution to the understanding of stress. Confin Psychiatr 1973;16(2):69-79.
  9. Rosa G, Piris MA. IgV(H) and bc16 somatic mutation analysis reveals the heterogenicity of cutaneous B-cell lymphoma, and indicates the presence of undisclosed local antigens. Mod Pathol 2004;17(6):623-630.
  10. Santoro F, Maiorana C, Geirola R. Neuromascular relaxation and CCMDP. Rolfing and applied kinesiology. Dent Cadmos 1989; 57(17):76-80.
  11. Silverman J, Rappaport M, Hopkins HK, et al. Stress, stimulus intensity control, and the structural integration technique. Confin Psychiatr 1973;16(3):201-219.
  12. Sulman EP, White PS, Brodeur GM. Genomic annotation of the meningioma tumor suppressor locus on chromosome 1p34. Oncogene 2004;23(4):1014-1020.
  13. Talty CM, DeMasi I, Deutsch JE. Structural integration applied to patients with chronic fatigue syndrome: a retrospective chart review. J Orthopaedic Sports Phys Ther 1998;27(1):83.
  14. Weinberg RS, Hunt VV. Effects of structural integration on state-trait anxiety. J Clin Psychol 1979;35(2):319-322.

back to: Alternative Medicine Home ~ Alternative Medicine Treatments

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, December 2). Rolfing Structural Integration, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, October 5 from https://www.healthyplace.com/alternative-mental-health/treatments/rolfing-structural-integration

Last Updated: July 10, 2016

Reiki for Psychological Disorders

Learn about Reiki, a form of alternative healing, that may reduce levels of depression, stress and pain.

Learn about Reiki, a form of alternative healing, that may reduce levels of depression, stress and pain.

Before engaging in any complementary medical technique, you should be aware that many of these techniques have not been evaluated in scientific studies. Often, only limited information is available about their safety and effectiveness. Each state and each discipline has its own rules about whether practitioners are required to be professionally licensed. If you plan to visit a practitioner, it is recommended that you choose one who is licensed by a recognized national organization and who abides by the organization's standards. It is always best to speak with your primary health care provider before starting any new therapeutic technique.

Background

The practice of Reiki, which may be as old as 2,500 years, is mentioned in Tibetan sutras and in ancient records of cosmology and philosophy. The name Reiki comes from the Japanese words rei, meaning "universal spirit," and ki, meaning "life energy." The Japanese physician and Buddhist monk Hichau Mikao Usui revitalized the practice of Reiki in the 19th century. Hawayo Tokata introduced Usui Reiki to the West in the 1930s.

Theory

Reiki practitioners believe that beneficial effects are obtained from a "universal life energy" that practitioners channel to patients, providing strength, harmony and balance to the body and mind. Reiki aims to treat health problems and to enable patients to feel enlightened, with improved mental clarity, well-being and spirituality. Reiki is sometimes administered to people who are dying, with the goal of instilling a sense of peace. Reiki masters believe that all living beings are affected by universal life energy, and animals may be treated in the same manner as humans.


 


It has been proposed that Reiki can lower heart rate and blood pressure, boost the immune system, alter hormone levels, stimulate endorphins and affect skin temperature and blood hemoglobin levels. However, these properties have not been well studied or clearly demonstrated in scientific studies.

In Reiki treatments, practitioners position their hands in 12 to 15 different positions, which are held for two to five minutes each. They may place their hands directly on a clothed patient or hold their hands one to two inches above the patient. Practitioners believe that hand positions can cover all of the body systems within 30 to 90 minutes. The number of sessions varies based on the judgment of the practitioner. Participants have reported warmth, tingling, sleepiness, relaxation or invigoration during Reiki.

Sometimes a technique called sweeping is used at the beginning of a session; sweeping involves the practitioner passing hands over the patient. This technique is proposed to allow the practitioner to detect areas of energy disruption, imbalance or blockage and allows the practitioner to cleanse patients of negative feelings, emotions or physical burdens.

Evidence

Scientists have studied Reiki for the following health problem:

Autonomic nervous system function
One randomized trial suggests Reiki may have an effect on autonomic nervous system functions, such as heart rate, blood pressure, or breathing activity. Large, well-designed studies are needed before conclusions can be drawn.

Depression and stress
There is evidence that Reiki can reduce symptoms of distress when compared with placebo. More information is needed before a conclusion can be drawn.

Pain
Patients in a preliminary ("phase II") trial of Reiki in combination with standard pain medications (with opioids) were reported to experience improved pain control. Further research is needed to confirm these findings.

Stroke recovery
In a randomized controlled trial, Reiki did not have any clinically useful effect on stroke recovery in patients receiving appropriate rehabilitation therapy. Selective positive effects on mood and energy were noted.


Unproven Uses

Reiki has been suggested for many other uses, based on tradition or on scientific theories. However, these uses have not been thoroughly studied in humans, and there is limited scientific evidence about safety or effectiveness. Some of these suggested uses are for conditions that are potentially life-threatening. Consult with a health care provider before using Reiki for any use.

Addiction
Adjunct to surgery
AIDS
Alcoholism
Allergies
Anemia
Anger
Anxiety
Arthritis
Asthma
Bone marrow transplant support
Brain damage
Breast cancer
Broken bones
Cancer
Cardiopulmonary resuscitation
Cardiovascular disease
Cardiovascular risk reduction
Carpal tunnel syndrome
Cellulitis
Cervical dysplasia
Chemical burns
Chronic pain
Diabetes
Diabetic neuropathy
Diabetic wound healing
Drug withdrawal
Emotional problems
Emphysema
Epilepsy
Fatigue
Fibromyalgia
Gallstones
Grief
Guillain-Barré syndrome (a type of nerve damage)
Guilt
Headache
Heart attack
Hemophilia
Hemorrhoids
Hernia
Herpes zoster
Hiccough
High blood pressure
HIV
HIV-related pain and anxiety
Hysterectomy
Impotence
Labor
Mental problems
Migraine headache
Multiple sclerosis
Muscle spasms
Nervous system function
Neuropathy
Nosebleeds
Postoperative pain
Post-traumatic stress disorder
Pregnancy
Promotion of healing
Prostate problems
Psoriasis
Radiation sickness
Rash
Recovery from anesthesia
Reduction of adverse effects of chemotherapy and radiation
Reflex sympathetic dystrophy
Relaxation
Rheumatoid arthritis
Sickle cell anemia
Sinus congestion
Suicide prevention
Systemic lupus erythematosus
Trauma
Tremor
Ulcers
Varicose veins
Venereal diseases
Warts
Wound healing

 


Potential Dangers

Reiki is not recommended as the sole treatment for potentially serious medical conditions, and its use should not delay the time it takes to consult with a health care provider or receive established therapies. Serious adverse effects have not been reported in association with Reiki. Some Reiki practitioners believe that Reiki should be used cautiously in individuals with psychiatric illnesses.

Summary

Reiki has been suggested for many health conditions, but it is not well studied scientifically. Reiki should not be used alone to treat potentially dangerous medical conditions, although it may be used in addition to more proven medical treatments. Speak with your health care provider if you are considering Reiki therapy.

The information in this monograph was prepared by the professional staff at Natural Standard, based on thorough systematic review of scientific evidence. The material was reviewed by the Faculty of the Harvard Medical School with final editing approved by Natural Standard.


Resources

  1. Natural Standard: An organization that produces scientifically based reviews of complementary and alternative medicine (CAM) topics
  2. National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine (NCCAM): A division of the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services dedicated to research

Selected Scientific Studies: Reiki

Natural Standard reviewed more than 135 articles to prepare the professional monograph from which this version was created.

