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I’m worn out from my borderline personality disorder pushing me into hyperproductivity and distorting my sense of mental wellness. I used to think my worth was tied to my output, but now I see that this endless chase for productivity is actually undermining my mental health, leaving my mental wellness more fragmented.
Living with Binge Eating Disorder (BED) has been one of the most challenging experiences of my life. The recurring episodes of consuming large quantities of food quickly, often to the point of physical discomfort, were accompanied by overwhelming feelings of shame and guilt. Unlike other eating disorders, BED doesn’t involve purging, excessive exercise, or fasting, making it feel even more isolating.
I’ve been driving to my intensive outpatient program (IOP) five times a week despite my schizoaffective anxiety about driving. It’s not a very far drive, but it’s a start. Here’s how I have been able to beat my schizoaffective anxiety and drive to the IOP.
A little over four years ago, I came across an opportunity to write about a topic that I have been passionate about for quite some time. The chance to write for HealthyPlace was exciting and so important to me, but at the same time, it was a bit daunting knowing that I would be sharing a part of myself with an audience of readers that I didn’t know. It turned out to be one of the best decisions I ever made.
Have you ever wondered how to practice self-care when your therapist is away? As someone taking a break from therapy, this question is often on my mind nowadays. While it is possible to get by without your therapist, the ultimate goal is to thrive and not just survive. To do so, regular self-care is essential. 
Eating disorders can normalize dysfunction to the point where it starts to feel comfortable, even when it's miserable—but the road to healing breaks that cycle of mess and misery. During those years I spent under the influence of anorexia, suffering was my baseline. I resented this pain, but I also pursued it, like a magnetic pull into the chaos that seemed predictable, familiar, and secure because it was all I knew. Healing showed me an alternative in which mess and misery are no longer the constants, and inner peace is attainable, no matter the circumstances.
For much of my life, I struggled with my mental health, and my self-esteem suffered deeply as a result. Anomalous thoughts and perceptions shadowed my every step, draining the color from my world and leaving me feeling isolated and insignificant. One day, however, I discovered a tool that helped me find a way out of that darkness: ecstatic dance. This form of creative expression brought unexpected joy and a newfound sense of self-esteem into my life. 
Navigating dating as a young adult in college is challenging enough, but adding the complexities of managing bipolar disorder turns it into an even more intricate balancing act. I went through my first breakup when I was eighteen, and due to the emotional toll, I decided to take a break before I attempted to date again. At nineteen, I had my first manic episode and was diagnosed with bipolar 1. The emotional toll of processing the trauma related to that manic episode was much worse than the breakup. As a result, I began to fear adding dating back into the equation while my mental health still seemed out of control. I also feared that nobody would be able to understand me after this experience. I became so avoidant towards dating that I did not go on another date until I was manic four years later. 
Many times during treatment, you may have to consider whether to change your bipolar medication. This is a complicated question and a personal one. The answer varies from person to person. If you're considering changing your bipolar medication, here are some things to think about.
Gambling addiction is a battle fought largely in silence, but recovery support groups can change that. The shame and stigma associated with the addiction make it hard for most to open up about their struggles, making recovery even more difficult. One of the tools that has been truly helpful in my journey is participating in recovery support groups.

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Pracilla
I was put on lithium then seroquel I gain 80 pounds. I ate healthy and exercised didn't help. They tried Metformin, nothing. I looked in the mirror one day and just made the decision to stop the medication. After 3 months I lost 20 pound and now it is a year and a half later and I have lost the entire 80 pounds and then lost another 10 for good measure. How am I expected to be a happy person when I am a fat slob who has to take more medication to offset side effects of other medication. I quit. You can't make me feel guilty and force me into taking the medication. It raise my blood sugar, blood pressure and was making my thyroid levels so low they added yet another medication. I may have bad days, but rather then hating the person in the mirror bad days seem a small price. Heck to me suicide would be a smaller price then letting those drugs slowly kill me with all the side effects.
Julia
i haven't self harmed in 3 years and 5 months!
Haven
This feels like I wrote it. I struggle with this daily with my son and my boyfriend. They are both so incredible and I feel they deserve better and more than I can do. They want me to make decisions and to be happy. But then it just adds to the pressure of wanting to do everything right. Too often I think my son would be better without my crippling mental health; but I know killing myself would just destroy him. (His dad isn’t involved, it’s just been him and I) Every day is so hard because I want to be better, but I just don’t know how.
Amanda F.
To Macy R.-I was like you also! My puberty started at age 12 and the bedwetting shortly after.My parents also put me into cloth diapers and rubberpants at bedtime.I had white and pastel and babyprint rubberpants also and mom put them on me like a baby at bedtime.I started using a pacifier also while mom would be putting the diapers and rubberpants on me and would suck on it in bed.I also had to wear the diapers and rubberpants for Easter,under my Easter dresses and for Christmas under my holiday dresses.When i was 13,i was a flowergirl in a relatives wedding and wore a white,poofy,above the knees flowergirl dress and headwreath with lace anklets and white shoes.Mom put the diapers on me with a pair of white rubberpants with pink ruffles sewn across the back which made me feel really cute and little girlish!All thru 14 my bedwetting went on and i was feeling pretty much like a 'baby' wearing the diapers and rubberpants.Finially,my bedwetting ended just past 15 and i was conflicted,i was mature but still had 'baby'feelings!I finially got up the courage to tell mom that i wanted to keep on wearing the diapers and rubberpants to bed and for the holidays,etc and she said ok,that they would keep me pure like a little girl.I am 17 now and still wearing the diapers and rubberpants occaissonly to bed and for holidays and special occassions.
Kirsi Cannaday
Thank you for your comment Gar. We are so grateful for each other and the love and commitment we have that keeps us going.