Schizophrenia and Grief: Stage 2

Having schizophrenia can be very difficult when it comes to dealing with grief. We'll reexamine the stages of grief here, continuing from the last post with stage two.

The Second Stage of Grief

According to Verywell Mind, the second stage of grief is anger.¹ Anger can be a difficult emotion to deal with, especially during times of grief. We will get upset at the thought of having lost a loved one and lash out in other ways. It can also be easier to express than other emotions, such as sadness. It's easier to yell than it is to cry. Anger does not require us to be vulnerable, and it can be easier than admitting we are sad or afraid. Anger is an easy outlet, but it's an unhealthy one.

When coupled with schizophrenia, anger can be dangerous. Hallucinations and delusions can become more acute. Mine became more accentuated. The voices became louder, and thoughts of paranoia became a constant. I would walk out of my door in the morning and be ready to fight. I thought my friends were plotting against me, and I became a different person to my family. I cursed out my cousin and my father; it was bad.

When I experienced grief from losing my friend Amalia I got angry at the world. I felt it was unfair to lose her at such a young age. She had her whole life ahead of her--including hopes, dreams, and aspirations of becoming an actress. I cried for hours, punched holes in the wall, kicked in my closet door, and looked for fights everywhere. I was mad. Writing became a healthy outlet for me to express myself. And it was truly therapeutic.

Finding Your Outlet for Anger Enhanced by Schizophrenia During Grief

When feeling this anger at losing a loved one, we can all find our outlets--for example, walking, exercising, or watching TV. Just sit and be comfortable with yourself. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do, and you don't have to open up to the entire world. Everyone heals from grief at their own pace. When remembering your loved one, it's important to remember and cherish the good times. Remembering Amalia's smile and big personality made healing easier for me.

Grief is complex, and it's more intensive than a single blog post. Everyone feels their grief in unique ways. It's important to take the process seriously and take your time. Find your outlet, find your support system, and find your recovery.

Source

1. Clark, J., “The Five Stages of Grief.” Verywell Mind, Dec. 14, 2018.