Why Anxiety Makes You Feel Stupid and Like a Failure
Does your anxiety ever make you feel like a failure? Does it ever make you feel stupid? A reader's comment on my post, Top 10 Anxiety-Friendly Jobs really got me thinking about this issue. They indicated that anxiety at work had caused them to exhibit some of the common signs of low self-esteem, including difficulty holding down a job, and becoming easily confused and forgetful. Because I've struggled mightily with these same issues at work, it also got me thinking about other reasons why anxiety makes you feel stupid and like a failure.
Why Anxiety Makes You Feel Stupid
Anxiety is a complex beast. I like to think of it as a collection of various fears and the physiological reactions to those fears. One of the anxiety disorder symptoms I've noticed in myself is that I become easily confused and distracted when I'm anxious. Which is to say, I'm confused and distracted most of the time, which can make you feel stupid. I have a hard time focusing and staying on track. I'm terrible at multitasking. I can really only handle one thing at a time, but life rarely happens that way.
Sometimes, anxiety makes me feel stupid because I feel I can't follow conversations. I can't stand conversation a lot of the time. My head is spinning and I just want to withdraw. I'm living with the cycle of anxious avoidance, trying to get out.
Why Anxiety Makes You Feel Like a Failure
Anxiety can make you feel like a failure for several reasons. First of all, people with anxiety tend to have poor self-esteem. We don't tend to think very highly of ourselves. We don't like ourselves much, and, subsequently, tend to believe other people don't like us either. We suffer from cognitive distortions and self-stigma. Our thinking is often out of whack with reality. Low self-esteem and distorted thinking can easily result in developing social anxiety disorder. This further erodes our self-esteem and increases our sense of failure.
Second, most people with chronic anxiety also have depression, and nothing makes you feel like more of a failure than depression. The crushing weight of constant sadness, the despair, and the hopelessness of depression not only makes you feel like a failure, it can make you question whether there's any meaning (or point) to life itself.
Third, many people with anxiety and depression have suffered a significant trauma in their lives, often in childhood. Things like the impact of divorce on children, alcoholism, mental illness in the family, and child abuse can result in a person developing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
I believe low self-esteem, depression, and PTSD are often the cause of anxiety itself. My feeling is that anxiety is ultimately a symptom of deeper, more insidious issues.
What to Do When Anxiety Makes You Feel Stupid and Like a Failure
I'm solutions-oriented, so I keep working on solutions for anxiety, even when it feels pointless -- like it does today. In spite of that, here's some things I do when anxiety makes me feel stupid and like a failure:
- I try to maintain perspective. Even though life feels pretty hopeless today, at least I know why it does. It's not because life really is hopeless, it's because I have a mental illness that distorts my thoughts, my feelings, and my physical reactions to daily life. I know through long experience that things are actually better than I think they are. I also know that this hopeless feeling will pass, like everything else.
- I try to stay productive. I have terrible problems with procrastination, so I know that, for me, part of building self-esteem is to be productive every day. Productivity is, of course, a relative thing. Some days, being productive means I make it out of bed, so my definition of productivity changes from day to day. There are three main types of anxiety-related procrastination, and I have all three of them. Part of not feeling stupid and like a failure because of anxiety means doing my best to stay as productive as I can.
- I try to be patient with myself. Look, I didn't wake up one day and decide that acquiring generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) sounded like a good idea. It's a disease, and the worst thing about it is it tells me I don't have a disease, but that I'm just lazy, stupid, and good for nothing. But that's a lie. One of the real tragedies of anxiety is that it falls directly in line with society's stigma about mental illness in general -- that people who suffer from it are weak, crazy, stupid, and worthless failures.
I hope this sheds a little clarity on why anxiety makes you feel stupid and like a failure. It's a nasty disease, and our culture has little patience or tolerance for it. But, even if others in your life are telling you you're a failure and you're stupid because you struggle with anxiety, I'm here to tell you differently. You are not stupid, and you are not a failure. And neither am I.
You can find Greg on his website, Twitter, Google+, Pinterest, and Facebook.
APA Reference
Weber, G.
(2015, September 30). Why Anxiety Makes You Feel Stupid and Like a Failure, HealthyPlace. Retrieved
on 2024, November 14 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/treatinganxiety/2015/09/why-anxiety-makes-you-feel-stupid-and-like-a-failure
Author: Greg Weber
I struggle with GAD.. GAD causes many of us to make stupid decisions, which makes things even worse. .This article helped.
