Exposure to Fear Builds Confidence

I am a big believer that hobbies can improve our confidence in ourselves. Some of my hobbies include crafting, blogging and blog design, scrapbooking, but especially photography. I love the satisfaction and pride I feel when I capture a portrait that I know will be treasured for years. However, fear is never far away.

I finally had a photo shoot with a complete stranger's family that found me from my website. Even though I knew I had the knowledge and experience to take their pictures and come up with some decent shots, the fear of having to prove myself to these people made me a nervous wreck!

What have I gotten myself into?

The anxiety started the night before the shoot. So many negative thoughts and worries raced through my mind. The location we decided upon I had never been to so I was worried about driving there and if it would be a good spot.

The morning anxiety was worse. I could hardly eat breakfast.

On my drive to the location it started raining. Oh boy here we go.

I show up at the location and there is a "NO TRESPASSING" sign on the front entrance. Great! Now we are going to get hauled away by the cops. I started googling trespassing fines and jail time while waiting for the family to arrive. I wasn't familiar enough with the area to go somewhere else, and neither were they.

Growing up, I was always a good girl. Getting in trouble scared me so much that it was never worth it to me to take the risk. Now, as an adult, I am still worried about disappointing others. I almost called the family up to cancel the whole thing. It would have been much easier on my nerves.

But I didn't. So we trespassed.

The little boy in the family was really upset and didn't want to be out in the cold and wind. It was hard to get a smile out of him.

I was worried that I didn't get any great pictures and that the family would be disappointed in me and think I was a horrible photographer and ask for their money back. I found myself wondering why I thought I could pull off being a professional photographer. The negative thoughts were all consuming.

It wasn't a perfect experience and sometimes I found myself thinking, "Is the money worth the stress?"

Then I got home, uploaded the pictures and did my editing magic in the best software ever created, Photoshop. Although not my best pictures ever, I am pleased with the results.

Then I felt the happiness. Then I felt the rewards.

It's not about the money, its about the internal growth. Its another notch in my belt that will help me to feel more confident in my abilities for the next rough photo shoot. Its about learning not to doubt myself.

Getting out of our comfort zone is stressful, but its the best way to learn and grow. When we give into our fears, it always makes them scarier the next time.

When was a time that you didn't give into your fears?