Anxiety and Overthinking Everything

Hi Hari,
The fear of death is one of the top fears that people have. So you're not alone in this! A therapeutic approach that is helpful with fears like this is acceptance and commitment therapy. You work with a therapist (working with a therapist is ideal, but if it's not possible you can use books or other resources) to learn how to accept things that can't be changed, like death, and then learn to live how you want to live in order to get the most out of your life in each moment. It's not a quick-fix, but it is a very good "fix" for things like the fear of death. You can overcome this fear, or at least make it a lot less bothersome.

Hello Ibrahim,
Thank you for saying that you hope I'm feeling well. That was nice! I am feeling well - but often tired. :) Overthinking is very maddening, and when anxiety makes us worry so much, it can feel like the worries will come true and anxiety will never leave. Those thoughts aren't accurate but instead are a product of anxiety. If you are having thoughts about wanting to die, call or go online and chat with the National Suicide Prevention Hotline. It's in the US, but it is possible to chat with them online if you can't call. If you're not in the US, then can usually help connect you with resources where you are. If you're in the US, they'll still connect you with resources. They are at www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org or 1-800-273-8255. Please know that your experience with anxiety and overthinking don't have to last, and anxiety won't kill you no matter how it makes your body feel. It can feel like a heart attack, asthma, and so much more, but it isn't. Of course, getting checked by a doctor to rule out health problems is a good idea. But anxiety itself won't kill you.

Hi Julian,
Thank you so much for your words. You gave me a boost today! :) As for medication, your hesitation makes sense. The answer to your question is yes, you most definitely do have the right to decline! You can also seek second opinions at any time because doctors have different perspectives. Based on what you've written (I know there is a lot more to you than what's here, but I'll of course stick to just this), you might not even need to seek a second opinion at this point. That could come later *if* you begin to wonder if medication is worth trying. For now, it is perfectly reasonable and healthy to try other techniques to manage your anxiety before just jumping to medication. It's always your choice. Seek input and info, then do what you believe is best for you. You've got this!

Hi Joshua,
What is terrible situation to be in. It sounds like you care about her a great deal. She's lucky! There are times when another person (your girlfriend) is experiencing extreme mental health difficulties, and because of those difficulties, they aren't receptive to what other people are telling them. She hears your words, but isn't actually processing them. That is not your fault. You might try giving her the information for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255; suicidepreventionlifeline.org (there's an online chat service here). She quite likely needs professional help. You can express to her that you'll help her through this. She might not be in a position to listen/receive your support. If that's the case, you won't be betraying her and you're not a bad person if you step back. Give her some time and check in with her down the road a bit. Sometimes that's the best way to care for someone else and yourself.

Hi Bryce,
Relationships can be difficult, and trust issues make things worse. This article might have some helpful ideas: Don't Let Anxiety Ruin Your Relationships - https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/anxiety-schmanxiety/2017/02/unlucky-in-love-when-anxie…

Hi Dan,
Thank you for leaving this inspiring comment. It's easy to feel that there is no hope, and your comment is going to be uplifting for so many. Congratulations on your 4 weeks clean! Not easy for so many reasons. Keep looking *forward* -- with the healthy perspective you have, you'll get to the light and beyond.

Hi Amanda,
I certainly won't do harm to you by trying to tell you what is going on. That would be horrible! You might want to consider checking in with your doctor as an important step in getting to the bottom of this. Memory and recall difficulties could be a sign of something serious, or they could be the result of stress or other things going on in your life. I can imagine that this would be anxiety provoking. Once you address any medical issue, you'll be able to target anxiety-related overthinking.

Hi Elliot,
Thank you for sharing your helpful insight! Shifting our focus makes a huge difference.

Hi Lauren,
It sounds like this has you stuck. When something is affecting you this deeply and hurts both your mental and physical health, it is often helpful to see a therapist (in person or online if in person isn't possible). Having regular support can help you know where you want to go and how you're going to get there.

Hi John,
Your anxiety makes a lot of sense given the back/nerve pain you were having. It sounds like you are very active, so you probably hate the thought of losing this part of your lifestyle. These are very normal and legitimate concerns. Often, with something concrete like this -- where you have a cause that directly relates to the type of anxiety you're having -- you can address the anxiety very directly and with specific action. Have you tried researching hip pain and hip injuries? You could look at symptoms, causes, and treatment. Then, make a plan for how to prevent hip pain and damage. Sports injury websites or orthopedic websites will have all this information, including prevention. Once you know what a hip injury is, you can also know what pain is not indicative of an injury. And you can create a daily prevention plan (certain stretches, drinking enough water, eating certain foods that are good for body health, and other things that will keep you healthy. Taking action like this might reduce your anxiety and increase your physical health.