I’ve never been diagnosed, or even spoken with a mental health professional for that matter, but this article describes me to a a T. I only venture out of my house for work and to entertain my 5 year old daughter. I have not taken an actual vacation in 21 years, only ever traveling for family obligations such as weddings, funerals, etc.). I used to be quite extroverted, but now the thought of being around anybody other than my immediate family puts my stomach in knots. This has affected all aspects of my life; work and personal alike. I often feel inferior to everyone around me, and that I have nothing to contribute of any real value. The conclusion I always draw is to not bother engaging with people at all.
I have suffered from anxiety for ages. I am on medications, I see a psychiatrist and a psychologist, I am currently doing CBT. I meditate, I listen to soothing music, I try to keep myself occupied, I tell the demon inside my mind to shut up. The anxiety demon hates contentment. It steals all joy in my life. I feel physical symptoms, trembling, numbness in my fingers and toes and before starting proponolol, I would hyperventilate and feel the adrenaline and cortisol race to my core and my chest. I get these "emotional storms" where I cry and scream while in a fetal position FOR NO OBVIOUS REASON.
I am terrified to go out unless it's planned in advance. Going anywhere spontaneously terrifies me. Like you, I strongly prefer just being around people that I trust. I do not like going to parties, weddings, holiday visits, etc. either.
With all the medication that I take, really the only thing that helps me is Indica dominant THC gummies. I AM NOT ENDORSING OR RECOMMENDING THC. About 1/2 hour after taking a gummy, I feel relief from the racing thoughts and ruminations. I am able to focus better, I am calm, I don't hate everything and I don't think about how pointless and worthless I feel. I am not as easily triggered. I don't overuse it, I use it when the anxiety is uncontrollable. But the gummies are give me only a few hours of relief (which sometimes saves me from the emotional storms). I have had some good days these past few months, when I don't feel terrified and I just go out and do what I have to do (to a certain extent) but far and few between, my psychologist tells me that it's progress, but I'm even scared of progress. After all these years, I still don't understand why I'm like this and what it's going to take to change my thinking and the constant fear.
See the irony is, i don't have low self esteem and i am my most favorite and strongest person in the know. But i still have crippling anxiety mostly because of my failures. i have been going through a slump in my life for about 7 years now. I haven't found peace, a bit of desired success so i keep loosing myself. Because i simply love myself so much , i don't tend to give up YET , no true achievements. I am still a looser at the end of the day! what breaks me is i had been a winner half of my life and now suddenly i cannot get 'her' back. and no amount of blogs even fit me in their type. it would have been easier that way! Thank you for your post either way.
Thank you for this. I have anxiety and depression and I feel stupid and worthless at times. I am glad that I am not alone
Everything you said describes me to a "t". It made me cry reading it because someone else could articulate what I have been feeling. Im not good at words so this is amazing for me. To read that someone feels almost exactly like me. I struggle so much with feeling stupid or just a mess up. I know Im not but the dark side definitely takes over.
Thank you for writing this.
For someone not good at words you sounded good to me with what you just wrote. I also am the same. And put myself down all of the time.
Hi, i found your article helpful.In my childhood,I have been abused physically and emotionally.These make me afraid of people and speaking.l also feel depressed due to a hurtful word of my family member and his word makes me in self-doubt.
Yes. I feel stupid often, even though I' m not. I feel as if everyone else has all their ' shit together ' and I don' t. I feel like I am constantly being judged and I am constantly trying to ingratiate myself with coworkers and family. I have social anxiety which makes it extremely difficult for me to talk to people. I have trouble accepting criticism. The other day, a supervisor compared me to a coworker in a way that was critical to myself. Although I accepted it graciously, I felt attacked and under appreciated for the work and efforts I constantly provide. I try to tell myself I shouldn't make a ' big deal ' out of it, but it lingers.
Wow, I can relate. I was told I would be evaluated for a permanent position after 3 months or the job would end. I have a partner, kids, I’m a graduate student, so I had everything planned out to reduce my stress level and meet responsibilities. Then they extended my contract to 1 year, and I found out by a person, not my boss, talking around the subject. It’s a good thing and bad thing because I specifically asked for a direct hire type position. Icing on the cake is no one informed me. It bothers me substantially. I feel like they didn’t tell me because they don’t like talking to me, I make them feel uncomfortable, or maybe they are just unprofessional.
