Borderline PD and Mental Wellness

I'm worn out from my borderline personality disorder (BPD), pushing me into hyperproductivity and distorting my sense of mental wellness. I used to think my worth was tied to my output, but now I see that this endless chase for productivity is actually undermining my mental health. This idea from borderline was making my mental wellness more fragmented.

The chaos and instability of my moods fuel my drive for hyperproductivity. A to-do list in front of me feels like the only solid thing in a world of quicksand, but it stings when my volatile moods take over, shredding my mental wellness in the process. On the flip side, my hedonistic tendencies lure me in. When ambition and productivity wane, I surrender to overindulgence because, in the throes of depression, all I crave is to feel good again.

My mental wellness takes a hit when I ignore this pattern in my BPD, pretending it's not there. It's like knowing I have eczema and forcing myself to go a day without moisturizing. I do a disservice to myself and then act surprised when the inevitable flare-up comes. Maybe it's time to use my eczema as a metaphor for my underlying trauma and BPD: both need regular attention to keep from spiraling out of control.

BPD and Mental Wellness: A Realistic View

When I'm in the throes of an eczema flare-up, I don't mess around. I pamper my skin with medicated creams and slather on lotion after every tepid bath, even scrutinizing my diet to avoid sparking another eruption. I wish I didn't have to be obsessed with moisturizing 24/7, but staying hyper-aware of my breakout tendencies saves me from managing a rash that's spiraled out of control.

To truly manage BPD and mental wellness, I need to be just as pragmatic about my symptoms. This means keeping my mental health front and center: recognizing the mood swings, the impulsivity, and the fear of abandonment triggers that can derail my stability. Instead of masking these symptoms or bulldozing through them, I need to accept their presence and recalibrate my expectations. Some days will be harder than others, and that's okay. Allowing me the grace not to be hyperproductive every single day is important. By setting realistic goals and being gentle with myself when I stumble, I can maintain a healthier balance and stave off the overindulgence and unhealthy escapism that tend to creep in when I'm at my limit.

Holding My Values Impacts My Mental Wellness and Borderline Personality Disorder

When I stay tethered to what truly matters to me, I find a sense of purpose and direction. Creativity, connection, and self-care are my North Stars. They anchor me, building me up through emotional storms. By keeping my values at the forefront, even on the bleakest days, I can make choices that align with my true self rather than being yanked around by my volatile emotions. This alignment brings stability and authenticity to my life, steering me away from the temptations of overindulgence.

Right now, my values are the bedrock of my mental wellness, weaving ritualized self-care into my daily grind. I'm obsessed with skincare, and my weekly exercise routines have become sacred rites. Knowing my tendency to neglect these routines, I start with small, attainable goals. For skincare, I research dermatologist-approved creams and use them daily. For workouts, it's a 20-minute run three times a week. There's something comforting about setting goals for tangible, physical things.

Beyond taking care of my BPD and mental wellness through physical health, I'm realizing how much I need to sprinkle creativity back into my life. I want to play with my imagination more through writing and daily journaling. It doesn't matter if my projects are good or not. The point is that it brings me joy. It's about having fun, letting my mind wander, and finding little pockets of happiness in the everyday.

More on Mental Wellness and Borderline Personality Disorder

In my video below, I delve into finding those pockets of happiness when they don't just fall into your lap. I introduce a daily practice I call "taking in the good," which puts a unique spin on the usual gratitude listing.