2012 Top 10 Posts for Verbal Abuse In Relationships Blog

Counting down to 2013 means different things to different people, but I thought I'd take time out to share Verbal Abuse In Relationships greatest hits in 2012. Thank you for all of your encouragement and support throughout this year! I look forward to meeting more of you in the next 365 days.

Happy New Year! May 2013 be full of support, encouragement and success for all, and your every day filled with love, light, and laughter.

Top 10 Posts on Verbal Abuse in Relationships

(Views/Number of days since published)

10. Taking A Stand Against Abuse Requires A Touch of Fear - I feel responsible for teaching my oldest son that it is all right to act out physically when things don't go his way. I allowed him to watch his father and I perpetuate the cycle of violence in our home. I didn't walk away from my marriage as soon as I now wish I could have.

9. Do the Emotional Effects of Abuse Ever Disappear? - One morning, while applying waterproof mascara, I looked into my eyes and saw it. Nothing. My eyes didn't shine or pop; there was no light. Where did I go? Where was my soul?

8. Co-Parenting With An Abuser - All of us survivors know that our ex will at least verbally and emotionally abuse our children. We survivors also know how hard that type of abuse is to prove, and even proving it doesn't mean your ex will have less time with our children.

7. Abuse is a Scary Word No One Wants to Use - ...Back then, to me, "Verbal Abuse" was the name of a band or the type of angering insult one might hear from a stranger on the street. Verbal abuse was almost a joke, a simple case of mama-not-teaching-you-how-to-talk-nice, as far as I was concerned. I felt comfortable using the term verbal abuse to help describe my marriage.

6. Stuck On Stupid: Living With Abuse - Way before I understood that my (now ex) husband abused me, he asked me if I was stuck on stupid, and I thought to myself, “No, I am stuck with Stupid.” Saying that statement aloud did not seem like a good idea, so I kept it to myself.

5. Signs Your Friend Is Abused - Kasandra Perkins and possibly ten other women died at the hands of their partner on December 1, 2012...Yet today, Internet news sources remember Kasandra Perkin's boyfriend, the man who killed her..., and the jest of the commentary is, "We didn't see this coming. He was such a great guy!" Typical.

4. Things Verbal Abusers Say And Do - What does verbal abuse sound like? The tone and content varies from abuser to abuser, but the words effect the victim in similar ways. Victims hear horrible things from their abuser and they feel small, withdrawn, angry, helpless, sad, shame, and a hundred other horrible emotions – sometimes all at once.

3. Abuse Victims Addiction Problem - The New Year sparks desires to bring something new into our lives...But if you feel like I did seven years ago, the idea of “doing something new” when there were so many old problems to solve seemed like too much...I lost myself in...a video game that allowed me to create a pretend family of my choosing.

2. PTSD and Memories of Abuse - Many abuse victims suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder, me included. The other day while writing the post about my ex's abusive anger, I had to take an hour break before I could finish writing. My body reacted the same way it did when my ex ran up on me, panicky, wobbly, ... fearful.

1. Holidays With Abusers Suck – Ways to Deal With Their Crap - Has your co-worker or loved one ever given you a beautiful gift, but then acted offended that you didn't appreciate it enough, claimed that you were lying about how much you liked it, snatched it back saying you didn't deserve it at all, or any other action that changed your happiness into some other feeling?

Author's Top Five Picks From 2012

Some of my favorite posts didn't make the list. It seems that this blog has received an upshot in popularity over the past eight weeks or so. Most of the Top 10 List comes from the past two months! While that is great for the blog (tooting my New Year's horn!), it skews the results. I don't have time to compute whatever needs to be computed to make it fair, so I thought I'd pick my favorite top five. These posts all reveal a secret that abusers wouldn't want you to know:

5. How Abusers Gain Control By Appearing to Lose It because those abusers are a sneaky bunch. Did you know their heart rates actually lower when they're raging on you? They are calm inside because abusive anger is about control, not emotion.

4. Control Your Emotions So Your Abusive Partner Can't because partners of abusers learn to pay attention to their abuser's emotions above their own. That isn't only unfair, it is dangerous and perpetuates the cycle of abuse.

3. New Year Brainwashing, er, Wishes because some of the thoughts and fears you carry may not be yours. Eerie, isn't it?

2. Proof of Change because abusers love to promise to change after hurting you, but you cannot allow them to tell you they've changed. Make them show you.

1. How To Argue With Your Abuser because abusers are NOT peace-seeking individuals after a win-win.