Bipolar Disorder and Ghosting: It's a Big Problem

I am so glad I came across this article, and reading the comments, realize I am not alone. I have been with my boyfriend, on and off, for almost 7 years. During the first 3-4 years, his ghosting me was much more frequent. The last 3 years have been much better in terms of his ghosting me. We became a lot closer during the pandemic and started talking about our future…there is a ring that he is making payments on. Things between us were better than ever. I do not know if he was ever officially diagnosed with BPD, but he has often mentioned feeling depressed and has alluded to BPD in the past. He recently started a new job/business. The past few months he has been more inconsistent with being in contact with me. At this point, I have not heard from him in 6 weeks. He has not responded to any text messages. I am not sure if he is coming back this time, even though before he went MIA, he told he loved me more than ever. I cry all the time and my heart aches. I love him, but this is torture.

I know this article is a little older but I just found it. My boyfriend of 3 years (off and on) ghosted me for 12 days until I just heard from him. He broke up with me last spring (2021) due to being confused on what he wanted. 3 months later after some therapy (which he was opposed to) he reached out and said he wanted to try again and was working on himself. We did couples counseling to work on our communication style differences but that stopped and his individual therapy stopped in Dec. He's never been on medication or officially diagnosed but 2 weeks ago he broke down saying he hated living in Colorado, he needed to move back to be closer to his kids and he isn't sure what he wants anymore. He said he needed to process and then NOTHING for 2 weeks. I didn't reach out as I didn't want to push him further away, but was checking with his friend to make sure he was ok. Long story short, he sent me a cryptic email with thoughts all over the place this weekend and then we met in person to talk. He said he doesn't have the mental ability to give to a relationship (me) and loved me but was sorry. He said he is going to get help. I'm so broken and sad because I want to be there to help him, seeing my best friend struggle is so hard. :( I know I have to let him heal and move on with my life--it's just really hard after having gone through a divorce and then finally found someone I wanted to spend my life with.

I can forgive you for being sick, but I can't forgive you ignoring it and ruining lives to make yourself a little easier. You haven't been remotely fair, you've been cruel in ways ill never understand, and wouldn't want to. I'm done hurting, you have to live with it now, I've suffered enough for 1 lifetime, it's my turn to be free.

Awareness and communication go a very long way! You're doing great, keep going.

My ex-fiance and I were together 7. years. We lived together from the beginning, pretty much, as I was living with mutual friends and everyone hung out a lot and I was trying to escape my crazy, abusive family after moving out of there and moved in with him. He was my rock, he fully took on financially supporting me, etc. He's always disappeared a lot and ghosted everyone, including family. I would pretend to leave him and move my stuff and then I couldn't get in touch with him to go back. When I'd go back, it took about a week to calm him down as he was really agitated and a complete mess. Once he said "why didn't you come sooner?" Three years ago, when we were between apartments, my worst nightmare happened. I was at my parents as we were in a fight and he completely disappeared. During the three years, he did go to therapy once and then ghosted her too. He moved to another state also. I feel so helpless. I've never been more sad about anything or felt more like nobody understands. My therapist says nobody CAN tell me if he's coming back or not as no one else was there. I feel so alone and scared. That feels kind of nice to get it out though I have major trauma response from this (and from before this) and I ask that people be sensitive.

I have been seeing my bf for 5 years. I worked for him. I noticed a few strange things, like he kept me at a distance, he took very long to trust me. Our love grew over time. The first time he blocked me was when I resigned because of all the bullying from the people at work, after they found out I was seeing him. It was for 36 days. He had a kidney transplant 10 years ago & he told me he was very irritable then. He had another one now, which was so extremely stressful for everyone. He is on 18 tablets. He has been speaking so fast and so much, he is extremely moody, went out an purchased 3 businesses (4 weeks after the transplant) he doesn't sleep - in Hypomania. This is the first time I realize what is going on with him. He always said he cannot have a relationship- I thought he kept me at arms length because of his kidney problems, but I think he is Bpd. Just guessing. I have been under tremendous stress, lost my nephew last year over a long awful suffering, which destroyed my family, 2 job losses, my dog, Bella is dying & I know i have to take her. I am stressing financially. He has blocked me, now during his manic phase. Told me a female colleague is driving him around the country. And said "I should bugger off" When I phone he screams he will block me, we can only whatsapp. I am so down, I don't know how to pick myself up. He' s been under such stress, for years, worrying about surviving. So i understand & these pills he has to take, to stop his kidney from rejecting- i wish i knew long ago that he might be bipolar, I would have been better prepared. I supported him, went through bullying, him not telling his children and ex about me. His ex donated the kidney. I thought we were about to have a future, now, after the long struggle. Instead everything is falling & I have no one to speak to - don't feel like it even helps. I have to find work - just all too much. I want him to be ok and find happiness, I wish I could just speak to him. I also freaked out, thinking he is messing around with this other woman, that made him angry, that is why he blocked me. I read through these comments and I see I am not alone, maybe they just cannot deal with emotions.

