Bipolar Disorder and Ghosting: It's a Big Problem

I feel with every single one of you. I’ve been seeing a guy for about 3 months now and wvery 5-6 weeks will just disappear in me. Nosigns before and no explanation. He told me early on that he had bipolar 2 and I said I still wanted to be with him and be there for him.
I’ve told him many times that I’m here for the good and the bad time. And when we are together and things are going good it’s great. He tells me how much he likes me, how much he connects with me and how much he appreciates me.
But then he dissapears for 3-4 weeks without sending me a message, replying to me or even let’s me know he’s okey. I’ve told him that it’s fine if he needs time but that everytime this happens I get worried sick. I just want to know that he’s alive and not somewhere in a ditch dying.
I really really like the guy and that’s why I’m putting up with this. But what bothers me the most is the feeling that if I ever needed him he would not be there for me. If I went to the hospital, weren’t feeling well or really struggeling he wouldn’t care because he is in a dark place and ignoring wverything else in the world.
I’m honestly not sure what to do anymore. I’m currently on season 2 week 4 of him ghosting me.. guess I’ll just wait for him to come back and then talk to him then

married for 30 yrs. husband was diagnosed this year. he has ghosted me and we live in the same house. it has been for 10 yrs. i was just taking care of things and the kids and figured as soon as kids were all out of the house, we would either separate or just live as roomates as we have been. he has done better since on meds, but the ghosting still happens. i remind him im still here whether you want me to be or not.

My boyfriend is bipolar and self medicated. He has been taking something he buys online in liquid form under the tongue. It wasn’t ideal but it actually did seem to be helping him and I was at the point where if it helps I’ll take it. Over the summer he started to slip into old negative behavior, when he is manic he gets mean and snarky. He picks at everything I do and say, criticizes me and calls me names. A few weeks ago he started going to a psychiatrist for experimental ketamine treatments. Before that he became obsessed with weight loss and fasting. He lost 20 lbs and starting fast for 48 to 72 hours at a time once a week. He was constantly food shaming me and trying to get me on his dieting level. Then he added the ketamine into the mix and was intolerable and mean all the time. Last week I picked him up from an appointment and he picked a fight with me, said a bunch of hurtful things and broke up with me. I went to his house and gathered my things and left. We didn’t talk all week. He sent me a message that night reminding of an obligation I had in the morning. I didn’t respond and I didn’t make the obligation either. I ran into him a few times that week at work (yes we work at the same company so there’s that) the first time we shared an elevator and made pleasant small talk. After I felt ashamed for even being nice to him after how he treated me so the next few times I just ignored him altogether. He messaged me on fb that night and said he missed me and wished I’d come over for some jalapeño poppers he’d made. Then the next day we chatted and he seemed like he was having regret and was still even considering coming on my trip for my bday in October. I tried to reach out the next day but he ignored me. Then I had asked about a couple of things I forgot to grab from his house, I said I’d leave my car unlocked and he could just leave them in my car at work l. That way if he didn’t want to talk he didn’t have to. Days went by and nothing. No returner stuff and no response. I waited a few more days to give him space then I messaged him again. This time on fb messenger so I could at least see if he was reading my messages. I said if he needs more time let me know. If it’s done and he doesn’t want to talk again at least let me know and return my things but either way please don’t leave me hanging. I’ve done nothing to deserve that. Read the message but no response. Even fb says we are still “in a relationship” he hasn’t told his family whom I’m close to and I wanted to give him the opportunity to either figure it out and or tell them first. He has had a history or being in w relationship and then ghosting her. I don’t know what this is or what he wants. I feel like I’m going crazy and not sure what to do

I have been completely ignored for 3 months. It has really helped me to read this article and read everyone's comments. Going through divorce after 14 years. Painful. Thank you all.

I need help. I cant differentiate between my boyfriend being bipolar or just being a jerk. Its been 3 months since we have been dating. The first few weeks he was amazing, literally texting me day and night. Always wanting to meet up and then all of a sudden a month later, he ghosted me for 5 days and then showed back up with no explanation. I forgave him and we moved forward then exactly a month later he ghosts me again. He would show signs of major mood swings. He eats once every 24-36 hours. He has nightmares almost everyday. We have had no problems or any fights. Hes calling me baby one day and then a few hours later he just disappeared. Its been 10 days and ive heard nothing back from him. He posted once on his snapchat story and he knows i can see it but he didnt even care. Idk if im making excuses for him or this is really his disorder.

