Questions about self-harm scars and dating, sex and intimacy cause many people with visible self-harm scars to worry: "Are self-harm scars a turn-off?" "Should I try to hide my scars from my partner?" "When is it appropriate to explain my scars to a partner, and how can I best approach this type of conversation?" What are the right answers to these questions about self-harm scars and dating?

There are ways to explain self-harm scars to children, but I haven't always known what to say. When I was in my first year of college I had a job working with children at a daycare. Children are curious by nature and they ask a lot of questions about their surroundings. If something is “out of the norm” they are going to ask questions about it. One night, I wore a dress which showed a few of my scars. I had a small child come up and ask me, “Teacher, what happened to your leg?”

There is no easy way to discuss past self-harm. No matter how you go about bringing forward difficult struggles from your past, it is almost always going to be an uncomfortable situation. Even for the most confident person, there is always something that gets in the way of that confidence and, for some, it can be discussing a mental health issue, like self-injury, they must deal with.

Being twenty-five years old, I am smack in the middle of a time when many friends and family members are either getting engaged, married or popping out babies. While I am perfectly content with my job, boyfriend and Miniature Schnauzer, it can cause overwhelming anxiety to those who feel as if they need to rush forward with certain parts of their lives. We tend to focus on adolescents who self-harm because, well, that’s when most seem to struggle with it. However, even though I am unaware of the statistics, self-harm continues to be an issue for many even after high school graduation. I was twenty years old when my last cut was made, but who knows how many people in their twenties are still struggling with the need to self-injure?

When it comes to self-harming, the importance of the marks tends to overpower the importance of relationships with reality. Well, at least this rang true to me during my difficult years. I had friends in high school, however, most of them I do not talk to anymore. Those I do still talk to I hope to never push away. I will admit it now, though. I pushed most of my friends away during the years I struggled with self-harm.

There is always something that triggers the interest, want or need to self-harm. Listing self-harm triggers could go on forever, but after looking around at others who have self-harmed, as well as my own background, I found three major triggers that seem to be factors in the self-harming world. The three self-harm triggers that I noticed popped up the most were family, relationships, and bullying.

Whether you haven’t self-harmed in years or are currently in the battle, flashbacks of weak moments always pop up. It's inevitable that you're going to see a scar and remember the reason it was put there.  These moments can come from a song, a place or even a person. Such as an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend.

Recently, I was asked to address the topic of self-injury and sexual intimacy. More specifically -- being ashamed of your body due to self injury cuts, burns or scars and having to shy away from intimate relationships, or face possible rejection by a sexual partner should they see them. In this blog, I will address ways to deal with this type of situation.

One of the most-requested topics among readers of this blog is self-injury and its affect on romantic relationships. In this blog, I will give you some quick tips on how to tell your boyfriend, girlfriend or significant other that you self-injure.