I’ve been driving to my intensive outpatient program (IOP) five times a week despite my anxiety about driving. It’s not a very far drive, but it’s a start. Here’s how I have been able to drive, despite anxiety, to the IOP.

Fireworks are very bad for my schizoaffective anxiety. I wanted to write about my struggle because this post will be published on the Fourth of July, a holiday known for its fireworks. So, let me tell you about how fireworks trigger my anxiety.

I’ve decided that my mental health is more important to me than politics. Here’s why I feel I have to take this stance–and, for many this election year, mental health is more important than politics.

Playing the piano affects my schizoaffective disorder in a very positive way. Let me tell you how my piano playing soothes my schizoaffective disorder.

Do naps affect schizoaffective disorder? For me, they do—in a good way. Here’s how naps improve my schizoaffective disorder.

Schizoaffective anxiety and recovering from surgery are a particularly bad combination. Yesterday, I was picking up some packages from the mail room. The mailroom is down a flight of stairs from our apartment. Only one package of four free COVID tests would fit in my tote bag, so I had to carry the other one by hand. I have a system for getting the mail on such occasions since I just had double knee surgery, and it’s hard for me to get up and down stairs. Schizoaffective anxiety in recovery makes it harder because I'm scared.

I just tested positive for COVID-19 on top of managing schizoaffective disorder and anxiety, and having just had the second of double knee replacements.

It's hard to believe that 14 months ago, I wrote my first blog for "Creative Schizophrenia." It seems like a month or two ago. That is the way with time as we get older, though. It slips away so quickly, almost as if it speeds up. After over a year of writing for this blog, it is time for me to move on and pursue other writing opportunities. This experience has been rewarding, and I don't take it for granted. I want to leave you with my hopes for all of you in 2024 and beyond.

I deal with schizophrenia anxiety around COVID-19. The pandemic hit me especially hard. I still haven't recovered my former level of social activities, and much of my time is spent indoors and alone -- isolated. I still wear masks in the grocery store and don't dine indoors in restaurants (I live in a warm climate). When most of the world went on with their lives and returned to normal, my paranoia and anxiety kept me stuck in a loop of fear, worry, concern, and the possibility of adverse outcomes. Even though we took many precautions against contracting the virus, my husband returned to work over a year ago, and last week, he started having symptoms. Two days later, I did, too. After a few days, we both tested positive for COVID-19. 

My biggest fear as someone with schizophrenia is experiencing a prolonged period of psychosis, but I have other worries that I live with as well. Because of my anxiety disorder, fear and worry are regular visitors in my life. Most of my fears are centered around medical issues, the loss of my husband due to illness, a car accident, or a heart attack or stroke (I think of all the scary things). There is a type of fear separate from all the ones I have listed, though, but no less prevalent, and that fear has to do with judgment, stigma, and rejection. It mostly has to do with rejection.