I have what I thought was a close, best friend. She deals with bipolar and I have had struggles with depression. Weve been friends for twenty years. In january, she stated she wanted space from me because she was overwhelmed with life and many responsibilities. I dont know if this was the real reason or not. Its been two and a half months since we talked. I am trying to respect her need for space but she will absolutely not communicate with me in any way. We live in two different states but have put the effort and love into the relationship to keep it going. She has a daughter who is four years old and I feel very close to her, like she is a grandaughter. My friend does not facilitate in any way to keep my connection going with her daughter. It feels very selfish from my end. I feel like all she cares about is her own needs and that she wont be there for me if I go through a hard time. She has not consideration for how her actions are affecting me. I have no idea if she has completely walked away from me as a friend or not. It seems very insensitive to me, to cut me out of her life.

My partner has been diagnosed as bipolar three times and refuses to accept the diagnosis. I have been here for him through every episode, but had to create some distance by moving to my own place for safety and security. However, I have told him over and over that I want our relationship to work and I am here for him. He regularly blocks me and does not accept my calls or texts for days and weeks. It is so hurtful! I start to feel very insecure and depressed myself. I worry that he has moved on, etc. I don't know what else to do to support him because this can happen when things are going great between us.

I think I’m being ghosted by my male best friend after an argument, and I think he may be bipolar.
We got insanely close over the last 6 months, shared a deep connection and told eachother everything. We were practically inseparable and everyone would say we’d make a good couple, etc. I ended up falling for him and sadly he didn’t feel the same way, and that was when it all went downhill. Initially, hurt by rejection, I didn’t want to be friends with him anymore but he was persistent on remaining friends with me and didn’t want to let me go. We eventually got back to speaking but it was never the same - we were constantly arguing and at first I thought I was to blame. I would unintentionally comment on every questionable thing he did, which was a lot, and he’d get on to me due to his defensive nature.
We eventually spoke about it and sorted it out, and I decided to not let my emotions get the best of me and I was no longer rude to him. With that said, over the past week and I’d say since we started arguing he’d become increasingly hyper, aggressive in the way he speaks and easily irritated. Despite me no longer provoking him and saying things that could be perceived as rude, he would constantly mock things I say and tell me to shut up when I’m speaking. For the sake of peace I let it go, didn’t retaliate and just put up with it for the whole week, but it was hurting me inside. Alongside that, he was annoying me a lot and draining me to the point where sometimes I’d prefer to stay away from him.
Then suddenly, a few days ago his mood switches and he goes quiet and says that it’s because he’s tired. He was also avoiding speaking to me, but was speaking to others, which really hurt my feelings because I like him a lot, and I couldn’t help but wonder if I’d done something to upset him. When I asked if he’s okay, he said that he just has mood swings and nothing can help him, not even therapy which he attends weekly. He says that they’re just normal, which clearly in his case they aren’t.
Now yesterday, I was feeling very hurt about how he’d treated me the whole week and I didn’t see the point in talking to him about it, because I’ve done that several times and nothings changed. I made a few mean comments on a group chat, where literally everyone was being rude to him and he decides to leave the group chat and private messages me saying that he tried to be cool with me but I’m taking it too far, and that I should stop messaging him. Bear in mind at least 3 other people were also being rude to him on the group chat, it was more banter than rudeness but I’m the only one he’s angry at. I tried to explain my side of things but to no avail, he completely ignores what I say and says after all he’s done for me this is how I act, that all I do is hurt him, he wants to put himself first now, that I should shut up and stop spamming him with messages. He also called me an enemy of progress and that when he’s happy and doing great I’m coming to make him sad.
Then today, I reflect on what happened and realise I had been rude and I desperately wanted to fix things, despite him also hurting my feelings A LOT so I called him and he answered but didn’t say anything so I hung up and called him again several times and he declined. He also ignored all the messages I’d sent him. I decided to put my hurt aside to fix things but he simply won’t respond, and I’m starting to suspect he has bipolar and he’s ghosting me.
He has mood swings often and I’ve noticed, either being hyper or low. I think, when we were arguing constantly, he was having a hypomanic episode and yesterday’s events have led him to have a depressive one and I’m to blame. He has no diagnosis so I can’t be certain but he has a family history of depression and bipolar so he is susceptible to developing the illness, and he displays so many of the signs it’s hard to think otherwise.
I know I should run, and in all honesty I’ve been given the opportunity to, but I love him too much to let him go. The sad thing is, I don’t know if he’ll ever talk to me again. I don’t think what I did is enough for me to be ghosted, and I’m wondering if him being bipolar explains it.

