Recovery Is...

So now that I've been a recovering co-dependent for six years, what I have learned? Here is a summary.

Recovery is about restoring a meaningful relationship with God, others, and myself. All three are co-requisite. All three are interdependent. In order to grow in one area, I must also be growing in the other two. No one area takes priority over the others. None is less important or more important.

Recovery is about finding a delicate balance in these relationships and discovering healthy, productive ways to maintain that balance. I am finding the balance between self-care and taking care of others. I am finding the balance between healthy, functional relationships and dangerous, dysfunctional ones. I am learning how to relate to others. I am unlearning what destroys my relationships with others. I am growing in my awareness of how relationships work and where they go awry. I am finding the balance between what I can change and what I can't.

I believe that every single human being on this planet is making the recovery journey. Those of us in recovery are aware of our journey; however, we find ourselves in a world where most of the people we live with don't know where life is taking them.

Life is a steep mountain road, filled with twists, falling rocks, and dangerous drops over sheer walls. Those of us in recovery are aware of the dangers, but it is OK. We are enjoying the drive and marveling at the beautiful scenery. We have a sense of our destiny and purpose. We know where the road of life is leading us, even if we temporarily lose sight of the goal along the way. We know the joy of the journey and we experience the connected grace of moving in harmony with life.

But others have no idea what they are trying to recover or re-discover. They simply feel disconnected from God, from people, from themselves, and from life. They are frantically looking at their road maps, searching for the answers. They are unaware that peace and serenity could be theirs. But instead, the twists and turns and falling rocks fill them with dread and they feel an uneasy compulsion to react to every situation.

The only real difference between those who are in recovery and those who are not is our perspective. I guess perspective is everything. Perspective is the result of awareness. Awareness leads us to knowledge of our choices and options. It is the awareness of our choices and options that sets us free.

Recovery is about abundant living. Abundant living is not about the pursuit of wealth or fame or beauty or any such definition of success. Abundant living is experiencing the success of being happy with who we are, today, and letting tomorrow bring what it may. Recovery is peace and joy and serenity and laughter—as much as we need—whenever we need them.

Recovery is serendipity—the joy of finding unexpected value and meaning in the mundane, in the commonplace, and in the pain.

Recovery is discovering the unfathomable, secret grace of God and giving it away to others by the way we choose to interact with them.

Recovery is about our choice to live our lives to the fullest, every single moment.

next: Every Little Thing