Some of the more recent studies are listed below:

    1. Astin JA, Harkness E, Ernst E. The efficacy of "distant healing": a systematic review of randomized trials. Ann Intern Med 2000;132(11):903-910.
    2. Eliopoulos C. Integrative care-Reiki. Director 2003;Spring, 11(2):46.
    3. Fleming D. Reiki: a gift and a skill anyone can learn. Beginnings 2003;Jan-Feb, 23(1):12-13.
    4. Kennedy P. Working with survivors of torture in Sarajevo with Reiki. Complement Ther Nurs Midwifery 2001;7(1):4-7.
    5. Mackay N, Hansen S, McFarlane O. Autonomic nervous system changes during Reiki treatment: a preliminary study. J Altern Complement Med 2004;10(6):1077-1081.
    6. Miles P. Preliminary report on the use of Reiki HIV-related pain and anxiety. Altern Ther Health Med 2003;Mar-Apr, 9(2):36.
    7. Miles P. Reiki vibrational healing. Interview by Bonnie Horrigan. Alt Ther Health Med 2003;Jul-Aug, 9(4):74-83.
    8. Miles P, True G. Reiki-review of a biofield therapy history, theory, practice and research. Alt Ther Health Med 2003;Mar-Apr, 9(2):62-72. Comment in: Alt Ther Health Med 2003;Mar-Apr, 9(2):20-21.
    9. Olson K, Hanson J, Michaud M. A phase II trial of Reiki for the management of pain in advanced cancer patients. J Pain Symptom Manage 2003;26(5):990-997.

 


  1. Potter P. What are the distinctions between Reiki and therapeutic touch? Clin J Oncol Nurs 2003;Jan-Feb, 7(1):89-91.
  2. Scales B. CAMPing in the PACU: using complementary and alternative medical practices in the PACU. J Perianesth Nurs 2001;16(5):325-334.
  3. Schmehr R. Enhancing the treatment of HIV/AIDS with Reiki training and treatment. Alt Ther Health Med 2003;Mar-Apr, 9(2):120, 118.
  4. Schflett SC, Nayak S, Bid C, et al. Effect of Reiki treatments on functional recovery in patients in poststroke rehabilitation: a pilot study. J Alt Compl Med 2002;Dec, 8(6):691-693.
  5. Schiller R. Reiki: a starting point for integrative medicine. Alt Ther Health Med 2003;Mar-Apr, 9(2):62-72.
  6. Shore AG. Long-term effects of energetic healing on symptoms of psychological depression and self-perceived stress. Altern Ther Health Med 2004;10(3):42-48.
  7. Wardell DW, Engebretson J. Biological correlates of Reiki Touch(sm) healing. J Adv Nurs 2001;33(4):439-445.
  8. Whelan KM, Wishnia GS. Reiki therapy: the benefits to a nurse/Reiki practitioner. Holist Nurs Pract 2003;Jul-Aug, 17(4):209-201.
  9. Witte D, Dundes L. Harnessing life energy or wishful thinking? Reiki, placebo Reiki, meditation, and music. Altern Compl Ther 2001;7(5):304-309.
  10. Wong SS, Nahin RL. National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine perspectives for complementary and alternative medicine research in cardiovascular diseases. Cardiol Rev 2003;Mar-Apr, 11(2):94-98.

back to: Alternative Medicine Home ~ Alternative Medicine Treatments

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, December 2). Reiki for Psychological Disorders, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, October 5 from https://www.healthyplace.com/alternative-mental-health/treatments/reiki-for-psychological-disorders

Last Updated: July 10, 2016

Narcissism with Other Mental Health Disorders (Co-Morbidity and Dual Diagnosis)

Question:

Does narcissism often occur with other mental health disorders (co-morbidity) or with substance abuse (dual diagnosis)?

Answer:

NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) is often diagnosed with other mental health disorders (such as the Borderline, Histrionic, or Antisocial personality disorders). This is called "co-morbidity". It is also often accompanied by substance abuse and other reckless and impulsive behaviors and this is called "dual diagnosis".

The Schizoid and Paranoid Personality Disorders

The basic dynamic of this particular brand of co-morbidity goes like this:

    1. The narcissist feels superior, unique, entitled and better than his fellow men. He thus tends to despise them, to hold them in contempt and to regard them as lowly and subservient beings.
    2. The narcissist feels that his time is invaluable, his mission of cosmic importance, his contributions to humanity priceless. He, therefore, demands total obedience and catering to his ever-changing needs. Any demands on his time and resources is deemed to be both humiliating and wasteful.
    3. But the narcissist is dependent on input from other people for the performance of certain ego functions (such as the regulation of his sense of self worth). Without Narcissistic Supply (adulation, adoration, attention), the narcissist shrivels and withers and is dysphoric (=depressed).
    4. The narcissist resents this dependence. He is furious at himself for his neediness and - in a typical narcissistic maneuver (called "alloplastic defence") - he blames others for his anger. He displaces his rage and its roots.
    5. Many narcissists are paranoids. This means that they are afraid of people and of what people might do to them. Wouldn't you be scared and paranoid if your very life depended continually on the goodwill of others? The narcissist's very life depends on others providing him with Narcissistic Supply. He becomes suicidal if they stop doing so.
    6. To counter this overwhelming feeling of helplessness (=dependence on Narcissistic Supply), the narcissist becomes a control freak. He sadistically manipulates others to satisfy his needs. He derives pleasure from the utter subjugation of his human environment.
    7. Finally, the narcissist is a latent masochist. He seeks punishment, castigation and ex-communication. This self-destruction is the only way to validate powerful voices he had internalized as a child ("you are a bad, rotten, hopeless child").

The narcissistic landscape is fraught with contradictions. The narcissist depends on people - but hates and despises them. He wants to control them unconditionally - but is also looking to punish himself savagely. He is terrified of persecution ("persecutory delusions") - but seeks the company of his own "persecutors" compulsively.

The narcissist is the victim of incompatible inner dynamics, ruled by numerous vicious circles, pushed and pulled simultaneously by irresistible forces. A minority of narcissists choose the schizoid solution. They choose, in effect, to disengage, both emotionally and socially. See more on Narcissists and Schizoids in FAQ 67.

Read more about the narcissist's reactions to deficient Narcissistic Supply:

The Delusional Way Out

The Roots of Paranoia

HPD (Histrionic Personality Disorder) and Somatic NPD

"Somatic narcissists" acquire their Narcissistic Supply by making use of their bodies, of sex, of physical of physiological achievements, traits, health, exercise, or relationships. They possess many Histrionic features.

Click here to read the DSM-IV-TR (2000) definition of the Histrionic Personality Disorder.

Narcissists and Depression

Many scholars consider pathological narcissism to be a form of depressive illness. This is the position of the authoritative magazine "Psychology Today". The life of the typical narcissist is, indeed, punctuated with recurrent bouts of dysphoria (ubiquitous sadness and hopelessness), anhedonia (loss of the ability to feel pleasure), and clinical forms of depression (cyclothymic, dysthymic, or other). This picture is further obfuscated by the frequent presence of mood disorders, such as Bipolar I (co-morbidity).


 


While the distinction between reactive (exogenous) and endogenous depression is obsolete, it is still useful in the context of narcissism. Narcissists react with depression not only to life crises but to fluctuations in Narcissistic Supply.

The narcissist's personality is disorganised and precariously balanced. He regulates his sense of self-worth by consuming Narcissistic Supply from others. Any threat to the uninterrupted flow of said supply compromises his psychological integrity and his ability to function. It is perceived by the narcissist as life threatening.

I. Loss Induced Dysphoria

This is the narcissist's depressive reaction to the loss of one or more Sources of Narcissistic Supply or to the disintegration of a Pathological Narcissistic Space (PN Space, his stalking or hunting grounds, the social unit whose members lavish him with attention).