I have been in a live-in romantic relationship with someone that has bipolar 2 disorder. We were together for 4 years and it has been an absolute emotional roller coaster. She was the first person i had met with bipolar disorder so i was clueless for awhile. I only started realizing something was off with her emotionally stability a few months into the relationship, because she was really good at hiding her emotions. I started to later notice her manic full of energy episodes and depressive episodes, but i had always thought this was a part of her personality due to her past traumas with family and past relationships with exes. She had told me that her broken relationship with her parents was the reason why she had moved out at the age of 18. I met her when she was 20 and i was 21 and at the time i had religous parents that i wanted to escape from so i took the oppurtunity to live with her. I fell in love with her for her sweet, loving, kind hearted and genuine personality. I always had overlooked the savage side of her that was irritably verbally abusive, manipulative, hateful, and full of unnecessary complaints. About half a year into our live-in relationship i had realize that her emotional personality was a mental illness, bipolar disorder. Upon realizing this i was already emotionally invested and had told her that i would try to always be commited to understanding her bipolar disorder. Our whole relationship has been respectfully great. We had spent almost everyday together working multiple jobs for the past 4 years to make ends meet paying the bills and rent. We would always get stoned and go on dinner dates. She would go out of her way to do things for me as she was full of surprises on our monthsaries. She would always assure our relationship and would tell me I was the one she loved the most. She was quite responsible always cooking,cleaning, doing laundry, etc. I've seen her struggle with her depressive epsiodes and i've always comforted her with hugs and kisses. Like any other relationships we've had really bad arguments, but we both maturely always manage to come to an agreement and accept our faults. 4 years into the relationship i really believed that she was a person that i could have a future with and eventually get married. Then came a turning point to our relationship. We both started working at a marijuana grow op and she had started smoking excessively and drank energy drinks every single day for a month straight. I believe the high amount of caffeine worsened her anxiety and ability to cope through her mood swings. She had also met a new co-worker that i have noticed they have gotten uncomfortably close and his intentions were clear that he likes her. I've confronted her about and she claims that they are nothing more than friends. I've even caught her texting him it was nothing sexual but she tried to hide his phone number by saving it under her girlfriend's name. Her excuse was so i dont get butt hurt about it. After work she would be emotionally exhausted and she slowly started to drift away from me. I also had a gut feeling that she caught feelings for this other coworker of ours. We both ended up getting laid off from the job and thats when she was a complete emotiotional wreck. Out of nowhere, out of the god damn blue she was saying she needed space to be alone and that she was feeling alot of pain and hurt inside and she could no longer give me love and that its not my fault. She brought up how she wanted to move back with her abusive parents and that we give eachother space for a month for her to better herself, which made no sense at all. I have been the one supporting her and basically being her therapist for 4 years. Anyways she proposed that we give eachother space for a month and not talk to eachother at all and after she gets to decide if she was better enough to keep our relationship going. I had a gut feeling that she wanted to GHOST me after that one month. So i confronted her about this "space" she wanted and what her intentions were and she literally told me that our relationship is coming to an end. Im 25 years old now , scratching my head asking myself what did i get myself into.

Do people in an episode appreciate kindness and/or encouraging messages here and there while in an episode/pulling away/being closed off? Even if they may not respond?

Hello all,
It never ends. It will keep happening over and over again.
Don't put anything financially in their name and leave run ASAP
It never stops

Me and my partner was together for 8 months everything was great spend every night together we bought presents great we was good together says I'm best partner he had. We had few arguments like we all do then he had alot of crap lately lost his house, cat had to go to his dad's, work been hard then he crashed his truck all stress then he snapped now down sad depression breakdown. Total shock he like a different person. We don't live together but since his illnesses we now never see each other or hear from him. Shock everything was great it like he blaming me for everything he sees his mates family not me. For last month it been hard I've cried not slept he pushing me away. I sent thinking of you card every week even once a week went up drop goodie bag of for him to his neighbour to give never even got a thankyou. Then surprise we met week ago could see he was not the guy I new down sad quite. But he bought new truck had hair done new clothes. Then said SHOCK maybe we be friends what I said no I don't want that. I cried so much when I got home. Was that low surprised I thought this it im sick of this. I've stood by you now this. I was at one point thought my life ended told him in a text im done I dint get a reply. Not even next day. For all he new I could be dead on floor. He replied back im ill I don't need all this crap I said all about you. WHAT has happened to this guy. what do I do driving me mad week now no contact ???? I think he got Bioplar

I’ve been in a relationship for a year with a guy with bipolar. In that time I’ve seen and supported some of the worst highs and lows and he has trusted me with that implicitly. This time however as an episode has been brewing, he has decided to take personal offence to comment I made about myself, and some how completely twisted this as being a criticism of him. I’ve spent hours trying to support reassure and have been resolute in that but it’s not enough. As a result has been very nasty name calling and taken to blocking me everywhere. Very worrying behaviour not knowing if he’s okay etc but I also believe we both need a break. Kinda hopeful at some point he will unblock and we can discuss but also preparing for worst case also. Very sad given how we connect amazingly and love each other very deeply but can’t help but think maybe this is for best. Clearly I’m not what he needs or we wouldn’t be where we are today