That last part of your comment is one of those cognitive distortions - mind reading. You can't know what other people are thinking unless you ask.
I do that all the time. I think that people give me funny looks, so my mind comes up with explanations. They think I'm rude, or weird. But they're just grasping at anything that reduces uncertainty. Even certainty in me being a loser is somehow preferable to not knowing why and forgetting it.
I suffer from clinical depression and Anxiety. For years I struggled with suicidal tendencies. Because of this, I have lost a lot of fo sleep through the years ranging from 3 to 4 hours a night. I even collapsed a few times when I was out. When I was younger I was at a mall and I started to see circles and then I found myself waking up around a group of strangers and security staff. The same thing happened to me twice in the workplace. For years I have always felt stupid because for one I don't use the big fancy words some of my friends use and two, I never went for my bachelor's degree or any other University degree. Sure I went to College after high school and took up a Fine Arts Fundamentals course but nothing like a Bachelors or a Ph.D. I worked after College as a Machinist Apprentice (Metal Lathe, Horizontal Boring Mill, etc) I worked in shipping/receiving/Chemical Batching/Welder (Spot) Forklift Op and Warehouse. As you can see I'm not fancy with the big words but then neither was Ernest Hemingway and look were it go him, a respected and profound writer of all time. What made me feel extremely insecure about myself is the night my friend and his wife invited me to coffee. I accepted the invitation and while I was there at the table with my friends we were approached by a rather presumptuous know it all. He was a 5'4 guy. Very unclean looking and it appeared as if his clothing came from a clothing bank, so we all knew that this guy had no money for coffee and that we would chip in and buy him something. Anyhow, we paid for his coffee and donuts and we listened to him go on for hours talking about politics, religion, Illuminati, Freemasonry, etc. I have no interest in politics, Freemasonry or the Illuminati but I do know a little about Christianity as I was born and raised as one of Jehovah's Witnesses from 1967 until 1986. 1986. That's the year when I realized that everything I was taught into believing was true when in fact it was nothing more manufactured lies, false doctrines originally created by the presidents of the watchtower and track society Charles Taze Russell, Joseph Rutherford, and Nathan Knorr and the members of the governing body. Charles Taze Russell got is inspiration from the Pyramids of Giza proclaiming that these pyramids possessed the power of God in them. Anyhow my friend mentioned to this guy that I was once a Jehovah's Witness. Of course, this guy knows everything about Christianity. He knows which ones are based on false doctrines and which ones are closer to the truth. He's contemplating on becoming a protestant based on what he feels its doctrines are more accurate than any others including JW's. e turns to me and starts asking me questions about the Jehovah Witnesses and to be honest, the last thing in the world I wanted to have a discussion about my experience and thoughts about the Jehovah's Witnesses. Here I am almost 52 years of age and I was 19 when I left the organization. He's assuming that I enjoyed every little bit of it because I was apart of them when in reality I was born into it and forced into it. My opinion of it is certainly not a good one, a bunch of self-righteous self-proclaimed men of God setting down rules and regulations on what they felt considered to be sinful and immoral in Gods eyes but perfectly normal and morally accepted in society. Anyhow, I became ostracized not only within the congregation but with my family and relatives who are JW's. Anyhow, I listened to this guy and I tried to answer his questions and this guy felt the need to use big fancy words as if he's a Professor of literature, using fancy words that I have never heard before. Because I had to ask him on some of his fancy words he then assumed that I was incompetent and then he decided to ask me what my grades were like in high school? What in the hell do grades have in high school have to do with Intelligence? I really wanted to know him into tomorrow. Here I am with a good paying job, nice apartment, a car, every I worked for through the years and now have been mocked and ridiculed by an unemployed man with absolutely no life skills and spends most of his days and nights talking to strangers in a coffee shop trying to come off as intellectual.
Hi Charlie, I find it irritating when people feel the need to use big words as well, and found it very easy to be honest and tell the person that I’m it interested , actually I say...” yeah, I have no interest in what your talking about” . I was also a raised Jehovahs Witness, my mom brother and I were always treated shitty, like we were a poor needy family by other families for reasons I haven’t a clue...anyways, my moms still a JW i stopped going when a mother was telling other mothers to no let there kids to gage out with me because I was a bad influence, it blew my mind, but any ways, I don’t expect you to see this reply since it’s over a year since your post. Just wanted to say that you seem like a normal fella, maybe You’re too nice, or maybe there’s something about you that possibly intimidating. I don’t know.