II. Deficiency Induced Dysphoria

Deep and acute depression which follows the aforementioned losses of Supply Sources or a PN Space. Having mourned these losses, the narcissist now grieves their inevitable outcome the absence or deficiency of Narcissistic Supply. Paradoxically, this dysphoria energises the narcissist and moves him to find new Sources of Supply to replenish his dilapidated stock (thus initiating a Narcissistic Cycle).

III. Self-Worth Dysregulation Dysphoria

The narcissist reacts with depression to criticism or disagreement, especially from a trusted and long-term Source of Narcissistic Supply. He fears the imminent loss of the source and the damage to his own, fragile, mental balance. The narcissist also resents his vulnerability and his extreme dependence on feedback from others. This type of depressive reaction is, therefore, a mutation of self-directed aggression.

IV. Grandiosity Gap Dysphoria

The narcissist's firmly, though counterfactually, perceives himself as omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent, brilliant, accomplished, irresistible, immune, and invincible. Any data to the contrary is usually filtered, altered, or discarded altogether. Still, sometimes reality intrudes and creates a Grandiosity Gap. The narcissist is forced to face his mortality, limitations, ignorance, and relative inferiority. He sulks and sinks into an incapacitating but short-lived dysphoria.

V. Self-Punishing Dysphoria

Deep inside, the narcissist hates himself and doubts his own worth. He deplores his desperate addiction to Narcissistic Supply. He judges his actions and intentions harshly and sadistically. He may be unaware of these dynamics but they are at the heart of the narcissistic disorder and the reason the narcissist had to resort to narcissism as a defence mechanism in the first place.

This inexhaustible well of ill will, self-chastisement, self-doubt, and self-directed aggression yields numerous self-defeating and self-destructive behaviours from reckless driving and substance abuse to suicidal ideation and constant depression.

It is the narcissist's ability to confabulate that saves him from himself. His grandiose fantasies remove him from reality and prevent recurrent narcissistic injuries. Many narcissists end up delusional, schizoid, or paranoid. To avoid agonising and gnawing depression, they give up on life itself.

Dissociative Identity Disorder and NPD

Is the True Self of the narcissist the equivalent of the host personality in the DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) and the False Self one of the fragmented personalities, also known as "alters"?

The False Self is a mere construct rather than a full-fledged self. It is the locus of the narcissist's fantasies of grandiosity, his feelings of entitlement, omnipotence, magical thinking, omniscience and magical immunity. But it lacks many other functional and structural elements.

Moreover, it has no "cut-off" date. DID alters have a date of inception, usually as a reaction to trauma or abuse (they have an "age"). The False Self is a process, not an entity, it is a reactive pattern and a reactive formation. The False Self is not a self, nor is it false. It is very real, more real to the narcissist than his True Self.

As Kernberg observed, the narcissist actually vanishes and is replaced by a False Self. There is no True Self inside the narcissist. The narcissist is a hall of mirrors but the hall itself is an optical illusion created by the mirrors. Narcissism is reminiscent of a painting by Escher.


 


In DID, the emotions are segregated into personality-like internal constructs ("entities"). The notion of "unique separate multiple whole personalities" is primitive and untrue. DID is a continuum. The inner language breaks down into polyglottal chaos. In DID, emotions cannot communicate with each other for fear of provoking overwhelming pain (and its fatal consequences). So, they are being kept apart by various mechanisms (a host or birth personality, a facilitator, a moderator and so on).

All personality disorders involve a modicum of dissociation. But the narcissistic solution is to emotionally disappear altogether. Hence, the tremendous, insatiable need of the narcissist for external approval. He exists only as a reflection. Since he is forbidden to love his true self he chooses to have no self at all. It is not dissociation it is a vanishing act.

NPD is a total, "pure" solution: self-extinguishing, self-abolishing, entirely fake. Other personality disorders are diluted variations on the themes of self-hate and perpetuated self-abuse. HPD is NPD with sex and body as the source of the Narcissistic Supply. The Borderline Personality Disorder involves lability, the movement between poles of life wish and death wish and so on.

Read more about Pathological Narcissism as the Root of all Personality Disorders:

The Use and Abuse of Differential Diagnoses

Other Personality Disorders

NPD and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

NPD has been associated with Attention Deficit / Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD, or ADD) and with RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder). The rationale is that children suffering from ADHD are unlikely to develop the attachment necessary to prevent a narcissistic regression (Freud) or adaptation (Jung).

Bonding and object relations ought to be affected by ADHD. Research to supports this has yet to come to light, though. Still, many psychotherapists and psychiatrists use this linkage as a working hypothesis. Another proposed dynamic is between autistic disorders (such as Asperger's Syndrome) and narcissism.

Misdiagnosing Narcissism - Asperger's Disorder

Narcissism and Bipolar Disorder

Bipolar patients in the manic phase exhibit most of the signs and symptoms of pathological narcissism - hyperactivity, self-centeredness, and control freakery.

More about this connection here:

Misdiagnosing Narcissism - The Bipolar I Disorder

Stormberg, D., Roningstam, E., Gunderson, J., & Tohen, M. (1998) Pathological Narcissism in Bipolar Disorder Patients. Journal of Personality Disorders, 12, 179-185

Roningstam, E. (1996), Pathological Narcissism and Narcissistic Personality Disorder in Axis I Disorders. Harvard Review of Psychiatry, 3, 326-340

Narcissism and Asperger's Disorder

Asperger's Disorder is often misdiagnosed as Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), though evident as early as age 3 (while pathological narcissism cannot be safely diagnosed prior to early adolescence).

More about Autism Spectrum Disorders here:

McDowell, Maxson J. (2002) The Image of the Mother's Eye: Autism and Early Narcissistic Injury , Behavioral and Brain Sciences (Submitted)

Benis, Anthony - "Toward Self & Sanity: On the Genetic Origins of the Human Character" - Narcissistic-Perfectionist Personality Type (NP) with special reference to infantile autism

Stringer, Kathi (2003) An Object Relations Approach to Understanding Unusual Behaviors and Disturbances

James Robert Brasic, MD, MPH (2003) Pervasive Developmental Disorder: Asperger Syndrome

Misdiagnosing Narcissism - Asperger's Disorder


 


Narcissism and Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Anxiety Disorders - and especially Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) - are often misdiagnosed as Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).

Misdiagnosing Narcissism - Generalized Anxiety Disorder

BPD, NPD and other Cluster B PDs (Personality Disorders)

All personality disorders are interrelated, at least phenomenologically. There is no Grand Unifying Theory of Psychopathology. We do not know whether there are and what are the mechanisms underlying mental disorders. At best, mental health professionals record symptoms (as reported by the patient) and signs (as observed). Then, they group them into syndromes and, more specifically, into disorders.

This is descriptive, not explanatory science. The few theories extant (psychoanalysis, to mention the most famous) all fail miserably at providing a coherent, consistent theoretical framework with predictive powers.

