My Personal Past. One screwed up life.

I was born in chandler Az. My mother did heroin and other drugs and drank while she was pregnant. Let me add she KNEW she was prego and still did those things. I was born a  Fas/ cocaine baby. For those of you who dont know FAS is fetal achol syndrome,and i went threw cocaine withdrawls. Some how my mother managed not to go to jail and, got custody of me . Than procede to leave me unatended for several days  with out my little machine that was supose to help if i had an asthma attack and no meds. Luckaly some how the police found me. My mom arested,  gave custody to my grandma, her mother. My grandparents were great aside from the occationaly beating. My uncle there son also lived with us. He was a basterd who always picked on me and called me nigger. Opps did i forget to telly you my mom is white and my dad..... well i dont know some other color besides white.My uncle molested me from age 3 (my earlyiest memory) to 17. Hes admited to molesting me scince i had gotten to the house. I would of been a little under 1. To much for me to fathom right now. Funny how he wanted to be a nazie but he was screwing his neice who was not white. Aint that a no no in there rule book. I started cutting when i was 7. Started smoking when i was 8. Became a type 1 diabetic at 11. Man life sometimes throw a curve ball at you and sometimes 2 or 3 or.......A hell of a lot of them.I have nightmares,Flashbacks. I see things, and i talk to trees. (look at my other blog post). I got myself one hell of a mind just dont know what to do with it or how to control it. I would of been a great actor in One Flew Over The Cukoos Nest. Hell if you would taped my whole life it could of been called that. Well thats all for now folks.. as buster bunny would of said.