This was really helpful to find that other people are in the same boat. I’ve been in a long distance relationship on and off for 17 years. I started talking to this guy when I was 13. He had a damaged childhood, with his mum dying from cancer when we were 15, followed by his dad committing suicide shortly after, and abuse from his step dad the following years. He’s extremely broken. We talked for hours everyday through the night and leaned on each other through our teens. At 23, my dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer and when I told my guy, he couldn’t handle the pain of it and disappeared for 5 years. I was unable to trace him down. Eventually I moved to Canada from England and one day when looking him up I found his old social media account had been reactivated. We got back in touch and it’s like nothing had ever happened. He told me he was diagnosed with bipolar shortly after my dad passed away in 2014 and was in a bad way, but he had kept an eye on my progress and thought I hated him for leaving me, so he thought I’d be better off. We fell back in love and he made many attempts to visit me in Canada although his anxiety and mentality stopped him every time. After a year, I decided to fly back to England to bring him back with me. We both quit our jobs and decided to start a fresh together in Canada even though this was during the pandemic.
Since being back in the uk, we have still not gotten together. he has had many depressive episodes and has now ghosted me around 6 times in the past 6 months, sometimes due to having covid, or the death of his grandfather. It hurts me every time he goes because I’m always anxious he won’t be back. He’s now been gone for 10 days. Not the longest time, but it’s a struggle being here with no income and needing to get home through these tough times. He’s the love of my life and when things are good, we are incredibly strong and loving. But it really takes a toll on my own mental health. I’m trying to be understanding and I’ve never given him the feeling that I would consider giving up on him. We know each other better than anyone else could and it’s important to me that he understands he deserves love and happiness just like anyone else. But my heart goes out to all those with this disorder. There is someone out there who will prioritise you. You just need to let them help you.

My story is similar with the ghosting when he’s upset. He drove home at midnight after an imagined slight/completely illogical after two huge glasses of wine. Would not answer the phone all night and next day. Returned things we had bought together. I have many examples of drama and pain and immaturity. We only dated for 4 months but he was so incredibly loving and sweet when not in a mood. I was never allowed to have my own moods/he could not handle it and they were mild compared to his. He insulted me SO bad the other night as we crawled into bed. I was up all night with tears and waves of stress. I begged him to apologize and he insisted he meant it and that “it was not that bad”. The entire 4 months have been either extremely loving or extremely irritable. That day I made him leave his key and take his things out of my house. All he had to do was acknowledge my pain. I just don’t understand it but it’s on par with the whole way the relationship has been. This happened yesterday and although I feel relief I still love him and want to make sure he’s ok. He is ignoring my texts and phone calls completely. I’m sure by now I’m “against him” like “everybody else”. I know in my heart I did the right thing because I’m recovering from a car accident and I also have my own mental health to worry about. I know my life with him would be very hard. It’s all so painful. I hope he sticks with his new therapist and that we can work it out one day. If anyone would like to answer this post I would really appreciate it. He’s such a tortured soul who literally does not know how to have a respectful, adult conversation geared towards resolution. Instead he just escalates. I feel my own mental health regressing.

Thanks everyone for sharing your stories. I have a couple of people in my life with bipolar disjunction. . When on medication they can seemingly function normally. I have one friend that goes back 60 years. We have been close. Somewhere around 5 years ago I noticed her erratic behavior. We don’t live in the same city so this became apparent when she visited us. Unfiltered and no boundaries the behavior was quite a shock. I won’t go into details but after 5 days of that and speaking with her family members much came to the surface. She said she hadn’t brought enough meds with her. Whether or not that was true she had people feeling like babysitters before she went home. She would have periods of normalcy. For a time afterwards she lived with her daughter and that not working well for the household she went to a half way house of a sort where meds would be sorted. Then she finally got her own place. Our friendship has been through many phases. I decided to move nearby because I had not recognized patterns to her behavior changing and getting worse over time. We had many conversations where she seemed herself, doing the right thing to get help. Now that I am here, after and for many months she has cut me out of her life. I was hurt at first even angry. I am approaching indifferent as I have decided to cut ties with her. It is too much of a roller coaster. Also my husband and I will be moving back to where we came from. I read somewhere a statement that addresses this issue very well. Having bipolar doesn’t give you a free pass to treat friends with no respect. So we move on. She is on meds, found a new therapist and has a life even in the pandemic. The difference is I am not in it, but it is my choice not hers.