Oh and by the way im from phillipines so thats why I said Its 1am..

Hi anais,
It makes sense that you're tired! Worrying and overthinking and checking are exhausting. Based on your description, there could be several different things at work (I would never do potential harm by trying to give a diagnosis in this context). Knowing what's going on will help you know what to do to stop overthinking. Seeing a doctor or therapist would be very helpful. You don't have to put up with this!

Hi Anon,
You are in good company here and definitely not alone with this type of anxiety and overthinking. Did you notice that much of your anxiety is about the past or the future. When that happens, it's helpful to bring your thoughts back to the present by using mindfulness and deep breathing. Use your senses to be aware of what is going on right here, right now, and breathe deeply. You could count your breaths if you want to. Think of positive things that are happening in the present. That can help in the moment.
I wonder if there is a bigger issue underlying everything. You're experiencing a lot of stress, and a lot of it could be rooted in your mom's expectations of you. You want to do something that interests you, and that is more than okay. It's normal! Parental expectations aren't easy to address. You don't have to do it yet. Give yourself permission to explore things you like. It will be very helpful to talk to someone. Does your school have a counselor? Or what about a teacher you like and trust? Or another adult in your life? A trusted friend can be helpful, too. Don't be so sure that they'll all think you're crying for attention. :) Reducing your anxiety and becoming okay with admitting that you don't want to be a doctor or a dentist is a process, so be patient with yourself.

plz help me i am waiting of your reply

Hi Rachel,
I like your comment about being sooo tired of your brain. :) I've felt that way before, too, especially around social anxiety. I have a few thoughts that you might want to consider. I definitely understand what you mean when you say you can come across as awkward. Your thought is legitimate, but it might not be accurate. We tend to look at the world and interpret others from our own biased perspective. If you feel awkward, it makes sense to you that others think you're awkward. That's known as mind-reading, and it's very common in people who have anxiety. It's common in everyone, actually, but when someone has anxiety, this mind reading happens more often and is much more bothersome. It's impossible to know what others are thinking, even when we're reading body language and other non-verbal communications. Anxiety skews that, too, and we tend to read into posture, tone, and more. A good strategy is to accept that you don't actually know what people are thinking. When you start thinking about how others are judging you, simply admit to yourself that they might not be thinking about you as awkward at all.
Also, try giving yourself permission to talk when you want to talk and be quiet when you want to be quiet. I'm not sure if you do this, but I used to put a lot of pressure on myself to talk, to say exactly the right thing, and to carry a conversation -- and when I did these things, I worried that I said the wrong thing or came off as obnoxious. Once I gave myself permission to stop doing this, to say something if I wanted to say it and just listen to the conversation if I didn't want to say something, my anxiety decreased and I found it was easier to participate in conversations. Doing this was a matter of reminding myself and practicing. And time. It took awhile to change, but when I accepted this as a process of forward movement, it was better.
Something really big that can be underlying your anxiety is the stress you mentioned with your schedule and to-do projects, etc. Have you made a list of everything that's on your plate? Get it out of your head and onto paper where you can see it. You might feel overwhelmed by it at first, but it's a way to take charge of things. Are there things, even the smallest things, that you can eliminate? What do you love the most? There is where to put most of your energy? What things do you dislike but have no choice but to do (homework in certain classes, for example). How can you balance these in without letting them consume you? Can you talk to your parents about reducing or eliminating some things? Are you taking breaks? Those times when you feel like you can't take a break are the times when you need it the most. Even a five-minute brisk walk outside or a few minutes of slow, deep breathing will help you destress and then work more efficiently.
I tried to find a balance here of not being too long but also giving some basic thoughts. I hope this helps a bit! You've got great awareness of your brain and what's going on with your life. Not everyone has this awareness. It's great that you do because you've identified what you want to change. Your ready to find and employ strategies. Be patient with yourself as you do!