My boyfriend recently stopped talking to me and is trying to end the relationship. We have been together for 7 months. He has blocked me and won’t respond to me. I love him and know he loves me, this is extremely hard and hurts 200% it has been a couple days, he said he doesn’t have the energy for a relationship. He also said he has a lot going on in his life and doesn’t have the time. I just want him to talk to me and for things to be better.

So glad I came across this article and so sorry for all the people in the comments. I fell very much in love with someone I'd known in the past, online, over lockdown and we were super close (never felt so close to anyone) for 4-5 months. I wasn't sure we were compatible overall, despite our passion and closeness. I think this hurt him, even though it wasn't personal, and things seemed good with us most of the time. In the end, after a minor argument, he hung up on me, bread-crumbed for weeks and then sent me a terrible, hurtful email. He'd told me he was ill with autistic burnout (and he's bipolar) so I'd tried to stay in touch and be supportive. But he cut me off in the worst way he could in that email. I haven't had a proper explanation and right before this happened, he seemed totally fine. He was always kind with me before. I think his mother has a negative effect on him and influenced him to cut me off (from what I've heard). It's been almost 3 months since he last video called me and 2.5 months since he sent that email. The first two months since the email were extremely hard. Felt so devastated. Now am doing better but I still want a conversation with him. He told me he'd never speak to me again but idk how seriously I can take that since he was really ill when he said it. It doesn't seem healthy to just cut off with a cruel message and no explanation. I can only put it down to his bipolar disorder. I hope he's doing okay.

My wife disappeared four weeks ago for the first time in our five year marriage/seven year relationship. I believe many years ago she was diagnosed with bipolar. I am full of regret for not knowing the signs or doing more to encourage psychiatric evaluation (we talked about it now and then but definitely left it in the busyness of life). Reading through this blog and all the responses I feel even more afraid. So many of the things written here sound like her. I am desperate to find her but she is not speaking to anyone.

I havent gotten officially diagnosed with bipolar disorder only an "unspecified mood disorder" but my mom has it and I have a family history of it. I have many of the symptoms and they've gotten worse as I've gotten older. I've been told that I have mood swings and someone even told me they thought I had borderline personality disorder but I've been struggling for a while and I go from being okay to hating myself and wanting to die or just disconnected/isolated. I've been around others before for example at school I was sitting in the library with my friend and other people in my grade and I just spaced out the entire time mostly. When my friend would ask me why I would say "Im thinking about something or im trying to figure something out" I've also dealt with compulsive lying and I dont know how to stop. Its like its become a natural thing for me and I hate myself for it but I've always been ghosting my friends and I'll take a few days to answer my mom and I always apologize for it and then I keep doing it and I feel terrible. I left my old school and I told my friends I wouldnt ghost them and thats basically what I did unintentionally. I just get so busy all the time and I didnt respond for a few days to one of my friends but its been weeks and I dont know what to say to them because nothing I say will make it better. I have days where Im doing good and I feel happy and sometimes energized like I have energy. Thats been happening for a few years now, I'll just randomly feel like I have a lot of energy and then other times I'll make a mistake or do something wrong and I'll feel like I should die. I take a mood stabilizer but it doesnt help it just makes me feel empty sometimes and I dont want to lie to my friends about why i didnt respond. I miss them so much I just dont know what to say and I feel like its too late for me. I've also gone from trying to do anything I can to stay alive or not doing things so that I wouldnt die or just having anxiety around death and then other times I feel like I deserve to die because of things I've done. Ive been taking meds for years and I go to therapy once a week. I just lie to my therapist not completely but mostly I do so everyone thinks Im okay so I dont have to go to the hospital again I just dont know what to do and I sometimes feel like some people are better off without me

I ACTUALLY AM BI POLOR AND WHEN I FEEL REJECTED I BECOME MANIC AND I GO FULL ON MAIC MODE I CALL A THOUSND TIMES I BELIEVER THINGS THAT ARE NOT HAPPENING AND I MAKE IT SEEM REAL THEN I END UP SABOTOSING THE RELATIONSHIP AND HE FINALLY BLOCKED ME WITH NO EXPLANATIONS

I could use your help. My son has bipolar and is ghosting me. It’s been a year with no contact. What should I do. I love him so much. Pls help!

