Many people with schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder experience the troubling symptom of hearing voices. I hear voices. I hear them often. It’s a breakthrough symptom even for those of us on medication. But there is one time when I experience schizophrenic/schizoaffective voices the most.

I’ve written recently about how I’m trying to lose weight while on a schizophrenia medication that causes weight gain. Now here’s an update. As I’ve mentioned before, I’m on an atypical antipsychotic medication for my schizoaffective disorder that causes severe weight gain: yes, severe. At times my natural weight has almost doubled on this schizophrenia medication.

Since I was diagnosed with schizophrenia almost 20 years ago and then with schizoaffective disorder 15 years ago, I’ve gone through scores of psychiatric medication changes. They’re never fun but remain necessary as I work with my doctor to keep the dosage as low as possible and schizophrenia symptoms under control. I’m going through a psychiatric medication change right now after a peak of anxiety. You can probably relate to the way it’s affecting my schizophrenic and schizoaffective symptoms.

Behaving badly due to schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder can cost us relationships, friendships, jobs, degrees, and more. I don’t use my schizoaffective disorder as a free pass to do or say whatever crummy thing I please. Here’s what I’ve learned about myself and my schizoaffective disorder through behaving badly. This is also how I confronted that behavior and turned it around.

A couple of weeks ago, I described my experiences with weight gain caused by atypical antipsychotics used to treat schizophrenia and schizoaffective disorder. Something has changed since then, and probably with some motivation from sharing that article with you. Now I’m trying to lose weight while on schizophrenia medication. I don’t want to go off the antipsychotic I’m on or find a new one--every time I do that I have a bad experience. But here’s how I’m going about the challenge of staying on schizophrenia medication and losing weight.

Weight gain caused by medication is a reality. I have schizoaffective disorder, which is a combination of bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. I take an atypical antipsychotic medication for schizoaffective disorder that causes extreme weight gain. Although many people with schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder who take medications similar to mine make heroic efforts to fight the weight gain, I’ve come to accept it—although it’s been harder to accept that I need the medication in the first place.

Most people with schizoaffective disorder take medication for their condition. Whether I like it or not, I don’t think I could function as a rational human being without medication (Schizoaffective Disorder Treatment). But what is it like to need to take medication for schizoaffective disorder, which includes symptoms of psychosis and the symptoms of a mood disorder?

Antipsychiatry stigma can affect people with schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder. And having schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder is hard enough without having people tell you that you shouldn’t be taking your medications. Antipsychiatry and stigma is rampant and dangerous not to mention it's rude to question one's choice of treatment for an illness. Unfortunately, antipsychiatry is a stigma that everyone with schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder, and other mental illnesses runs into at some point.

Schizophrenia and obsessive thinking, which is a symptom of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), rarely present together (although there is a noticeable comorbidity between schizophrenia and OCD). However, I do not have OCD and my schizophrenia symptoms never included obsessive thoughts. At least not until I was put on an antipsychotic medication with a rare side effect of causing obsessive thoughts. Then, not only did I have to deal with symptoms like hearing voices, but my generalized anxiety disorder morphed into a deep well of obsessive thinking with no bottom. Schizophrenia and obsessive thinking is a tough pair to deal with.

People with schizophrenia and schizoaffective disorder are no strangers to medication changes (Mental Health Medication Changes Require a Doctor's Input). Maybe the medicinal cocktail prescribed isn’t relieving symptoms or the medication is causing too much weight gain. Or maybe you’re getting headaches all the time. Medication changes are a big part of having schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder.