Searching For Signs Of Mental Health In The Universe

One troubling symptom of mental illness is an unsettling belief that one is receiving communication from an unknown other wrapped with the utmost subtlety in various coded communiqués. What did he mean by that? – you might ask – indeed – if I know you – and I don’t – you did – or did you?

You see my point.

The universe itself, steered by some invisible hand wrapped in a cellophane glove, is apparently stirring symbols of every description – words, pictographs, numbers, sounds – into a bubbling stew that is very, very you – and yet – there is no way to be certain what, if anything, it all means.

Thus we confront the central challenge that mental illness presents, which is – am I one frog’s leg shy of an entrée at a chic French bistro, or, conversely, is the world simply bonkers whether or not I am in it?

One may labor over this debate at great length and come up empty.

Why do I wax poetic like this when I could be waxing my car? Simple. Tomorrow is 12/12/12 – or – if you prefer – twelve twelve twelve. Throughout the known, and unknown, world – scientists, sociologists, scientologists, numismatists, hot air balloonists, gas station attendants and others are hotly debating the significance of this numerological anomaly, or lack thereof.

I once heard Carl Sagan debunk the pseudo-science traveling under the charming soubriquet “astrology” in a tone of voice that blended amusement, disdain, and woe in one frothy confection. This is what he said. “Your microwave oven exerts a stronger gravitational force over you than the nearest star.” Sagan, it must be pointed out, was a chronic marijuana user – (one of many at Harvard) – who lobbied in favor of this unruly weed which even as we speak is making inroads into our culture – and consequently, I’m glad to say, is not to be trusted.

But I do not smoke reefer and I did not go to Harvard so I, by contrast, am thoroughly credible. With this in mind I will tell you that I do see significance in the upcoming number syzygy of twelve times three and because I am so confident about it I will reveal my prediction now so that – if I am wrong – you will know immediately.

I predict that tomorrow - on 12/12/12 – everybody in the world will enter a twelve (12) step program and participate in it for twelve (12) months. By 12/12/13 global peace of mind will have reached epidemic proportions.