Relationship Clues Led to Being Rediagnosed with BPD

Trigger warning: This post involves a frank discussion of suicidal thoughts and self-harm urges.

I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD) in my 20s after a pill overdose and a pseudopsychotic episode. After receiving outpatient care for a year, I was told that I no longer met the criteria for BPD. In the years since, I've been living my life with the understanding that I have depression, anxiety, and complex posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). This changed in 2022.

My Journey to a BPD Rediagnosis

After an overnight stay in the psychiatric ward, a psychiatrist assessed and rediagnosed me as having BPD. While I struggled to accept this at first, I recognized that having BPD explained the more severe symptoms I'd been having in the past couple of years, especially with regard to my relationships. I'd been behaving in a more passive-aggressive and paranoid way, especially with the friend whose home I stayed in for the first half of 2022. I'd also experienced intense suicidal thoughts and self-harm urges -- the calling card of my experience with BPD in my younger days.

Now, I've chosen to accept that I have BPD and share my story with others.

If you feel that you may hurt yourself or someone else, call 9-1-1 immediately.

For more information on suicide, see our suicide information, resources, and support section. For additional mental health help, please see our mental health hotline numbers and referral resources section.