How Verbal Abuse from a Father Affects Daughters

The dynamics between a father and a daughter can affect how she grows and matures. For example, if there are elements of verbal abuse during childhood, it can negatively alter her emotional wellbeing and development. 

As a victim of verbal abuse from my father growing up, I experienced many disparaging side effects, including low self-esteem, reduced self-confidence, and continually suffering from trust issues. These issues are not only due to verbal abuse from my parent, but that is where they started and continued throughout my life. 

Negative Side Effects

Some grown women will experience and deal with verbal abuse differently than others. How you manage negative side effects is a personal journey that is your own. In my experience, some complex issues that arise from being the victim of verbal abuse include: 

• Decrease of self-worth
• Low self-esteem
• Reduction of self-confidence
• Anxiety
• Depression
• Trust issues
• Eating disorders
• Low academic achievement
• Difficulty maintaining friendships
• Bedwetting
• Insomnia 

Out of this short list, I experienced eight of these side effects during my childhood and as an adult. It can be shocking how detrimental verbal abuse from a father can have on his daughter. 

Coping Mechanisms

Because everyone's experience is different, how a daughter copes with the toxic environment her father provides can vary. In my experience, some common coping mechanisms can be: 

• Aggression or abuse towards others 
• Withdrawing from people
• Defiance
• Teen pregnancy
• Drug or alcohol use
• Criminal activity
• Suicide or self-harming activities
• Other risky behaviors 

Turning It Around

Growing up with a verbally abusive father was toxic for me in many ways. Thankfully, through years of therapy and the love and support of my immediate family and friends, I am processing the events of my childhood. In addition, professional counselors guide me on strategies to cope effectively with my present-day situations so I do not repeat the same mistakes. 

Although my childhood was not ideal, I have come to use that situation to benefit my own children. I know how worthless and unloved I felt as a child, and I never want my children to experience a similar circumstance.

Of course, no parent is perfect. However, I try every day to be more open, loving, and supportive of my kids, doing everything I can to ensure their childhood is not the same as mine. Through the years, I have also learned to apologize to my kids. This behavior allows them to see that I am not perfect, I do make mistakes, and I am willing to take responsibility for them and move forward so it doesn't continue. 

If you are still struggling with the effects of a verbally abusive father, seeking professional help can guide you on the path to healing and recovery.