Breaking Mental Health Routines Makes Moving Homes Difficult

Breaking mental health routines can be hard. Nobody likes moving homes; it's never easy packing up everything you own to start over somewhere new. But it's even more difficult knowing you're going to have to break your mental health routines, the routines that keep you sane, and start all over again.

Routines Were Supposed to Make Life Easier

When I first started therapy as a child, everyone told me that creating a routine would help me deal with everything more easily. If I had a routine, then I wouldn't feel so helpless when the chaos of my mind kicked in. Slowly, but surely, those little routines turned to big, obsessive compulsions (OCD in Children: Signs, Symptoms, Causes, Treatments). I became obsessed with sleeping a certain way, showering a certain way, even how many times I walked in a circle during an episode. If one little thing didn't go the right way then I would be thrown into an immediate panic.

Why Did I Fear Breaking Mental Health Routines?

Not Knowing What The New House Could Bring Made Me Panic

Even though I had been looking forward to moving into a bigger, nicer apartment, I suddenly found myself in the middle of an anxiety attack a few days before the big day (Facing Change? Anxiety Can Be Related to Adjustment Disorder). I started panicking that I didn't even remember what the new place looked like. What did the shower look like? What walls could I punch if I started to lose myself?

Reliving Mental Illness Breakdowns I Had In My House

Slowly my mind started to go over the last three years in my apartment. It was one of the first things that were truly mine--so much had happened there. Suddenly, each memory from my episodes flooded forward. I was reminded of the times where it seemed like I was never going to leave the floor, the moment I realized I had to go back to therapy.

Dealing with My Fear of Breaking Mental Health Routines

The mental health routines I'd created at that apartment were perfect for my healing. I was at the best place in my life. I was worried that moving was going to make it all come crashing down. I would need to start over completely. Not just a new house, but new coping mechanisms, new rituals.

Slowly, but surely, I came to grips that I'm never going to stop fighting mental illness. I've been through worse things than moving into a nicer house--I just have to take it one day at a time.