WOW! ALL OF THIS IS INCREDIBLY INSIGHTFUL AND VERY CLARIFYING TO SAY THE LEAST. RECENTLY STARTED DATING A CHILDHOOD LOVE I'VE KNOWN FOR NEARLY 30 YEARS NEVER KNOWING ABOUT THE BP UNTIL JUST A FEW MONTHS AGO. GHOSTING WHILE LIVING TOGETHER HAS BEEN ONGOING FOR OVER 3 WEEKS NOW, CONSIDERING THE VERY INTENTIONAL DAILY COMMUNICATIONS THROUGHOUT THE DAY COMING TO A VERY ABRUPT HALT HAS RAISED RED FLAGS ON SO MANY LEVELS. AFTER READING ALL THESE POSTS/EXPERIENCES IN AN EFFORT TO EDUCATE MYSELF, I'M NOT SO SURE THIS WHAT I WANT MY LIFE TO BE IN AN ONGOING RELATIONSHIP WONDERING AND WORRYING WHETHER OR NOT EVERYTHING IS OR IS GOING TO BE OKAY AS I DO HAVE TO CONSIDER MY OWN MENTAL/EMOTIONAL STATE OF HEALTH AND SELF RESPECT.....

I WISH she would just ghost me. I've been in a relationship with somebody with Bipolar and OCD personality disorder since summer, and have been trying to get out of it almost the entire time. I realized it had been a mistake early on, but she managed each time to keep me in it with threats, fear, obligation and guilt, and frankly, she scares me. I've tried just honestly talking to her and she winds up having a panic attack. I've tried just taking a break and some space, and she felt abandoned and wound up in the ER. I wish I could just escape this. I would have just sent a text, taken the coward's way out and been done a long time ago if she didn't know where I live, but I can't risk her showing up and being crazy, and I also don't want her life to fall apart or she hurt herself.

My girlfriend of three and a half years ghosted me. She was diagnosed BPD-1 about 20 years ago. I believe she also deals with bipolar psychosis or bipolar with “features.” I don’t think she’s aware of the psychosis aspect of the disorder and that she suffers from this. Her mind creates alternate realities and delusions. She blocks out or represses stressful, anxiety-inducing topics or experiences. We both have children and decided to try living together. We discussed before taking this step, that if blending families didn’t work out for any reason, she’d move out and we’d continue our relationship. Well, it didn’t work out because of differences in parenting style and philosophy. We talked about how the best thing for the children would be for us to live in separate households. We were in agreement and she said she’d start looking for a new place. After about a month, she hadn’t looked for a place so I asked her about it. She told me that we didn’t have any such conversation. I asked her every couple of months if she was looking and she began changing the topic or ignoring my question all together. There were several heated exchanges after that and finally two years later and more heated exchanges, she looked for and bought a house. She tried to get me to ask her to stay at every step in the process but I held firm. This was in the best interest of our children after all. Once the deal was done, we talked again about how we would continue our relationship. I pointed out that it wouldn’t be too different since her new house was only 6 blocks away. Everything went downhill from there. When it was time to pack and move her belongings she said she was too overwhelmed. I ended up packing and moving all of her stuff. As the move was nearing completion, I was dropping a few things off and noticed that she hadn’t been to bed in many days and was manic. A day later I asked if she was manic and if she should make an appointment with her doctor. She told me that she wasn’t manic. I had moved the last of her things. I hadn’t heard from her in about a week and her mail was piling up. I texted her and asked if I could bring her mail to her. She responded that I was not to call, text, come to her house, or go to her daughter’s school or she would call the police and file for a restraining order against me. I checked in periodically and the threats started coming from her girlfriend. She accused me of stalking and harassing her friend. One of her psychoses is paranoid delusions, the belief that someone is out to get her, wants to cause her harm, or is stalking her, etc. She has vilified me and developed alternate realities to cope with her feelings of rejection, despite my letting her know that I wasn’t rejecting her and that I wanted her in my life forever. I told her we’d live like this for a few years and then when the children are older, I would marry her. Her response was that I was trying to manipulate her. My best guess is that her manic episode triggered her psychosis. She believes the alternate realities her brain has created to cope and has ghosted me ever since. It’s been 9 months and she hasn’t contacted me in any way. I want to reach out and suggest that she talk to her doctor about psychosis but I’m afraid she’ll follow through with her threats and call the police. I don’t believe she will ever realize any of this on her own and I’ve most likely been ghosted for life. She didn’t formally break up with me and the last I heard from her we had a wonderful future ahead of us, then nothing. It is very painful to have the woman I love go from a bright future together to all of this with no contact in 9 months with not so much as an explanation.