A Visit to The Psychiatrist...

I have an appointment with My Psychiatrist today. In exactly six hours and forty minutes. Well, six hours and forty-two minutes to be exact. I know things like this. I have not seen her in a month. She was on vacation. She told me she would be riding camel's--I'm serious--on her vacation. How lovely for her!

Me? Well, I'll be working. I'll be writing stuff like this, important stuff, writing that I hope might be interesting and, dare I suggest, helpful?

Preparing For The Appointment...

So, the appointment is set in stone. It is written in my lovely day timer in red ink. It is, after all these years, still stressful. A visit to My Psychiatrist! Yay! Ugh.

I should probably be a little more informational in this blog, after all, it's all about recovering from mental illness. And visiting The Psychiatrist is important. So, I prepare. And might I suggest you should do this as well? It makes the appointment, the outcome, easier.

Perhaps, make a list: if your not feeling so great, it's easier. Here is my check list for today:

>I have been exceptionally tired

>I fight to stay awake

>Food? I forget it exists sometimes

>Those in my circle have told me I'm a little (no kidding!) down as of late

Fun stuff. Maybe I'm depressed?

The End Result: Seven Hours Later...

We are sitting in her large office. I am, as usual, staring at anything but her face and the large book of notes--about me--in front of her.

She asks me:

"Natalie, what is going on in your life right now?"

My response:

"Um, well, I'm publishing a book. I just ended a three-year relationship. I'm newly sober--well, a couple years, but that is still new. I just moved and have to move again. I have never stayed in a home for longer then one year since I was eighteen. But that is another story completely. Some other stuff I can't remember...normal stuff. Work stress. Money..."

I trail off.

Her response:

"Natalie, your reaction is normal. You are going through a lot of life changes. Medication will not help this."

I know this. I wonder why I wasted my time. But it is not wasted time.

She tells me:

"If you continue fighting fatigue we might try to alter one of your medications"

My response:

"Hmmm.."

I curse her for hiding the clock. For not wearing a damn watch. For not being able to Fix Me.

But I'm not broken---either are you.

I'm thinking of all the work I have to do. I am picturing a huge latte from Starbucks that will not wake me up. I am dreaming of the future and stuck in the present. But I am not "sick"--I am human.

I am adapting to life and life is adapting to me. But when you live with a mental illness you need to work to stay stable.

Why is it Important to Check in With Your Health Care Team?

Because your, our, stability depends on it. Sure, my outcome was favorable, if you could call it that, but what if I did not go to the appointment? What if my symptoms were related to mental illness, possible relapse, and not circumstance? Well, I would become unwell.

And that is why I go to these appointments. That is why I urge you to as well.

Our recovery depends on it. Really, it does.