Hi Andres,
Have you heard of depersonalization and derealization? Depersonalization is a feeling that you aren't real, and derealization is the feeling that the world around you isn't real. Both are a form of dissociation, where someone temporarily separates from ordinary awareness or consciousness. These can be part of dissociative disorders, but they can also occur in other contexts. They can be a symptom of anxiety. This info might be helpful if you are interested in learning more: http://mayocl.in/2xZYNOr
Alternately, thinking about what is real can be part of existential anxiety, or anxiety that relates to our very human existence. Existential anxiety can be really troubling, which makes people worry about it, which keeps people stuck in the thoughts. Here is a bit of info: http://bit.ly/2xlUkIT
I would never tell you that either one of these is definitely what's going on with you. Visiting with a doctor or therapist is a really good idea because they can get a sense of the bigger picture and form a deeper understanding of you. Even if you don't think derealization or existentialism quite fit what you're experiencing, that's okay. Asking questions and looking into things is an important part of the process, and by doing so, you're already taking charge of your forward movement.

Hello bianca,
These symptoms sound like important ones to discuss with your doctor. Given that these symptoms began in relation to medical things, following up with your doctor is a good starting point. The two of you can discuss anxiety, and your doctor can recommend a treatment plan.

Hi M S Abdul,
Perfectionism is an ugly thing that can stop us in our tracks. There is an exercise that is great for what you describe. It's called "good, not great." When you find yourself facing perfectionism, recognize it and mentally stop for a moment. Identify what you're doing and what you're doing to make it good. What are the positive qualities of the project, situation, etc., and what are the positive things you are doing. This will help you remember that you are in control and that things really are good. Think of the actions you are taking rather than your thoughts about needing to be perfect.

Hello Abhishek,
Your experience with meditation is something that intrigues me because I have experienced that phenomenon, too. The insights I'll share aren't research-based (I haven't found any studies on this exact effect of meditation) but are based on my own experiences, readings, and observations. When I first got meditation to "work," I found that it seemed to make me too relaxed. So I stopped, and my anxiety, stress, overthinking, etc. returned. I returned to meditation but modified what I was doing. I pause periodically throughout the day to breathe, visualize, and be mindful. I have the same calming benefits. I think why I felt lazy, and why you did (based on everything you wrote) is because I have a strong sense of perfectionism (your text anxiety/performance anxiety is likely tied to perfectionism). I used to believe that if I wasn't going at full speed, and if I wasn't feeling stressed and overwhelmed, it meant that I wasn't working hard enough and that I would fail. So when meditation reduced stress, I actually didn't like it. I needed that stress and all of its physical, emotional, and cognitive manifestations in order to feel like I would do well. It took me awhile to get past that belief, but I did (admittedly, it does still pop up -- I just recognize it and move on). I realized that I could actually be more productive, talk to people better, and feel better when my mind is calm. It was just hard to get used to. This is just something for you to consider. Maybe try returning to meditation knowing that it won't feel right to be less stressed at first. Keep going anyway and see if you actually become more able to work and perform the way you want to.

Hi Jimmy,
Anxiety can stop us in our tracks. It can keep us from sleeping at night and from moving forward during the day. It's truly a trap. Have you ever tried mindfulness? It involves paying full attention to what is going on right now, in this moment. You can use your senses to help -- what do you see, hear, feel, etc. Doing this can pull people out of the past and into the present. It works at night, too, because it distracts you from your thoughts and can be relaxing. It doesn't typically come naturally to people at first, and it can feel forced and even impossible. But it is possible, and it won't always feel forced. It can help you stay in the present and begin to reduce anxiety about the past.

Hello Aditya,
I like the comment you made about anxiety and time lost. Anxiety really does make us lose time and takes time away from the things we need to do and want to do. Negative thoughts can overpower us and dictate how we perceive things as well as actions we do or don't take. Have you seen a doctor? Seeing a medical doctor is a great starting point because he/she can discuss your health/disease concerns. Sometimes, anxiety is an effect of medical conditions, so your doctor can put your mind at ease by talking to you about this. He/she can also recommend a helpful treatment approach to help you know which direction to take. There are treatments like medication, therapy, and bibliotherapy (reading self-help and other books). Your doctor can help you choose the right direction for you.

Hi Kayla,
A very frustrating thing about anxiety (or about being human in general) is that we do bounce back and forth between finding peace and then losing it. It's very good that you do find (create) peace. What is happening in those times when you're at peace? Think in terms of your thoughts, feelings, actions, surrounding, circumstances, etc.) A key to making the peaceful times greater than the times of corruption is to figure out what works and do more of it. Curiosity is a character strength and it is one that can help beat anxiety. Use it here: wonder what creates peace. What are your interests, things that you're curious about? Exploring things just might help decrease anxiety.