When Mental Health Professionals Blame Parents for Child's Mental Illness

If you read my previous post detailing Bob's first inpatient admission to a psychiatric facility, you know I felt horrible about the decision, but hopeful Bob would get help. I also thought the hospital staff would see me as a concerned mother who wanted the best for her son. I had no idea what was actually in store for me and my husband.

Bob's father, still angry over the outcome of our custody trial (I was awarded sole legal custody, he received limited visitation), made certain to drag my name through the mud at any opportunity. We'd been lucky--most people saw his diatribes for what they were and dismissed them.

Bob's therapist at the hospital, however, did not. Shortly after Bob's admission, his father arrived at the hospital, demanding to speak to someone. He was directed to the therapist, and they apparently had a lengthy discussion--about me, which came to light during my first meeting with the therapist.

(The therapist) took every word out of (Bob's father's) mouth at face value. He chastised Ben and I for "yelling and screaming" at Bob all the time--an accusation straight from (Dad), which he has made on numerous occasions and which is not true. (The therapist) told us there is no "magic pill" we can give Bob to make him behave (which we are well aware of, and which (Dad) has accused me for the past two years of thinking). (Therapist) lectured me about how Bob will never improve if the conflict between (Dad) and I continues.

Adding insult to injury, the therapist didn't seem interested in hearing our side of the story.

We asked if he'd bothered to read the judgment entry (from the custody trial). He put his hands up and said "oh, no--I don't even want to get into that." Ben told him, "I understand you want to remain impartial, but really--it would be a good thing for you to have some background on the situation."

To say the least. There's a reason (Dad) lost his legal custody rights. Several, in fact. But (Therapist) took the word of the non-custodial parent before he'd even met us face to face.

We had our visit with Bob after we met with (therapist), and afterward, (therapist) expressed how glad he was it had gone so well. Indeed, he seemed nothing less than shocked and surprised that Bob wanted anything to do with either of us.