5 Ways to Survive the First Year After a Breakup

Last summer, my boyfriend and I enjoyed celebrating our birthdays and the Fourth of July together for the first time. But after our relationship ended in late July, I felt like a mess. This past year since the breakup, every holiday and milestone was very difficult for me. Now that nearly a year has passed since the breakup, I have learned how to continue my single life. Here are five coping methods that have helped me.

5 Ways I Survived the First Year After My Breakup

1. I allowed myself to feel sad on holidays. Yesterday, I remembered seeing the fireworks with my boyfriend and meeting his friends on the Fourth of July last year. The memories created a wall of sadness around me. I felt pathetic for feeling sad nearly a year after the breakup. I also felt guilty because being sad meant that I was discounting all the positive things I had in my life. But I reminded myself that my sadness was valid, and it would pass. About an hour later, I felt better.
2. I refrained from drinking alcohol. Even though I had never been addicted to alcohol, I have been tempted to drink on all the major holidays this year. The irrational part of my mind thought that if I drank enough, I would temporarily forget about the memories and the breakup. But the few times I drank too much in the past, I called my exes and embarrassed myself by appearing desperate. So when I felt lonely and sad about my breakup this year, I avoided alcohol by drinking water or Diet Coke instead.
3. I reflected on the positive. Being single can make me feel lonely at times. But this year, I found many things that have made me feel a sense of joy, relief, and gratitude. Most of my coworkers are kind and helpful. My puppies shower me with kisses and make me laugh. Going out with friends and spending time with family allows me to relive and create nice memories. The positive things I have gained this year remind me that life can still be fun and fulfilling.
4. I vented on a mental health support app. One of the best things about virtual support groups and apps was that I remained anonymous. No one knew my exact situation except for the information I shared. Most of the members empathized with my struggle. I was relieved to know that I was not alone. Since so many other people have gotten through the first year after a breakup, I knew that I could as well.
5. I decided to focus on my goals. Creating and striving toward goals helped me find a sense of purpose. Unfortunately, anxiety and depression made it difficult for me to meet all of them. But by revising my goals and my action plan, the tasks became much more manageable. I am more motivated to stay focused on my goals instead of dwelling on the past.