Patients suffering from personality disorders have many things in common:

  1. Most of them are insistent (except those suffering from the Schizoid or the Avoidant Personality Disorders). They demand treatment on a preferential and privileged basis. They complain about numerous symptoms. They never obey the physician or his treatment recommendations and instructions.
  2. They regard themselves as unique, display a streak of grandiosity and a diminished capacity for empathy (the ability to appreciate and respect the needs and wishes of other people). They regard the physician as inferior to them, alienate him using umpteen techniques and bore him with their never-ending self-preoccupation.
  3. They are manipulative and exploitative because they trust no one and usually cannot love or share. They are socially maladaptive and emotionally unstable.
  4. Most personality disorders start out as problems in personal development which peak during adolescence. They are enduring qualities of the individual. Personality disorders are stable and all-pervasive not episodic. They affect most of areas of life: the patient's career, his interpersonal relationships, his social functioning.
  5. Patients with personality disorders are rarely happy. They are depressed and suffer from auxiliary mood and anxiety disorders. But their defenses are so strong that they are aware only of their recurrent dysphorias and not of the underlying etiology (problems and reasons that cause their mood swings and anxiety). Patients with personality disorders are, in other words, consciously ego-syntonic, except in the immediate aftermath of a life crisis.
  6. The patient with a personality disorder is vulnerable to and prone to suffer from a host of other psychiatric problems. It is as though his psychological immunological system is disabled by the personality disorder and he falls prey to other variants of mental illness. So much energy is consumed by the disorder and by its corollaries (example: by obsessions-compulsions), that the patient is rendered defenseless.
  7. Patients with personality disorders have alloplastic defenses (external loci of control). In other words: they tend to blame the world for their mishaps and failures. In stressful situations, they try to preempt a (real or imaginary) threat, change the rules of the game, introduce new variables, or otherwise influence the outside world to fulfil their needs. This is as opposed to autoplastic defenses (internal loci of control) typical of neurotics (who change their internal psychological processes in stressful situations).
  8. The character problems, behavioral and cognitive deficits and emotional deficiencies and instability encountered by the patient with personality disorders are, mostly, ego-syntonic. This means that the patient does not, on the whole, find his personality traits or behavior objectionable, unacceptable, disagreeable, or alien to his self. Neurotics, in contrast, are ego-dystonic: they do not like who they are and how they behave.
  9. The personality-disordered are not psychotic. They have no hallucinations, delusions or thought disorders (except those who suffer from the Borderline Personality Disorder and who experience brief psychotic "microepisodes", mostly during treatment). They are also fully oriented, with clear senses (sensorium), good memory and general fund of knowledge.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, fourth edition, text revision (American Psychiatric Association, DSM-IV-TR, Washington D.C., 2000) defines "personality" as: "...enduring patterns of perceiving, relating to, and thinking about the environment and oneself... exhibited in a wide range of important social and personal contexts."

Click here to read the DSM-IV-TR (2000) definition of personality disorders.


 


Each personality disorder has its own form of Narcissistic Supply:

  • HPD (Histrionic PD) Derive their supply from their heightened sexuality, seductiveness, flirtatiousness, from serial romantic and sexual encounters, from physical exercises, and from the shape and state of their body;
  • NPD (Narcissistic PD) Derive their supply from garnering attention, both positive (adulation, admiration) and negative (being feared, notoriety);
  • BPD (Borderline PD) Derive their supply from the presence of others (they suffer from separation anxiety and are terrified of being abandoned);
  • AsPD (Antisocial PD) Derive their supply from accumulating money, power, control, and having (sometimes sadistic) "fun".

Borderlines, for instance, can be described as narcissists with an overwhelming fear of abandonment. They are careful not to abuse people. They do care deeply about not hurting others but for a selfish motivation (they want to avoid rejection).

Borderlines depend on other people for emotional sustenance. A drug addict is unlikely to pick up a fight with his pusher. But Borderlines also have deficient impulse control, as do Antisocials. Hence their emotional lability, erratic behavior, and the abuse they do heap on their nearest and dearest. 

Abandonment, NPDs and Other PDs

  • Both narcissists and Borderlines are afraid of abandonment. Only their coping strategies differ. Narcissists do everything they can to bring about their own rejection (and thus "control" it and "get it over with"). Borderlines do everything they can either to avoid relationships in the first place or to prevent abandonment once in a relationship by clinging to the partner or by emotionally extorting his continued presence and commitment.
  • Seductive behavior alone is not necessarily indicative of Histrionic PD. Somatic narcissists behave this way as well.
  • The differential diagnoses between the various personality disorders are blurred. It is true that some traits are much more pronounced (or even qualitatively different) in specific disorders. For example: delusional, expansive, and all-pervasive grandiose fantasies are typical of the narcissist. But, in a milder form, they also appear in many other personality disorders, such as the Paranoid, the Schizotypal, and the Borderline.
  • It would seem that personality disorders occupy a continuum.

NPD and BPD - Suicide and Psychosis

A sense of entitlement is common to all Cluster B disorders.

Narcissists almost never act on their suicidal ideation Borderlines do so incessantly (by cutting, self injury, or mutilation). But both tend to become suicidal under severe and prolonged stress.

NPDs can suffer from brief reactive psychoses in the same way that Borderlines suffer from psychotic microepisodes.

There are some differences between NPD and BPD, though:

    1. The narcissist is way less impulsive;
    2. The narcissist is less self-destructive, rarely self-mutilates, and practically never attempts suicide;
    3. The narcissist is more stable (displays reduced emotional lability, maintains stability in interpersonal relationships and so on).

NPD and Antisocial PD

Psychopaths or Sociopaths are the old names for Antisocial Personality Disorder (AsPD). The line between NPD and AsPD is very thin. AsPD may simply be a less inhibited and less grandiose form of NPD.

The important differences between narcissism and the antisocial personality disorder are:

  • Inability or unwillingness to control impulses (AsPD);
  • Enhanced lack of empathy on the part of the psychopath;
  • The psychopath's inability to form relationships, not even narcissistically twisted relationships, with other humans;
  • The psychopath's total disregard for society, its conventions, social cues and social treaties.

As opposed to what Scott Peck says, narcissists are not evil they lack the intention to cause harm (mens rea). As Millon notes, certain narcissists "incorporate moral values into their exaggerated sense of superiority. Here, moral laxity is seen (by the narcissist) as evidence of inferiority, and it is those who are unable to remain morally pure who are looked upon with contempt." (Millon, Th., Davis, R. - Personality Disorders in Modern Life - John Wiley and Sons, 2000)

Narcissists are simply indifferent, callous and careless in their conduct and in their treatment of others. Their abusive conduct is off-handed and absent-minded, not calculated and premeditated like the psychopath's.


 


NPD and Neuroses

The personality disordered maintain alloplastic defenses (react to stress by attempting to change the external environment or by shifting the blame to it). Neurotics have autoplastic defenses (react to stress by attempting to change their internal processes, or assuming blame). Personality disorders also tend to be ego-syntonic (i.e., to be perceived by the patient as acceptable, unobjectionable and part of the self) while neurotics tend to be ego-dystonic (the opposite).

The Hated-Hating Personality Disordered

One needs only to read scholarly texts to learn how despised, derided, hated and avoided patients with personality disorders are even by mental health practitioners. Many people don't even realize that they have a personality disorder. Their social ostracism makes them feel victimized, wronged, discriminated against and hopeless. They don't understand why they are so detested, shunned and abandoned.

They cast themselves in the role of victims and attribute mental disorders to others ("pathologizing"). They employ the primitive defence mechanisms of splitting and projection augmented by the more sophisticated mechanism of projective identification.

In other words:

They "split off" from their personality the bad feelings of hating and being hated because they cannot cope with negative emotions. They project these unto others ("He hates me, I don't hate anyone", "I am a good soul, but he is a psychopath", "He is stalking me, I just want to stay away from him", "He is a con-artist, I am the innocent victim").

Then they force others to behave in a way that justifies their expectations and their view of the world (projective identification followed by counter projective identification).

Some narcissists, for instance, firmly "believe" that women are evil predators, out to suck their lifeblood and then abandon them. So, they try and make their partners fulfill this prophecy. They try and make sure that the women in their lives behave exactly in this manner, that they do not abnegate and ruin the narcissist's craftily, elaborately, and studiously designed Weltanschauung (worldview).

