I am a people pleaser. It is nice to give people what they want and I enjoy taking part in their happiness. Over the years, I have learned that I have to say “no.” As much as I love to please people, it isn't wise to give people everything they want. Sometimes it isn't in their best interest and sometimes it isn't in mine. As someone with an anxiety disorder, it often makes me anxious when I say “no.”

Anxiety brings with it a seemingly endless list of struggles and frustrations. A very common frustration and, for me, incredibly bothersome is anxiety’s loud, unrelenting hyperactivity. The feeling of hyperactivity is sometimes related to anxiety's racing thoughts.

If worry and anxiety were the keys to success, I’d be ruler of the world. Success - it means different things to different people. Someone might want to be a multi-bajillionaire by the age of 30. Someone else might want to be able to eat a meal that day. We all have goals around finances or relationships or academics or fitness or health or anything else that people need and desire. With goals inevitably comes anxiety.

Everyone has anxiety. It doesn't matter how emotionally or mentally healthy a person is; if you are alive, anxiety will eventually creep up on you and give you a smack upside the head. However, those of us who read anxiety blogs on mental health websites aren't having run-of-the-mill anxiety. For the most part, such readers are people with anxiety disorders. Because of our anxiety disorders, we tend to look for monumental solutions. After all, if our anxiety issues are larger than the averages person's, then our solution must be larger as well. But is that true? Are we setting ourselves up to fail, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy, or allowing our anxiety to trick us into overreacting? Before we call in the proverbial cavalry to relieve our anxiety, let’s take a look at seven simple ways to stop anxiety.

Living with an anxiety disorder can make us feel very miserable. Naturally, we want the anxiety, no matter the type, to just go away. So we find ways to treat it and to manage it. There’s medication, therapy, or various alternative treatments. Sometimes, though, this just doesn't feel like enough.

Mental illness is a complicated medical diagnosis in the “best” of circumstances. All people have a variety of emotions, thoughts, and habits that make up their personalities. Determining that something rises to the level of disorder and needs medical intervention isn't always straightforward. For me, the effects of co-occurring bipolar and anxiety disorders make understanding what was happening to me difficult. As far back as I can remember, I have always been paranoid, anxious, depressed, and manic. In fairness, I didn't realize I was manic; I just thought I was extremely happy. But I ended up in the psychiatric ward because I was suicidal, which is a byproduct of the extreme depression. It was during that visit that I was diagnosed with mental illness for the first time.

Many people who suffer from anxiety and panic disorder, me included, have trouble explaining to others why we are having anxiety. Folks understand the traditional “butterfly in the stomach” analogy as to what anxiety feels like and can relate to feeling anxious about visiting the dentist. However, the part the really confuses people is how one can be anxious about something when the “something” doesn’t appear to exist.

Anxiety: worry, concern, apprehension, uneasiness, fear, agitation, angst, nervousness, tension. Anxiety: an awful state of being that encompasses our very being -- mind, feelings, actions. The Mayo Clinic describes it as “intense, excessive and persistent worry and fear about everyday situations." Many of us live with it; few, if any, of us want it. What do we do about it?

This is my first video blog for HealthyPlace and I wanted to do something that I love, but which also causes me anxiety: public speaking. I want to show you what I go through when balancing these two things. For this reason, the video will be shot “live,” in one take only, with no edits, and all imperfections intact. No Retakes. As I write this, I already feel the anxiety building. I’m taking a leap of faith that I hope will have a soft landing.

It’s no secret that anxiety is very difficult to ignore. Anxiety can be loud and demanding, and as a result, we focus on it. It’s very natural for us to do that, but sadly, focusing on anxiety can make it grow. We need to ignore anxiety by  focusing on what anxiety is not.