Hope things are good. ;)
Thank you for this article! I can relate with just about everything you said here. Counseling/medication is just not for me (I'm not saying people shouldn't go that route, don't get me wrong); where I find help is praying and reading the Bible. God has helped me through so much in life and will never let me down! :) Prayers for all of us!
I was diagnosed with severe social anxiety in 2014 every time i was be around people it would feel like my heart would explode out of my chest being around so many people. I have been out of work since Feb of 2014 i live with my mom. i know think im a loser for doing that but its ether that or on the streets. Its really hard for me i want to work but every time i try to get a job i would get really bad panic attacks and not show up for a interview. This makes me feel like a worthless and it doesn't help that my family doesn't know what i'm go threw. I can't even do the old things i use to like go to movies go out with friends even go outside for a walk is hard for me at some times. I don't get it do they think im making this stuff up that i really want to be this way. I did the therapy thing that didn't help. Every time my mom gets mad at me for something that happens that's kinda out of my controll but she ask me to do it makes me feel like a worthless peace of crap. I don't know what to do i'm at a loss.
Isaac, I'm sorry you are dealing with this. My friends, coworkers, etc never understood any of my issues either. (I have no contact with family.) Families and friends who don't understand can make things worse and not realize it or don't care. My family was my problem and the reason I have MH issues. Try the counselor thing again. I've tried therapist after therapist. Some I could tell after two sessions that they sucked. Some after three to six months. Just keep trying and don't give up because you are worth it and can have a better life. I had a great therapist for close to seven years, then I moved 20 years ago. I saw many therapists and loved none. Everyone began talking about a new therapist who was good. She was good compared to all the others, but not as goods the therapist I moved away from. Less than a year ago I got a new therapist and she is hands down the best ever! Quitting after one therapist shows that the therapist wasn't a good match for you. Therapy can and will work for you if you keep looking for the right person, so don't give up! The perfect therapist is out there, you just need to persevere no matter how hopeless you feel because the right person could be the next one, but you quit too soon! You CAN do this! Prayers and wishes for success in finding the right person, sticking with that person and gradually beginning to change into the person you were created to be. Blessings!
Just about everything you all wrote I can relate to.
I struggle with Depression, a Learning Disability, I'm very slow I sometimes can't remember what I read, or what movie I watched was about. I have Low-Self Esteem, and I have Social Anxiety....I have all these problems.
I often put myself down because of all these issues that I have. People have put me down...growing up I was put in a Special Ed classes where I was made fun of. I'm just tired of feeling like I can't do certain things like regular people can do, and I can't or I have a hard time catching on....it sucks to live like this. I'm glad I found this site!!
no mam i am just dumb. or so i thought before reading this. THANK YOU SO MUCH LIL LADY. you truly have shown me......................dont look out your window.
Thank you so much! I've been learning to deal with my anxiety, and today was just too much. I prayed to God for an angel to help me feel better. Then I had the urge to do a search on Pinterest for why I felt like a failure. Your article came up. You have no idea... Thank you for experiencing what you have to be my angel tonight!
I go back and forth trying to decide if I actually have social anxiety or if I'm just plain stupid. I am undiagnosed. I do know that I feel rather smart if I'm alone for awhile and pretty damn stupid when I'm around others. So I don't know what to believe about myself. I did ok in school but I had to work hard at it to get the grades I got and I wasn't in the honors program. I feel like the other kids would have blown right past me if they cared about their grades half as much as I did. It was often the only thing I had to care about because nothing else was going on in my life. Everyone else had other things to distract themselves with... like friends.
When I was little I had gotten a 60% on my math test.I did not want to go to school at all thinking I was stupid and I was going to fail the class.When the teacher said every one did bad I still felt sick.
OMG!!!! This guy was writing my words in my head. Thank God I'm not the only one who feels like this. I never realized these feelings could be directly linked to anxiety. The part about getting confused sometimes when trying to following conversations...made my jaw drop because that's me! And I feel so stupid sometimes for not catching or understanding things as quickly as others. I feel like I'm going to cry because now it's not just because I might be lazy, insecure, etc., but that there's a genuine problem. And the procrastination part - yup, that's me as well. I haven't been officially diagnosed, but I'm kinda scared about what that might mean. Thanks for writing this article.