Such narcissists tease women and betray them and bad mouth them and taunt them and torment them and stalk them and haunt them and pursue them and subjugate them and frustrate them until these women do, indeed, abandon them. The narcissist then feels vindicated and validated totally ignoring his contribution to this recurrent pattern.

The personality disordered are full of negative emotions, with aggression and its transmutations, hatred and pathological envy. They are constantly seething with rage, jealousy, and other corroding sentiments. Unable to release these emotions (personality disorders are defence mechanisms against "forbidden" feelings) they split them, project them and force others to behave in a way which legitimizes and rationalizes this overwhelming negativity. "No wonder I hate everyone look what people repeatedly did to me." The personality disordered are doomed to incur self-inflicted injuries. They generate the very hate that legitimizes their hatred, which fosters their social ex-communication.

The Borderline Narcissist A Psychotic?

Kernberg suggested a "Borderline" diagnosis. It is somewhere between psychotic and neurotic (actually between the psychotic and the personality disordered):

  • Neurotic autoplastic defenses (something's wrong with me);
  • Personality disordered alloplastic defenses (something's wrong with the world);
  • Psychotics something's wrong with those who say that something's wrong with me.

All personality disorders have a clear psychotic streak. Borderlines have psychotic episodes. Narcissists react with psychosis to life crises and in treatment ("psychotic microepisodes" which can last for days).

Narcissism, Psychosis, and Delusions

Masochism and Narcissism

Isn't seeking punishment a form of assertiveness and self-affirmation?

Author Cheryl Glickauf-Hughes, in the American Journal of Psychoanalysis, June 97, 57:2, pp 141-148:

"Masochists tend to defiantly assert themselves to the narcissistic parent in the face of criticism and even abuse. For example, one masochistic patient's narcissistic father told him as a child that if he said 'one more word' that he would hit him with a belt and the patient defiantly responded to his father by saying 'One more word!' Thus, what may appear, at times, to be masochistic or self-defeating behavior may also be viewed as self-affirming behavior on the part of the child toward the narcissistic parent."


 


The Inverted Narcissist A Masochist?

The Inverted Narcissist (IN) is more of a codependent than a masochist.

Strictly speaking masochism is sexual (as in sado-masochism). But the colloquial term means "seeking gratification through self-inflicted pain or punishment". This is not the case with codependents or IN's.

The Inverted Narcissist is a specific variant of codependent that derives gratification from her relationship with a narcissistic or a psychopathic (Antisocial personality disordered) partner. But her gratification has nothing to do with the (very real) emotional (and, at times, physical) pain inflicted upon her by her mate.

Rather the IN is gratified by the re-enactment of past abusive relationships. In the narcissist, the IN feels that she has found a lost parent. The IN seeks to re-create old unresolved conflicts through the agency of the narcissist. There is a latent hope that this time, the IN will get it "right", that this emotional liaison or interaction will not end in bitter disappointment and lasting agony.

Yet, by choosing a narcissist for her partner, the IN ensures an identical outcome time and again. Why should one choose to repeatedly fail in her relationships is an intriguing question. Partly, it has to do with the comfort of familiarity. The IN is used since childhood to failing relationships. It seems that the IN prefers predictability to emotional gratification and to personal development. There are also strong elements of self-punishment and self-destruction added to the combustible mix that is the dyad narcissist-inverted narcissist.

Narcissists and Sexual Perversions

Narcissism has long been thought to be a form of paraphilia (sexual deviation or perversion). It has been closely associated with incest and pedophilia.

Incest is an autoerotic act and, therefore, narcissistic. When a father makes love to his daughter he is making love to himself because she is 50% himself. It is a form of masturbation and reassertion of control over oneself.

I analyzed the relationship between narcissism and homosexuality in FAQ 18.

 


 

next: Excerpts from the Archives of the Narcissism List Table of Contents

APA Reference
Vaknin, S. (2008, December 2). Narcissism with Other Mental Health Disorders (Co-Morbidity and Dual Diagnosis), HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, October 5 from https://www.healthyplace.com/personality-disorders/malignant-self-love/narcissism-with-other-mental-health-disorders-co-morbidity-and-dual-diagnosis

Last Updated: July 4, 2018

What Is Grief?

An examination of grief. What grief is and why we try to keep grief at bay, avoiding emotional pain and the impact of doing that.

"Grief is; the impotent rage of being born into a Universe of change."
--- Charles Garfield

Everyone has grief. It's an inescapable reality of human existence.

We are not abnormal or weak because we experience grief. We are merely touching the depths of the human experience, the chasm between what we wanted . . . and what is.

From the first moment that we don't get exactly what we want from the world, we experience grief. It may come as early as the moment we leave the womb. Or it may come in the womb.

As infants we react with tears, sometimes in fear, sometimes in pain, sometimes in rage. As we get older we learn to control our reactions. We become adept at concealing the tears, pain, and anger, from ourselves and from others. But they are always there, lurking just beneath the surface. And whenever we are faced with a cataclysmic loss in our lives, the accumulated grief of our entire lifetime rises to the surface.

At moments of profound loss, our defenses crumble. We no longer have the strength to stuff our feelings down. Sometimes just seeing another's tears is sufficient to trigger our own.

Many of us react to grief by distracting ourselves. Or we seek to gain economic, political, and social power to have the illusion of being able to control our internal and external environments. For many of us, when other distractions don't work, we numb ourselves with alcohol or drugs.

Our grief can be our undoing. It can turn us off to ourselves-to our lives and to our world.

Or... it can be the sword that tears our heart open, that allows us to be vulnerable, that takes away our illusion of control, our self-imposed distance from our capacity to love and surrender.


If we can meet our grief with courage and awareness, it can be the key that unlocks our hearts and forces us into a profound new experience of life and love.


In that sense, grief can be our friend . . . a fierce teacher, but a welcome wake-up call. It is the one thing that can jar us out of our propensity to sleepwalk through life and through relationships.

The Complexity of Grief

What is grief? We all experience grief after a cataclysmic loss in our lives. But we try to keep grief at bay, avoiding emotional pain. Why?And what is "grief other than the agonizing space of disharmony, disequilibria, and discomfort between what we want from life and what we ultimately get? It is the vast reservoir of our accumulated past losses. It is the awareness of the inevitable losses to come. It is the sea of human disappointment.

It is the recognition that, ultimately, we have no control.

From our very first encounter with grief, our life has been a process of learning to cope with, to integrate, or to avoid the discomfort and disappointments we inevitably experience in life.

Many of us think of grief as the emotional pain surrounding the physical death of someone we love. But grief is much more complex, much more fundamental to our lives and the way we choose to live them.

At the very foundation of our society is the drive to avoid that which is unpleasant -- to negate the aspects of life that would bring us disappointment. Instead of being taught how to deal with the inevitable disappointments and losses in our lives, we have been taught to ignore and deny them. We've been taught to "put on a happy face," "keep a stiff upper lip," and to "talk about something more pleasant." We want to "feel better fast." Many little boys have been taught not to cry because it's "unmanly." And many little girls have been taught that their emotions are irrational . . . an inconvenient by-product of unbalanced female hormones.

Our entire culture is built on maximizing pleasure through the systematic avoidance of grief. We worship youth, beauty, strength, energy, vitality, health, prosperity, and power. We have confined illness, aging, and death to hospitals, nursing homes, funeral homes, and cemeteries. We treat these places like ghettos where distasteful things are happening and where most people in our society would rather not go unless they have to.

We spend billions of dollars each year on cosmetics, cosmetic surgery, hair transplants, hair dyes, liposuction, girdles, breast implants, breast reductions, genital enhancement, toupees, and wigs-all in an effort to change the ways in which our bodies don't measure up to the cultural model of "beauty." We don't want to look old, wrinkled, paunchy, or bald. The cultural model is so pervasive that we have evolved diseases like anorexia nervosa and bulimia. Their victims, mostly young women, would rather die of starvation than live with one ounce of fat on their bodies.


