Parents Who Allow Verbal Abuse

As with adults, children may use verbal abuse in their daily lives for various reasons. Sometimes, parents allow verbal abuse and will not correct their children when they exhibit this damaging behavior.

Why Do Parents Allow Children to Verbally Abuse Others? 

Unfortunately, there are no restrictions on verbal abuse. Even young children can yell insults and make degrading comments to others. Parents may unknowingly allow verbally abusive behavior to continue if they are unaware of it happening or don't believe it's a problem. However, some parents will neglect to correct a child who is verbally abusive because of their own impression of abuse.

Of course, children are not born to be abusers. This behavior can be learned as a youngster from those who are close to the child. The reasons why children use verbal abuse can vary, depending on their circumstances. Some common reasons may include: 

• Having verbally abusive parents or guardians
• Experiencing trauma or abuse
• Possessing poor problem-solving skills 
• Not having an example of a healthy relationship
• Developmental disabilities 

Not every child will be verbally abusive when these situations apply, but they can be circumstances that allow verbal abuse. As a mother of four, I see how different my children are, even when facing the same situations. All of my kids responded differently to circumstances when verbal abuse was present in our lives. The after-effects I experienced from my own experience with verbal abuse motivated me to ensure that I would raise them without relying on verbal abuse as a parenting method.

Not Allowing Verbal Abuse as a Parent 

It can be challenging to parent a child who uses verbal abuse as a method of communication. Some parents may ignore these off-handed negative comments if they are infrequent, thinking the behavior isn't a big problem. However, a parent should never allow verbal abuse. Not only will the child think these actions are acceptable, but they will continue to use verbal abuse as they mature. Although some people think a toddler yelling at them is cute, a teenager yelling insults years later is not.

Some helpful tips I used when, as a parent, I didn't allow verbal abuse at home or school include: 

• Remaining calm with a neutral tone
• Listening to the child
• Understanding what the child wanted or needed
• Offering alternative methods to verbal abuse
• Using open communication without judgment

Raising and caring for children is one of the toughest jobs in the world. It's everyone's responsibility to speak up if they witness a child being verbally abusive. If we work together, we can ensure the next generation will be healthier and happier without using abusive tactics in their relationships.