Sad but nice to know I'm not alone with this problem. I can relate to everything I've seen posted, but "I feel" I am worse off than anyone. I am the most ignorant person I've ever encountered or heard of in existence and it's amazing I've made it this far in life. I suppose due to anxiety, or maybe ADD, or PTSD, in combination with poor life decisions, I have an ignorance about life that is almost indescribable. It's as if I've lived my life under a rock on an uninhabited planet and have recently arrived on planet Earth. (haha). I've had severe anxiety and severe depression my entire life. I've sought therapy and tried medications, and nothing has helped. My gut tells me doctors will keep telling you they can help you and that things will get better, as long as you keep paying them. When I was in my 20's and having suicidal thoughts, I thought for sure things would get better with time and as I matured. But things got worse actually, because I never really matured in ways and now I'm an immature cowardly 40 year old. I had to take a break from the doctors for a while, and I'm giving it yet another try, because hope is all I've got outside of a grim suicide which I don't have the guts to go through with. Anxiety and depression is such a constant 24/7 cloud that I can't remember the last time I enjoyed anything. I've literally lost my ability to (actually laugh out loud) years ago. Learning and remembering things is terribly difficult. One of the last doctors I saw helped me identify I have ADD on top of anxiety and depression, which may be a byproduct of the other problems. I've often felt my only chance to live a happy life and "get better" would to have a team of doctors work on me. I have no chance of ever having a relationship or saving for retirement. I suppose when I get too old to work at my dead end jobs then I'll have to do like a dying animal and go of into the woods. It's a frightening thought. Well glad to know I'm not totally alone, but if it were a contest to say who's got it the worst, I'd say I'm the winner. (the last line is sarcasm). Good luck and best wishes to anyone reading this. At least your not as bad of a pathetic, ignorant, moron, loser, waste of life as I turned out to be. ; )
You're not a loser. You have a serious illness that doctors have been too quacky to help with. No one would call a cancer patient "a pathetic, ignorant, moron, loser, waste of life", so why should the same be said about you?
I know your comment is old, but my heart goes out to you. I know it doesn't help much, but just so you know, a complete stranger in England is wishing you the best.
I suffer from anxiety disorder. I overcame it for much of my adult life, but remember having it as a child. Now, at almost 65, i’ve Had it for about 15 years. Along with depression, but no mania. I fight every day, with all I have. Then there will be a day when I cannot function at all. Confusing to friends and family certainly. But the stigma is the worst part. Ah, well. It is our cross to bear, yes?
For me I feel "stupid" when I cant drive places. I have had to admit to a new girlfriend that the reason I couldn't some see her was because I'm a pu**y who cant drive because of anxiety
I feel stupid. Others make me feel stupid. I cant even begin to explain this to myself because i have never sat, focused and wrote this down. My social anxiety caused me to lose 3 jobs in a row. of course with losing 3 jobs i felt hopeless. Even if i work my ass off for someone i would always fall short because of the person i am. I could do everything right and still it wouldn't be enough. I fear i wouldn't able to do anything. I am lost and confused, but whats new right.
I am just getting ready for a ssdi hearing.My lawyer wants to know how PTSD affects me.I really don't even know how to explain it.One thing I do regually is spin in circles instead of just turning around.
I'm sorry you are feeling depressed I truly am, I have the upmost sympathy for someone that feels as if they have no del worth due to their own thoughts derived from other or from a severe loss, depression is not a chemical imbalance it's a complex lack of neurotransmitters, I urge everyone of you to shake someone's hand, look them in the eye and shake their hand, help someone even if it makes u feel stupid, if you don't push this then oxytocin will pull you down, but if you pay it forward then oxytocin can lift you up and make you feel amazing, so wait for that smile or wait for that thank you after looking them in the eye, make sure your circadian rythm stays the same and you are getting plenty of serotonin from the sunlight, this will help melatonin which helps you sleep, I would more than recommend you purchase some magnesium flakes and make a liquid from them and spray yourself 20 to 40 times a day cause I think u and I with the rest of the world are magnesium deficient. Start here and set yourself a goal, because if you have no goals then it reduces dopamine which can cause dementia, well my relief has arrived so I have to go but focus on yourself and not what the media and others say about how you should be...you are unique and if you try to be normal you will never know how amazing you can be
I’m a vet nurse in training, I’ve had trouble with anxiety in the past but last year I saw my friend and coworker mauled by a dog, I rushed to her aid, she nearly died, I did everything I could to save her, the images haunt me to this day, she is ok she kept her arm and is in a new line of work, I’ve had such trouble with this in my career, the anxiety makes me forgetful and at my new work I find it hard to learn new things and so much of what I knew as a nurse before is kinda gone from my mind. I’ve been told it’s PTSD and I can cope with that and be strong and get through it but my boss is getting tired of my learning slowly and the more pressure I feel from them the worse my memory is. I’m going to speak to my boss and remind them that yes I may be a slow learner but I am learning and I am a valuable member of the team. My self esteem isn’t great but I’m bloody sure I’m going to force it to get better. And I encourage all of you not to give up! The fact that you deal with anxiety, depression and ptsd everyday makes you so stronger then those without these issues! You are strong, you are resourceful (your looking for answers like on this page aren’t you?), believe in yourselves.
