In one of my earlier blogs, I discussed something called body-focused repetitive behaviors. These are behaviors almost every human being deals with and doesn’t realize it is a different version of self-harm – picking hang nails, biting nails, picking at zits or pimples are just a few common ones. Typically, these behaviors are not done to distract, release frustration or to emotionally connect to the pain. Usually, body-focused repetitive behaviors are done without realization. So, why am I bringing this up again? It goes back to my face and how I fell on it this weekend.

This weekend, I fell on my face. I literally fell onto the sidewalk and currently have the ugliest scab and bruise covering the right side of my face. After I fell onto the cement, pain filled my body. Obviously this is normal when it comes to any accidental scrape or cut or bruise. However, for some reason, memories from my self-harming past popped into my mind. I started thinking to myself, "Why would I have caused so much physical pain to myself just for distraction and escape? Pain hurts."

There are not always obvious signs of self-harm. Many people are quiet about it – which is understandable since it is a personal addiction. Because there is not a “Self-Harmers Table” in the cafeteria or a “Self-Harmers Staff Room” at work, it tends to be tough to recognize who is doing what. However, sometimes it is too obvious to ignore. When I used to cut, I hid my marks behind leather bracelets and watches. I’d put foundation on my scars and fresh wounds and made sure I had some with me at all times. I did everything in my power to make it so I looked like the typical, happy teenager. Inside, I was screaming.

As a self-harmer, you’re going to have scars. You’re going to have cuts or burns or scrapes or bruises that stick around for the rest of your life. Sometimes, these marks can be hidden and forgotten about. However, some marks are not that easy to push aside and can haunt you. I wasn’t a self-harmer who needed to dig real deep when cutting. I was calm after some small marks and a little pain because, that in itself, redirected me. (read: Self-Injury Cutting: Cutting Yourself to Relieve Emotional Pain) However, I do have self-harm scars that have lingered over the years that I do not think are going to go away. Some of you may be the self-injurers who have a hard time hiding your marks with some foundation and bracelets. Some of you may feel embarrassed to wear short sleeves or a bathing suit because it is visible that you’re painted in pain. For recovered self-harmers and those still struggling, we are “living with ladders.”

Recently, I was asked to address the topic of self-injury and sexual intimacy. More specifically -- being ashamed of your body due to self injury cuts, burns or scars and having to shy away from intimate relationships, or face possible rejection by a sexual partner should they see them. In this blog, I will address ways to deal with this type of situation.

In this video, I explain some signs and symptoms that are commonly seen among people who self-injure. If you're a family member, friend or loved-one of someone you believe may be deliberately self-harming, these are some things to look out for that may help you bring up the issue with them.

One of the most-requested topics among readers of this blog is self-injury and its affect on romantic relationships. In this blog, I will give you some quick tips on how to tell your boyfriend, girlfriend or significant other that you self-injure.