I dated a trans man for a month a half. Everything at first was great, but he knew I was moving back to my country so I told him that I just wanted to enjoy what we were having. I remember I settled boundaries and explained how much communication was important to me, and that I needed someone with patience because I'm dealing with trauma. He seemed understandable, telling me how good and huge he was at communicating.
At first when I met him he was always full of energy,
making plans until my last days here, he even wanted me to meet his friends, etc.
Then he started becoming more cold, tired until he told me one day that he is bipolar and just recently started getting his medicines.
He told me he was fine and just needed time to readjust. I didn't know anything bipolarism and that was also my first time dating a transgender person, but I was happy he felt enough comfortable to share that with me and told him that I was glad he was taking care of himself, and that I was there to support no matter what.
I asked many times if everything was ok, that I didn't want to overthink anything, and wanted to make sure that there was communication, but he was always saying that everything was fine without asking back how I was feeling about it.
Several times he wanted to meet up with me, knowing how busy my schedule was, and when I was finding time to meet him he was then making up last minute excuses to do not show up.
The last time he made up an excuse by text I told him that I was sorry but it wasn't working out anymore in that way.
I hoped he was going to try to make it up and try to fix the situation since the time before I told him that it was okay but asked him to do not do it anymore and just talk. He ghosted me right after my message, avoiding confrontation and any kind of conversation. He didn't block me because after a couple of days I tried to reach out back explaining myself and telling him that even if I'm leaving soon do care about him, but that it wasn't right just disappearing from nothing, especially when he knew how important for me was communicating. Even after, and telling him how I felt and that I would like to see or talk to him he never answered back.
I just don't even understand if even cared at this point, I felt stupid because I trusted him and shared so many things with me... I'm trying to tell myself he is just going through many things, but I can't accept the fact he wasn't able to communicate at all....

I am trying to figure out what is going on with the guy I was dating - until last week, and wondering if this is it. We dated for several months and everything was going really great, I thought. We moved very slowly, but I understood he'd come out of a difficult relationship and had two kids from a previous marriage as well. We had a great connection and he was always extremely considerate and thoughtful. He messaged me all day every day, was very interested in my work, etc. I saw him one night two weeks ago and then poof. He stopped messaging, stopped responding. I asked him what was going on via text and he said just busy. I knew it didn't seem right so I called, and he insisted everything was fine. The next day he sent me a TEXT saying he had to cancel our plans for the following night, as he was too busy to date. Although I responded that I was extremely hurt he would end things over text, and not even call, he said that he was sorry but still didn't call. At some point my friend (not at my prompting) urged him to call me b/c she could tell how distressed I was by the lack of closure. He said something like ok, but did not. I can't make heads or tails of it. Did I do something? did he have something going on I didn't know about? I did notice he would get obsessive about various subjects, and he admitted it was a thing for him. He also mentioned taking prozac at one point. Could there be much more going on than I knew?

What is the hardest for me is the not knowing . We’ve been dating for 5 months , and he has ghosted me the for the last 6 days. He told me a few months ago he has depression and BP , used to take Cymbalta. I noticed he would hyperfocus on a political issue , definitely had some paranoia. But none of it was horribly alarming. He’s had a rough few months , lost his place in a fire , and had really been struggling . We only see each other once a month or so just due to all the crap going on, and he lives a few hours away from me. I feel like it’s hard to know if this is just him needing space because he has so much crap going on. He has been in a funk for a bit , but then we just had a very passionate , emotional weekend with him telling me all the right things . And then “ poof” a few days later he was stressed about work and hasn’t texted back . This was just so out of character, that I thought he must have broken his phone , or gotten hurt . We literally text all the time , for hours . I couldn’t believe that the very same man who had shared so much with me and been so vulnerable with me would just walk away. Honestly I’m a bit heart broken and so lost and confused. Part of me thinks he just needs some time to sort things out, but the longer it gets without hearing from him , I just think he’s gone . So then of course , I doubt my ability to know someone . We have had such an connection on every level . I feel very taken advantage of . Because we literally talked all the time about the future .
I guess I’m just trying to decide , do I get mad and give him an earful of how hurt I am , which probably will just push him away . Or do I just give him space and hope he comes back , and not contact him until he does. This has been especially hard since he’s the first person I’ve actually dated since getting out of a 23 year marriage 4 years ago. Talk about major trust issues after this !