Thanks for writing this. And, reading the comments helped me realize I'm not alone. I feel like i shoot myself in the foot. People say, "Be yourself... " But, when I am myself, I am awkward, insecure, and have anxiety attacks. Then, I walk away self criticising, judging myself, feeling alone, and like I screw everything up. On top of that, i have learned that not many people have the patience for a long term worrier and insecure person. Literally, I will break down in tears and my thoughts turn to..."you are not loved, you are on your own, you are alone, you f* everything up, there's something wrong with you, maybe your broken, you could disappear and no one would care, people dont really like you, etc..." I have CPTSD. I sometimes wish I could move to the mountains, far away from people. But, I keep trying, hoping that it'll get better.
I just googled "why does social anxiety make me feel so stupid" as I just left some terrible job interviews (the first I've had in a year) after my anxiety led me to completely mess them up. I started crying and bashing myself immediately but I'm feeling a little better after reading this. I think low self esteem is a huge part of anxiety which rarely gets addressed in my experience.
Thank you for saying this. Makes me feel less alone.
Hi Gareth.U sound just like me always felt alone and lost.Terribly lonely.Please can we chat.
Well I honestly do not know exactly why anxiety takes the best of us turning ourselves against ourselves.As far as I know about Psychology is that anxiety or other mental Illnesses is that it is part in our DNA. Yes, it may seem like life is against us at times or most of the time, But remember this, never lose hope in yourself. You are the one that controls your body, although our brain might want to go against us at times, you have to fight back.
Hi, I'm just a 16 year old depressed, anxiety and suicidal teenager. I've been struggling with school since to beginning of this school year. 3 weeks ago I was so unhappy and I was depressed more than usual. I have this class that is a required to graduate high school and I'm having a hard time. Its so bad to the point where I've been questioning my future. Like what if I can't graduate because of this class? After I came back from school, I grabbed a knife and I was gonna hurt myself. I called the cops cause I was scared. They took me to the hospital. I stayed there for a day and a half. In that day I called my mom and I told her that I wanted to kill myself. I told her I wanted to go home. Up in the sky. Recently I turned 16 and when I blew out my candles, my wish was to be dead at the of 18. I feel so alone. Sometime I pray to god that I don't wake up the next morning. I'm honestly tired of fighting. Tired of living. I've prayed to god for forgiveness that if I do commit suicide cause I know it's a sin.
Malu,
I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so depressed. Depression and anxiety can get the best of all of us at times. Please reach out to a suicide hotline. (You can find numbers here: https://www.healthyplace.com/suicide/suicide-hotline-phone-numbers/.) It's a free service, and the trained staff will be able to help you. I wish you healing.
Malu, just remember man, you have people that care for you. You might feel like you have it worse compared to everybody else but try to humble yourself. There are people experiencing a lot worse with mental and physical disabilities. Not that it might help much, but remember that your brain will try to play tricks on you, that is when you have to catch that negative thought and stop it. I, myself struggle too, I feel like I can not hold a normal conversation with someone. Heck! I can't even hold a true friendship with people. But, I keep in mind, that one day everything will be better and laugh at the past. P.S. don't let your high school experience dictate the rest of your life. I know it is easier said than done, but if you stay negative then you will become negative but if you stay positive than you will be positive. You have to almost find the right mental tool to help yourself when things get difficult.
