Under the spell of delusions and psychosis, many of us have tread the trenches of homelessness. We are fighting a battle on multiple fronts, from the horrifying symptoms that we suffer from, to the poverty and intense stigma that often follows. These varying aspects of schizophrenia can combine together to form nightmare scenarios where we are left confused, alone and living on the streets. Once homeless and ill, we face a new set of problems that include hypothermia, starvation, victimization and lack of medical care.   When this situation arises, we can become desperate and go to extreme lengths to meet our basic needs.

Within the psychotic mind lies a mysterious place filled with voices and shadowy figures. Therein lies persecution and horror of otherworldly origin. What is it that brings this terror to us? Schizophrenia is a disease that is toxic to our minds, and brings on unusual beliefs and behaviors. An extension of these beliefs are dark, eerie voices from unseen places. These voices come from various origins and seem to have a conscious of their own. How is it that our minds can hear voices from nothingness? Is this a cruel trick of nature? How can a disease be so bizarre and menacing? The voices can unfold in different ways. For me, the beliefs and voices are one and the same. They mesh together to create a woven pattern of unreality, both tortuous and unseen.

Hallucinations are a prominent feature in many people who suffer from paranoid schizophrenia. Many of us will experience visual, tactile and auditory hallucinations during some period of our illness. The most common of these, and the only I have experienced, are auditory hallucinations. Hearing voices is extremely common for people with paranoid schizophrenia, and can be a terrifying and degrading experience for the sufferer.

Having schizophrenia means that I am a bit more paranoid than your average person. The antipsychotics I take may have helped quell most of my symptoms, but they have not eliminated them. I am not “cured” of my schizophrenia, despite what some people believe. The paranoia that stems from my illness is still strongly ingrained within my subconscious mind. It is just better controlled. I do not hear voices, believe that I am Jesus or that cockroaches are underneath my skin. I do not wander the streets thinking that I have special powers, like talking to animals or telepathy. I do not suffer as greatly as I once did, but that does not mean that I am cured. I am a “functional” schizophrenic as I am able to work, have relationships and take care of myself with some difficulty, but that does not mean that I do not have issues.

On National Public Radio (NPR) today, I heard an array of psychiatrists and parents speak about the mental health system, and how to better protect the public from the criminal behavior of those with severe mental illness. The argument was that society needs protection from us, so that the tragedies and shootings that have occurred over the past decade can be prevented. They spoke of gun control, forced hospitalization and increased access to care. Many of these points are valid, and yet their entire perspective on mental illness is heavily flawed.

We, as schizophrenics, must band together to form our own culture, art and way of life. We need to be recognized as a people who have a unique perspective to offer this world. Even a disability as debilitating as schizophrenia can have strengths built into its terrible nature. With the advent of medication and advanced treatment we are capable of forming our own ideas, opinion and voice that can strengthen us as a disabled people.

Having Schizophrenia does not mean that you should be treated unjustly. We deserve the same basic rights as anyone else experiencing a debilitating illness. (Schizophrenia is an Illness, Not an Evil) Our disease is just that, a disease and nothing more. I am not a flu virus when I am sick, nor am I a bacteria when I have an infection. Why should we even call ourselves “schizophrenics”, as if our illness is attached to our very souls? We have beating hearts, and are veins bleed like anyone else. Our emotions are hurt when we are abused and our passion is just as strong, even if it is sometimes misplaced. Everyone is defective in some manner, so why should we be thought as being less?

Many with Schizophrenia, like myself, have experienced homelessness at some point in their lives. The experience can be humiliating and complicate the treatment and symptoms that we suffer through. It is nearly impossible to recover without this basic necessity. Though the overall experience of homelessness was degrading, there was a certain freedom that it also allowed me.

Originally the purpose of this blog, "Creative Schizophrenia", was to create a new form of art, that had not previously been done before.  To make a new style of writing based upon irrational thought rather than that of irrational emotions.  To turn Schizophrenia into an art form.  I never intended to be an advocate for people with Schizophrenia nor did I intend to offer support. That was more of an unintended side effect.

Though I write a blog on Schizophrenia, I have no clinical experience on the subject. In fact, I have rarely spoken with someone suffering from the same debilitating condition which I am afflicted with. I can only remember a few times that I had a conversation with someone who was actively psychotic. One of these occurred at a local coffee shop in the heart of Cincinnati several months ago when a man walked in with tattered, unwashed clothes and sat down on a stool next to mine. He was convinced that he was Superman and that Republicans were following him and putting ideas in his head. Even to me, these ideas seemed particularly bizarre and I almost laughed. Yet I could not help but realize that I, myself, could have easily succumbed to a similar fate if it was not for the medical attention and care I have received throughout the years.