I Am Grateful for My Borderline Personality Disorder

Am I grateful for my borderline personality disorder (BPD)? Yes. Years after my initial diagnosis, I can honestly say I am grateful to have received the diagnosis of borderline personality disorder and for the life I've lived with both the difficult moments and the beautiful ones. It might seem counterintuitive, but there have been unexpected gifts of receiving a diagnosis of BPD. Today, as I close out one year since I started writing this blog, I wanted to share a few of the unexpected gifts of living with BPD and why I'm grateful for my borderline personality disorder. 

Why I'm Grateful for Borderline Personality Disorder

Gratitude is a tool for healing from borderline personality disorder. Learning to express gratitude hasn't always been easy, but it is a practice that has helped me immensely to appreciate what is good in my life, on the good days, the bad days and everything in between. While I don't always feel this way 100% of the time, I feel grateful most days for the path I've been on, which includes borderline personality disorder. Today, I'll share a few of the main reasons I'm grateful for my BPD diagnosis. 

I Am Grateful for the People I’ve Met as a Result of My BPD 

Because of life with BPD, I have met many people I am certain I wouldn’t have met had I not had BPD. I’ve had to seek a lot of help; that’s meant doctors, therapists, treatment centers, and recovery programs. Through them, I’ve met so many people. Some of these people have had borderline personality disorder. Others have struggled with a variety of diagnoses like bipolar disorder, severe anxiety and depression, and obsessive-compulsive disorder. Through this process, I’ve met wonderful human beings who, like me, have struggled with different issues throughout their lives. I’ve come to witness and experience that although all of our pain is not exactly the same, human beings are incredibly resilient and are capable of so much healing. Watching other people get better and walk through the good days and the bad days has been an unexpected gift. 

I Am Grateful for My Spiritual Life as a Result of BPD 

I can’t speak for all people with BPD, but I do believe many of us living with BPD find a spiritual path of some sort. This hasn’t really been "optional" for me. Connecting to, getting to know, loving, and encountering a being much greater than myself has been rewarding beyond words. I don’t come from a particularly religious or spiritual family and so I often wonder if I would have found my faith without borderline personality disorder. Truthfully, without BPD I don’t know that I would believe in God or have the fruitful spiritual life I have today. With that has also come more life-giving and healthy relationships in various spiritual communities, which has been yet another unexpected reason to be grateful for borderline personality disorder. 

I’m Grateful I Am a Writer as a Result of BPD 

I haven’t always loved to write. I actually really struggled with writing when I was in my early years of college. It didn’t come naturally to me. But as I began to struggle emotionally in my early adult years, I found it an incredible outlet for much of what I suffered through. I remember holing up in the campus library with stacks of book, a good cup of coffee, and writing. I ended up majoring in Spanish literature and wrote so much. There seemed to be something I could express in the written word I just couldn’t any other way. With my deep sensitivity (a part of my borderline personality disorder), I began to write about some of my more difficult experiences in my late 20s and so birthed my public writing career. I actually found this column in the midst of a painful breakup where my BPD reared its head once more and I was left picking up the pieces. Writing has always been an outlet for me to heal. 

Are you grateful for borderline personality disorder? I'd love to hear about it.