Malu, for me it's Music. Sometimes you have to find SOMETHING to distract yourself with something that makes you happy...or at least not sad. For me it's putting on some earbuds, crank that SOB to 11, and feel the music. Heck, sometimes I'll sing! I suck at singing btw, but it's fun and a great way to release the bottled up crap inside. I really hope you find something that works for you. :)
I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety previously. I found a way to cope with it. I recently had a baby. I feel fine towards my baby, but my partner tells me daily how stupid I am, and that I've spent my entire life being stupid. At first I'd ignore it and brush it off, but now it is the most difficult thing to do. I find myself feeling stupid and crying, unable to hold a simple conversation and stay focused, because there is so much on my mind.
Hi Keya, thank you for reaching out. On the one hand, I want to say that it's awesome that you've found ways to cope with the anxiety and depression in your life. On the other hand, it sounds like your partner is putting you down, which can greatly contribute to low-self-esteem, anxiety, depression, etc. I don't know the specific details of your relationship, but I would encourage you to seek some professional support. It is not right for anyone to tell you that you're stupid and I suggest reading the following article: https://www.healthyplace.com/abuse/emotional-psychological-abuse/effects-of-emotional-abu…. Please give careful attention to what is best for your mental health as well as the well-being of your baby.
I just feel there is something wrong with me. I came to conclusion that is anxiety. Today for example, i had a test. I studied and thought i will do good. I got a 67%. I just feel ashamed and disappointed on myself. I study and read but i forget easily. I look up same terminology over and over and i still forget. Im very slow and i have to work in certain organizations. I cant just start from anywhere. After i start i decide it was a bad idea to start this way and i change things few times and never like it anyway. I feel tired, slow, stupid even. I feel suffocating and i cry alot. Small things makes me cry. I feel overwhelmed. I know i have a lot on my plate and it should be normal what in feeling. Then i go back and just say no im just stupid. I have an ideal husband who adores me, a great child. But i dont give them as much as they give me. I dont even know if thats what it is. I just blame myself anyway for what ever that doesn’t seen right around me. At the end. I know i will keep feeling like this and there is nothing i can do about it.
Hi, Jessy ~ I'm sorry you're struggling right now. It sounds to me like you might benefit from help. Please take a look at these resources: https://www.healthyplace.com/self-help/depression/need-help-with-depression-here-s-what-t…. I know you said you think the problem is anxiety, and it might be. However, anxiety and depression often occur together. And, even if you are only experiencing anxiety, the resources mentioned on that page can help with that, too. I hope you find support and comfort soon!
hey, jessy - it sounds to me like anxiety and depression. anxiety can leave you overwhelmed. it also can affect your ability to focus. likewise, so can depression.
i have struggled with panic disorder and chronic anxiety since i was 13 (along with depression). i have the same issues with reading. i can read things ... and forget what i read. i feel like things don't go in my brain sometimes ... particularly when i need them to (for a test or something). i will sit through a lecture ... and not recall what most was about. it's not an intelligence thing. it's an anxiety and focus thing. you're not stupid! really. that's hallmark anxiety and depression you've described.
i'd recommend looking into seeing an anxiety specialist, if you can. i'd also recommend reading about mindfulness and DBT and try to gain skills in both. they can help a lot with both anxiety disorders and depression. i'd also recommend having some compassion for yourself. go easy on you. and when you hear yourself saying "i'm stupid" or whatever else ... recognize that as just a thought, as just a habit, and let it pass. your thoughts aren't the truth. so let them happen and pass.
Thank you so much for writing this article. I've been feeling like this since middle school and back then i didn't understand why I had all of a sudden started feeling slow and unable to concentrate. Before the symptoms started setting in, I was pretty sharp mentally and could learn and understand things very quickly. Because of a not so great home life, i never reached out for help. I'm in my mid-20's now and my symptoms have gotten progressively worse to the point where a trip to the grocery store or the post office seems impossible sometimes. My mental fog makes me mess up the simplest things, and everytime I do force myself to leave my house i do or say something that makes me feel worthless and stupid and embarrassed for anywhere from an hour to days after the incident. It's a vicious cycle that has made escape seem impossible. I am proud to say, though, that yesterday my wonderful boyfriend helped me to gather the courage to go see the doctor- I've been officially diagnosed and it's such an incredible relief to known that these things arent my fault and that I CAN fight this disease. Thanks to you, and everyone else in the comments, for sharing your stories. It's wonderful not to feel so alone.