Why Can't We Handle Our Grief

And when faced with a death, we hire "professionals" - funeral directors and cemeterians - who, historically, we have looked toward to help us keep grief at bay, to help us deny the reality and finality of loss, the inevitability of change and decay. We don't want to participate in the process . . . we want to have someone else do it for us.

At every stage of our lives we are desperately trying to overcome the ways in which our bodies and our world disappoint us. And yet, the processes of aging and dying may have great lessons to teach us about the natural order of the Universe and our place in it. We fail to learn these lessons because we keep pushing them away.

A few years ago, when the accumulation of excessive material wealth and possessions became a popular life goal and Donald Trump was held up as a cultural hero, there was a popular bumper sticker that read, "He who dies with the most toys wins!"

A more enlightened view might rather be, "He who dies with the most joy wins."

And ironically, the road to joy lies not in avoiding the suffering, sadness, and disappointment in life, but in learning to go through it, to accept it . . . to grow in understanding, compassion, and love because of it.


At the very same moment that we feel consumed by grief, we each have the source of all Joy and happiness inside ourselves...

Our grief is, in a very real sense, the mistaken belief that our happiness is connected to external things, situations, and people. It is the loss of awareness that happiness flows from within.

So grief is more about the loss of connection to our own selves than it is about the loss of connection to a loved one or relationship.


Even if we do remember that happiness flows from within, we feel that something has happened which blocks our access to the source. Our grief is largely the sadness of losing our connection to our innermost being . . . of feeling cut off from ourselves and therefore from our ability to be happy. And no amount of monetary or material accumulation can replace the connection with our "inner being."

In many societies that we have viewed as "primitive," all of life is seen as a preparation for death. Every moment of uncertainty, every surprise, every shock, every danger, every love, every relationship, every loss, every disappointment, every head cold - is seen as an opportunity to prepare for death, to learn to surrender to the inevitability of change, to acknowledge that life doesn't always give us what we want, to know with certainty that it can all change in the blink of an eye.

Our society has perceived life as an opportunity to deny the inevitability of aging, change, and death. And in so doing, we have robbed ourselves of the ability to feel connected to the natural way of things. We react to death and loss as "unfortunate," "incomprehensible," and "wrong." But death just is. It is a fact of life. The way of all things is to arise, to take birth, to change, and ultimately to decay and die. Every living form in the physical Universe changes, decays, and dies. Every form.


The thought that our life should be other than it is at this moment, that the circumstances of our life, our family, our business -- our world are unacceptable -- is the groundwork of our grief.


Any thought that takes us out of this moment, whatever feelings and experiences this moment may hold, is the groundwork of our grief. The life and death issues in this Universe ultimately are beyond our control. We can be prudent, responsible, careful, and protective of our loved ones, but ultimately it is all beyond our control.

Grief Is Many Different Things

So grief is primarily the pain of resisting what is. It is the inevitable outgrowth of our human mind thinking that the people, places, and events of our life should be other than they are.

It is also the sadness and despair of lost opportunities. I notice in myself a grief about the passing of my own youth, a sadness that one day, inevitably, each of my loved ones and I will part for the last time. And in each relationship I've lost, whether through death or some other form of parting, I experience a frustration about the opportunities that were missed-about the ways in which two hearts stayed separate, the frustration over our failure to become one, the ways in which I/we could have been more, done more, said more, given more.

This book is about the ways in which our society has sought to avoid grief. It's about the ways in which that avoidance has prevented us from being fully human. It's about the methods we can use to begin to deal effectively with the grief in our lives.

Click to buy: Awakening From Grief

Ultimately, it's about happiness. . . the happiness that arises within us when we begin to have space in our hearts to handle life in its totality. The joy, the love, the fun-and the frustration, sadness, and anger. It's all workable.

The process of opening our hearts to all of it is the process of healing grief.

The above article originally appeared as Chapter Seven of John E. Welshons' book,
Awakening from Grief: Finding the Road Back to Joy

next: Healthy Relationships Alleviate Depression and Prevent Relapse
~ depression library articles
~ all articles on depression

APA Reference
Tracy, N. (2008, December 2). What Is Grief?, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, October 5 from https://www.healthyplace.com/depression/articles/what-is-grief

Last Updated: June 24, 2016

Traveling Toward Home

Libby Gill, author of Traveling Hopefully, writes about the emotional impact of death, divorce, alcoholism, and suicide on her family.

Traveling Hopefully

Author of Traveling Hopefully

Thomas Wolfe is the guy who said you can't go home again. Now, he didn't check with me first, but if he had, I would've set him straight. Because once in a while, you do get a chance to go back home. I know. I just went home, back to my old hometown of Jacksonville, Florida to reconnect with my roots.

Ironically, what drove me out Jacksonville in the first place turned out to be the very thing that pulled me back. And that's my family. This past Christmas marked the first time we'd all been together - my mother, brothers, sisters, nieces and nephews, my two kids and future husband, plus my brother's Russian bride straight from Kiev - in more than twenty years.


continue story below

Christmas has always been a tough time of year for us. My brother David, the oldest of us six kids, died on Christmas morning after he crashed his friend's VW coming home from a Christmas Eve party. My mother told me just this year that my father had taken David, who was home on break from Princeton, to lunch that day to tell him that Dad was planning on divorcing her. My family never recovered from David's death or from my father leaving us all just a few months later.

When I wrote in my new book, Traveling Hopefully, about how I'd allowed growing up with so much pain and loneliness to hold me back in my life, I was concerned about hurting people's feelings by telling the truth about our family. But I was even more concerned about perpetuating the pain - mine and others - by backing off from that truth. It wasn't until just before my book was out in stores and I was scheduled to appear on the Dr. Phil show that I sent copies to my siblings, inviting their reactions. I was scared. So scared that I wouldn't even give a copy to my mother who'd come out to celebrate my fiftieth birthday until she was boarding the plane to take her back home to Jacksonville. If she was going to be furious with me, I figured, better she do it at a cruising altitude of thirty-five thousand feet.

But she wasn't furious. She was proud of me. And with unexpected candor, she began to fill in more of the missing textures and undisclosed details of our dark family saga. Courageously, my older sister, younger brother and the stepsister with whom I'd shared an angst-ridden adolescence living in Japan lined up to shade in the rest. All of the pieces of this sad Southern drama - death, divorce, alcoholism, and suicide - began to fall into place. Suddenly, all the stories that had been hushed into the shadows for nearly forty years were brought out into this blaze of eastern sunlight, like the beach towels we used to hang off the balcony to dry so they wouldn't mildew in the humidity after a swim. And just like those towels, our stories began to dry out and lose the moldy stench of pain.

After she read Traveling Hopefully and saw me on TV, my big sister Cecily - who'd become such a stranger we could barely muddle through a holiday phone call - wrote me a heartbreaking email telling me how much she'd liked my book and how sorry she was for the pain I'd suffered. She included a list of numbered points - she was always good at math - detailing her own story of abandonment and loss. I was instantly sorry for all the years that I hadn't reached out to help her or to ask her to help me. At the end of her letter, she told me she'd liked me on Dr. Phil, especially the way I was covering up the gray in my hair with highlights and that she was thinking about doing hers the same way. Miraculously, we were sisters again, forever linked by shared DNA and mutual history.

