Can I Trust My Choices After Leaving Verbal Abuse?

Self-trust can be impacted by past verbal abuse. Experiencing verbal abuse can alter how an individual perceives the world around them. Understanding this negative dynamic is helpful when managing a life outside of verbal abuse. However, the side effects of being in a verbally abusive relationship can create future issues when interacting with others and making decisions. If you are recovering from verbal abuse, you may not trust yourself, like I have. 

Verbal Abuse Took Away My Self-Trust 

Unfortunately, I have been the target of verbal abuse in many different areas of my life. It has dramatically impacted my confidence in making decisions from childhood to work situations and personal relationships. Although I have begun to heal, my mental health still experiences low self-assurance at times. My past verbal abuse has impacted my self-trust.

In the past, I've been ridiculed when making decisions for myself, my children, and the workplace. These situations left me with depleted self-esteem and confidence. Even when I was no longer in a verbally abusive situation, I couldn't bring myself to make better life choices.

Instead, I gravitated to circumstances that suited my low self-worth with others who continued to mistreat me. I didn't realize until much later how much trust I lost in my choices. I feared being judged by others or making mistakes I couldn't fix. 

Rebuilding My Self-Trust During Verbal Abuse Recovery

It's not easy to rebuild self-trust if you are someone who has experienced verbal abuse. I know I've been very cautious of others as I begin to heal. For many years, I couldn't trust my choices in personal or work relationships, leaving me feeling defeated and inadequate. 

I was scared to make decisions because I was certain things would end badly. I thought no matter what I did, it would result in a negative situation, and I felt too ashamed to break out of my comfort zone. Thankfully, with extensive therapy, I have started to use various tools and strategies to reverse this side effect of verbal abuse. 

Some ways I slowly built up my self-trust despite verbal abuse included: 

• Being kind to myself
• Recognizing my strengths
• Giving myself grace when I make mistakes
• Taking enough time to make decisions
• Setting reasonable boundaries for myself
• Avoiding comparing myself to others
• Seeking professional therapy strategies
• Surrounding myself with positive people

I still have days when I second-guess my choices or feel hopeless when making decisions. I am thankful these days are getting fewer as I continue to heal from verbal abuse. My recovery is not over, as I still battle self-doubt. But I'm lucky enough to have a supportive partner, family, and friends who believe in me. When I'm feeling anxious about a choice, talking with these people helps reinforce my confidence so I can move forward away from this negative side effect of verbal abuse.