Though pain and geography had put miles between us, Cecily and I still shared a reverence for the rambling riverfront house, built in 1902, where we'd grown up. As we took a Christmas day drive alongside the St. John's River back in Jacksonville, our old childhood home seemed to call to us like one of the local songbirds that Cecily could identify at a glance, with or without her field glasses. It wasn't just the towering magnolias or the Spanish moss spilling out of the live oak trees like the tangled waist-length curls we'd worn as girls that spoke to us. It was our shared need to stare down the past and come full circle to face the future that led us to the doorstep of our former home, forty years to the day that our oldest brother died.

You might be able to go home again, but you better be prepared for it to have been remodeled a couple of times. At least, that's what Cecily and I discovered when we walked up to the manicured McMansion that had once been our ramshackle country house, prepared to blithely ask the family inside for a tour. But as we peered in through the leaded glass kitchen windows, our courage began to falter. After all, this was Christmas morning. Could we dare disturb the family inside, still sitting at the table in their pj's looking so cozy and happy and so unlike our family ever appeared in my memories?

We could. In fact, we did. And we were rewarded with the grand tour of our ancestral home. Just a few hours later, Cecily and I sat down to my mother's Christmas dinner and shared our adventure with the entire family. As we swapped stories about the old neighborhood and moved on to discuss our roots - both the prematurely gray kind and the deeper ones that bind us together - I knew I was home. So Thomas Wolfe, fellow Southerner, sometimes you can make that homeward journey.

Libby Gill is a life-change coach, lecturer and author of two books, including the newly released Traveling Hopefully: How to Lose Your Family Baggage and Jumpstart Your Life. Libby can be reached online at www.LibbyGill.com .

next: Articles: A Celtic Response to An Inconvenient Truth

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, December 2). Traveling Toward Home, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, October 5 from https://www.healthyplace.com/alternative-mental-health/sageplace/traveling-toward-home

Last Updated: July 17, 2014

Genes That Predispose Some People to Anorexia and Bulimia

A radical view holds that while binging, purging, and starving behaviors may be new, the groundwork for them is as old as mankind itself.Examination on the impact of the environment on the activation of personality traits displayed in humans, while offering the views of Walter Kaye and Wade Berrettini, who are conducting studies on genes that predispose some persons to anorexia and bulimia. Occurrence of anorexiabulimia during the 17th, 16th and 19th centuries; Role of deoxyribonucleic acid (DNA) in detecting the cause of eating disorders in individuals. and

On any list of the dark side of modern culture, anorexia and bulimia would rank high. But a radical view holds that while binging, purging, and starving behaviors may be new, the groundwork for them is as old as mankind itself.

Current environmental triggers have activated hard-wired personality traits, contend Waiter Kaye, M.D., and Wade Berrettini, M.D., Ph.D., who are leading a search for the genes that predispose some people to anorexia and bulimia.

Accounts from the 17th, 18th, and 19th centuries show that anorexia is not just a modern disease, says Berrettini, professor of psychiatry at the University of Pennsylvania. Still, the risk of eating disorders has doubled in American women born after 1960. Since genes don't evolve that quickly, social factors must weigh in.

Indeed, Kaye and Berrettini believe that cultural messages about weight interact with inherited characteristics to produce anorexia or bulimia. "Sufferers tend to have certain vulnerabilities," says Kaye, professor of psychiatry at the University of Pittsburgh. "They are obsessed with perfection."

Once, this predisposition may have remained dormant. "There may be times in history where people had genes for these traits and didn't develop a disorder, due to a low-stress environment," says Kaye.

These genes might also have been expressed in other ritualistic behaviors. But our culture's emphasis on thinness has given women an all too ideal outlet for perfectionist drives.

Kaye and Berrettini are collecting the DNA of women whose families have two or more relatives with eating disorders. Berrettini expects to identify at least one of the genes by the year's end. Their research may allow them to pinpoint those at risk and may lead to better treatments.

next: How Personalities, Genetic and Environmental Factors and Biochemistry Combine to Cause Eating Disorders
~ eating disorders library
~ all articles on eating disorders

APA Reference
Gluck, S. (2008, December 2). Genes That Predispose Some People to Anorexia and Bulimia, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, October 5 from https://www.healthyplace.com/eating-disorders/articles/genes-that-predispose-some-people-to-anorexia-and-bulimia

Last Updated: January 14, 2014

The Gratitude Principle

Getting Off The Rollercoaster

As you learn to assert yourself by affirming your goodness and a willingness to grow, you need to continually support yourself by extracting the positive out of each and every situation that comes your way. This period of re-discovery and re-learning you are going through, will require constant alertness to the potential of wonderful learning experiences that will come your way.

Openness to all things being made new for you is the goal of your quest. You will throw open your arms and embrace all things that come your way. You will know that your future lies in newness. The old ways have made you sad, and you know you don't have to look back at bad times, yesterday's gone and tomorrow will bring the days that you've been waiting for. You are Loved, and You Will Love Again, and when you learn to Love unconditionally, you will Love perfectly. As you grow outwardly in Love, you will affect others who are close and dear to you. They will respond to your Love without fail, for they will be drawn to it as the Bee is to the Flower.

One part of learning to live and grow in Love is to understand gratitude. Our conditioned emotions have always tended to look at the negative aspects of situations, but once again through the cultivation of awareness, you will give yourself many chances to see an abundance of wonderful things that form the greater part of your life.

When you practice gratitude to all things in our life, you can't help but attract to your inner self, the quality of kindness that is associated with those thoughts.

As you have seen how like attracts like, a genuine expression of thanks for the things that are good for you will bring without fail a feeling of gentle contentment each time you act this way. When gratitude is practised on a regular basis, you can be sure of increasing your level of inner peace. It is through the positive efforts you put into your life, that you can begin to turn it around as many positive outcomes continue to provide assistance in the task of personal growth.


continue story below


Another way to increase feelings of goodness and content within yourself is to acknowledge the good fortune of others. By bringing more and more positive values of life into your own life, you open up to an incredible amount of Love and Goodness that you may not have known existed. Regardless of the effect of another's good fortune upon yourself, gratitude will open your eyes to realities of living that you probably thought only belonged in movies or fables. There is so much goodness in this world that to think it doesn't exist, is to really say...

"My world does not contain these things because
My thinking does not attract these qualities into My life".

Start by saying to yourself...

"It is good that I have a roof over my head".
"It is good that I have somewhere to lay down and
rest my head at the end of the day".
"It is good that I was able to eat today".
"That few minutes of peace that I found today
as I walked through the Park was good".

Though these things might seem ordinary, they are in truth very Profound since they reside in the foundations of our everyday life.

It matters not if you live in a castle or a one room flat. What is essential is the understanding of Shelter and a place to be safe; a warm bed, food to give you nourishment, some relief from concerns. In any situation there is light, so by being willing to experience that light, you will find that light. The more you see that light, the more the light will become a part of you.

Acknowledge the good people you have in your life regardless of whether or not they are a regular part of your circle of friends. See also the value in acquaintances who you know have good things happening in their lives. Gratitude is actually an affirmation because you are affirming your worth by letting the quality of the gift settle in you peacefully.

MORE GRATITUDE:

The most important and fundamental aspects of life, are built upon foundations of Simplicity. In our search for answers to bring us to Peace and Truth, we must be ready to seek without the burden of complicated strategies which might deny or overlook the naked and stark facts of our existence in simple Love. In your stillness and Love is your Power, so through Gratitude, give power to yourself through the simplicity of...

Acknowledging the good fortune of owning a car.

Acknowledging the influence of positive people in your Life

Acknowledging the presence of children in your Life

These are only a minute number of ways in which you can address the task of bringing Peace within through Gratitude. In your own Life, you will find many things can be applied to your situation.

As we tend to be so very aware of our misfortune, our Fortune seems to take second place. It's strange how the Negatives get top priority in things that matter, and I believe it stems from the tendency to complicate things from fear based thinking. Very often, the good things we have in our life have a natural association with simplicity, yet this goodness so often tends to get the medal for Second best.

SO MUCH GOODNESS:

There are so many opportunities for the input of Good and Positive qualities to come into your Life simply through Awareness. Any limitation you associate with living is merely a mirror of your thinking. By defining what you perceive to be restrictions to your life, you are in reality, specifying the boundaries of your imagination.

You who are reading this book now; you might be a Pauper, a Prince or a Princess. You could be anyone from any level in society; but whoever you are, to acknowledge the good things you have that bring you comfort; to be grateful for the things that you own or control, will go a long way in prolonging your good fortune by understanding its value. To consciously acknowledge the good things you have in your life is to increase their worth beyond measure. What is a home can, become a castle. What is a brass vase, can become a golden chalice. What is gentleness, can become strength. Those who are humble can become great. Those who are great, can become great and wise.

CONTEMPLATION:

I give thanks for ...
Simple things that teach me how,
To value life, and live it NOW.
Time alone and time with friends.
Love to come, that will never end.

pdf iconDownload the FREE book

next: Getting Off the Roller Coaster Co-Creating With God.

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, December 2). The Gratitude Principle, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, October 5 from https://www.healthyplace.com/alternative-mental-health/still-my-mind/the-gratitude-principle

Last Updated: July 21, 2014

You Are Always Doing Your Best

You are always doing the best you can, based on your current belief system. Life has designed us with a built-in mechanism for survival. To repel from pain, and move towards feeling good. It's in all its creatures, big and small.

I think what trips us up is that it doesn't always APPEAR that way. I can hear it now, someone saying "you mean the person that slits their wrist is doing the best they can?" My answer is "Yes". At that point in time, ending their life appeared to be the best way to end their pain. If they knew a better way, they would have taken it. It's only logical.

"At any moment each person is always doing the VERY BEST he can, based on his total conscious and non conscious prevailing awareness and which is within his capabilities, energy, time, and developed talents and abilities."

- Sidney Madwed

How many times have we heard, "if I had it to do over again, I wouldn't have acted any differently, based on what I knew at the time"? Precisely. Based on what you knew at the time.

There are reasons for the things we do. Most people have not investigated what those reasons are, but that doesn't mean they're not there. If you were to trace your thoughts from behavior back to belief, you would see a logical progression of reasons for each step you take.

Think of a person like a huge mainframe. You see the nice software interface, but be assured that there are millions of calculations taking place behind that pretty window. They're not necessarily subconscious, you can see them just like you can see code. The only way I've discovered to get to that code, is to identify those underlying ideas and beliefs.

"The choice may have been mistaken, the choosing was not."

- Stephen Sondheim, from his song "Move On"

Self Defeating Beliefs


continue story below

A belief is an idea which you consider to be true. There are many beliefs that discourage self acceptance.

Do you hold any of these beliefs?

  • If I'm happy in my present situation, I won't try and change it.
  • No pain, no gain.
  • If I'm happy with the way I am, I'll stop growing.
  • If I accept myself the way I am, I'll appear vain and insensitive to others.
  • If I don't feel guilty, I'll continue to do "bad" things.
  • Guilt is necessary to keep people honest.
  • Everyone has to pay his dues.
  • If I accept myself the way I am, I won't change anything.
  • There are certain ways we "should" be.

If you hold any of these beliefs, you might benefit enormously from using the Option Method.

next: Does Guilt Work?

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, December 2). You Are Always Doing Your Best, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, October 5 from https://www.healthyplace.com/relationships/creating-relationships/your-are-always-doing-your-best

Last Updated: August 6, 2014

Society and Acceptance

"Society has some rather bizarre notions about self acceptance. Its uncomfortable with it."

Like happiness, society has some rather bizarre notions about self acceptance. On the one hand we have psychologists telling us it's good to improve our self-esteem while at the same time, society says we shouldn't have too much acceptance and appreciation for ourselves. What a tight rope to walk.

We are encouraged to be humble and show humility. Do you know the definition of humility?

humility (hju:míliti:) n. the quality of being without pride || voluntary self-abasement.

pride (praid) 1. proper self-respect || a source of great satisfaction for which one feels some responsibility || a sense of satisfaction with one's achievements.

abase (ebéis) v.t. to degrade, to humiliate, lowered

Alright, I ask you, WHY would anyone value humility? Why would it be good to degrade and humiliate yourself as well as lack self-respect and feel no sense of satisfaction or responsibility for your achievements? How could this be beneficial for anyone? What is it about someone feeling "too good" about themselves that bothers us so? Yet our culture promotes humility as a desired virtue. It doesn't make sense.

"...the culture we have does not help people feel good about themselves. We're teaching the wrong things. And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn't work, don't buy it. Create your own."

- Mitch Albom, "Tuesdays With Morrie"

Myths About Egocentricity


continue story below

Unfortunately, self acceptance (self-love) has gotten a bad rap over the course of history. Our society has labeled people who openly admit they love themselves as egomaniacs, narcissists, selfish, self-centered, and vain. No wonder we fear the very thought of self-love much less an outward expression of it with such incriminations. But lets look at that label and see if it's really accurate.

Do those we label as egomaniacs really love themselves? It's been my experience that those that are loud, overbearing, and go out of their way to show how important they are, are actually covering up a great deal of self-doubt, self-loathing, and fear. The greater the lack of self-esteem, the greater the show has to be to convince others as well as themselves of their own value and significance.

I also notice those who truly appreciate themselves feel no great need to make others know how significant they are. They're neither self degrading or depreciating, nor self promoting or excessively communicating their inherent worth.

When you feel a sense of inner acceptance and appreciation, there is no need for approval from others. When the question, "Am I a worthy/valuable person?" has been answered by your own voice with a resounding "Yes", one doesn't continue to ask that question of others.

next: What Is A Value Judgment?

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, December 2). Society and Acceptance, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, October 5 from https://www.healthyplace.com/relationships/creating-relationships/society-and-acceptance

Last Updated: August 6, 2014

ADHD Treatment Overview: Psychotherapy

Behavior therapy, as a treatment for child and adult ADHD, has proven helpful. Behavior therapy for ADHD includes working on social interactions, organizational skills and relaxation training.Behavior therapy, as a treatment for child and adult ADHD, has proven helpful. Behavior therapy for ADHD includes working on social interactions, organizational skills and relaxation training.

Behavioral treatment for ADHD involves adjusting the environment to promote more successful social interactions. Such adjustments include creating more structure and encouraging routines.

Behavior Treatment for Childhood ADHD

Children with ADHD may need help in organizing their lives. Therefore, some simple interventions to try are:

  • Create a schedule. Make sure your child has the same routine every day. The schedule should include homework time and playtime. Post this schedule in a prominent place in the home.
  • Help your child organize everyday items. Work with your child to have a place for everything. This includes clothing, backpacks, and school supplies.

Note that children with ADHD need consistent rules that they can easily follow. When your child follows rules, they should be rewarded.

Behavior Treatment for Adult ADHD

Adult ADHD may be treated with one or more of the following:

  • Individual cognitive and behavioral therapy to enhance self-esteem
  • Relaxation training and stress management to reduce anxiety and stress
  • Behavioral coaching to teach strategies for organizing home and work activities
  • Job coaching or mentoring to support better working relationships and improve on-the-job performance
  • Family education and therapy


next: ADHD Medication Chart
~ adhd library articles
~ all add/adhd articles

APA Reference
Tracy, N. (2008, December 2). ADHD Treatment Overview: Psychotherapy, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, October 5 from https://www.healthyplace.com/adhd/articles/psychotherapy-behavior-treatment-for-childhood-adhd

Last Updated: February 14, 2016